- Reaction score
- 8
Long time lurker on here.
Since I was a kid I have never fitted in...had no friends or real interest in anything..always shy and withdrawn..left school and went on one of those govt schemes and ended up getting a job that I didnt feel suited to..always made mistakes and felt self conscious...after 3 years there fell into a deep depression..jacked job and made a pathetic attempt at suicide by necking a load of paracetemol..ended up spewing them back . .spent next 18 months out of work...didnt cut hair and grew beard..at 22 noticed slight recession and texture of hair had noticably changed..this started my long miserable obsession with my hair...had it cut short but it very slowly got worse...was thinner at the crown and recessed...didnt so much comb my hair as arrange it...after a year on managed to get a menial but quite well paid job...thought this would be a chance to make friends and maybe form some sort of social life but no..found myself excluded from events..now in mid 20s with no friends or ever having any sort of relationship...used to look at myself in the mirror and not know who I am..went docs who assigned me to a counsellor..1st session she told me to think about people in wheelchairs and are bed ridden...thanked her for her time and left feeling mortified...around 96 tried Regaine..worked brilliantly..thickened hair and restored hairline...this lifted me and maybe just maybe i had turned a corner..after 18 months it stopped working and slowly started to revert..i noticed a distinct bald patch in a security camera..ended up buying cans of Mane and was then trapped using that...after a year or two someone at work outed me touching the back of my head..it was an all male workplace so i was from then on known as the weirdo who puts schit in his hair..felt so miserable and alone and now passed age of 30 with an empty life..no friends..no girlfriend ever...used to lie in bed and wonder why...im not a bad person..just very quiet and shy...one day i got into a fight with lad at work who had been chipping away..he grassed to the boss and i ended up getting sacked after 10 years service...now out of work.and wondering how to pay rent and bills....after few months managed to find another menial job and decided to go see careers officer..retrained for a new profession...got a PC and signed up to a dating website...had a bit of interest but would chicken out of meeting up as what did i have to share..no experiences..never been abroad..what if they clock my schit hair..my confidence never high was feeling shot to hell...plus these women going out with a fella in mid 30s who hasnt even done the things should have been doing when he was 14 ...turned 40 and decided to have hairpiece fitted..have been wearing over 10 years...looks fairly convincing however have bad hair days plus i know its not real so reflect this externally by thinking people will know...
training paid off..now run my own business for last 10 years...dating website eventually went on a few dates...1st was disaster..2nd went out for few months.. they all felt empty and unfulfilling...3rd date lasted 11 years..we eventually married..however this is seperate thread in itself as i dont think i ever loved her..but now feel trapped with someone with no sense of humour and who nags...im 51 now and keep looking back at last 30 years thinking what could i have done to change things....
Since I was a kid I have never fitted in...had no friends or real interest in anything..always shy and withdrawn..left school and went on one of those govt schemes and ended up getting a job that I didnt feel suited to..always made mistakes and felt self conscious...after 3 years there fell into a deep depression..jacked job and made a pathetic attempt at suicide by necking a load of paracetemol..ended up spewing them back . .spent next 18 months out of work...didnt cut hair and grew beard..at 22 noticed slight recession and texture of hair had noticably changed..this started my long miserable obsession with my hair...had it cut short but it very slowly got worse...was thinner at the crown and recessed...didnt so much comb my hair as arrange it...after a year on managed to get a menial but quite well paid job...thought this would be a chance to make friends and maybe form some sort of social life but no..found myself excluded from events..now in mid 20s with no friends or ever having any sort of relationship...used to look at myself in the mirror and not know who I am..went docs who assigned me to a counsellor..1st session she told me to think about people in wheelchairs and are bed ridden...thanked her for her time and left feeling mortified...around 96 tried Regaine..worked brilliantly..thickened hair and restored hairline...this lifted me and maybe just maybe i had turned a corner..after 18 months it stopped working and slowly started to revert..i noticed a distinct bald patch in a security camera..ended up buying cans of Mane and was then trapped using that...after a year or two someone at work outed me touching the back of my head..it was an all male workplace so i was from then on known as the weirdo who puts schit in his hair..felt so miserable and alone and now passed age of 30 with an empty life..no friends..no girlfriend ever...used to lie in bed and wonder why...im not a bad person..just very quiet and shy...one day i got into a fight with lad at work who had been chipping away..he grassed to the boss and i ended up getting sacked after 10 years service...now out of work.and wondering how to pay rent and bills....after few months managed to find another menial job and decided to go see careers officer..retrained for a new profession...got a PC and signed up to a dating website...had a bit of interest but would chicken out of meeting up as what did i have to share..no experiences..never been abroad..what if they clock my schit hair..my confidence never high was feeling shot to hell...plus these women going out with a fella in mid 30s who hasnt even done the things should have been doing when he was 14 ...turned 40 and decided to have hairpiece fitted..have been wearing over 10 years...looks fairly convincing however have bad hair days plus i know its not real so reflect this externally by thinking people will know...
training paid off..now run my own business for last 10 years...dating website eventually went on a few dates...1st was disaster..2nd went out for few months.. they all felt empty and unfulfilling...3rd date lasted 11 years..we eventually married..however this is seperate thread in itself as i dont think i ever loved her..but now feel trapped with someone with no sense of humour and who nags...im 51 now and keep looking back at last 30 years thinking what could i have done to change things....