Buzzed Hair Down To 1mm And Stopped Visiting Hair Forums

[dunno]

You won't find a job if you're average. No way. Well, some people win the lottery.

What kind of work are you in / talking about anyway? maybe as a bartender lol
Aslong as your educated and good at what you do, theres no problem.

 

[tellersquill]

Fred and zircon are right, things are never as they seem; reality is, usually, much grimmer and more depressing. Tellersquill thinks that appearance doesn't play a key role, he thinks his personality, interests and crap make him special, different, but only because he lived very positive experiences (halo effect, b****s). People like me, fred and others were not so lucky, so we soon realized how things and people truly are and we came to grips with reality long ago.

You know I've suffered from suicidal and self destructive behaviour, right?

It wasn't over hair loss but I've had times where I felt so low. I even ran away and ended up in Austria planning to kill myself.

Please don't make out I am sort of bright eyed idiot who thinks everything is rosy.

My theory on it all is that attraction works in many ways, but to think it all comes to looks is outright wrong.

I've dated many women who were not stunning - who were pretty 'average' - yet I dated them because they were like me: deep thinking, talkative, bookish, kind and so on.

 

[hairblues]

Did you see them actually being decent-looking women back to their place?

Have you ever felt an urge to have sex with them? If not, why?

YES!!

and YES.

 

[hairblues]

You know I've suffered from suicidal and self destructive behaviour, right?

It wasn't over hair loss but I've had times where I felt so low. I even ran away and ended up in Austria planning to kill myself.

Please don't make out I am sort of bright eyed idiot who thinks everything is rosy.

My theory on it all is that attraction works in many ways, but to think it all comes to looks is outright wrong.

I've dated many women who were not stunning - who were pretty 'average' - yet I dated them because they were like me: deep thinking, talkative, bookish, kind and so on.

This is the thing i believe ZIchron and i believe Freds person experience..i also believe your personal experience...

Its different for different people.

if people are going on tinder to meet women of course its only about looks...this is stupid

and what Tinder does i think for both men and women it gives a false sense of entitlement or 'looks'

so if you use Tinder it is warping reality.

I am not on Tinder--im not being vain i KNOW if i was on Tinder i would get slammed because i think men just swipe 'yes' on most women decent looking to great looking. in a 'what the f*** let me play law of averages way'

where its probably opposite with women because they are paying attention to all these good looking men clicking on them so they think when an average man swipes on them--they are like 'ill' i can get better and reject.

That is Tinder photo only app---its not "REAL" for most people.

Its like a fuckign video game.

to me its like Gridner for straight people.

do some relationships come out of it? sure but i bet its mostly hook ups OR endless texting sexting bullshit that goes no where.

 

[tellersquill]

This is the thing i believe ZIchron and i believe Freds person experience..i also believe your personal experience...

Its different for different people.

if people are going on tinder to meet women of course its only about looks...this is stupid

and what Tinder does i think for both men and women it gives a false sense of entitlement or 'looks'

so if you use Tinder it is warping reality.

I am not on Tinder--im not being vain i KNOW if i was on Tinder i would get slammed because i think men just swipe 'yes' on most women decent looking to great looking. in a 'what the f*** let me play law of averages way'

where its probably opposite with women because they are paying attention to all these good looking men clicking on them so they think when an average man swipes on them--they are like 'ill' i can get better and reject.

That is Tinder photo only app---its not "REAL" for most people.

Its like a fuckign video game.

to me its like Gridner for straight people.

do some relationships come out of it? sure but i bet its mostly hook ups OR endless texting sexting bullshit that goes no where.

We all use tinder differently and I think some people value looks a lot more than others.

I'll swipe left on a pretty girl is she says her interests are shopping, partying, and makeup

I'll swipe right if its an average woman but she likes travel, reading, art, walks etc.

Maybe I am different to most guys, but I think its a shame to write us all off as looks obsessed (not talking about you hairlossblues but some people in general).

 

[AngrySam]

Keep thinking like that, it explains why our current world is so fucked up.
Happiness is not the most important thing in life. That line of thinking makes people do stupid things.
"Ah this feels a little uncomfortable, and my happiness comes first! Let's break up with my boyfriend of 3 years!"
Coping (or being delusional as I call it) is a terrible long-term strategy. It also explains why so many people are unhappy and turn to alcohol.
You need to face your problems: hair loss sucks, it destroys your looks, and looks are what make happy relationships.
Deal with it.

Like I and others also mentioned - your views are polarized extremes. Black and white thinking. The secret is actually balance - and it applies to pretty much everything in life. From how you deal with hairloss, to how you deal with pretty much any problem. Understanding and having the strength to put effort into an area to change it for the better is important - but equally so is having the wisdom to understand and accept the things we can't change. Knowing when it is more beneficial to accept something and place your focus elsewhere. Being able to balance these two is the secret to maximizing happiness and becoming a well rounded successful individual. .

There is an appropriate amount of time, effort, money and medical impact people can dedicate to preventing hair loss. When this becomes an obsession where you are willing to sacrifice health and happiness and your whole self worth is filtered through the single idea that you must have hair to be attractive or successful and spend every waking moment focusing on this. It is no longer healthy or beneficial. The cost out ways the benefit.

The cat's out of the bag thanks to Tinder.
Now we know that looks are all that matter.

Tinder is an app that relies almost exclusively on superficial methods to get matches. If your only measure is a purely superficial one based on getting sex dates then sure hair loss will have an impact. If you are a well rounded individual you will understand there are plenty of other methods to meet ladies and take them back to your bedroom or get into a relationship and leverage these instead.

Also life has a funny way of reflecting back at us what we put out and polishing our rough patches. To the superficial and one dimensional man who's only asset is his looks. Hairloss can be a killer. But it also forces him to polish and improve other areas of himself

 

[hairblues]

You just pulled that assertion out of your ***.

For all we know, mainly relationships come out of it.

I have many examples around me and so does my girlfriend.

We f*** each other and have relationships with one another primarily because of the way we look.

If this was not the case, Tinder and dating websites in general would have been a failure.

It's not the case now, is it? I don't believe there's a parallel reality out there where women f*** men because they sound smart or confident.

Cut the BS please. You f*** men because you're turned on by their looks too.

And what's with the "it's not real" nonsense? As I usually say, when I bust my load into a girl I met from Tinder, it feels pretty real to me. Quit coping.



Looks are a prerequisite, not something that's nice to have.

Do you know what prerequisite means? You can't put more or less importance on it since it's 1 or 0.

If it's not there, if you don't meet the required threshold that a girl needs to feel sexually turned on by you, it's game over.

You can't talk your way into her pants once her biology has said no.

And whether she says yes or no is determined by your looks, not your charisma and confidence.

Its comical how pissed and rude and insulting you get when someone does not agree with you

You yourself said your 'good looking' since your transplant correct?

You said your girlfriend is good looking i assume since you 'same level' or whatever you fuckign theories are.

So for average or unattractive men of course they are not going to do well on there

It sounds from the way you speak about your girlfriend 'your' relationship is solely based on physical attraction.

You said you go bald she will most likely leave your ***--correct?

So for you and yourGF and your little group of friends--Yes great relationships lol...

Lets see how you are doing in a few years.

Lets see when she's gains 10 pounds or you lose some more hair if your together.

Yes I do f*** men i am attracted too--why would i f*** men i am NOT attracted too? That would be stupid

What i find attractive is more than their f*****g face--that is the fuckin point.

Would i f*** a man i thought repulsive or ugly? NO

Have i fucked men who i thought average--spent a bit of time gotten to know--then found them more 'attractive' YES

Would that work in your life? Probably not.

Would that work with your girlfriend specifically? Probably not

Will your GF leave your *** if you lose hair? If you think so i take your word for it.

Would you leave her if she became disfigured in next year? Probably sounds like it from your 'theory' of attractiveness this would happen.

 

[hairblues]

We all use tinder differently and I think some people value looks a lot more than others.

I'll swipe left on a pretty girl is she says her interests are shopping, partying, and makeup

I'll swipe right if its an average woman but she likes travel, reading, art, walks etc.

Maybe I am different to most guys, but I think its a shame to write us all off as looks obsessed (not talking about you hairlossblues but some people in general).

I just am going by what people on here say about Tinder and what my younger male friends have said about Tinder

Most men i know in real life a little younger than me have said if asked is it for relationships or getting laid-they usually say 'both'.

I am not writing it off for everyone i am giving my opinion based on what i heard

it definitely does NOT sound good for average to unattractive looking men to be on Tinder.

if someone is decent looking to good looking its probably great.

But this lack of ability to approach women and have conversations is f*****g ridiculous. (not you).

 

[hairblues]

Y. Quit coping.



You sound pathetic.

what the f*** am i coping with Fred?

 

[AngrySam]

I think I'm a pretty smart guy, yet I've never found these other efficient ways to meet women besides online dating. Please enlighten me, what should I do? This is hypothetical by the way, since I have a long-term girlfriend (that I met on Tinder).

So first question what are we talking about with efficient ? Quantity or quality ? There is a difference.

To meet many women for a quick f*** - tinder is hard to beat though really if you are up for hitting bars on a friday\saturday night and have a decent amount of game .... you shouldn't have too many issues in that department. You could argue its actually more efficient at bars then spending time texting a dozen women during the week. If thats what you are after - bald guys might have a slight disadvantage but can still get some with out too many issues. If you can't do this I suggest you stop blaming hair and spend more time on your personality and pickup process. I've seen many who have no problem.

Alternatively if you want to meet and seriously date a high quality woman - which for me involves looks - but also much more then just that (something I perhaps had to learn the hard way - ) - then tinder shouldn't really be your first option. My advice is the best way to meet high quality women I would actually want to date long term is not quite as direct or easy as tinder. It is simply be an active, social, successful person, who is fun to be around, good with people - both men and women. When you have this making friends, networking, meeting and attracting women in real life is not an issue.These things I've just mentioned are all things high quality and usually good looking women are very attracted to for LTR partners. Its a package deal. If you can't meet women outside tinder - it says more about your attitude, approach, personality then your hairstyle. Fixing the hairstyle might get you a f*** - but if you don't spend time on the rest of it then its not going to take you very far.

 

[hairblues]

I'm above average mainly due to my height. I consider that variable part of the looks package.

Looks = what people can see, what's real.

Confidence, charisma, personality? All subjective BS.

You should know that women have evolved to base their mating decision on 'unfakable' traits.

Looks, bone structure, height, natural frame, etc.

If that wasn't the case, there would be at least some evidence that you can talk a woman into bed.

Unfortunately, there is none. Many studies have shown that women decide in a split-second whether they're going to sleep with you or not.

My 'warped point of view' is at least supported by some solid science. What evidence do you have in favor of your argument?

Do you have any study that proves that confidence, charisma and personality can make a girl sexually attracted to you?

Now your being f*****g ridiculous.

Fred your so disappointing studies? give me a f*****g break.

Can you talk women into bed wit bullshit like pick up artists? Thats not what i am talking about.

Your really not deep enough a person to get what i am talking about.

Im not saying your shallow but your very surface your very black or white..

Its fine live your life that way i honestly dont think your capable of anything else

I honestly do not think 'you' can get a woman based on anything other than how attractive she thinks you are.

I believe this.

I dont believe this of every man or even most men.

But from what you put out--yes i believe for you this is indeed the case.

Im not dissing you your probably an okay guy--but I dont think your a deep enough person to see beyond just physical.

it is important but its not the end all be all...but for some it definitely is. And i think for you it is.

 

[Dench57]

decent amount of game

uhoh

 

[hairblues]

Say, say, say. Heard, heard, heard.

Watch what people do, not what (BS) they say.

If someone does not do well on Tinder, they will not do better in real life.

I don't see why they would actually do better.

Because for 'you' you would not do better in real life.

So you cannot possibly get it.

 

[hairblues]

So first question what are we talking about with efficient ? Quantity or quality ? There is a difference.

To meet many women for a quick f*** - tinder is hard to beat though really if you are up for hitting bars on a friday\saturday night and have a decent amount of game .... you shouldn't have too many issues in that department. You could argue its actually more efficient at bars then spending time texting a dozen women during the week. If thats what you are after - bald guys might have a slight disadvantage but can still get some with out too many issues. If you can't do this I suggest you stop blaming hair and spend more time on your personality and pickup process. I've seen many who have no problem.

Alternatively if you want to meet and seriously date a high quality woman - which for me involves looks - but also much more then just that (something I perhaps had to learn the hard way - ) - then tinder shouldn't really be your first option. My advice is the best way to meet high quality women I would actually want to date long term is not quite as direct or easy as tinder. It is simply be an active, social, successful person, who is fun to be around, good with people - both men and women. When you have this making friends, networking, meeting and attracting women in real life is not an issue.These things I've just mentioned are all things high quality and usually good looking women are very attracted to for LTR partners. Its a package deal. If you can't meet women outside tinder - it says more about your attitude, approach, personality then your hairstyle. Fixing the hairstyle might get you a f*** - but if you don't spend time on the rest of it then its not going to take you very far.

Im 45 so i dont go clubbing but when i was in my 20s i can not TELL you how many man i was not initially interested in who charmed me in clubs..It was like 'nah' and within a few minutes had me laughing and dancing etc...and i dont drink i am not a drinker so its not that they got me 'drunk'

I dont know i am from NYC and Miami so maybe men here are different they are not intimidated to go put to women regardless of their looks..they got game they got street cred and confidence. Does it work with all women all the time? NO but i can not tell you how many unattractive looking men get really great looking women in NY and Miami believe it or not.

if a man can only use dating apps to pick up women--then yes he HAS to be good looking OR it has to be a dating site that is not solely based on looks.

 

[hairblues]

First problem: you don't talk to people you don't know in my culture (Belgium/Europe).

Try to do so and you'll get ejected from the bar by the bouncer.

You can try the dancefloor, that's allowed. But the music is loud so no talking is aloud, so impossible to spit your 'tight game'.

I've had success on the dancefloor too, but not one word was uttered. Therefore, like on Tinder, these experiences actually confirm that looks are almost everything in the dating game. Looks and actually making a move.

Dancefloor and Tinder, similar struggles for me, I have to scan my surroundings for an insane amount of time before I finally lock eyes with a girl who likes my looks. Just like I need to play the numbers game hard on Tinder to get two or three dates every week.

I'm sure I would not 'struggle' so much if I had a full head of hair.

"It is simply be an active, social, successful person, who is fun to be around, good with people - both men and women. When you have this making friends, networking, meeting and attracting women in real life is not an issue. These things I've just mentioned are all things high quality and usually good looking women are very attracted to. Its a package deal. If you can't meet women outside tinder - it says more about your attitude, approach, personality then your hairstyle."

Really?! That's your advice? How can you not see that this is vague as f***? This would not help anyone.

"Just be you know, cool, open, talk to people, be social, and you'll succeed!"

LOL



I'm not confined to online dating.

I've pulled girls in real life, and surprisingly, they were not any different from the girls I got from online.

Same quality, same education level, same social class...

Online dating is just so much more efficient.

No need to go out, get drunk, dance (when you hate it like me), pretend to have fun, going through a hangover, etc.

Exactly YOU struggle you dont like to dance you dont enjoy it--so its not for you. So a guy who does enjoy it genuinely has a good time do it will have better opportunity to charm a woman

You sound like you dont make a move unless you know your not going to be rejected (although i am sure your still rejected by some) it sounds like you wait until you catch their eye and think they are into you.

You dont take chances--maybe you have and its been rejection and you can't deal with the rejection so you go the route that is indeed working for you--which is great.

But to say its this universal 'way' that only works this 'way' is what is bullshit and what is you 'coping'.

Its safe for you to do it the way your doing it..efficent yes and safe.

Its working for you dont stop--but please stop telling people its a universal system.

 

[hairblues]

You were attracted to them from the start, you just were not aware of it.

Yes, I have an answer to everything. Seriously though, that's a serious and plausible explanation.

You'd have us believe that you saw Danny DeVito on the dancefloor and were like "Eeew no!"

Then he performed some tricks and you were like: "Oh my god, I hope he doesn't leave without me!"

Kids, don't believe that nonsense, and keep on treating your baldness.



That does not exist but you seem pretty confident in your ideas, so why not create such a website?

No pictures, just the guy's resume, a description of his personality and interests... I'm sure it would be a huge success.

Of course not Danny Devito now your being silly and purposefully trying to discredit what i say because you can't make you point legitimate.

I am talking average Danny Devito is not average he has some form of drafism. He's less than 5 feet tall.

If Danny Devito young did not have a drafism and was normal height of like 5/10 and decent body--his face was not bad when he was young.

 

[hairblues]

That does not exist but you seem pretty confident in your ideas, so why not create such a website?

No pictures, just the guy's resume, a description of his personality and interests... I'm sure it would be a huge success.

I said not 'solely' based on looks

I have POF--i narrow it down based on things i am looking for i pre screen searches based on religion, education, politics and fitness level.

So if someone is uneducated, fat, christian right wing etc i screen them out of my searches.

I never got impression Tinder was like this it always sounds l ike its just 'looks' swipe right/left without reading profiles. Correct? Perhaps i am mistaken.

 

[tellersquill]

Exactly YOU struggle you dont like to dance you dont enjoy it--so its not for you. So a guy who does enjoy it genuinely has a good time do it will have better opportunity to charm a woman

You sound like you dont make a move unless you know your not going to be rejected (although i am sure your still rejected by some) it sounds like you wait until you catch their eye and think they are into you.

You dont take chances--maybe you have and its been rejection and you can't deal with the rejection so you go the route that is indeed working for you--which is great.

But to say its this universal 'way' that only works this 'way' is what is bullshit and what is you 'coping'.

Its safe for you to do it the way your doing it..efficent yes and safe.

Its working for you dont stop--but please stop telling people its a universal system.

Haha this is why I don't approach real people on the streets and in bars!

I was rejected a handful of times and I'm pretty sensitive so I stopped doing it because it made me feel bad about myself.

Using tinder was a game changer as I finally had a chance to meet people who actually liked me

 

[AngrySam]

First problem: you don't talk to people you don't know in my culture (Belgium/Europe). Try to do so and you'll get ejected from the bar by the bouncer.

I actually live in Germany - considered less likely to speak to strangers then Belgians.. As for not talking to people you don't know. Absolute BS. That's only the case if your not doing it right. When I first moved here I had recently come out of a divorce so was not looking for anything serious and definitely spreading my wings so to speak. European women and bar scene have been very good to me You just need to know how to do it. Don't go to dance clubs to pick up girls - yes sure people like dance music but single girls go to different bars when they are looking to meet guys.

Dancefloor and Tinder, similar struggles for me, I have to scan my surroundings for an insane amount of time before I finally lock eyes with a girl who likes my looks. Just like I need to play the numbers game hard on Tinder to get two or three dates every week.

Like I said dance floor is not the best spot unless your pick up process is what I call "trawling". Essentially getting drunk - sticking out the cast net - and scanning the area and seeing what drunk girls you can haul in. You are still playing the "looks" game. You want to have more then just looks for a girl to judge you on which is why you generally want to be at a bar rather then a dance club. The best way to attract people to you is by having a good time. Being outgoing, friendly funny. With everyone - not just the girl you want to pickup. Be with a group of friends. Preferrably have women with your group who act as wing girls and can indirectly bring other women into the conversation. One of my best friends here in Germany is a girl who has got me laid probably a dozen times. See how being social helps ? Be out going and start conversations with anyone - men, women who cares. Be fun and flirty. When you are clearly a point of positive energy in a room and having fun - attractive women gravitate to you. It just happens.

Men with the "alpha" mindset look at picking up women like a dog attacking a piece of meat. There is subtley and art to it. It should be fun. Direct is definitely not the best approach. Confident and outgoing is. Give the women a reason to want to meet you.

I'm sure I would not 'struggle' so much if I had a full head of hair.

Sounds like a piss weak excuse to fall back on and prevent you from having to lift your game and work on other areas of your personality. I want that to be direct and a bit harsh. You can wallow about it and blame your sh*t hair or you can f*****g man up and just be better then every other mofo who has hair

Really?! That's your advice? How can you not see that this is vague as f***? This would not help anyone.
"Just be you know, cool, open, talk to people, be social, and you'll succeed!"

Sometimes it really is that simple. I think I provided some additional clarity above on how you can try to apply this.

 

[tellersquill]

Tinder was a huge deal for me. I've found someone I enjoy slamming/talking to and don't want to do casual sex anymore, but honestly with a good transplant result I could easily smash a different 6/7 every week if my results with my current crap hair are anything to go by.

You could probably do that now. I know I could.

I used to go on two or three dates a week and get laid the majority of the time for a while. But it ended up becoming really depressing having meaningless sex. It got to the point where I thought - why don't I save 5 hours and £20 and just have a wank (the dates would cost a little bit for booze). If there was no emotional connection then the sex was pointless. It ended up making me depressed and I realised that I was seeking validation from women, because my logic was if they slept with me it meant I lovable.

Pretty fucked up I know.

I definitely think sleeping around is very over-rated (unless you are inexperienced or 21).