RIDICULE

[seb]

Myself and U.Man are two of the few fully bald men on this forum. Two men of simliar heights/body composition, attitude, 5000miles apart, who both endure mocking and scorn. Now, most cannot believe this, and state we are both paranoid. I have thought long and hard as to why I(and u.man) attract so much disdain. My consensus is, that it is largely due to having facial hair, which along with the bulbous, pasty dome we parade, it is too much for people to process. Facial hair(certainly grown out) is seen by the majority of society as repulsive. This combined with the loathment of baldness, is the main reason U.Man and I cant go anywhere without people laughing. Now what do we do? Have a shave? Well, I have been told numerous times that I dont suit being clean shaven, nor do I suit a full beard, hence wearing a goatee. The scorn thrust upon me for having a goatee is crazy. Too short, and because I am so fair, it is not very visible, too long(like I have it now), and it is seen as too much.....I am reluctant in going down the "designer" stubble route, as I dont think fair haired men look particularly good with stubble, and it also means I am bowing down to social protocol.
Ignore people I hear posters such a Dannyboy cry, and grow a pair, man-up etc. Ok, good point, but how long and how much does one have to endure before it all gets too much to handle.....

 

[DannyBoyy]

There is def paranoia gong on here no one is saying that they dont get picked on etc cause that is stupid im sure most here were picked on for many different reasons even before hairloss...but you got to man up im sure there is people who DO like you spend time with them or just keep busy doing a hobby etc i know how it feels to be overwhelmed by bullies etc i been there but once they knew i didnt give a **** no more they gave up...they are tossers who probably have **** going on in their lifes so they take it out on others you got do what YOU want to do want a beard have a beard want wear certain clothes then wear them etc...nothing beats a guy who is confident and does his own thing while ignoring the haters.

 

[Primo]

No doubt about it, Seb and Ucman do get insults and discrimination thrown there way from time to time and its important not to trivialise their problems and negative experience so I do sympathise with them on this....but do I think the discrimination is so relentless and frequent that it warrants becoming a misanthropic hermit.... Personally no, I think paranoia, delusions and social anxiety do play a part in exacerbating how they feel, however as Ucman points out this paranoia may be a by product of being targeted repeatedly over 10+ years of being fully bald, so again it's important to respect their individual experiences.

There are plenty of a$$holes and sociopaths who will test you from time to time, always the usual insecure guys, but it is my personal belief and my personal experience that if you are a confident, happy, friendly guy, the overwhelming majority of people will respect you and not try to test or mock you in public, most guys (who aren't insecure) admire confident males, especially guys who are confident despite not having everything on a plate for them i.e. looks, wealth, great career etc.

As Larry says "a bald man with confidence is your diamond in the rough right there"

Ok guys sorry, I'm afraid i don't qualify for the HairLossTalk.com nw5+ pissing contest yet, but I am still a nw3, a frontally diffusing and receding NW3, my whole circle of friends are not blind, they can clearly see I'm losing it, while all of them remain full heads, yet the only guy who has repeatedly given me hairloss jibes over the last 2 years has been this same loud, obnoxious 5ft 5 full head douche, hmmm I wonder why?...Shorty is plain insecure that's why, he insults everyone, but with me targets my hair specifically because he recognises I'm a confident, comfortable guy around my friends and wants me to feel shifty and insecure like him, I just laugh it all off and brush him away every time because it so obvious all he wants is an angry, bitter reaction, which I'm never going to give him, even if I do give him the odd counter insult back. I can't be seen in public to be caring about people like this, it only lowers my social value if I get all angry and raging.

I have lots of friends who are better looking than me, taller than me, have more hair than me and have better jobs then me, but I still never get any stink off them, they respect and value me for the confident, friendly fun guy I am and the fact that I don't let any of my perceived shortcomings hold me back socially.

I'm firmly of the belief that we must make the very best of this bad situation and enjoy our lives to the full in whatever way possible before we're too old and too full of regret and bitterness to change.

 

[Deadman1]

I have lots of friends who are better looking than me, taller than me, have more hair than me and have better jobs then me, but I still never get any stink off them, they respect and value me for the confident, friendly fun guy I am and the fact that I don't let any of my perceived shortcomings hold me back socially.

You forgot to mention, better girls than you.

This isn't directed at you but to all bald guys - Just because they don't ridicule you to your face doesn't mean they don't do it.

I'm firmly of the belief that we must make the very best of this bad situation and enjoy our lives to the full in whatever way possible before we're too old and too full of regret and bitterness to change.

For many this means staying in their house and out of the eye of society.

 

[DannyBoyy]

You forgot to mention, better girls than you.

This isn't directed at you but to all bald guys - Just because they don't ridicule you to your face doesn't mean they don't do it.


For many this means staying in their house and out of the eye of society.

Maybe they do ridicule without doing it to you face but how much do you think that happens regardless to you having hair or not you cant think like that...it happens the times i heard people b**ch about others is just stupid its just life.

 

[CaptainForehead]

I have thought long and hard as to why I(and u.man) attract so much disdain. My consensus is, that it is largely due to having facial hair, which along with the bulbous, pasty dome we parade, it is too much for people to process.

Being brutally honest here, my conjecture is that the reason you two get ridiculed is because of the circles you keep. In a reasonably educated circle, it is not an issue. Noone has given me a hard time about hairloss, and I have facial hair too. And I look way worse than UCman.

 

[Skullator]

You always hear about how it doesnt matter, just be confident, etc. Unfortunately it is impossible to suddenly decide one day to BE confident. All you can really do is try to ACT confident. And if you really arent confident, its a difficult and stressful thing to try to fake.

There are no easy answers. People suck. Hope things get better OP. Maybe try tanning and shaving the goat off? I dont know, it might be worth a shot.

 

[DannyBoyy]

You always hear about how it doesnt matter, just be confident, etc. Unfortunately it is impossible to suddenly decide one day to BE confident. All you can really do is try to ACT confident. And if you really arent confident, its a difficult and stressful thing to try to fake.

There are no easy answers. People suck. Hope things get better OP. Maybe try tanning and shaving the goat off? I dont know, it might be worth a shot.

Never impossible dude i was like that not confident and that was WITH hair as in not balding etc it takes time unless you already are confident obviously...when you finally get to that point you feel great i know i do.

 

[DoctorHouse]

Very good post Primo. I like your attitude. You will definitely get far in life. Your becoming one of my favorite posters on here. I am sure the PUAhaters love you avatar.

 

[uncomfortable man]

I think the ridicule comes from people being brainwashed combined with an overall increase of general apathy. Not everyone is like this, however from the particular vantage point of a bald man it is easy to spot the ones who are prejudice. You can see it in the standoffish mannerisms of their body language and read it all over their face. Some are bad at hiding their hate while others manage to remain civil to your face. The disapproving looks I get when bare I know aren't just for me. I've seen other bald men get the treatment as well. I think skullator said it best with PEOPLE SUCK and leave it at that.

 

[Deadman1]

I think skullator said it best with PEOPLE SUCK and leave it at that.

I agree. People wonder why I have no friends or am so standoffish at wok. It is exactly for this reason. As soon as you let them in, they start with the insults and ridicule. I dislike people for this reason and that's why I keep them at arms length.

 

[DannyBoyy]

The solutions everyone is discussing are something you should have realized in your formative years, but unfortunately i guess western culture sort of stifles any personal growth. It's all about competition and the requirement to be somebody you're not, so now you dont even know who you are when you turn 30.

True in away they should of learned that people can be b****s thats one thing school learned me at a very young age why i dont give a damn now.

 

[Primo]

You forgot to mention, better girls than you.

Awww no need to take out that bitter "incel" rage on me "Deadman1", just because you can't decent girls doesn't mean no bald/balding guys can, but hey if you think staying in your house 24/7 is gonna further your chances there and more importantly your happiness and general quality of life, then go for it.

Sorry to dissapoint, but my friends fail at getting better girls than me the vast majority of the time, which frustrates me as i've known some of these guys since school and know that if they really put their back into it they could do very well indeed and while they do naturally make better first impressions than me thanks to aesthetic advantage, they are simply too lazy to put the extra work in with the better looking girls and instead enjoy sitting on the fence, being lazy and just picking up whatever average looking girl they can get, as long as it's easy and doesn't involve too much effort or heavy conversation... Anything that involves a bit of ingenuity, humour and hard work is just too much for them.. this tends to be most girls above average 6 in looks... yes I know, the grass always looks greener on the other side, but what they possess in looks, the make up for in laziness and general apathy with girls.

Also, I couldn't care less if people ridicule me behind my back, though I'd say with this particular group of friends it's very unlikely, people in general will ridicule others behind their back for the most random, pedantic and pettiest of things... best not to be so insecure and waste your time worrying about what other insignificant people think... now deliberate, public ridicule to your face designed for the purposes of public humiliation is a very different thing all together...

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You always hear about how it doesnt matter, just be confident, etc. Unfortunately it is impossible to suddenly decide one day to BE confident. All you can really do is try to ACT confident. And if you really arent confident, its a difficult and stressful thing to try to fake.

I agree, that is putting on a fake persona and you can only put that kind of act on for so long before it gets tiresome and too much. For me the confidence simply comes naturally if I'm doing well in other areas of my life work/social, I'm just able to be myself around people naturally without the usual social inhibitions... now in times when I'm not doing so well with my work or I've been a social hermit for the last 2 months due to work commitments, I admit I find it impossible to be naturally "confident" because I'm completely out of the loop and to try would be faking it, which is why I simply can't understand this whole staying in the house and becoming a misanthrope idea?... what better way to sabotage the remaining shreds of confidence and self esteem you do have left? Utterly depressing and a totally uneccessary, self inflicted punishment.

 

[seb]

Yes, it seems the general consensus is that I am a delusional, paronoid, highly strung man with a severe personality disorder.....perhaps I have.

 

[broadcaster]

Facial hair is a great asset if you're balding!!! What are you talking about!?

 

[DannyBoyy]

Facial hair is a great asset if you're balding!!! What are you talking about!?

It is indeed but i would have a beard regardless.

 

[seb]

Broadcaster-Firstly, I am bald, not balding. Secondly, my facial hair is ginger and blond(which is seen as inferior, to black/brown, like youres). Thirdly, I have a goatee, not full beard. Tried a full beard, and got more flak than the goatee.
Been crucified for a having a short goatee, where, because I am so fair it wasnt very visible. Now I have grown it longer, thus it is more "prominent", I get crap for it. Facial hair on a bald man in the uk is seen largely as a joke.

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Oh, and fourthly, I am extremely pale and pasty ie freckles, white, invisible eyebrows. And finally, I have a weak chin, small mouth, and a poor jaw-line.....hence the goatee.

 

[DannyBoyy]

Broadcaster-Firstly, I am bald, not balding. Secondly, my facial hair is ginger and blond(which is seen as inferior, to black/brown, like youres). Thirdly, I have a goatee, not full beard. Tried a full beard, and got more flak than the goatee.
Been crucified for a having a short goatee, where, because I am so fair it wasnt very visible. Now I have grown it longer, thus it is more "prominent", I get crap for it. Facial hair on a bald man in the uk is seen largely as a joke.

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Oh, and fourthly, I am extremely pale and pasty ie freckles, white, invisible eyebrows. And finally, I have a weak chin, small mouth, and a poor jaw-line.....hence the goatee.

Facial hair on a bald bloke is not seen as a joke yeah some probably take the mick (happens regardless what you look like) but still where you get these "facts" from? its common very common to see a bald guy with some form of facial hair specially a goatee they sometimes seen as bikers...well at my "neck of the woods" they are.


And again you really not gonna have a beard cause some took the mick? IF yes then...wow just wow.

 

[Thom]

The people that do make fun of usually don't understand how it can sting. I remember years ago before I started losing hair I was at a party with a couple friends. One of these friends is a bald guy who is absolutely hilarious, books all the major parts in the local acting scene, and has no problem getting women despite being overweight and bald. Anyway, the other friend made a bald joke once and the atmosphere changed completely with the bald guy saying "that's not f-ing cool man." I remember us being dumbfounded as to how it actually hurt him. Among ourselves we were saying stuff like " he's obviously bald so why did he get so upset?" It didn't register with us at all.

Then my crown started thinning and friends were merciless about it and the idea plagued me all of the time. My point is, these guys that mess with you usually don't understand how much effect their words have on others.

 

[ghg]

Broadcaster-Firstly, I am bald, not balding. Secondly, my facial hair is ginger and blond(which is seen as inferior, to black/brown, like youres). Thirdly, I have a goatee, not full beard. Tried a full beard, and got more flak than the goatee.
Been crucified for a having a short goatee, where, because I am so fair it wasnt very visible. Now I have grown it longer, thus it is more "prominent", I get crap for it. Facial hair on a bald man in the uk is seen largely as a joke.

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Oh, and fourthly, I am extremely pale and pasty ie freckles, white, invisible eyebrows. And finally, I have a weak chin, small mouth, and a poor jaw-line.....hence the goatee.

Seen as inferior? By who? What the hell are you talking about?