Yes, I am a moaning maggot.

[seb]

As discussed on various posts, wearing facial hair can significantly aid in easing the aesthetic disfiguirement of baldness. Now, I have worn a goatee off and on for around 10years. The amount of s**t I have received is horrendous, you would think I was the only man too have hair on ones face.
Its funny, when I had a short goatee, men would largely laugh, thinking I couldnt grow anywhere else, now I have grown it thicker, its women who laugh, and mutter in the street. I have grown a full beard but got absolutely battered by society. Go clean shaven I hear people cry. I have been told by everybody I dont suit the look.
The last 2-3 years I have really struggled with being bald, coupled with this constant ridicule of my facial hair, I cant cope. I know for a 35year old man its pathetic, but I cant continue to cope with the laughter. Is it because I am bald, the colour, the length(of what I have to keep it longer than most due to it being so light), the style, or just simply being Seb. Its just not natural for a middle aged man to get so much flak for having something as simple as facial hair. Its not as if I dont have the coverage, and thus density, or the goatee doesnt fit my face.

 

[Jockson]

See this is why I'm skeptical about this whole baldness = ridicule thing. I've worn a goatee/facial hair for the last 15 years or so and have not even once experienced someone mocking me about it or laughing at me. But you're not bald you say. Well no, but I'm a NW3 and I've been shaving my head for the past 12 months. Still yet to experience mocking or ridicule. Perhaps the UK/USA are on a different planet compared to where I come from but to be honest, I've never heard about someone being "battered by society" for growing a full beard anywhere. That seems pretty ridiculous really.

 

[talmoode]

well, post some pictures of your beard. May I say that some people grow beard in a weird way that might get them some unwanted attention. Have you asked your friends or family members if your beard looks good on you?

 

[Mr White]

Seb, we all know that baldness sucks and you have every right to feel angry. Your comments on facial hair are ludicrous, though.

 

[seb]

See this is why I'm skeptical about this whole baldness = ridicule thing. I've worn a goatee/facial hair for the last 15 years or so and have not even once experienced someone mocking me about it or laughing at me. But you're not bald you say. Well no, but I'm a NW3 and I've been shaving my head for the past 12 months. Still yet to experience mocking or ridicule. Perhaps the UK/USA are on a different planet compared to where I come from but to be honest, I've never heard about someone being "battered by society" for growing a full beard anywhere. That seems pretty ridiculous really.

I agree it is ridiculous, ridiculous that people have to comment on someone elses facial growth. I have had quite a few women mutter something about "chin", "goatee looks s**t" etc and laugh, whilst looking at me.

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well, post some pictures of your beard. May I say that some people grow beard in a weird way that might get them some unwanted attention. Have you asked your friends or family members if your beard looks good on you?

Cant post, havent got a phone/camera. Maybe people think my facial hair is "weird" because it is fair ie light ginger and blond, and I am bald. Yes, all my immediate family/friends say I suit the goatee. Its people in the street/shops etc seeing me for the first time.

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Seb, we all know that baldness sucks and you have every right to feel angry. Your comments on facial hair are ludicrous, though.

Are they? Type in Tiger Woods-goatee/beard, and see the negative articles written about him for sporting something as a simple as a goatee......I cant believe Johnny Deep can walk around with that on his face, and no-one bats an eyelid. I suppose its because he is good looking, its not ginger, and he has hair right!

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I have come to and clear and concise conclusion over the years thats its me ie the whole essence of Seb. Everything I do/every look I adopt has been constantly ridiculed by the majority of society, everywhere I go. My own father has said repeatedly over the years that I have a "punchable face". There is something about my facial features that irrates people. As someone said at work, I am ugly because I am different looking ie am tall and have facial hair.

 

[DannyBoyy]

You just got to do what YOU want to do dude you wouldnt change your shirt if someone said take it off it is **** would you?...i have a big beard at the moment and if someone says shave it or whatever i will ignore them...it is YOUR face they can have opinions about your facial hair but it is nothing to do with them if you have it or not do you like the goatee? if so then keep it is YOUR face do what YOU want to do.

 

[Another]

If you're balding(I mean real nw5-6) then I don't think facial hair could save your game. It's either hair transplant's or hitting the gym. Start with the gym, you'll look better and you'll feel a lot better too. Balding and slim/overweight looks like a loser to most people, but balding and bulked up/fit is alright to most people.

 

[piacere]

Cant post, havent got a phone/camera.

This is 2013 right?

 

[seb]

You just got to do what YOU want to do dude you wouldnt change your shirt if someone said take it off it is **** would you?...i have a big beard at the moment and if someone says shave it or whatever i will ignore them...it is YOUR face they can have opinions about your facial hair but it is nothing to do with them if you have it or not do you like the goatee? if so then keep it is YOUR face do what YOU want to do.

But its not just one person is it....everyones laughing.

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This is 2013 right?

I will rephrase. I have a basic phone ie one that takes calls and receives calls.....you know what a phone was invented for.

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He thinks his friends will recognize him, make fun of him and come burn down his house if he posted pictures, I mean, it could happen!

No it wont happen as I havent any friends. Anyway thanks for youre continued support.

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If you're balding(I mean real nw5-6) then I don't think facial hair could save your game. It's either hair transplant's or hitting the gym. Start with the gym, you'll look better and you'll feel a lot better too. Balding and slim/overweight looks like a loser to most people, but balding and bulked up/fit is alright to most people.

I "hit the gym". The only difference it makes, is people are even more scared of me...."cross the road to avoid me and all that". Yes respect out of fear(and hatred). The only respect I will ever get.

 

[piacere]

This is 2013 right?

I will rephrase. I have a basic phone ie one that takes calls and receives calls.....you know what a phone was invented for.

I will not rephrase... this is 2013 right? Regardless, who doesn't have a camera of any nature?

 

[Thom]

Sadly, I don't think he's a troll. I think he's had some hard times, possibly with family that were a bit hard on him, and it tainted his world view. It's sad to see someone living in a mental prison and knowing that they could get out of it.

 

[uncomfortable man]

If you're so enlightened then how does he escape his mental prison? By simply ignoring the effects of the negative stigma with some positive affirmations thrown in for good measure? The prison is the social consciousness that is engrained in everyones minds that bald is ugly and unwanted then they act out on it against guys like me and Seb. Society is the prison so unless we are willing to become literal hermits I don't know how you think we can escape. Thinking differently isn't going to solve the root of the problem. The problem is the way they think about us. But we can't change the way other people are trained to think and behave can we....

 

[Thom]

But I don't think anyone has such a real stigma against facial hair. You know how dogs pick up when you're afraid? People pick up on insecurity and someone who wants affirmation and the less mature will give their two cents to feel powerful. I just think if he, or yourself, get to the point where you don't care what they think it will be very freeing. It takes work but it's possible. Im 26 and just now kind of getting there. I've seen people with real facial deformities who chose not to care what people thought and really projected happiness. Why then is it not possible for you to do the same?

 

[uncomfortable man]

I too don't agree so much on the facial hair but as long as you recognize the stigma against baldness and see the negative attitudes towards it then I'm fine. You just have to understand that it only hits home when it happens to you. Then it becomes relevant when you understand that not everyone is going to be kind to you (and yes I know it goes the same way with hair but without it things are tougher). When you are horrified by this stranger in the mirror, when you become the butt of too many jokes and you notice the difference in the way people treat you it will begin to sink in and it will sap your confidence! I hope you can appreciate that. I still stand on the premise that although I am bald and people are going to think less of me for it, I remain a human being and still deserve to be treated as such. Not everyone see's it that way and mob mentality can be a b**ch.

The definition of culture is taught and learned behavior reinforced through ritual. So when a culture is indirectly anti-bald that message is going to resonate into the mass consciousness and reflect in peoples behavior. This is a serious problem for bald guys, particularly ones that went young like I did. Simply ignoring it like your deformed friend isn't going to make the problem go away and neither is telling someone to just be happy as if it were that simple.

 

[seb]

You haven't any friends?

One friend, but he is 66.

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I will not rephrase... this is 2013 right? Regardless, who doesn't have a camera of any nature?

I am not asking you to rephrase. I am saying I have no camera. I dont even have a tv.....take waht I say at fsce value, or not.

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Seems trolls don't have cameras

If you think I am a troll then thats youre belief, I am not going oput of my way too convince you otherwise.

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But I don't think anyone has such a real stigma against facial hair. You know how dogs pick up when you're afraid? People pick up on insecurity and someone who wants affirmation and the less mature will give their two cents to feel powerful. I just think if he, or yourself, get to the point where you don't care what they think it will be very freeing. It takes work but it's possible. Im 26 and just now kind of getting there. I've seen people with real facial deformities who chose not to care what people thought and really projected happiness. Why then is it not possible for you to do the same?

There IS a real stigma attached to facial fair WHEN you are bald, especially if, one you grow it out like me, and two have a goatee. Its a generic look amongst bald men that the majority of society dislikes. Topped off with being fairly big like me, the goatee/bald look is deemed as an attempt too be "hard", being a doorman, a racist, thug etc, intimidating.
The only facial hair that is accepted by the sheep is this metrosexual "stubble beard" nonsense. I dont think it would work on a fair-haired man such as I, hence the goatee. Since I have grown the goatee thicker in order to counter-act the laughter I recieved when I kept the goatee short(because it is ginger and blond, in certain lightings/angles/distances it wasnt very "visible", appearing translucent) In have had nothing but dirty looks and mutterings.
Now maybe due too having no hair, and having such soft features, thick facial hair is too much of a paradox.....

 

[DannyBoyy]

One friend, but he is 66.

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I am not asking you to rephrase. I am saying I have no camera. I dont even have a tv.....take waht I say at fsce value, or not.

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If you think I am a troll then thats youre belief, I am not going oput of my way too convince you otherwise.

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There IS a real stigma attached to facial fair WHEN you are bald, especially if, one you grow it out like me, and two have a goatee. Its a generic look amongst bald men that the majority of society dislikes. Topped off with being fairly big like me, the goatee/bald look is deemed as an attempt too be "hard", being a doorman, a racist, thug etc, intimidating.
The only facial hair that is accepted by the sheep is this metrosexual "stubble beard" nonsense. I dont think it would work on a fair-haired man such as I, hence the goatee. Since I have grown the goatee thicker in order to counter-act the laughter I recieved when I kept the goatee short(because it is ginger and blond, in certain lightings/angles/distances it wasnt very "visible", appearing translucent) In have had nothing but dirty looks and mutterings.
Now maybe due too having no hair, and having such soft features, thick facial hair is too much of a paradox.....

I have the balding look (but shaved) and facial hair the goatee area is darker the the cheeks i love my look couldnt give a **** what others think...i hope one day you will to.

 

[Thom]

Well, if you're clean shaved up top, brooding, with a long goatee it may just be they think you're a skinhead. Depending on what part of the city you live in.

Keep your chin up and maybe be a bit friendlier and I'll bet it stops. I don't know, Im not in your position. Just wish the best for you man.

 

[DoctorHouse]

I too don't agree so much on the facial hair but as long as you recognize the stigma against baldness and see the negative attitudes towards it then I'm fine. You just have to understand that it only hits home when it happens to you. Then it becomes relevant when you understand that not everyone is going to be kind to you (and yes I know it goes the same way with hair but without it things are tougher). When you are horrified by this stranger in the mirror, when you become the butt of too many jokes and you notice the difference in the way people treat you it will begin to sink in and it will sap your confidence! I hope you can appreciate that. I still stand on the premise that although I am bald and people are going to think less of me for it, I remain a human being and still deserve to be treated as such. Not everyone see's it that way and mob mentality can be a b**ch.

The definition of culture is taught and learned behavior reinforced through ritual. So when a culture is indirectly anti-bald that message is going to resonate into the mass consciousness and reflect in peoples behavior. This is a serious problem for bald guys, particularly ones that went young like I did. Simply ignoring it like your deformed friend isn't going to make the problem go away and neither is telling someone to just be happy as if it were that simple.

Fred, what are your thoughts about this post. Have you experienced this too?

 

[DoctorHouse]

Fred, I appreciate your honesty. My dad was bald all his life and he never had anyone mocking him. He never made any issue about it all his life. And like I said, I never heard anyone mocking someone for being bald when I was growing up. I think if I would have gone bald at an earlier age I would have concealed it. I concealed my acne with concealer and believe me that was tough for me since wearing concealer in my time was considered gay. Now its metrosexual.

 

[Thom]

Same here, being bald was just who they were and I didn't think twice about it. I was more intimidated by bald guys thinking they were alpha actually.

Looking back now there were tons of guys balding that I didn't recognize as such.