Absolutely terrified of relationships

[swingline747]

From my perspective, very few people these days are capable of long term relationships including marriage because they don't have the coping skills to make it last long enough. Long term relationships require huge sacrifice, energy, and alot to work to survive because most women are not straight out of "Disney" like you made reference to. Happiness has to be defined on YOUR own terms and no one else. In other words, only you decide what happiness means. And that will differ by each individual. Unfortunately, most let society determine what happiness means. For example, someone might feel a billion dollars would make them happy but someone else might feel only million dollars would make them feel happy. You and only you decides what happiness means. So for some, marriage does not always equate to happiness.

I have 2 married friends. Ive just been in a long term relationship for like 9 years, no marriage. We were talking and I said when I get out of this one (prob never) I will NEVER be in another relationship again. I have ZERO interest in sharing my life and time with anyone else anymore. I want to do what I want when I want with out having to answer to anyone. Women today believe in this fantasy feminist bull**** society now where everything is on their side.
We were arguing and her thing is I go sleep downstairs. Which is fine I built the entire lower lever from concrete and studs to a great place. I made it TO SLEEP DOWNSTAIRS. I prefer it. The one night I wanted to be a dick I told her to go sleep downstairs and she said "that will never happen, youre the man you go sleep down there". When did this crap start?
My dream is to have my band, practice my music, build the house the way "I" want to with zero compromise and bang young women and strippers/escorts!
If I want to go on vacation, Ill go with my buddies, theyre more fun than bringing a girl anyway. Man gay guys got the life!

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One of my college roommate used to bring chicks and ****ing them in the same room as me while I was asleep. WTF How can people do **** like this?

HEY its college you share rooms! DONT JUDGE!

 

[Joan]

I'm not searching for sex, I can get sex easily, I'm searching for options. That way I can get even with her somehow.

You can't get even with someone who no longer loves you. When my ex-husband and I split up, I slept with an ex shortly after, in my mind, "to get even". Afterwards, it didn't make me feel any better; I actually felt worse because I knew nothing I did no longer mattered to him and never would.

 

[blackg]

I actually can top that, EvilLocks (semi-deserted train back from NYC, early morning hours--that's all I'll say).

That sounds great, Joan! Seriously!
for me.... Once my girlfriend and I got it on in the back of a cab.
The driver was turning around a lot when stopped at red lights.
It was one of the most erotic moments of my life!!

Ya really gotta live sometimes!

P.S. I hope that cab driver wasn't checking out my hairy ***!

 

[Joan]

Indeed you top it. Was that a casual fling?

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It was my first serious relationship at 18. I've got a couple other good ones too--ah, memories! Keep thinking young, and things won't ever get boring.

 

[EvilLocks]

You can't get even with someone who no longer loves you. When my ex-husband and I split up, I slept with an ex shortly after, in my mind, "to get even". Afterwards, it didn't make me feel any better; I actually felt worse because I knew nothing I did no longer mattered to him and never would.

Very true, Joan. No matter who or how many guys I'd sleep with after me and my ex split up, it wouldn't bother him. Because he no longer loves me. When you look at it the other way around though - yes, it hurts, cause I still love him. Reminds me of a song that goes "cause when a heart breaks it don't break even"...

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It was my first serious relationship at 18. I've got a couple other good ones too--ah, memories! Keep thinking young, and things won't ever get boring.

Do share, stories like that are fun ;D

 

[Joan]

From my perspective, very few people these days are capable of long term relationships including marriage because they don't have the coping skills to make it last long enough. Long term relationships require huge sacrifice, energy, and alot to work to survive because most women are not straight out of "Disney" like you made reference to. Happiness has to be defined on YOUR own terms and no one else. In other words, only you decide what happiness means. And that will differ by each individual. Unfortunately, most let society determine what happiness means. For example, someone might feel a billion dollars would make them happy but someone else might feel only million dollars would make them feel happy. You and only you decides what happiness means. So for some, marriage does not always equate to happiness.

No one is straight out of Disney, and when we realize we can be just as annoying at times as our spouses/significant others are to us, we become more tolerant of them. I think we throw caution to the wind when we're young and don't overthink marriage and having children. We don't question if our love will be forever; we just assume it will. At our age, DH, we value our "space", and certain thoughts/behaviors are pretty much ingrained in us, so we're hesitant to trust that others will accept us as we are and vice versa for the remainder of our lives.

 

[xetudor]

HEY its college you share rooms! DONT JUDGE!

I guess you're right but it's polite to tell the guy first or wake him so he can leave for a while.

 

[blackg]

Like I said I was very drunk (so was he), so my judgement wasn't the best at that moment. It's not an excuse though, and it's definitely not something I look back at with pride. I'm very embarrassed and sad for the little girl who had to endure the sight and sound of her dad having sex with a girl. Even though we were under a blanket I'm sure she knew something was going on...

Only an uptight Grandma, or those with similar social views, would judge you for this, Avillock.
Or those who have never been in a moment or true passion wit another human being.

Damn all the sad, frustrated, finger wagers!!

As the saying goes... Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

I say... Ignore the judgemental fools.
"Traumatising a child"!! What a pathetic comment.
Someone (extudor) is a bit jelly!!!

 

[EvilLocks]

Only an uptight Grandma, or those with similar social views, would judge you for this, Avillock.
Or those who have never been in a moment or true passion wit another human being.

Damn all the sad, frustrated, finger wagers!!

As the saying goes... Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

I say... Ignore the judgemental fools.
"Traumatising a child"!! What a pathetic comment.
Someone (extudor) is a bit jelly!!!

I'm not proud of this though. I wish we'd just had sex in another room but we were so drunk (and horny lol), and this mattress was just lying there on the floor ready to be taken advantage of! LOL!

 

[xetudor]

Only an uptight Grandma, or those with similar social views, would judge you for this, Avillock.
Or those who have never been in a moment or true passion wit another human being.

Damn all the sad, frustrated, finger wagers!!

As the saying goes... Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

I say... Ignore the judgemental fools.
"Traumatising a child"!! What a pathetic comment.
Someone (extudor) is a bit jelly!!!

I'm a jelly judgemental fool because I don't think it's right to have sex in front of children?

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

It's really pointless and dim to judge people in this thread.

 

[Joan]

These is no alternative to be happy, if there was one, it would be: be in top 1% in terms of looks, then most women you attract will stick with you no matter what you do.

My closest friend is nice looking, and people have always been drawn to him, both men and women. His ex-wife was nothing special to look at, and she was the one who cheated. If you're talking about most women sticking around in permanent relationships, even looks won't matter if they're unhappy, and I think the same could be said for men.

 

[DoctorHouse]

No one is straight out of Disney, and when we realize we can be just as annoying at times as our spouses/significant others are to us, we become more tolerant of them. I think we throw caution to the wind when we're young and don't overthink marriage and having children. We don't question if our love will be forever; we just assume it will. At our age, DH, we value our "space", and certain thoughts/behaviors are pretty much ingrained in us, so we're hesitant to trust that others will accept us as we are and vice versa for the remainder of our lives.

Very well said. I totally agree. Joan, no matter how much hair loss these young guys have, I still envy they still have their youth.

 

[Joan]

Very well said. I totally agree. Joan, no matter how much hair loss these young guys have, I still envy they still have their youth.

But would we envy their youth if we were losing our hair at their age? I'd rather be 53 and continue to age (and hate it!!) with a full head of hair that would outlive me. The fact is, we can't be in their shoes, and they can't be in ours (as far as knowing how we feel about our aging selves), so we really don't know which would bother us more.

 

[I.D WALKER]

Sizes please!
I say to everyone here:
let's all have a group shop for new shoes. Nameless can foot the bill.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

I'm jealous of the wild sexual experiences you've all had. I can't connect with women at all. I've been told i.make awful first impressions.

 

[blackg]

It's really pointless and dim to judge people in this thread.

Plus 1000 points, David_NBN!!

 

[EvilLocks]

I can't connect with women at all.

Not even under the influence of alcohol? (Think Raj from The Big Bang Theory) And I'm sure you are being a bit hard on yourself when you say you make awful first impressions. What makes you think this? Believe it or not but there was a time when I suffered from social anxiety (in my early teens), and I thought that everyone saw me as weird and stupid. I felt that everything that came out of my mouth sounded stupid, and I thought everyone secretly hated me. Which wasn't the case, but that's how I saw myself. Anyway, I don't suffer from social anxiety anymore and I know I'm a good and likeable person now. I don't really know where I'm going with this but just remember that just because someone has told you that you make awful first impressions, doesn't mean everyone thinks so. And just because you don't connect with some women, doesn't mean you won't connect with all. I believe that there's somebody out there for everyone, and that when the time's right you'll meet someone who completes you. But maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic?

 

[Joan]

I'm jealous of the wild sexual experiences you've all had. I can't connect with women at all. I've been told i.make awful first impressions.

In what way(s)?

All the "wild sexual experiences" can't compare to meeting your true soulmate. Maybe men feel differently.

 

[Roberto_72]

May I tell my more extreme experience? I once had an American girlfriend who was on sabbatical in Florence.
She had a thing for sex in open spaces. So one Sunday afternoon we did it in a field that was no farther than 100 meters from a field where people were having a picnic.
And this girl was LOUD.
In retrospect, I wish it had happened more often before she went back to Connecticut!
Now I am too old, wet grass would immediately give me a cold