OKCupid Chat: Girl Considers Dumping Balding Boyfriend

[Obsidian]

I tried to read all this thread, but it got boring and quite sad, in a depressing way.

Its sad, that a few comments on the net will make people feel so put in their place.

The world is really not reflective of this.

We all know hairloss is deterimental to looks, to some degree.

However, proper happiness in life is based on deeper elements other than how we look.

If you love someone, or vice versa, then it is deeper then how we look.

For me personally - since Ive stopped caring so much about how I look, Ive become more open minded about women I go for. If I really like a girl and shes slightly overwieght, or even if she only has one leg, it doesnt matter. I am attracted to her overall. Attraction isnt only for hollywood 9's, its for everyone.

I repeat - love yourself for what you are, and the world around you will change. You need to be more open minded. Im not saying being bald means we have to go for fat girls only or ugly girls, not at all. But I find, the naturally, the less you care about your own faults, the less you care about others. Its kind of cool in a way.

Im not saying you shouldnt chase the 9's etc. But once you care less about your external features, then you will care less about other peoples external features. And in my opinion, you are more enlightened.

I totally agree with everything you just said but unfortunately the world isn't like that especially if you are short of cash,average in terms of looks and losing "it",you are bound to come across more people who judge you for what you are and not who you are.

Anyway it is important to stay positive and be comfortable in your own skin which will take time to get used to for many of us.

I am not saying that there aren't genuine people out there but the superficial ones outnumber them a 1000 to 1.

Agree with MPBSUX. While going bald has humbled me and has made me more accepting of others visual flaws, it doesn't help the fact that most other people are shallow and don't view me with the same forgiving nature.

I don't even know where to begin with that statement.

Most people are not shallow, some are, I agree. But most people realize the error of their ways, it's called be human.

You said you have a job right, U-Man? Maybe you consider seeing a psychologist again.

 

[theShade]

I personally didn't judge people on their appearance either before or after hairloss started. Couldn't give a sh*t. Of course I was only attracted to girls who looked good - but in terms of friends, talking to & hanging out with people, etc... I can't say good looks were ever important.

Knew some bald people too. It never even occured to me to treat them differently for it; hell I didn't know anything about baldness back then, as far as I was concerned they were likely bald by choice or whatever.

 

[Norwood]

Imagine if it were a guy saying "I'm just not attracted to my girlfriend anymore after she had a double mastectomy. Should I break up with her?"

 

[shookwun]

Hair is 50% of your attractiveness.
:agree:

 

[EvilLocks]

Hair is 50% of your attractiveness.
:agree:

It really is, if not more. It'll take you from a 10 to a 5 or below just like that...

 

[CaptainForehead]

It really is, if not more. It'll take you from a 10 to a 5 or below just like that...

Not for a woman.

 

[Joan]

Not for a woman.

Are you saying a noticeably bald woman who was previously a 10 would be higher or lower than a 5 (not taking her body into account)?

 

[wakka12]

Are you saying a noticeably bald woman who was previously a 10 would be higher or lower than a 5 (not taking her body into account)?

A woman can easily wear a wig and even if it obvious to the dog on the street that its a wig it wont hurt her levels of attractiveness. Lots of non bald women wear them as fashion accessories.
Men need perfect legit looking wigs just to not be mocked.
So unfair

 

[Joan]

It really is, if not more. It'll take you from a 10 to a 5 or below just like that...

I don't think a guy who's a true 10 would go down five points due to baldness. A perfect face is a perfect face, and it will still be perfect without hair. I would say that he won't stand out as much as he did previously, though.

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A woman can easily wear a wig and even if it obvious to the dog on the street that its a wig it wont hurt her levels of attractiveness. Lots of non bald women wear them as fashion accessories.
Men need perfect legit looking wigs just to not be mocked.
So unfair

I am talking about a woman who chooses not to wear a wig. Of course she'll still be a 10 with a wig. A guy (I understand men do get mocked for wearing hair, unlike women) wearing a top-of-the-line toupee will still be a 10 too.

 

[CaptainForehead]

I am talking about a woman who chooses not to wear a wig. Of course she'll still be a 10 with a wig. A guy (I understand men do get mocked for wearing hair, unlike women) wearing a top-of-the-line toupee will still be a 10 too.

The problem with guys wearing wigs is that wigs will destroy a man's psyche over time due to the constant fear of being found out. I don't think you can understand that.

 

[Joan]

The problem with guys wearing wigs is that wigs will destroy a man's psyche over time due to the constant fear of being found out. I don't think you can understand that.

I said I understood that men will get mocked, unlike women. We will get sympathy; unfairly, you will not. My question to you was whether you thought a woman's looks would be downgraded more or less than a man's if she chooses to walk around with a noticeably bald head. I'm asking because I'm freaking out about my hair loss and wondering how I'll be perceived. The thought of wearing an uncomfortable wig for the rest of my life has me in a panic. Maybe I can get away with really thin hair and still be considered ok looking. That's where I was going with this.

 

[CaptainForehead]

I said I understood that men will get mocked, unlike women. We will get sympathy; unfairly, you will not. My question to you was whether you thought a woman's looks would be downgraded more or less than a man's if she chooses to walk around with a noticeably bald head. I'm asking because I'm freaking out about my hair loss and wondering how I'll be perceived.

You plan on going to bars and hitting on men?

Our perception of yours: it depends on the situation. If we can only see your face, then the impact will be bigger. If we can see the whole you, the impact won't be as much (as you have the figure of a woman in her early 30s). Plus, men are more mellow anyways. I don't think you need be afraid of what men will think. The reaction of women on the other hand, yeah ... seeing as how the women of your age have long let themselves go, they might take vindictive pleasure in putting you down because of your hairloss. I think the same applies to EvilLocks as she has a hot body.

 

[Joan]

You plan on going to bars and hitting on men?

Our perception of yours: it depends on the situation. If we can only see your face, then the impact will be bigger. If we can see the whole you, the impact won't be as much (as you have the figure of a woman in her early 30s). Plus, men are more mellow anyways. I don't think you need be afraid of what men will think. The reaction of women on the other hand, yeah ... seeing as how the women of your age have long let themselves go, they might take vindictive pleasure in putting you down because of your hairloss. I think the same applies to EvilLocks as she has a hot body.

No bars for me. Been there, done that, although very little. I'm in the public for a short time every day, so I'm wondering how those with whom I interact or passersby will think I look. Being in the elements will make it difficult to wear hair for sure, and my scalp is way too oily for anything bonded.

Thank you for the compliment. If I get brave, I'll send you the face. I have no girlfriends. Actually, my husband and I are always together and rarely socialize. I'm lucky that he doesn't mind that I have coffee with a couple of guys I know from time to time. I love how we talk freely with each other about anything and everything. Women who are insecure about themselves do tend to be vindictive, as you've said.

 

[EvilLocks]

Being in the elements will make it difficult to wear hair for sure, and my scalp is way too oily for anything bonded

You could try spironolactone, it really helped me with the excess oil on my skin/in my hair. Sadly it did nothing for hair growth/slowing of my hair loss.

 

[shookwun]

a large portion of a womens beauty is from her hip:waist ratio. So in essence the body is most important to us men! Just a little male perspective.


But facially speaking I think a women's most important features are her cheeks and hair. beautiful hair, and full cheeks are what make women feminine IMO


When a man seeks a women is primary motive for offspring is like I said hip:waist, and full breasts. As long as the face is semi-pretty ...then body >

 

[Exodus2011]

throw in all the white knights and how men will **** anything and its lookin pretty good for female hair loss sufferers lol

i can't deny though that if the hair loss is bad it will look shocking. hair is important for female attractiveness

 

[Joan]

a large portion of a womens beauty is from her hip:waist ratio. So in essence the body is most important to us men! Just a little male perspective.


But facially speaking I think a women's most important features are her cheeks and hair. beautiful hair, and full cheeks are what make women feminine IMO


When a man seeks a women is primary motive for offspring is like I said hip:waist, and full breasts. As long as the face is semi-pretty ...then body >

It seems some men would prefer a beautiful face with an average body to the opposite if both can't be had. If I had only enough money to get work done on either my face or body, I'd do my face. That's more important to me. I've always felt that way about guys I dated too. The body, as long as it wasn't fat, meant little to me.

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throw in all the white knights and how men will **** anything and its lookin pretty good for female hair loss sufferers lol

i can't deny though that if the hair loss is bad it will look shocking. hair is important for female attractiveness

But will guys want a lasting relationship with a balding woman? I know you wouldn't mind, Exodus, because you said that before. That was really sweet too.

 

[Exodus2011]

i could see some white knight types wanting a relationship. but they're prolly low quality guys overall, ugly, weird, ethnic, etc

 

[Joan]

i could see some white knight types wanting a relationship. but they're prolly low quality guys overall, ugly, weird, ethnic, etc

I hope you're excluding yourself from that description.

 

[Exodus2011]

actually i would go under that description. maybe not ugly but a bit below average. also not a white knight lol.