Ok, if you don't want to change, your problem.
I'm no therapist, but it's common sense what i say to you.
Okay, you're bald. Maybe you;ll be like that all life, or maybe a cure will appear soon.
But, if no cure appears, you must accept it, because you need to accept what you cannot change!
Why live a miserable life, thinking everyday about how other unimportant people perceive you??
Slow down and think! How exactly does this help, being so negative, seeing yourself as ugly, "monster", and other nonsenses.
Your problem is that you are the biggest one who disconsiders yourlsef!!
If you see yourself such ugly, etc, how you'd like others to perceive you differently??
I don't get what's your scope on these boards.
You come and say that you feel miserable, you see yoruslef as a worthless person, a monster, etc, and ...and i see that you expect others to agree, if they don't you get irritated!!! I don;t get this attitude, how exactly does this help you??
Ok, if you don;t want to appear bald in front of useless, retarded, ignorant people who would mock you, get a cap and put it on your head!!! Look at Enrique Iglesias, he probably has problems with his hair, and...he wears a cap frequently!! even in concerts!! And what a great girl does he have!!!
But i'm sure you're gonna reply like this :"oh, i can;t wear a cap, beacuse them...what would think stupid, idiot and retarded people whio mock me, they would question i'm hiding something bla bla bla". You analize too much these aspects, you must stop thinking like that!!!
And one important tip: the retards and idiots who mock you , they do it beacuse they see baldness affects you, and they like to make you suffer more! IF you are confident and let them know that you don't give a **** about your baldness(even if you do, try not to make them see it) , you beat them!!!
You give so much importance on every a**h** you see on the street!! Come on!! There are plenty of idiots around us every day, having perfect hair doesn't make them less idiot!!!