Dating Advice For An Ugly Friend Of Mine

[JohnsonDDG]

Yesterday my 31 year old friend told me that he had never had sex with someone besides prostitutes. He told me that more than anything he wanted a relationship and to hopefully get married some day.

His problems are a little extensive but I will try to list them below.

Cons: 100lbs overweight, rotten teeth, not a great face, recovering alcoholic. slightly ginger.
Pros: Hugely intelligent, a full head, 6ft 2, well educated.

As he is now he is probably a 3 or maybe a 4, but if he lost some weight and improved his teeth he was easily be a 5.

He came to be for advice because he knows I've slept around in the past and I was honest enough to tell him that everyones experiences will differ. I asked him what his expecations was, did he hope to sleep with stunners, and he told me that he has very low standards but he is afraid of rejection.

My advice, which was not great, was to go on tinder, get some good pictures, and just play the numbers game. But the thing is, this works for me, but i'm not sure it will work for him.

Anyway, what should I have told him?

I really want to give him better advice next time - I just didn't want to depress him with too much red pill stuff because he is in recovery.

(will share an image of him in PM but not on here)

 

[CopeForLife]

Yesterday my 31 year old friend told me that he had never had sex with someone besides prostitutes. He told me that more than anything he wanted a relationship and to hopefully get married some day.

His problems are a little extensive but I will try to list them below.

Cons: 100lbs overweight, rotten teeth, not a great face, recovering alcoholic. slightly ginger.
Pros: Hugely intelligent, a full head, 6ft 2, well educated.

As he is now he is probably a 3 or maybe a 4, but if he lost some weight and improved his teeth he was easily be a 5.

He came to be for advice because he knows I've slept around in the past and I was honest enough to tell him that everyones experiences will differ. I asked him what his expecations was, did he hope to sleep with stunners, and he told me that he has very low standards but he is afraid of rejection.

My advice, which was not great, was to go on tinder, get some good pictures, and just play the numbers game. But the thing is, this works for me, but i'm not sure it will work for him.

Anyway, what should I have told him?

I really want to give him better advice next time - I just didn't want to depress him with too much red pill stuff because he is in recovery.

(will share an image of him in PM but not on here)

Please give me condition of his teeth. Photo will be nice.

I value teeth not less than hair.

Loosing weight is must have as well.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Please give me condition of his teeth. Photo will be nice.

I value teeth not less than hair.

Loosing weight is must have as well.

I'll PM it to you if you give feedback on this thread - just don't share the picture

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Cope, cant receive PM's - I'm gonna put the pics here and I will delete in 24 hrs

(Deleted personal pics of another person)

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Let's be real here, by your description of the guy, he will never get anything on Tinder, maybe a looksmatched 3/10 fat woman once in a blue moon but that's it.

I'm an above average guy, tall (6'3), fit, good skin, I have pictures of myself in exotic locations, and yet, once I'm in what I call 'cruise mode' on Tinder (takes a few weeks), I'll get roughly 2 dates a week with looksmatched (6/10) girls.

More often than not, my dates are a success: make-out, sex, casual relationship. In the end, you get what you deserve, as I always say, there are no miracles.

Telling this guy to go on Tinder in his state is terrible advice. Your first advice should be: lose the 50 kg, which is going to take up to a year, second advice (which can be implemented immediately) should be to get dental veneers.

There's no point trying your luck on the dating scene if you're not even willing to take care of your basics: healthy weight, good skin, good teeth, hygiene, fitting clothes, etc.

I'm just conscious how to word it because I don't want to hurt his feelings.

I figured someone is bound to like him because sometimes I see ugly guys with GFs.

Let me know how fucked he is from pics - maybe he can be a 5??

 

[SmoothSailing]

Cope, cant receive PM's - I'm gonna put the pics here and I will delete in 24 hrs

Tell him to focus on improving himself before playing the number game. Tinder will only depress him in his current state.

Lose weight, fix teeth, better haircut.

 

[CopeForLife]

Nothing unfixable ugly in his.

He can looksmax to 5.5 easily.

Haircut, teeth and loose weight.

If he is NT he could have sex with 4-5/10 with a little effort after manipulations above.

 

[CopeForLife]

Yes, I forgot about the hair cut.

And I forgot about glasses.

We're even.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

I expected worse:

He should lose the glasses, get fit, get fitting clothes and dental veneers.

And then he can hope to get some results on the dating scene.

He reminds me of that character in the French TV show 'H':

The guy was portrayed as an incel with bad breath.

It might be pretty hard saying that to him :/

Do you think if he changed these things he could date average women?

 

[CopeForLife]

That's an ultimate example how guy can improve himself with a medium effort.

After looksmax he will be that average and enjoy his ordinary life.

 

[Dench57]

Looksmax

Lose weight
Fix teeth
Ditch glasses
Stylish haircut

Easy easy easy

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Its crazy to think he's never had sex without a paid escort!

You'd think he would have managed at least a drunken romp once or twice in 31 years.

Its really sad - he's missed out on so much intimacy and amazing evenings with a woman.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Looksmaxing is the way, as others said (teeth, haircut, gym), he'll be average, with everything that goes with it.

As long as he has hair, he has hope. Not with 7/10 girls, of course, but he could get a 5-6/10 (after 100 attempts, maybe).

Even though there's no cure for being an incel, not even looksmaxing can save you.

Yeah, he said his problem is also psychological because he said he wont approach because he is terrified of rejection.

He's even frightened of rejection online which is pretty odd to me.

 

[Dench57]

Yeah, he said his problem is also psychological because he said he wont approach because he is terrified of rejection.

He's even frightened of rejection online which is pretty odd to me.

Not really surprising considering he's basically a 31 year old virgin

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Just tell him to give up on women. Just look at his face, and picture your friend trying to talk to a woman. Please. At least I'm honest with myself.

I understand but he says he really wants to get married and I think he could be a good husband.

He's worked very hard to get sober and I just want him to get what he wants.

 

[yetti]

I think he looks alright even now, based on the pics. A haircut and combing it right, fashion that suits him, and some measure of charisma, sure some girls could fall for him. If his teeth are yellow he could use whitestrips or similar and have white teeth in a few days, I dont think dental work is essential. Doing these things would work wonders. He could date girls that look normal and are good and smart people, assuming as you said that hes a good and smart person.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

It would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic. There's an image that can describe this.

If he truly is your friend, tell him he's screwed and that he should be honest with himself. Unless he wants to be humiliated, and suffer even more.

 

[SmoothSailing]

It would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic. There's an image that can describe this.

If he truly is your friend, tell him he's screwed and that he should be honest with himself. Unless he wants to be humiliated, and suffer even more.

Funny picture but I think this guy is only screwed if he doesn't put the effort in, he will have to put up with suffering and some humiliation though. It ain't easy.

 

[Dench57]

He could go from a 3 to a 5 with some effort, or at least try to before accepting a life of loneliness and eternal inceldom. He's a fullhead and his face isn't a f*****g trainwreck, that's all that matters

 

[Roberto_72]

@JohnsonDDG
I don't think it is a good idea to put online - even for 24 hours - the pictures of three people you know.
At least blur the people who have nothing to do with your friend's ugliness.
I deleted them.