Dating Advice For An Ugly Friend Of Mine

[cocohot]

Agreed. Tell him to go to the dentist or pretty much forget about getting a decent girlfriend/wife. I haven't seen his teeth (was late to the pics as always), but if he has missing or rotten teeth he needs to do something about it ASAP. Like others have said; looksmaxing is his best strategy here.

lol same.

 

[Exodus2011]

In defence of telling him to go on tinder - the reason I suggest it is because there is zero risk.

He has anxiety with approaching women so just swiping doesn't take any courage.

My thinking is that even if he could get one match a day then at least that's something

Kinda obtuse

You are still putting yourself out there and facing rejection

How is that zero ridiculous? Lol

Normie mode

 

[CopeForLife]

Its a weird thing with his teeth - he's had half of them pulled out, some are stubs, and the front ones are rotten, but he wont have them all pulled out for some false ones.

He also has a phobia of the dentist so that doesn't help.

I cant imagine anyone wanting to kiss him while hes in such a bad way

It is crucial to find a dentist you are comfortable with. Dentist shouldn't be too nice and too harsh – something in between.

Teeth fixing or treatment is not a walk in the park.

A few month ago I got my tooth nerve pulled out (root canal treatment) without anesthesia (by some reason) – it is hell and I even forgot about my hairloss (for a hour of so). I had another one pulled out with anesthesia and it wasn't painfull at all tho. I trusted to my dentist and it went quite smoothly eventually. I even got his whatsapp so I messaged him a few times when panicked because of swelling/pain.

Teeth problems poison life in same extent as hairloss, you cannot even enjoy food as before.

If he lacks of money I suggest him to visit Belarus – he can fix his teeth and perform a LASIK for a very cheap price. I bet there are a lot of review online. Ukraine can worth a shot as well.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Kinda obtuse

You are still putting yourself out there and facing rejection

How is that zero ridiculous? Lol

Normie mode

Yeah, its just swiping a finger - its not like he's doing it in real life where girls can laugh at him.

Anyway, I'm going to relay the advice you guys have given me whenever this issue comes up again and hopefully we can help him.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

We shouldn't waste more time, posts or memes with the guy.

Man, I cant believe you wont send me memes because I gave bad dating advice.

 

[Patrick_Bateman]

Yeah, its just swiping a finger - its not like he's doing it in real life where girls can laugh at him.

Anyway, I'm going to relay the advice you guys have given me whenever this issue comes up again and hopefully we can help him.

It's not like that for guys who aren't attractive. But, you don't seem to be able to put yourself in those shoes.
You wouldn't feel bad swiping hundreds of girls and getting zero matches?

 

[JohnsonDDG]

It's not like that for guys who aren't attractive. But, you don't seem to be able to put yourself in those shoes.
You wouldn't feel bad swiping hundreds of girls and getting zero matches?

Yeah, it would suck.

Just please remember that when he asked me for advice I didn't have a clue on what to say. I thought about the looks but its really hard telling someone to loose weight and dress better.

 

[Patrick_Bateman]

Yeah, it would suck.

Just please remember that when he asked me for advice I didn't have a clue on what to say. I thought about the looks but its really hard telling someone to loose weight and dress better.

Telling him actual good advice like losing weight and dressing better would help the guy. Yes, it would be hard for him to hear at first, but if he's actually your friend he would appreciate it. You can even mention that he's in a good spot considering his height and hair, I didn't see the pictures, but from what I read he had a good face aswell.
Going on tinder right now would probably just make the situation worse as he won't get any good matches, and that's going to obliterate the ounce of confidence he has in himself as a 30 year old virgin or whatever it was.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

You waste your time. He can't understand and he's unwilling to empathize with those people, ending up being disrespectful and obnoxious.



I did not merely "gave bad dating advice". But you don't get it, do you?

I get what you are saying - I just didn't know how to help the guy out.

He's depressed and only just got off the booze - I didn't know what to say to the guy so I told him to do online dating.

If you were in my shoes, what would you have done?

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Telling him actual good advice like losing weight and dressing better would help the guy. Yes, it would be hard for him to hear at first, but if he's actually your friend he would appreciate it. You can even mention that he's in a good spot considering his height and hair, I didn't see the pictures, but from what I read he had a good face aswell.
Going on tinder right now would probably just make the situation worse as he won't get any good matches, and that's going to obliterate the ounce of confidence he has in himself as a 30 year old virgin or whatever it was.

He's slept with a ton of escorts

 

[Patrick_Bateman]

He's slept with a ton of escorts

That doesn't count.

 

[SmoothSailing]

I get what you are saying - I just didn't know how to help the guy out.

He's depressed and only just got off the booze - I didn't know what to say to the guy so I told him to do online dating.

If you were in my shoes, what would you have done?

I probably would have said something similar. But you should be honest with him. Tell him it's tough. And that he will have to focus on self-improvement before he will have success. It's rare that people give advice more than "get yourself out there, be confident". But some guys, like this, need to be told that they have to improve on their looks.

I can understand the difficulty in telling a friend this. But it's what he needs to hear.

I'd tell him about when I started Tinder, with shitty pictures and no experience. And how depressing it was, getting no matches for days, and then no replies on the matches I did get. I'd tell him that I focused on improving myself, getting better pictures, and trying and trying until I got the hang of it. And it was only after that that I started having success. Remind him to have patience.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

I probably would have said something similar. But you should be honest with him. Tell him it's tough. And that he will have to focus on self-improvement before he will have success. It's rare that people give advice more than "get yourself out there, be confident". But some guys, like this, need to be told that they have to improve on their looks.

I can understand the difficulty in telling a friend this. But it's what he needs to hear.

I'd tell him about when I started Tinder, with shitty pictures and no experience. And how depressing it was, getting no matches for days, and then no replies on the matches I did get. I'd tell him that I focused on improving myself, getting better pictures, and trying and trying until I got the hang of it. And it was only after that that I started having success. Remind him to have patience.

Yeah, that sounds like a lot better advice!

I'm not sure now whether I should bring it up or wait until he mentions it again.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

I would have been honest, and told him about my own, personal experiences. He doesn't need a good-looking guy telling him to be confident and lift weights, he needs another below-average guy like himself telling him what his options really are and what happens to ugly, virgin incels trying to approach girls.

And also, he doesn't need a hypocritical """"friend"""" posting pictures of him without his permission on a public, internet forum.

Who said I was good looking?

I haven't put a picture of myself on here.

 

[SmoothSailing]

I would have been honest, and told him about my own, personal experiences. He doesn't need a good-looking guy telling him to be confident and lift weights, he needs another below-average guy like himself telling him what his options really are and what happens to ugly, virgin incels trying to approach girls.

And also, he doesn't need a hypocritical """"friend"""" posting pictures of him without his permission on a public, internet forum.

A few hours with you he'd probably be suicidal

Who said I was good looking?

I haven't put a picture of myself on here.

You're a NW3 that does well in dating my guess is you're average at least.

"My thinking is that even if he could get one match a day then at least that's something"

You seem to think that one match a day is a match rate that even incels can get.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

A few hours with you he'd probably be suicidal



You're a NW3 that does well in dating my guess is you're average at least.

"My thinking is that even if he could get one match a day then at least that's something"

You seem to think that one match a day is a match rate that even incels can get.

Correction - I'm a nw4 and I conceal as much as I can with toppik

 

[JohnsonDDG]

After a few shitty experiences with women and people, he'll get suicidal either way. Sooner or later makes no difference: he's beyond fucked. It's all about accepting it or suffering even more.

My friend is suicidal and fighting the booze battle - its really sad, a lot of the time I don't know what to say so I just listen.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Confirms that depression almost always has a cause.

Many times when I had my psychological problems (caused by hair loss), I was told that I had a dysfunction in my brain, that I was programmed to be unhappy.

A load of BS of course.

No girlfriend, close friends, stable job and hobbies that bring you happiness and purpose in life?

Even if it's just one of these, you will be depressed, no way around it.

Yeah I've been told by some blue-pill friends "you don't need a girlfriend to be happy, you just need to love yourself!"

Sex, affection, social acceptance and recognition, having passions are all basic human needs.

If you can't get any of the above, you might as well off yourself.

I think 'having passions' is the main one that keeps many of the unlucky members here going.

100% agree that external factors lead to depression in the majority of cases.

Two main times I've been depressed
- when I broke up with my girlfriend and I had nothing to do with my time all of sudden so I began to feel very lonely
- when I was unemployed for 4 months and had to live with my mum

 

[blackg]

After a few shitty experiences with women and people, he'll get suicidal either way. Sooner or later makes no difference: he's beyond fucked. It's all about accepting it or suffering even more.

Tell it like it is, Dante!

 

[EvilLocks]

Many times when I had my psychological problems (caused by hair loss), I was told that I had a dysfunction in my brain, that I was programmed to be unhappy.

A load of BS of course.

No girlfriend, close friends, stable job and hobbies that bring you happiness and purpose in life?

Even if it's just one of these, you will be depressed, no way around it.

I was told the same by my psychiatrists. According to them I needed to be medicated to 'correct' this dysfunction in my brain in order to be happy. I swallowed my pride and went on the medication, but have since stopped using antidepressants cold turkey. I found out the hard way they didn't help me or make me happy, so I did the only thing I could do in my situation; get a hair piece. Still not happy, but looking like I have hair beats those pills any day of the week. The only thing that would truly make me happy though, is getting my own hair back and living a normal and fulfilling life with family and friends around me. And who knows, maybe a significant other?