@Diesel guy you have nailed the look -- it is amazing.
I am in my 40s and I find my density is too high as well, and the salon always tries to talk me out of lower densities. My pics are earlier on this thread and I will also put my latest (new system) pics up soon.
The benefit of a bit more density is of course that the system lasts longer. I got 8 months out of my last system, though it did need some extra maintenance in the last 3 months or so. Actually my systems are probably in the "perfect" stage from month 2 to month 5, approximately. They shed just that 'right' amount and leave me with a lower density and flatter hair. I really don't like 'bouncy' hair!
The other thing is that I wear UTS. It's incredibly easy to maintain and really comfortable, but it seems that lower density and non-bouncy hair isn't possible with UTS. I would love to be corrected on this!
@Diesel guy is yours a lace system?