Tinder, Bumble, And Other Dating Sites.

[Afro_Vacancy]

Im sure it goes on with gay men too...men using men for money with sex involved

but doubt it goes on with lesbians.

once a man puts a value number on a woman by rating her (a 5 or a 7 or a 9) women are going to trade in for that value.

You all talk about women as if they have an expiration date--yet its annoying that they do what they can to cash in on those looks while they are still young enough to do it?

Its not the paying you guys are bothered by it's the lack of her 'value' compared to what she got..

as if he paid for a mercedes and got a Toyota.

but maybe for him she is a Mercedes.

its just really hypocritical and judgmental since you all seem to 'resent' the value system of beauty YET you are annoyed someone is using it to have a woman he deems worth it.

Maybe for him she is fore filling both a physical need and a psychological need.

One mans trash is another mans jewel.

Maybe his standards are not that high.

I don't walk around and see really gorgeous men or even average men with less attractive women i see a lot of the opposite in real life with men who have money.

I think if a man wants a woman for her 'hotness' and he cant get it on his own looks its at least honest for him to dip into his piggy bank to get someone out of his league.

I think PJ had from photos we have posted pretty high standards of beauty so when he says the woman is a '5' i don't know if she is really a '5' to most average or unattractive men...she may be a '7' ...

it's too much judging someones character based on looks.

every divorced person you talk to one of the parties or you are friends or family with one of the parties--the other person is automatically vile because we are looking through a biased perspective.

If men put up with beautiful women being shits because of the beauty they like--then the woman is just an object she is not longer a person...because her character does not matter only her casing or exterior.....then you guys get mad we live in a judgmental society?

it just reads weird.

You made so many points that I'm afraid of responding to it. There's no way I'm going to touch on everything you report.

First of all I don't think I talk much about women's expiry dates. Some posters here do but me personally I believe women can be hot deep into their 40s and 50s. Isabelle Huppert is 63 and she looked hot in Elle (which I saw a few weeks ago), might be the French diet helping her age gracefully. You're in your mid-40s and apparently lots of men find you hot.

I also acknowledged that pjhair may not have accurate perception of the relative looks of the parties involved.

I think the following is your main point:
Its not the paying you guys are bothered by it's the lack of her 'value' compared to what she got..

Yes I agree, I'm bothered by the value differential between men and women. Average women seemingly have more value, at least in my age group I can't speak for other age groups. That and the fact the opposite is claimed by popular media.

 

[hairblues]

This is mainly because there are a bunch of men playing the numbers game by batch swiping everyone and sending the same messages to anyone they get a match with. Tinder puts people who have already liked you at the front of the queue so if you don't know better and only swipe for a little while it seems like 9/10 are a match, however this is just you working through the list of people who have already liked you. If you swipe enough you run out of people who have already liked you and so the matches stop coming.


You said that this woman was well-educated, maybe she has qualities beyond her looks that make her more attractive to men? I know some people find this impossible to believe but there is such a thing as "charisma" for women and it can help them punch above their weight in looks. IIRC you are in the US where a significant portion of the population is overweight, putting a huge premium on women who are slender, which I assume this woman is since she's Asian. While I think the modern dating market is an awful place in general, and biased in favor of women, I don't think it is as dire as you make it sound. This example just seems to be an extreme manifestation of the underlying dynamics.

your posts are so refreshing

i think taking any emotion out of it and looking at the situation from a pragmatic position...He is 'valuing' her by saying the level of her beauty, her children, her age...she is a '5' from PJ perspective....

he is feeling emotions about this situation this '5' getting this man-her BF to pay for her family to come from another country..her sister etc....

the woman is educated and working full time.

What i hear from PJ is not really empathy for this man the subtext to me is resentment that this woman is valued by this man..and therefore setting the bar lower for other men by validating her or over valuing her market value.

i mean we can be talking about a car or house.

so when i read this as a human being not even as a woman---it makes me cringe because instead of it being a moral position of 'money for sex in any capacity is bad'--which is a concrete perspective that the 'white' polar bear has and we can debate it but it is at least an honest opinion.....

but this 'its bad to pay for women but REALLY bad if you pay for women not worth the value" is kind of really odd to me.

So a woman with two children educated and working full time getting money to bring over family is WORSE because she is a 5..then a woman who is single younger no kids still in college perhaps or not working but she is a 10 and money spent on her clothes and hair and makeup and spa treatments is somehow 'better" or more 'understandable'?

Does not compute to me.

 

[hairblues]

You made so many points that I'm afraid of responding to it. There's no way I'm going to touch on everything you report.

First of all I don't think I talk much about women's expiry dates. Some posters here do but me personally I believe women can be hot deep into their 40s and 50s. Isabelle Huppert is 63 and she looked hot in Elle (which I saw a few weeks ago), might be the French diet helping her age gracefully. You're in your mid-40s and apparently lots of men find you hot.

I think the following is your main point:
Its not the paying you guys are bothered by it's the lack of her 'value' compared to what she got..

Yes I agree, I'm bothered by the value differential between men and women. Average women seemingly have more value, at least in my age group I can't speak for other age groups. That and the fact the opposite is claimed by popular media.

No no the 'you' is not you personally its like a universal 'you of the forum...so i am sorry.

 

[pjhair]

lol of course it makes a difference

but depends on everything else. if your ugly, doesnt matter. bald, depends.

but this guy is good looking with hair but really skinny before, which isnt attractive. so of course its helped him.

I always thought it makes a difference but shook admitted a few days ago that it made no difference to him. So that got me confused.

 

[sunchyme1]

i am curious about skinny guys like this

what happens when they stop working out? does he stay fairly big but have the muscles go to fat? or will he eventually get skinny again?

 

[hairblues]

Y
I think the following is your main point:
Its not the paying you guys are bothered by it's the lack of her 'value' compared to what she got..

Yes I agree, I'm bothered by the value differential between men and women. Average women seemingly have more value, at least in my age group I can't speak for other age groups. That and the fact the opposite is claimed by popular media.

Yeah but we are going by one persons opinion of her value based on her age, her divorced status, her having 2 kids, and what he is deciding her looks value is...and i think its all subjective stuff.

i don't think you can judge what someone deems more valuable to another.

putting a monetary value on people period is wrong...ugly or hot.

and i think the thing that struck me with Pj post was it was so much about how this women was not 'worthy' of treatment based on her looks....

meanwhile the woman is working full time educated has two kids to feed and bringing over her family from another country.

she may be a dick--but bringing over her family is not a bad thing is it?

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Frame cope

Thanks for keeping the discussion reality-oriented.

I really miss weightlifting. I can start lifting again in mid-April once I'll be recovered from surgery. I plan on being lean by then and to build a body. I'm extremely unlikely to ever have a body like the guy on the right (which would make a difference with women), but I hopefully I can get to a point where I like what I see in the mirror.

 

[pjhair]

and i think the thing that struck me with Pj post was it was so much about how this women was not 'worthy' of treatment based on her looks....

meanwhile the woman is working full time educated has two kids to feed and bringing over her family from another country.

she may be a dick--but bringing over her family is not a bad thing is it?

Is that all you got out of my posts? Nothing about how these kind of examples portray a grim reality of dating life for men which is my real concern?

 

[Baldhurts]

View attachment 47598

i am curious about skinny guys like this

what happens when they stop working out? does he stay fairly big but have the muscles go to fat? or will he eventually get skinny again?

Depends if you are natty or not. When coming off cell tech some people lose some of their gains, some keep it.

 

[sunchyme1]

I always thought it makes a difference but shook admitted a few days ago that it made no difference to him. So that got me confused.

girls love guys with muscles. especially the older girls, real woman. but if your not good looking before hand it doesnt really make a difference.

basically if your a handsome f****r, your good either way. muscles or no muscles.

im good looking but going bald so i need to some f*****g muscles man to compensate. gotta hit the gym bro! kelly slater style

 

[Baldhurts]

girls love guys with muscles. especially the older girls, real woman. but if your not good looking before hand it doesnt really make a difference.

basically if your a handsome f****r, your good either way. muscles or no muscles.

im good looking but going bald so i need to some f*****g muscles man to compensate. gotta hit the gym bro! kelly slater style

A girl told me once she only notices the body and admires if the guy is hot/good looking in the first place. That's just one woman tho, one perspective

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Yeah but we are going by one persons opinion of her value based on her age, her divorced status, her having 2 kids, and what he is deciding her looks value is...and i think its all subjective stuff.

i don't think you can judge what someone deems more valuable to another.

putting a monetary value on people period is wrong...ugly or hot.

and i think the thing that struck me with Pj post was it was so much about how this women was not 'worthy' of treatment based on her looks....

meanwhile the woman is working full time educated has two kids to feed and bringing over her family from another country.

she may be a dick--but bringing over her family is not a bad thing is it?

I don't see an issue with a woman having kids. Above 30 it's common.

In the best case scenario it's a plus, as it may mean any kids I have with her will inherit an older sibling. That's a huge plus.

However, it may also mean that she no longer wants additional children in which case she's no good to me. Further, there's the catastrophic risk of developing an emotional attachment to the kid and the relationship ending.

I'm happy for the woman personally that's getting a great deal out of life (as far as we know). The general issue here is simply that women (in their 30s) get an easier time on the dating market. That's all, and that it's not portrayed in that manner.

The analogy to the situation pj posted would be a man leaving his wife of twenty years alone in order to be with a hot young blood, for example what Senator John McCain did to his first wife. That really sucks too. It's awful. But society is aware of it and makes no BS about it.

 

[hairblues]

Is that all you got out of my posts? Nothing about how these kind of examples portray a grim reality of dating life for men which is my real concern?

i think dating for both men an women can be hell if not attractive.

i don't see a lot of good looking men with less attractive women.

i see either looks matched or i see men with money with younger hotter women which is not always amoral

i am beginning to wonder if you are underestimating women on your scale and over valuing mens looks.

maybe what yo think of as a '5' is not really a '5' for this guy.

its so subjective.

i think women do this too..over estimate the looks of women compared to men.

if you are a decent looking guy you can get a decent looking girl...

if you are unattractive guy your not going to get an attractive girl.

its just reality..

are there exceptions? of course not everyone is all about looks...but if a man wants to find a woman or a woman wants to fine a man out of there league who is 'willing' to consider a less attractive person---thats like next to impossible..thats just luck.

 

[CopeForLife]

gymcel subhumans:

let's change topic pls, that gym related discussions are boring as f***

 

[sunchyme1]

Depends if you are natty or not. When coming off cell tech some people lose some of their gains, some keep it.

ryan reynolds has got pretty big over the years, but always seems to slim down back to natural physique when not lifting.

no fat gain.

 

[pjhair]

i think dating for both men an women can be hell if not attractive.

i don't see a lot of good looking men with less attractive women.

i see either looks matched or i see men with money with younger hotter women which is not always amoral

.

I am not sure where you live but in Dallas you get to see various good looking men with average to ugly women. Also, are you not aware of trends in online dating where average women can get more dates than she can handle within a few hours while guys spend weeks and even months without finding anything?

 

[sunchyme1]

gymcel subhumans:

let's change topic pls, that gym related discussions are boring as f***

lol same two pics posted before

first guy just hasnt worked out properly. needs to shape his body better. just looks weird here

second guy is ugly. doesnt matter about body. stick a good looking guy on top of that body and he looks good

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Isn't he too muscular? IMO he is.

He's too big, but I don't want to be to specific. To be honest I'm not even sure what kind of body I can achieve. My entire adult life I could not maintain a healthy weight until I discovered intermittent fasting.

 

[Baldhurts]

gymcel subhumans:

let's change topic pls, that gym related discussions are boring as f***

Genes are a b**ch. Huge waist... one thing I'm grateful for is my waist is 29 in my best shape.


Guy I attached has a very aesthetic physique. Tiny waist.

 

[pjhair]

But isn't it because men want to f*** everything? hihihi

Not all men. I am picky about who I want to f*** .