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collegechemistrystudent said:
i got overweight this past summer. it had nothing to do with it i'm pretty sure because i even asked her if she wanted me to lose weight and that i would if she wanted me to. now if she wanted me to, don't you think she would have said so? i knew i was overweight and said i'd gladly do it for her and she said that she thought i looked great. and this does not compute because she was thin since april and dumped me in december, 8 months later.
i was 150 pounds with an almost six pack when i started dating her
sounds like she was greatful, but it can only last so long. You gave her 4 months, and she returned you 8, though I'm sure you were further above her those 4 months than she was above you during the 8. Also your face could have helped.
As for asking her that, of course she will say she does not care. She can still be affraid you will hold it against you. People will rarely tell you the truth about what is bothering them. They will make up excuses, or point out smaller flaws that they don't think will bother you as much. They leave before they tell. That is why if you don't want to get dumped, you have to use common sense about what people want, and maintain yourself before hand instead of asking them if her if she wants you to lose weight. Of course she'd love it if you lost weight. She won't tell you that she will break up with you if you don't, just because you ask.
As for asking her that, of course she will say she does not care. She can still be affraid you will hold it against you. People will rarely tell you the truth about what is bothering them. They will make up excuses, or point out smaller flaws that they don't think will bother you as much. They leave before they tell. That is why if you don't want to get dumped, you have to use common sense about what people want, and maintain yourself before hand instead of asking them if her if she wants you to lose weight. Of course she'd love it if you lost weight. She won't tell you that she will break up with you if you don't, just because you ask.
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no she was heavy for 7 months. ccs, she didn't leave me cause i was fat. not everything is physical. get it into your head
JayMan said:
it may be true that non-physical reasons were the main force here, but the 7 months data does not hurt my case: You met her when she was fat and you were in shape. 4 months later, you got fat, and asked her if you should lose it. She said no. then 3 months after that, she lost weight. She was then thin and you fat for 5 months. Also some time near when she lost weight, you started losing your hair.
I'm not saying the looks did it. There could be many things at play here. I'm just saying the timing fits.
I think she dated him because he was hot. then he got fat. she probably did not have any better offers, so she stayed, hoping he'd slim up. No way would she tell him he had to slim up. She knew he could do it, and hoped if she "loved him unconditionally", he'd stay with her when he shaped up. But he did not. She shaped up, but not all the way. Not as good as he was before. She still hoped, but did not want to push. Probably never had a boyfriend as hot as him before, and had low self confidence, and did not want to rock the boat. But after another 4 months of her being in decent shape and he being at 180, she finally left, and did not tell him why. Why spell it out and ruin the romance? Maybe he'll slim up some day and she can later tell him she was confused back then and wants him back now, and that the break up had nothing to do with appearance.
Judging by the timing of the flip flops, I'd say they both came out even as far as favors go. A lot of relationships are like that. Partners know the other can go back, and people trade debt and favors back and forth over the months. People's appearance naturally oscillates. As long as the diferences don't stay too one sided too long, it is all chalked up to unconditional love. But when someone gets fat and stays fat for 8 months, and loses his hair, and the other partner gets in shape, she stays with him till the debt is paid and she gives up on waiting, then leaves.
You're not pissed off at what I wrote, are you Jayman? I thought you said you wished you could be pissed at her, or you wish you could think she was ugly, or something like that.
Judging by the timing of the flip flops, I'd say they both came out even as far as favors go. A lot of relationships are like that. Partners know the other can go back, and people trade debt and favors back and forth over the months. People's appearance naturally oscillates. As long as the diferences don't stay too one sided too long, it is all chalked up to unconditional love. But when someone gets fat and stays fat for 8 months, and loses his hair, and the other partner gets in shape, she stays with him till the debt is paid and she gives up on waiting, then leaves.
You're not pissed off at what I wrote, are you Jayman? I thought you said you wished you could be pissed at her, or you wish you could think she was ugly, or something like that.
I try so hard to get a rise out of him, and still no response. Oh well, I'll stop hijacking his thread. There is some truth to what I said, but there are many other factors at play. When people are close in attractiveness, and know they can choose from other equals, they can be pickier about other personal stuff.
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collegechemistrystudent said:
It doesn't get a rise out of me
As I said, I wouldn't care if she dropped dead tomorrow. It doesn't upset me that you thinks she dumped me because I got fat. I was still hotter than her even when I was fat, and the guy she is with now is only like a 6 on the CCS scale.
What makes me wonder though is how you can think that everything revolves so much around physical attractiveness. She dated me because I was a nice guy and we had a lot in common.
It also makes me wonder why you are so determined to get a rise out of me? Is it because I get a rise out of you with my comments about your sexscapades or lack thereof?
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collegechemistrystudent said:
And this is just ridiculous haha. The guy she's with now is losing his as well and she honestly doesn't care. She didn't care when I told her and when I buzzed my head last year she thought it looked sexy. Give it up.
DammitLetMeIn
Experienced Member
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hows the weight loss going?
pologuy514
Established Member
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Jayman I think its cool you care about your weight . . there are so many people that should but they have no new years resolutions to do so. Keep it up man!
-Pologuy
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DammitLetMeIn said:
162. ive been slackin a bit lately. no weight gain, just slower rate of loss
I've been slimming down too. My 32 inch pants sit very low on me now. I could pull them off without unbuttoning them. My obliques show with definition all the time, but my abs don't show unless I flex right. I wonder how I can have so little fat on even my lower abs, but not see any abs. I then realized that just because everyone has abs and fat covers them does not mean that just weight and lifting weights will show the abs. You have to work the muscles that you don't want to shrink. So because I was not doing enough crunches, I think my ab muscles shrunk as I lost the belly fat. And people can lose muscle a lot faster than they can gain it, even though they can easily maintain it while losing weight. So I probably have a lot of work ahead of me to get those abs back. Not sure why my obliques did not disappear too.
Aplunk1
Senior Member
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Congrats on 162, Jayman. That's very commendable. What is your net loss?
I've slimmed down incredibly, simply by intense exercise and low-fat, healthy diet.
I'm in the 160-range myself, having been just above 205 in late December. Now I look like a typical, skinny white geek... LoL
I've slimmed down incredibly, simply by intense exercise and low-fat, healthy diet.
I'm in the 160-range myself, having been just above 205 in late December. Now I look like a typical, skinny white geek... LoL
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aplunk, 23 pounds
