Functioning Depressive, Miserable Sad Lonely Loser Who Has Wasted Life

threadkilla

New Member
My Regimen
Long time lurker on here.

Since I was a kid I have never fitted in...had no friends or real interest in anything..always shy and withdrawn..left school and went on one of those govt schemes and ended up getting a job that I didnt feel suited to..always made mistakes and felt self conscious...after 3 years there fell into a deep depression..jacked job and made a pathetic attempt at suicide by necking a load of paracetemol..ended up spewing them back . .spent next 18 months out of work...didnt cut hair and grew beard..at 22 noticed slight recession and texture of hair had noticably changed..this started my long miserable obsession with my hair...had it cut short but it very slowly got worse...was thinner at the crown and recessed...didnt so much comb my hair as arrange it...after a year on managed to get a menial but quite well paid job...thought this would be a chance to make friends and maybe form some sort of social life but no..found myself excluded from events..now in mid 20s with no friends or ever having any sort of relationship...used to look at myself in the mirror and not know who I am..went docs who assigned me to a counsellor..1st session she told me to think about people in wheelchairs and are bed ridden...thanked her for her time and left feeling mortified...around 96 tried Regaine..worked brilliantly..thickened hair and restored hairline...this lifted me and maybe just maybe i had turned a corner..after 18 months it stopped working and slowly started to revert..i noticed a distinct bald patch in a security camera..ended up buying cans of Mane and was then trapped using that...after a year or two someone at work outed me touching the back of my head..it was an all male workplace so i was from then on known as the weirdo who puts schit in his hair..felt so miserable and alone and now passed age of 30 with an empty life..no friends..no girlfriend ever...used to lie in bed and wonder why...im not a bad person..just very quiet and shy...one day i got into a fight with lad at work who had been chipping away..he grassed to the boss and i ended up getting sacked after 10 years service...now out of work.and wondering how to pay rent and bills....after few months managed to find another menial job and decided to go see careers officer..retrained for a new profession...got a PC and signed up to a dating website...had a bit of interest but would chicken out of meeting up as what did i have to share..no experiences..never been abroad..what if they clock my schit hair..my confidence never high was feeling shot to hell...plus these women going out with a fella in mid 30s who hasnt even done the things should have been doing when he was 14 ...turned 40 and decided to have hairpiece fitted..have been wearing over 10 years...looks fairly convincing however have bad hair days plus i know its not real so reflect this externally by thinking people will know...

training paid off..now run my own business for last 10 years...dating website eventually went on a few dates...1st was disaster..2nd went out for few months.. they all felt empty and unfulfilling...3rd date lasted 11 years..we eventually married..however this is seperate thread in itself as i dont think i ever loved her..but now feel trapped with someone with no sense of humour and who nags...im 51 now and keep looking back at last 30 years thinking what could i have done to change things....
 

spring15

Senior Member
My Regimen
Sounds like you've had it rough, maybe you could have done things differently. You can't chose if you are born introverted or extroverted and there is only so much you can do to try change. On the bright side you are part of the 20% of the world's population living on more than $10 a day & you aren't apart of the nearly 50% living on less than $2.50 a day
 

karatekid

Experienced Member
My Regimen
I honestly dont understand why you feel that bad now. What does it matter what happened in the past? It is in the past, it's over, and it seems like you manage to get everything on track - you have a good job, you are in long term relationship (ye it's not perfect but just like for most people), and seems that even the hair thing is not bad with that hair piece, then what is exactly the problem now?
Looking back in regret is really pointless, it's irrational thing to do. I never do it cause I dont see the point of it, only thing that matters is where I am now and where im heading.
 

DoctorHouse

Senior Member
Long time lurker on here.

Since I was a kid I have never fitted in...had no friends or real interest in anything..always shy and withdrawn..left school and went on one of those govt schemes and ended up getting a job that I didnt feel suited to..always made mistakes and felt self conscious...after 3 years there fell into a deep depression..jacked job and made a pathetic attempt at suicide by necking a load of paracetemol..ended up spewing them back . .spent next 18 months out of work...didnt cut hair and grew beard..at 22 noticed slight recession and texture of hair had noticably changed..this started my long miserable obsession with my hair...had it cut short but it very slowly got worse...was thinner at the crown and recessed...didnt so much comb my hair as arrange it...after a year on managed to get a menial but quite well paid job...thought this would be a chance to make friends and maybe form some sort of social life but no..found myself excluded from events..now in mid 20s with no friends or ever having any sort of relationship...used to look at myself in the mirror and not know who I am..went docs who assigned me to a counsellor..1st session she told me to think about people in wheelchairs and are bed ridden...thanked her for her time and left feeling mortified...around 96 tried Regaine..worked brilliantly..thickened hair and restored hairline...this lifted me and maybe just maybe i had turned a corner..after 18 months it stopped working and slowly started to revert..i noticed a distinct bald patch in a security camera..ended up buying cans of Mane and was then trapped using that...after a year or two someone at work outed me touching the back of my head..it was an all male workplace so i was from then on known as the weirdo who puts schit in his hair..felt so miserable and alone and now passed age of 30 with an empty life..no friends..no girlfriend ever...used to lie in bed and wonder why...im not a bad person..just very quiet and shy...one day i got into a fight with lad at work who had been chipping away..he grassed to the boss and i ended up getting sacked after 10 years service...now out of work.and wondering how to pay rent and bills....after few months managed to find another menial job and decided to go see careers officer..retrained for a new profession...got a PC and signed up to a dating website...had a bit of interest but would chicken out of meeting up as what did i have to share..no experiences..never been abroad..what if they clock my schit hair..my confidence never high was feeling shot to hell...plus these women going out with a fella in mid 30s who hasnt even done the things should have been doing when he was 14 ...turned 40 and decided to have hairpiece fitted..have been wearing over 10 years...looks fairly convincing however have bad hair days plus i know its not real so reflect this externally by thinking people will know...

training paid off..now run my own business for last 10 years...dating website eventually went on a few dates...1st was disaster..2nd went out for few months.. they all felt empty and unfulfilling...3rd date lasted 11 years..we eventually married..however this is seperate thread in itself as i dont think i ever loved her..but now feel trapped with someone with no sense of humour and who nags...im 51 now and keep looking back at last 30 years thinking what could i have done to change things....
You can't change the past but you can change your future. You are never trapped. You have the option to either change your perspective that you are not alone( you have someone who obviously cared about you at some point) or be honest with her and end it. Just because you never lived your life like the average person doesn't make you a loser. That's your narrative based upon what you have brainwashed to believe. Move forward and write a new narrative where you can find your own happiness. The world is changing way too fast. If you live with regrets, you can never move forward. My list of regrets are up there with yours. Yet, I just have learned to live in the now. One day at a time.
 

Pigeon

Senior Member
My Regimen
You're a man and you're 51, that's still relatively young for a man if you're healthy and kept in shape that is. You also have your own business. I will assume you have money no?

Ok, divorce your nagging, old wife. Sell your business or try to make it as passive as possible by hiring the right people.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and enjoy the rest of your life. Go to south america, eastern europe, south east asia and have a big fck fest. But don't get attached to any of those girls of course, most will be gold diggers but that doesn't mean you can't have any fun.

If you want a real relationship that's also no problem but I would assume you don't have the need for another relationship after 11 years.

Have fun man, travel the world. Life is too short to stay with a nagging wife, feeling sorry for yourself. You can have a great life if you want.

Btw, nothing wrong with a hair system, they look great these days and I guarantee, 99,9% doesn't know it's fake.
 

doflamingo

Banned
My Regimen
Bald = ugly and old, no sex for you without marriage
plus:
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