Forum Members: Just How Vain Are You?

[JohnsonDDG]

We're on a forum about losing our hair and potentially our looks so I imagine that we are all somewhat vain.

And let me say, I'm not framing vanity in a negative way, if anything it can be a massive positive.

We all know that beauty enables the social halo effect - the phenomenon of people treating you better because you look good. If you are attractive you are more likely to be liked, promoted, and have a much higher sexual market value. So to be beautiful and to enhance your own beauty is almost essential if you want to improve your life.

I know I check my hair every time I take a break. I always make sure I dress well - even if its a relaxed environment. I hit the gym to have a more attractive body. I groom body and facial hair for the same reason.

Are you guys mostly the same?

Would you consider yourself vain or is it just the hair that you fuss over?

 

[Stanx22]

I think the only way for someone like me to be content with life, is to follow Buddha's advice that desires are the source of sufferings and that killing them is the answer. I'm done clinging to desires that're not going to be fulfilled anyways and only going to torture me. I know that i can't win over my biology 100%, but i'll try my best and will focus more on the spiritual side. This is the only way to get rid of the darkness inside me.

 

[DHTpolice]

I think the only way for someone like me to be content with life, is to follow Buddha's advice that desires are the source of sufferings and that killing them is the answer. I'm done clinging to desires that're not going to be fulfilled anyways and only going to torture me. I know that i can't win over my biology 100%, but i'll try my best and will focus more on the spiritual side. This is the only way to get rid of the darkness inside me.

He has fooled people to think that desires are the source of all sufferings, while at the same time he was fullfiling his own manic desire for self-actualization—the top of the Maslow's pyramid. Buddha is a pretentious, vain fraud.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

i obsess over my appearance but dont really groom myself much
just look in the mirror a lot more than i assume is healthy and take a ton of photos of myself i never show anyone
i think i may have had bdd before even having any hair loss

I once lost my phone and it had hundreds of selfies and tons of hairline pictures on there.

I didn't even have a lock on it so whoever saw it would have seen the selfies.

I'm so glad this happened in south east asia because if it happened in the west it would have made social media.

 

[Johnt1997]

I once lost my phone and it had hundreds of selfies and tons of hairline pictures on there.

I didn't even have a lock on it so whoever saw it would have seen the selfies.

I'm so glad this happened in south east asia because if it happened in the west it would have made social media.

Hahaha my camera roll is the same. My friend saw it once while I was scrolling through my phone but luckily we were drunk so I don't think he remembers it

I also go through my Instagram photos on a regular basis just to see how I look in them

 

[Baldingat188]

I am extremely vain but at the same time I am not a bad person.

I am constantly thinking about looks , comparing myself to others , taking pictures of myself , taking pictures of my hair. Definitely have hairloss related obsession because every time I go somewhere with different lighting I take about 10 pictures of my hair.

Still though I treat everyone well reguardless of how they look. I would be friends with anyone regardless of looks. That being said I am kind of picky with dating.

It sucks and I'm not proud of being vain but it's just how it is. I am disgustingly shallow.

 

[Baldingat188]

To add to that I also look in the mirror way to much. Sometimes I will be like damn I look pretty good and sometimes I am staring at my pedo diffusing hair.

 

[Johnt1997]

To add to that I also look in the mirror way to much. Sometimes I will be like damn I look pretty good and sometimes I am staring at my pedo diffusing hair.

Being more cobsciously aware of the halo-effect and looks privilege than your average person, I feel sorry for ugly/unattractive people and will make an effort to help friends to looksmax(those who you Can actually help ofc) I feel bad for feeling superior to these ugly people but it's human nature I guess to take comfort in people in a worse situation than you

 

[Dontwannabeabetabob]

Very vain. I always make sure my hair is perfect (as much as it allows me to), I gymcel, eat a very good diet, drink only water, nails are always neatly trimmed, so is body hair. I constantly look in the mirror. I'll take vids of myself to judge how I look in motion and correct any posture imperfections. I'd say it takes me an hour to get ready in the morning. I can't leave the house looking bummy, I always have to have on something fashionable because first impressions are everything, in my mind even to strangers I suppose. This year I'll probably become even more obsessive.

 

[Bklyn_23]

I am very vain and incredibly self-conscious (and these are likely related). Vain in the sense that I take an incredible amount of pride in the way I look, NOT that I think I look better than others - that would be conceitedness. My self-consciousness manifested at around age 15 (I've read that it is exceedingly rare for children under 12 to be self-conscious, because it appears to be due to hormonal and neurological changes affected during puberty).

From age 16-20 I was very good looking (around a 9), but still very self-conscious: if the wind would blow my hair around I'd get mild anxiety (and this was when I had a fullhead with gel etc. in it!), or if the wind blew my shirt making it cling to my stomach I'd hate it (and I was in good shape at the time). On top of this, in life in general I don't like to not have any sort of control over a situation. I'm not a control freak by any means (some of that is because my natural abilities allow me to positively affect most situations), but I do believe that this is a big reason why even 23 years after my hair loss started, I still haven't moved to the "acceptance" stage. I also encountered racism from my first love's family at age 15 (your race is another thing you can't do anything to change) and it threw me into a clinical depression for a few years. After years of reading and introspection, I definitely subscribe to the leading cognitive-behavioral theory of depression, which is that it is "learned helplessness." I certainly acknowledge that there are biochemical bases for depression, but in most cases I believe those changes are spurred by some cognitiive conundrum, and they then serve to reinforce the depression and contribute to the lack of affect, suicidal ideations etc.

How this relates to hair loss is that I believe that many of the folks who are most affected by hair loss have a higher need for control and don't find it as easy as others to "let things go" in general, not just with regard to their hair.

 

[swingline747]

Vanity is good, without vanity we would have never decided to civilize ourselves, put on clothes and be bodily hygienic in any way. Anyone who says youre being vain, tell them to shave their head, give away all their belongings and go live atop a Himalayan mountain

 

[CaptainForehead]

I look in the mirror, trim etc only when I have to meet people of importance.
If I don't have to go to work, I don't give a f***.

 

[Jack Ito]

I once lost my phone and it had hundreds of selfies and tons of hairline pictures on there.

I didn't even have a lock on it so whoever saw it would have seen the selfies.

I'm so glad this happened in south east asia because if it happened in the west it would have made social media.

This just happened to me recently. I had hundreds of photo’s of my hair and hairline saved to my camera roll. I lost my phone on a night out in a club filled with people I know. Someone I know potentially has access to my biggest secret and obsession.. very scary thought.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

This just happened to me recently. I had hundreds of photo’s of my hair and hairline saved to my camera roll. I lost my phone on a night out in a club filled with people I know. Someone I know potentially has access to my biggest secret and obsession.. very scary thought.

Not to feed the flames of your fear - but if someone found it then there is a high chance they would show all your mates as well

 

[jo123456789]

Unfortunately I am vain and OCD, bad combo. I'm 40 and still vain, but not like when I was younger. In my early 20's, I got my haircut every friday after work, did the tanning thing and trained hard at the gym. My family all told me how vain I was, didn't care. To this day, I will not leave the house of my hair is not perfect. I don't like people touching my hair, part of my OCD thing.

 

[Exodus2011]

Very vain. I always make sure my hair is perfect (as much as it allows me to), I gymcel, eat a very good diet, drink only water, nails are always neatly trimmed, so is body hair. I constantly look in the mirror. I'll take vids of myself to judge how I look in motion and correct any posture imperfections. I'd say it takes me an hour to get ready in the morning. I can't leave the house looking bummy, I always have to have on something fashionable because first impressions are everything, in my mind even to strangers I suppose. This year I'll probably become even more obsessive.

dont do this kind of aspie sluthate cringe sh*t, it ironically makes you be awkward. i know from experience, when i'm high and walking i monitor how i walk but onlly end up making myself walk weird XD.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Unfortunately I am vain and OCD, bad combo. I'm 40 and still vain, but not like when I was younger. In my early 20's, I got my haircut every friday after work, did the tanning thing and trained hard at the gym. My family all told me how vain I was, didn't care. To this day, I will not leave the house of my hair is not perfect. I don't like people touching my hair, part of my OCD thing.

Do you still tan and hit the gym?

The only relief I get from being older is that my friends are aging now so the beauty standard isn't as high.

 

[Saurabhaj]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=348339929017101

 

[DoctorHouse]

Johnson, I have BDD. Would you say people with BDD are obsessed with vanity?

 

[bridgeburn]

If I was trapped living on a deserted island and could never interact with anybody, I would still care about hair being on my head