It Looks Like I Was Never Even Meant To Have Friends.

[blackg]

I have no one IRL to help me, that's why i'm venting here you dumb f***. It sucks when no one gives a f*** IRL, so i'm forced to vent in a forum which has a retard like you.

There is no need for this kind of language.

 

[Baldingat188]

I feel this as I currently have 0 friends . I've had friends in the past but somehow even when I do have friends I'm always the one who gets picked on in the friend group. And then it's not long before people just get bored of being around me I guess. I'm a pretty weird guy and I also have social anxiety so that probly contributes to it. But idk man , friends are hard to have perhaps even harder then having a relationship.

 

[Baldingat188]

It is a pretty depressing realization that there is nothing out there to help with this situation either. Therapist and all these self help things are bullshit imo . Maybe some people genuinely do care but the number is few. Most people just want to give some feel good blue pill advice. I'm so tired of people saying sh*t like "you matter" etc etc , the reality is that we don't. I don't even care if people say we matter to the people's lives we touch cause guess what - those people don't matter either. We are just sitting around rotting incels using up resources on the earth. So yea , I'm super tired of all the blue pill self help stuff. In reality there is no escape and no one really cares other then family and possibly a few close friends. I can't even be open about having depression or any of that stuff because I don't want to seem like a cry baby. I'm so tired of reading how everyone is depressed on Facebook. The reality is no one cares.

 

[Rudiger]

Wow I didn't read the first page of this thread until now.

Wow.

 

[Exodus2011]

I like them but I wouldn't prefer to be with one over a small girl with a pert butt, that's definitely preferable. I guess romantically I shouldn't worry much about baldness, because even if baldness leaves me with chubby options, I'll still be basically happy.

I think the post was more for your benefit, and possibly if you'd reconsider. Have you tried chubby p*rn? I know you aren't a big fan of the p*rn thing generally with nofap etc, but the first time I watched these videos I was amazed how hot I found it.

Part of that hotness I admit is because it's the surprise factor, it's somewhat taboo, fat girls are all over the place, it's like a "diamond in the rough" mentality in psychology. So it's kind of like "I never wanted a girl like that and they're always desperate to f***, look how hot it can be if I chose to go for it." p*rn isn't interactive (unless cams, or maybe VR, etc, but normal just watching p*rn is not an interactive experience) or so it's conventionally believed, but I do believe a lot of the time for the majority of people, watching someone getting fucked, and imagining how you'd feel if you were f*****g them, is an interactive experience even if it's just by ourselves.

Not always, but often I think about what circumstance this could occur in, how I'd get to f*** her, I don't know if I'm alone with this (possibly overambitious?). Watching BBW p*rn is like, "I know how I'd find myself in this circumstance, I could literally go to a bar or club on my own any night and pick one up"

Easy access is normally a turn-off in most circumstances, low-value commodities are not desired, in this case for me at least, the opposite effect happens. I could bang my way through any infinite amount of girls like this, and have a very good time in doing so, each and every time. Because nobody else of aesthetic value would do it.

lmao i always make up storylines when i'm bating. doesnt help that i always bate while stoned xD.

i actually mostly bate to girls i know on facebook's pictures (mainly from back in high school). especially in these cases its easy and understandable to make up stories

sorta chubby isn't so bad, its just once you get past that line of whaledom they start to enter disgusting territory. i actually agree it would be hot to get with a sorta chubby girl. i like to imagine me trying to fake not being attracted to her, and then she laughs at me and is able to see through the act.then she rubs in how even a girl of HER tier has power over me

 

[Exodus2011]

Here are some heavier chicks I would consider prospects

View attachment 69691 View attachment 69692 View attachment 69693

Size would not be a deal breaker for me with any of these women

Much more than that though and I would not date, although I might consider sex if her face was still nice

i would definitely enjoy being sat on by their asses, or having their legs wrapped around my head

 

[AnxiousAndy]

I spend every single day inside, on most of them im drinking cheap cider and overdosing on diazepam pills. Life is hard and unfair @Stanx22, but when you are old enough to drink legally you can numb the pain of this world for a while. Its probably not ideal or what you wanted to hear but there is hope, and maybe its at the bottom of a bottle. Keep fighting the good fight and get on finasteride

 

[DoctorHouse]

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I spend every single day inside, on most of them im drinking cheap cider and overdosing on diazepam pills. Life is hard and unfair @Stanx22, but when you are old enough to drink legally you can numb the pain of this world for a while. Its probably not ideal or what you wanted to hear but there is hope, and maybe its at the bottom of a bottle. Keep fighting the good fight and get on finasteride

Cider? Seriously?

Try a lager.

 

[AnxiousAndy]

Cider? Seriously?

Try a lager.

I perfer lager but cider is alot cheaper.

 

[razzmatazz91]

But more importantly the act of taking control of life and getting exactly what you want is EXTREMELY FULFILLING for a man. Nobody is going to give you want you want @Stanx22 , you have to do whatever it takes to win. Being negative won't fix anything. venting won't fix anything.
Fixing things is the only way you will feel better.

Pearls of wisdom right there from our man Ted!

It is a pretty depressing realization that there is nothing out there to help with this situation either. Therapist and all these self help things are bullshit imo . Maybe some people genuinely do care but the number is few. Most people just want to give some feel good blue pill advice. I'm so tired of people saying sh*t like "you matter" etc etc , the reality is that we don't. I don't even care if people say we matter to the people's lives we touch cause guess what - those people don't matter either. We are just sitting around rotting incels using up resources on the earth. So yea , I'm super tired of all the blue pill self help stuff. In reality there is no escape and no one really cares other then family and possibly a few close friends. I can't even be open about having depression or any of that stuff because I don't want to seem like a cry baby. I'm so tired of reading how everyone is depressed on Facebook. The reality is no one cares.

Yup. That's pretty much the way I feel right there bro.
But realising no one matters, and that life is inherently meaningless can free you. Trust me. Read The Stranger by Albert Camus.

 

[Stanx22]

i would definitely enjoy being sat on by their asses, or having their legs wrapped around my head

how exodus has sex

 

[Dante92]

Pretend like you aren't depressed. Put on a normal mask.

Also, lashing out at people doesn't help in making friends.

This is true. I thought venting here would help (and it has), and that I could have worn a mask in public to conceal my depression, fears and insecurities, but I was wrong. I only ended up developing a distorted worldview, considering myself an innocent victim of other people and the world and being paranoid, anxious, hateful and suspicious of everyone and everything as a result. I have been walking around playing the victim game and treating all people with fear and fake respect, fearing someone (everyone) is out to get me, waiting for the right chance to hurt and humiliate me. I don't even know what I was expecting. The result is I am alone, sad, paranoid and depressed and considered a weirdo and a self-absorbed, judgmental jerk. That's also why I'm treated like dirt. I don't hate people, I'm just so f*****g afraid of being hurt.

 

[Exodus2011]

This is true. I thought venting here would help (and it has), and that I could have worn a mask in public to conceal my depression, fears and insecurities, but I was wrong. I only ended up developing a distorted worldview, considering myself an innocent victim of other people and the world and being paranoid, anxious, hateful and suspicious of everyone and everything as a result. I have been walking around playing the victim game and treating all people with fear and fake respect, fearing someone (everyone) is out to get me, waiting for the right chance to hurt and humiliate me. I don't even know what I was expecting. The result is I am alone, sad, paranoid and depressed and considered a weirdo and a self-absorbed, judgmental jerk. That's also why I'm treated like dirt. I don't hate people, I'm just so f*****g afraid of being hurt.

what happened? where have you been lately?

 

[Dante92]

what happened? where have you been lately?

Nothing. I merely came to terms with the fact that I was right about many things, but that I was so wrong about many others. I discovered people I hated for their good looks and for the fact that, in my mind, they were mocking me, only wanted to be friends with me, but they could not understand why I looked at them coldly, with fear and contempt (and pretended not to see them when I met them and refused to interact with them), as if they actually did something terrible to me. I had no idea I did such things, and I have never realized I actively kept people at a distance with my behaviour.

 

[blackg]

This is true. I thought venting here would help (and it has), and that I could have worn a mask in public to conceal my depression, fears and insecurities, but I was wrong. I only ended up developing a distorted worldview, considering myself an innocent victim of other people and the world and being paranoid, anxious, hateful and suspicious of everyone and everything as a result. I have been walking around playing the victim game and treating all people with fear and fake respect, fearing someone (everyone) is out to get me, waiting for the right chance to hurt and humiliate me. I don't even know what I was expecting. The result is I am alone, sad, paranoid and depressed and considered a weirdo and a self-absorbed, judgmental jerk. That's also why I'm treated like dirt. I don't hate people, I'm just so f*****g afraid of being hurt.

This self reflection is good, Dante. I applaud you and wish you a balanced life.

 

[blackg]

Nothing. I merely came to terms with the fact that I was right about many things, but that I was so wrong about many others. I discovered people I hated for their good looks and for the fact that, in my mind, they were mocking me, only wanted to be friends with me, but they could not understand why I looked at them coldly, with fear and contempt (and pretended not to see them when I met them and refused to interact with them), as if they actually did something terrible to me. I had no idea I did such things, and I have never realized I actively kept people at a distance with my behaviour.

People on this forum were telling you this about 18 months ago.

 

[Exodus2011]

Nothing. I merely came to terms with the fact that I was right about many things, but that I was so wrong about many others. I discovered people I hated for their good looks and for the fact that, in my mind, they were mocking me, only wanted to be friends with me, but they could not understand why I looked at them coldly, with fear and contempt (and pretended not to see them when I met them and refused to interact with them), as if they actually did something terrible to me. I had no idea I did such things, and I have never realized I actively kept people at a distance with my behaviour.

why the change of heart? have you made friends? did you go to the therapist? how is england?

 

[Dante92]

why the change of heart? have you made friends? did you go to the therapist? how is england?

I realized I need help and that I was wrong, the resentful, bitter, judgmental and pitiful person I have become is not the real me, and I can be much better than this, I am much better than this. I want to be the same person I used to be: happy, sociable and easygoing. Depression and anxiety have consumed me enough already.

 

[sunchyme1]

I realized I need help and that I was wrong, the resentful, bitter, judgmental and pitiful person I have become is not the real me, and I can be much better than this, I am much better than this. I want to be the same person I used to be: happy, sociable and easygoing. Depression and anxiety have consumed me enough already.

Dante are you in the uk still?