How Do You Tell Your Girlfriend You Have A Hair System?

[Oliver510]

Hi Oliver. Have you made this work for you? If so, how deep was your transplanted hairline (ie how far back from the front)? Did you do the temple points as well? (that is the bit I would be most interested in).

Noah

Hey Noah, I have not done this. But I've seen it done:
http://www.chicagohairinstitute.com/surgical-hair-loss-solutions/hair-system-and-hairline-surgery
http://www.hairestorationetwork.com...-hairline-restoration-hair-piece-patient.html

It seems like a challenge though, you have to wait a year for that transplanted hair to grow to find out if it works. So I think a surgeon who has done it before and would be willing to graft long hair with the piece attached would be a good idea.

 

[Noah]

Thanks for the photos Oliver. It's an intriguing idea, but the thing that puts me off is that I don't really want people fixating their attention on the TP scarring and then maybe noticing, ahem, other aspects of my hair. If I was still able to use my natural hairline, but it was thinning, I would definitely consider preserving it with a transplant.

 

[samantha3333]

I would agree that with a long-term girlfriend it's better to come clean to an extent, but I still think there is merit in sugaring the pill. My line (which I have used several times now) is that my hair is thinning and I go to a specialist salon and get hair extensions put in to augment my natural hair, but I'm a bit sensitive about it and I don't like my hair talked about or touched. Girls are familiar with and accepting of the idea of extensions, and I think its a justifiable characterisation - my hairpiece is one big extension. But it is better not to burden the ladies with the notion of a toupee or wig - you want to deemphasise the notion of a base with hair tied to it and focus on the fact you are just thickening up your natural hair. Eventually the truth may dawn on them, but I still think they prefer to classify it in their heads as 'boyfriend gets extensions - what a metrosexual' rather than 'boyfriend wears a toupee - covering up fact he is bald', and who can blame them.

If you do follow this line it is a must that you get a good undetectable hairline, and you can't let them see you without the hairpiece or let them see the piece off your head. That is all stuff for private time. Again, in my experience it is better for all parties if you preserve the illusion. You don't really want to see Julia Robert or Cameron Diaz taking out her false teeth, and the ladies don't really want to see Enrique Iglesias or Ben Affleck without his hairpiece. It's just the same for us.

I've seen guys on Northwest Lace and other forum talk about how they are living with their girlfriends for years and they never found out. Not sure how much hassle there would be?

 

[samantha3333]

I noticed this picture on the Hair4All site which is a good example of the latter problem:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/hair4all/15161387174/

The guy has evidently had a transplanted hairline done. Now he is shaving it off and covering it with a piece, but the piece has to start at the same place as the transplanted hairline, to cover the transplant scars. Meanwhile, however, his sides have receded badly, and consequently the hairpiece looks out of balance and rather detectable. Hair4All have done the best they can for him, and it doesn't look awful, but it's not ideal either.

Hi Noah,

What do you think of hair4all?
I've zoomed in a lot of their pics and found out that a lot of the lace front they've done are very noticeable. Bad attachment?

 

[samantha3333]

For using a hair system. Because imo in 90% you get busted by people noticing that something is off with the hairline.

Can I steal some hair follicles from my dad? I inherited his hair. He's now 54 and has the hair of a 15 yo boy lol. Can it be done?

 

[hairblues]

If you want a woman opinion don't say anything--especially early on--if it's a hair system (i.e. does not come off) its not her business. She's with you so she likes how you look thats all that matters...if it comes up casually after you are comfortable with her thats different but its not an STD you have to disclose. its just hair. Thats just my opinion. I think you will just know when you feel comfortable.

 

[Jimbo5]

"Not her business" that she was really spending the last couple weeks (or months) with a bald man wearing a wig, eh, 'blues.

A dude might change his tune about that after getting a glass of wine hurled into his face...

 

[samantha3333]

"Not her business" that she was really spending the last couple weeks (or months) with a bald man wearing a wig, eh, 'blues.

A dude might change his tune about that after getting a glass of wine hurled into his face...

What if the role reversed. What if it was the girl who wears a hair piece

 

[Jimbo5]

What if the role reversed. What if it was the girl who wears a hair piece

If she had a pretty (or cute) face, a thin waist, and a nice bum, I'd still find her attractive, even if she concealed hair loss with a wig...

 

[hairblues]

If a woman throws a drink in a mans face she's been with for months because he wears a hair system and she did not know..i don't really understand that...that says something about the persons character and why would you be with someone that little character that something so artificial is more important than the man she's having feelings for if she's been with him for months...maybe you like very shallow women. which is fine I'm not judging but i don't think most caring women who have been dating a man for months would throw a drink in someones face...thats psycho.

 

[samantha3333]

If a woman throws a drink in a mans face she's been with for months because he wears a hair system and she did not know..i don't really understand that...that says something about the persons character and why would you be with someone that little character that something so artificial is more important than the man she's having feelings for if she's been with him for months...maybe you like very shallow women. which is fine I'm not judging but i don't think most caring women who have been dating a man for months would throw a drink in someones face...thats psycho.

Agreed. Six months into my last relatioship, my hairloss and depression started. My ex is a natural NW3 (massive forehead) and his dad is slick bald. He said he dad started to lose his hair in early his 20s. The thought of him having to go through the same ordeal really pained me more than my own suffering. If someone truly loves you, they will support you even if you have a damn rug on your head.

 

[Noah]

Sorry Jimbo5, you are a glib tiresome prat. Go and have fun elsewhere.

Samantha, sorry about the slow response. I have actually had the experience several times now of dating girls for a few months without them knowing about my hairpiece. One of them actually moved in with me for a few weeks before I told her. With the quality of systems and adhesives currently available, a very high degree of undetectability is possible if you are meticulous. In each case I told the girl because I did not want the relationship to go too far on a false basis, rather than because I felt they were bound to find out.

In each case the person was surprised, but OK with it, and the relationship continued on its course. Were they a little disappointed to find my hair isn't real? - I guess so, but it wasn't a dealbreaker for them. The scenario where you disclose that you wear a hairpiece and your partner throws a glass of wine in your face and storms out of the house is pure Hollywood. People are just not like that in real life; at least not in my world.

I can't really comment too much on Hair4All. Some of their photos are very impressive, others less so. I have spoken to a few guys who have used them and the general consensus was that their units were good, but they don't provide enough education or after-sales service to get you over the learning curve at the start of wearing. They fall between two stools - they don't have the Hair Club approach where (in theory at least) you leave everything to them, but nor do they provide enough education and guidance for you to do it yourself.

Are you thinking of using them?

Ed

 

[Jimbo5]

This subforum needs a REALITY CHECK every now and then, Vince.

And I'm more than happy to furnish it...

 

[samantha3333]

Your constant cheerleading for this phony, high-maintenance 'solution' for baldness is equally tiresome, Noah.

This chick that "actually moved in with you for a few weeks" ... how soon did she bail after you told her you wear?

And when you say your relationships with these other girls 'continued on their courses' after you disclosed that you wear, exactly how long did they continue? My guess, not very long.


Bald wearers need to do the honorable thing ... the right thing ... and COME CLEAN EARLY ON. Women certainly have a right to know that they're actually with a bald man before things progress too far.

Nothing worse than a sneaky, deceptive little sh*t...

Everyone has their own issues it doesnt mean we have to announce every little secret of ourselves to the world to show our "honesty".

And what comes next?
"Oh, I never knew you had an U in your A level. I am sorry Jimbo this is a deal breaker for me. You should've told me earlier you sneaky, deceptive little sh*t"
"Oh, I never knew you had a third nipple. And you've been using concealor to conceal it because you simply can't live with the fact that you're a f** with three nipples? I am sorry Jimbo this is a deal breaker for me. You should've told me earlier you sneaky, deceptive little sh*t"
"Oh, I never knew you had a root canal done. You really should've told me before I sat on your fking face the first time. I am sorry Jimbo. You've disgusted me. This is such a deal breaker for me even the term deal breaker can't describe it. You should've never even approached me in the first place you sneaky, deceptive little sh*t"

Now, you better go write down every nasty thing about yourself and read the list out on first dates.

 

[Noah]

I'm all in favour of reality checks Jimbo5. But here's the thing: you are not wearing a hairpiece, you have never had the experience of telling a partner that you are wearing (or deciding not to tell them). You have no real idea how they would react. Your comments are not based on experience at all; they are a rehash of rather hackneyed old jokes from low-budget 1970's comedy programmes you once saw, which weren't that funny the first time around. That is not "reality".

I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume you are a decent person, who is probably suffering some hairloss (why else would you be here?), and your earlier comments are just you being a bro, mouthing the conventional wisdom of other boards on this forum - that the only manly response to hairloss is shave it all off and be bald / have a transplant / get a hair tattoo / try to grow it back with drugs [delete as applicable]. So why not go and troll the losers who are wearing or thinking of wearing a wig?

Well, here's why. This is not Facebook or Pokemon Go. The people who post on here are not here for a good time. They are people who haven't been able to adjust to being bald (ringing any bells there?) and haven't been able to get an acceptable alternative from the other solutions on offer, possibly because they don't have the donor hair or the money for a transplant, possibly because they have had a bad medical reaction to drugs, or whatever. They are people with a problem which is bothering them so seriously that they are willing to contemplate a prosthetic solution, even though they know that the idea is widely mocked and despised. They have come here to get the support of other people with the same problem and the same idea. So the last thing they need is more smart-alec mockery. Surely you can understand that? So be a mensch. Stay around if you like, but be nice. Have a care for other people's feelings, and don't offer glib negative cliches which are just intended to put people down.

For the record, I do not go in for "cheerleading" about hairpieces. I have expressly conceded that they are not perfect, they are not for everyone, not even for the majority, and they can be a pain in the butt at times. All I claim for them is that they are a better result than their reputation gives them credit for, they are cheap and wholly reversible, and that they are worth considering for anyone who is seriously bothered by hairloss.

Noah

 

[Jimbo5]

Everyone has their own issues it doesnt mean we have to announce every little secret of ourselves to the world to show our "honesty".

And what comes next?
"Oh, I never knew you had an U in your A level. I am sorry Jimbo this is a deal breaker for me. You should've told me earlier you sneaky, deceptive little sh*t"
"Oh, I never knew you had a third nipple. And you've been using concealor to conceal it because you simply can't live with the fact that you're a f** with three nipples? I am sorry Jimbo this is a deal breaker for me. You should've told me earlier you sneaky, deceptive little sh*t"
"Oh, I never knew you had a root canal done. You really should've told me before I sat on your fking face the first time. I am sorry Jimbo. You've disgusted me. This is such a deal breaker for me even the term deal breaker can't describe it. You should've never even approached me in the first place you sneaky, deceptive little sh*t"

Now, you better go write down every nasty thing about yourself and read the list out on first dates.

Not sure why you're jumpin' me here, sam???

Already told you on Page 2 that hair is way down on my list of things that make a woman attractive.

Would have no problem if a girl I found attractive used extensions or a wig.

My posts in this thread have been exclusively about bald dudes...

 

[samantha3333]

Not sure why you're jumpin' me here, sam???

Already told you on Page 2 that hair is way down on my list of things that make a woman attractive.

Would have no problem if a girl I found attractive used extensions or a wig.

My posts in this thread have been exclusively about bald dudes...

I dunno. I realised whenever a dude tried to give me compliments, "you hair looks nice" is always top of the list. Men care about women's hair.
Imagine your gf has this disgusting medical/genetic condition that we all share here, she has to shave the top of her head every two weeks or so and glue a hair piece to the scalp. Yeah she might still look hot, great tits, nice ***, a perfect hourglass shape with a great career, the list goes on. But she has a wig glued to her head.
I mean, this will be my only viable option. Even as a woman, I wont ever feel comfortable telling somone if I have a hairpiece, if I am not certain whether the relationship is going to last.
You say you wouldn't have a problem if a girl used a wig. You said this as a guy with male pattern baldness tho. The world can be a cruel place.

 

[buckthorn]

Everyone has their own issues it doesnt mean we have to announce every little secret of ourselves to the world to show our "honesty".

And what comes next?
"Oh, I never knew you had an U in your A level. I am sorry Jimbo this is a deal breaker for me. You should've told me earlier you sneaky, deceptive little sh*t"
"Oh, I never knew you had a third nipple. And you've been using concealor to conceal it because you simply can't live with the fact that you're a f** with three nipples? I am sorry Jimbo this is a deal breaker for me. You should've told me earlier you sneaky, deceptive little sh*t"
"Oh, I never knew you had a root canal done. You really should've told me before I sat on your fking face the first time. I am sorry Jimbo. You've disgusted me. This is such a deal breaker for me even the term deal breaker can't describe it. You should've never even approached me in the first place you sneaky, deceptive little sh*t"

Now, you better go write down every nasty thing about yourself and read the list out on first dates.

hahaha!!! damn! this girls got some friggin sas. watch your back gentlemen.

 

[kj6723]

hahaha!!! damn! this girls got some friggin sas. watch your back gentlemen.

Lol yep

Now, you better go write down every nasty thing about yourself and read the list out on first dates.

Damn, I don't want to get on your bad side

 

[samantha3333]

[QUOTE="Noah, post: 1359283, member: 11468"For the record, I do not go in for "cheerleading" about hairpieces. I have expressly conceded that they are not perfect, they are not for everyone, not even for the majority, and they can be a pain in the butt at times. All I claim for them is that they are a better result than their reputation gives them credit for, they are cheap and wholly reversible, and that they are worth considering for anyone who is seriously bothered by hairloss.

Noah[/QUOTE]

Tell me they are perfect and I will believe you Noah

Seriously tho, if some dudes could make it look so damn perfect, I'd be shamed to death if I couldn't as a woman. lol