Why Is It So Hard To Find A Girlfriend?

[Ikarus]

What do you look like? PM me!

I am Middle Eastern, and I am aware with how difficult it is for Middle Eastern men to look good. Most of them have an average appearance... Although, the women are SO beautiful.

 

[Matt3535]

OP is handsome. Strong jaw, young, good face, I don't even know why you are on this forum since you have no hairloss. And not in the "Oh, it's just a NW1.5 hairloss" -- zero, nada. A literal puff of hair. Looks muscular next to his broys too.

On top of lying as pointed out by someone before, there must be something else going on. You got some nice replies here, i.e. by @keepcoolmybabies, which I would strongly agree with. If you really suffer as you say you do, follow and believe that advice.

But now I got the feeling there's something else going on. Some nice guy version of the Middle Eastern thing. OP definitely needs a reality check.

 

[BigOl'BaldingHead]

OP is handsome. Strong jaw, young, good face, I don't even know why you are on this forum since you have no hairloss. And not in the "Oh, it's just a NW1.5 hairloss" -- zero, nada. A literal puff of hair. Looks muscular next to his broys too.

On top of lying as pointed out by someone before, there must be something else going on. You got some nice replies here, i.e. by @keepcoolmybabies, which I would strongly agree with. If you really suffer as you say you do, follow and believe that advice.

But now I got the feeling there's something else going on. Some nice guy version of the Middle Eastern thing. OP definitely needs a reality check.

He has no sign of hairloss right now but has, according to him, a extremely aggressive family history with already alot of hair minituarisation which made him so proactive.

 

[Feanor]

Hey! Send me a PM! I am confident it's not as bad as you think.

 

[Oknow]

So I've seen his face and I can assure everyone here, that is not the problem. Definitely average/above average face imo.

But yeah race could be an issue + you're 5'8.

Racism in dating is stable or worsening, not improving, over time
OK Cupid analyzed racial dating data from 2009 and 2014 to evaluate if racism in dating changed over that time frame. They found that although people reported they are more open to dating people of other races over that time frame, racially motivated behaviors intensified over the same time frame.

Thus while it seems apparent people are becoming more interested in portraying themselves as less racially motivated, this is not manifesting in any changes to their actual dating behavior. If anything, their underlying racism has intensified.

One must wonder whether it is preferable to suffer racism that is openly acknowledged, or to falsely be told racism doesn't exist but still suffer from it anyway.

Quotes:

• OkCupid users are certainly no more open-minded than they used to be. If anything, racial bias has intensified a bit.
• One interesting thing is to compare [users' racial behaviors] with what those same users have told us about their racial attitudes.
• Answers to match questions have been getting significantly less biased over time [i.e. "Do you strongly prefer to date someone of your own race?" and "Is interracial marriage a bad idea?"]
• And yet the underlying behavior has stayed the same.

References:

• https://www.gwern.net/docs/psychology/okcupid/raceandattraction20092014.html

Across Europe, whites are most desired online, then Hispanics, Asians, Africans, and Arabs last
To assess racial preferences in Europe, researches analyzed anonymized profile and preference information of users registered at the eDarling online dating site. In an agreement with the company, data was accessed for all users in September 2011. Researchers performed their analyses on a total pooled sample of 58,880 heterosexual members drawn from an original sample of 876,658 heterosexual site users.

When filling in their dating profiles, users were offered the same list of racial choices in all nine countries studied, both in terms of own racial background and preferred race for partner. The question regarding partner’s race asked, "Of which ethnicity (or origin) do you want the person you are searching for to be?"

The seven categories offered were: European, African, Asian, Arabic, Indian, Hispanic (Latin American), or other. The Indian and Asian categories were combined into a broader Asian category and the other category was excluded as it could not be clear what it represented.

Based on a multivariate logistic regression model, controlling for education, gender, age, religion, marital history, importance of partner’s race, long-term dating intentions, type of membership, and country, a clear racial hierarchy emerged similar to the American data from the Yahoo Personals study above, with only a different rank position for blacks.

The racial hierarchy of desirability in this study across Europe was established as:

• White > Hispanic > Asian > Black > Middle Eastern

Quotes:

• A hierarchy of preferences emerges among both Europeans and minority groups. Europeans are the most preferred group and generally less willing to be matched with those from other races. In fact, unlike initially predicted, online daters of all racial backgrounds are more open to dating Europeans than their own group.
• Hispanics and Asians hold intermediate rankings, and finally, Arabs and Africans are the least preferred.

Reference:

• https://www.researchgate.net/public...es_in_Online_Dating_across_European_Countries

Women are more racist in online dating, and 92-95% with a "preference" exclude any ethnic men
Yahoo Personals Dating Preferences Study sought to examine the dating preferences of online daters in four major metropolitan areas: New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Atlanta. Internet daters' profiles of self-identified Asian, Black, Latino, and White men and women seeking opposite-sex dates were collected and coded from Yahoo Personals, which was the most popular national online dating web site in 2004 and 2005.

Women were considerably more likely than men to state they had a "racial preference". 74% of the 2735 women voiced a "racial preference", while 58% of the 2872 men voiced a "racial preference".

Among those women with a racial preference:

• When considering a man of a different race from their own: 95% excluded Indian men, 94% excluded middle eastern men, 92% excluded Asian men, 87% excluded black men, 69% excluded Latino men, and 42% excluded white men.
• The women who only wanted to date men of their own race were: 65% of white women, 45% of black women, 16.5% of Latino women, and 6% of Asian women.
• The women who excluded their own race were: 4% of white women, 8% of black women, 17% of Latino women, and 40% of Asian women.

Thus we can see that among this group, women employed a racial hierarchy for men in interracial dating of: White > Latino > Black > Asian > Middle Eastern > Indian. White women were the least likely to exclude their own race (4%) and most likely to only want their own race (65%). Asian women were most likely to exclude their own race (40%) and least likely to only want their own race (6%).

Women's interracial rejection rates of men were as follows:

• East Indian (95%) > Middle Eastern (94%) > Asian (92%) > Black (87%) > Latino (69%) > White (42%)

• https://www.icpsr.umich.edu/icpsrweb/ICPSR/studies/36347
• https://academic.oup.com/sf/article-abstract/89/3/807/2235576?redirectedFrom=fulltext
• https://imgur.com/A50EPt

A man's dating pool is set by his height; >94% of women will reject a man for being "too short"
Stulp et al (2013) used a sample of 5782 North American speed-daters making 128 104 choices to determine preferences for partner height and how height influenced the formation of a match. They found that women were most likely to choose a speed-dater 25 cm taller than themselves, whereas men were most likely to choose women only 7 cm shorter than themselves. As a consequence, matches were most likely at an intermediate height difference (19 cm) that differed significantly from the preferred height difference of both sexes.

Their data can be further analyzed to provide data about women's height cutoffs, the benefit of each inch of height for a man, and the degree of competition each man faces based on his height.

1) Cutoffs:

Their findings also demonstrated the cutoffs at which women consider a man too short or too tall:

• 90% of women will reject a man who is 5'4" based solely on his height.
• 65% of women will reject a man who is 5'7" based solely on his height.
• 50% of women will reject a man who is 5'8" based solely on his height.
• 14% of women will reject a man who is 5'10" based solely on his height.
• 1.5% of women will reject a man who is 6' based solely on his height.
• Past 6'2", women begin to increase rejections of men for being too tall.
• 30% of women believe there is no such thing as a man being "too tall."
• Over 94% of women will reject a man solely for him being too short.

2) Every Inch Counts:

Further analysis of their data demonstrates the importance of every inch of height for men, as two inches of height gain for a man can be found to have the following results:

• A man in the 5'4-5'6" range will have more than double the potential number of female partners with 2" height gain.
• eg. A 5'4" man will have 2.3 times as many potential female partners by gaining 2" height.
• A 5'7" man will have 1.86 times as many potential female partners by gaining 2" height.
• Benefits become insignificant past 5'10".
• Below 5'1" a 2" height gain also makes an insignificant difference, as even after 2" gain, a man at this height is still "too short" for most women to consider.

3) Competition:

Because the few women who are willing to date a shorter men are also generally willing to date a taller man as well, the competition for women willing to date shorter men becomes extremely high. This means:

• A 5' man must "beat" over 12 men (most of whom will be taller) to get a girl accepting of his height.
• A 5'4" man will have to "beat" over 7 other men (most of whom will be taller) to get a girl accepting of his height.
• 5'10 to 6'4" men have the least competition as the demand for these men outpaces their supply, and statistically overall women must compete for these men rather than vice versa.

Very depressing read.

I am east indian, and getting nowhere like the OP, plenty of dates, some lays, kisses but ultimately endless rejections.

Height is definitely a factor, I have heard girls explicitly say they like tall guys. Luckily, I am tall - 5ft 11'

 

[Oknow]

Ive asked out about 32 girls who I thought were interesting and they all rejected me. I have lots of friends and I am in Division 2 Soccer, I go out every night with a different group of buddies so I know my social skills are not holding me back. I am also doing very well in high school, I have a 4.46 weighted cumulative GPA in high school (with only 2 B's).

So around 9th grade I started asking girls out, I would ask my female friends if they had girls in mind. Ive asked out girls of all ethnicities and of heights from 5'0"-5'5". I'm almost convinced my face is the holding back feature in me not having a female partner. Im 5'8" and middle eastern as well so that doesn't help either considering girls I asked that have rejected me said they only date "white guys/guys 5'10" and above".

Even I had 2 of my parents friends ask me to date their daughters and when I got their numbers and started texting they were super nice to me! They were very responsive and everything went well until we got to meet up. In both cases it seemed as if as soon as they saw my face they were repulsed. They both tried to make excuses that they had to leave, etc.

Ive talked to a couple of physiatrists and people irl and they agreed that although looks isn't everything and attitude/personality is equally as important, they all said that my personality/attitude and other aspects of my life like socializing and sports and school are very good. They recommended to me that I look into plastic surgery as an option.

All my buddies have had multiple girlfriends and whenever the question comes up, why don't u have a girl? I always have to lie and say "oh she couldn't make it." Deep down I have always wanted a girlfriend who I could love and spend time with, most of my friends are now convinced that I'm a homosexual or I reject other girls.

I posted my face on reddit before and on other websites, and the responses I got were not so good. If you want I can PM you my face for whatever reason (to confirm my face is the issue, or if u don't believe me etc).

I posted a link to what others have previously rated my face but again if you don't believe me I can share in PM. https://imgur.com/a/5Slkq8p

EDIT: I had one sleepover f*** with a slag that has fucked tons of other guys and lasted less than 10 minutes. Other than that I have had NO other sexual relations. @Ikarus sorry If I came off as rude

OP, all I can recommend for you is to keep on trying.

Law of averages means you will meet a decent girl eventually, just will take longer than a more aesthetic guy. The thing is, all you will need is one to like you.

In the mean time, keep on working on yourself and creating value.

You also probably have to play the game a bit differently, be confident, but modest/not cocky.

As another poster wrote, get off the incel sites, it will f*** up your brain. One thing that is very unattractive for women is a lack of confidence irrespective of what race you are.

 

[Oknow]

What do you look like? PM me!

I am Middle Eastern, and I am aware with how difficult it is for Middle Eastern men to look good. Most of them have an average appearance... Although, the women are SO beautiful.

Middle eastern women are hot, are they fussy about dating middle eastern guys?

 

[Oknow]

Race is EXTREMELY important in a liberal dating market.

I agree, but with that said, there are plenty of girls out there who are open to interracial relationships. If white, it is usually those that have a fetish for darker skin from experience.

Last girl I had sex with that was white, exclusively dated black/asian men because she was really attracted to darker skin - she also watched interracial p**rn haha

 

[Oknow]

That's an outlier then. Statistics show that indian men do very bad with white women in general.

Watch this, warning though. Brutal.

haha, just watched the video - indian girls were less likely to go for indian guys, white girls were more open to them. The guy doing the commentary is a moron, been on plenty of dates with White girls - over 300 matches on the dating app I use, majority with white women.
For some reason I do better with them then girls of other races. What I have always seen with the one's that go on a date with me, they are the one's who have a dark skin fettish, and usually have previously dated other Indian guys/ethnic guys.

Race is like hair colour, some people like blondes, redheads, black hair etc.

I don't disagree with you when you say white guys have it the easiest, sure, I agree - if you are ethnic, the key is to be persistent.

 

[Oknow]

I'm happy for you bro. I have a lot of ethnic friends and they struggle very hard, if they're lucky with a white girl it's a fat one most of the time. Also a lot of white female golddiggers go for ethnics it seems.

Being an ethnic in the west is a big handicap in the dating market. When we see the other side of the coin, where being a white man outside of the west is a big plus in most parts of the world, even when that white man is poor.

Atleast, indian men still have arranged marriages.

Yeah, don’t get me wrong, I do agree with you and absolutely think it’s harder for ethnics, but not impossible. I’ve seen my white friends have it a lot easier.

The thing is, all you need is one decently looking girl to give you a shot, play the game long enough and she will come.

I’ve been matched with all sorts of white women, fat, slim, good looking and ugly. I actually struggle with Indian girls.

You get gold diggers in every race, don’t think it’s a white thing. Indian women for example are majorly status, and money driven.

 

[Ikarus]

I find it interesting how straight men find it hard to get into a relationship, even though there are heterosexuals everywhere. There's a higher chance that someone will be attracted to you. It's hard if you are gay, since you have to find someone who is gay and then find someone who is attracted to you. It's even harder finding a gay person who doesn't hate you for your conservative political stances... My chances of getting in a relationship? 0%!

 

[Oknow]

I find it interesting how straight men find it hard to get into a relationship, even though there are heterosexuals everywhere. There's a higher chance that someone will be attracted to you. It's hard if you are gay, since you have to find someone who is gay and then find someone who is attracted to you. It's even harder finding a gay person who doesn't hate you for your conservative political stances... My chances of getting in a relationship? 0%!

Reasons why I’m single :

- emotionally unavailable women

E.g. hung up over ex , death in family , depression

- lack of mental compatibility, despite physical attraction - don’t quite ‘click’ or on same wavelength despite physical attraction

- mental connection but no physical connection

- red flags , girl has an obnoxious personality with baggage

- I like her but she doesn’t like me or vice versa

That’s why Dating is hard. I don’t find it hard to get dates.

 

[Ikarus]

Reasons why I’m single :

- emotionally unavailable women

E.g. hung up over ex , death in family , depression

- lack of mental compatibility, despite physical attraction - don’t quite ‘click’ or on same wavelength despite physical attraction

- mental connection but no physical connection

- red flags , girl has an obnoxious personality with baggage

- I like her but she doesn’t like me or vice versa

That’s why Dating is hard. I don’t find it hard to get dates.

I can't even find anyone who isn't overly prideful about their sexuality, especially till the point that it becomes cringe-worthy. And most of the time, they are hardcore lefties who are insanely stupid. On top of that, they expect me to change my appearance to fit their likings, which I find ridiculous. I am naturally feminine, and it's hard for me to look even slightly manly. I even tried growing a beard (before laser hair removal), and I got referred to as 'lady'.

 

[Ikarus]

Lol, I always thought gays had it super easy.

Especially when I look at the statistics of how many bed partners gay men have in comparison to hetero males

That's the issue, it's just bed partners. They just go on Grindr and find any walking STD from that landfill of an app to pursue their horniness. I have been on that app, and the amount of men who look like they just escaped the hands of Chris Hansen is insanely creepy...

 

[Oknow]

I can't even find anyone who isn't overly prideful about their sexuality, especially till the point that it becomes cringe-worthy. And most of the time, they are hardcore lefties who are insanely stupid. On top of that, they expect me to change my appearance to fit their likings, which I find ridiculous. I am naturally feminine, and it's hard for me to look even slightly manly. I even tried growing a beard (before laser hair removal), and I got referred to as 'lady'.

You just haven't found the right person, you will know when you do find her, everything will flow naturally. It is beautiful when that happens.

In the mean time, keep putting yourself out there and meet as many people as possible.

 

[Ikarus]

You just haven't found the right person, you will know when you do find her, everything will flow naturally. It is beautiful when that happens.

In the mean time, keep putting yourself out there and meet as many people as possible.

I'm not straight... It's not as easy as if you are straight lmao

 

[Capone]

It’s all about the face.. a good looking,built, cocky 5’8 lad will do much better than a gimpy, 6’1 nerd who’s built like a pipe cleaner.

 

[DHTcel]

OP is handsome. Strong jaw, young, good face, I don't even know why you are on this forum since you have no hairloss. And not in the "Oh, it's just a NW1.5 hairloss" -- zero, nada. A literal puff of hair. Looks muscular next to his broys too.

On top of lying as pointed out by someone before, there must be something else going on. You got some nice replies here, i.e. by @keepcoolmybabies, which I would strongly agree with. If you really suffer as you say you do, follow and believe that advice.

But now I got the feeling there's something else going on. Some nice guy version of the Middle Eastern thing. OP definitely needs a reality check.

bro im not a liar, the only people that have complimented me on my looks is my mom and thats when I have to ask her.

yeah I caught my hairloss early, and its mainly my crown bro.

I didn't lie, I had to pay to sleep with a girl because my virginity was driving me crazy. I'm sorry.

 

[BeHereNow]

There’s no such thing as “racism”, it’s just a word invented to delegitimise white ethnocentrism. Every ethnic group on earth is ethnocentric, but only whites are castigated for it. People displaying a wholly natural preference for dating among their own ethnic group is entirely predictable. It’s only perceived as a problem because so many nonwhites insist on living in white countries.

 

[BeHereNow]

why do u suspect girls have such a racial preference? personally I and most other guys don't really give a crap about race. Usually the only things I care about is that the girl is decent looking and isn't super fat.

It’s called in-group preference. Humans are biologically wired to procreate among their own kind in order to sustain their group. That’s why coal burners are so disdained.