Hi all!
First time poster here, although it must be said I’m just about the lurkiest lurker that ever lurked! Before I get going, I just wanted to say how amazing it is that particular posters on here give so much of their time to patiently answer all questions and concerns that folks have, and do so with compassion and kind words. So many internet forums make a huge deal over repeated questions, but for hair loss, and the process of dealing with it, so many people need to have their fears and anxieties addressed before they can move forward.
So, my story. I have been mulling over the idea of getting a hair system for three years. I have been to many salons for initial discussions, and recently decided that Mens Hair 2 Go in London was my ideal place. The pictures in their gallery looked good, and not to unrealistic (I’m assuming the guys with walls of hair for hairlines asked for that!). I had my initial measure up done in October, but waited until July (I’m a teacher, so the summer holidays were ideal) to have it fitted.
Before I went in, I was super nervous. I couldn’t get my head around the fact that I was going to go and get a wig stuck to my head. But I swallowed my fears and went for it. The atmosphere was very friendly, and my stylist, Salvo was enthusiastic about getting me the best results, so I came to feel at ease. Even during the process, when my head was shaved down, revealing the horseshoe and dome that I had spent most of my adult life trying to avoid, I felt comfortable and ready for my system. I must say, I put this down to the fact that I had done so much research on what was going to happen. Nothing came as a surprise to me at all, so there were no nasty shocks. I even took a few silly selfies while I was left to my own devices in the salon!
What followed was, despite all the research and knowledge, quite scary. The piece was glued on and Salvo went to work. After a while, I was left with the most enormous dead animal sitting on top of my head, apparently in the style that I had asked for! Salvo noticed the look on my face, and asked if it was too long or too dense. I nodded, so he went to town again, trying to shape the dead animal into something more fashionable.
In the end, he stopped, and although the beast was tamed slightly, I still felt quite sick. It was heavy and bulky, and so dense I felt like I was wearing one of those helmets that the queen’s guard wear. I walked out of the salon with an awful sense that I had messed up big time. I had told myself that today was the day that I would make a big change – I would either become a card-carrying wig-wearer, or I would out myself as balding after so many years of concealers. At that stage, I was certain it would be the latter.
I was quite smart about this process though, and had booked myself a nice holiday all on my own to Scotland, where I knew I could get used to the system before revealing it to the world. At least there I would be able to give the thing a trial run before making a decision. I had even brought my suitcase along to the salon! I had a hotel booked in London for the first night, simply so I did not have to face my housemates. Off I went, and checked in, and spent the next hour or so gazing in the mirror.
It just felt so wrong. The back, especially, felt like I was wearing a cap, and the front was already lifting (I knew I needed the stronger glue! I sweat like a mother-). So on the first night, I had to glue down the hairline. This was incredibly difficult, and the glue they gave me was really stringy, so I got a lot in the front hair. I managed to get it down, just, and continued to analyse. Gradually, I grew more used to how it looked, and even took a couple of selfies that were fairly flattering. Salvo had, in fact, done an excellent job of recreating the style that I had asked for. It’s just that it was perhaps not the style that I should have requested for what was supposed to be my ‘transitional’ piece.
The next day I whacked a hat on (the one I had told Salvo I wouldn’t be needing!) and got on a coach to Edinburgh. It was an overnight coach, and I couldn’t sleep in the hat I had brought, so I had to expose my hair to the world. Everywhere I went, I thought people were laughing at me. I felt for all the world as though I was wearing the most obvious wig, and that I had, overnight, become a laughing stock. I managed to get some sleep on the coach, but at one point fell asleep with my head resting against the seat in front. Big mistake! I woke up in the cold light of day with the system peeled right back and sticking upwards! Major embarrassment!!!!
The next few days were spent camping in the wilderness. It was a tricky way to do it, but I don’t regret it, as I had all the space and time to sort myself out when I needed to, and a hat for emergencies. On the second night, after another dodgy glue session, I ventured out in public again. Once again, I felt like all eyes were on me. The barmaid and barman were laughing all night, no doubt at something else, but I was convinced it was me they were joking about. Still, I stuck it out and had something to eat and a drink. It was uncomfortable, but a necessary step in my life as a hair wearer.
Over the course of the trip, my anxiety died down. I made a point of being in public with no hat on, and I gradually came to realise just how little people were taking note. Part of me wonders if perhaps there were people that noticed on that first night, but that they noticed because I was acting like there was something to notice. As I relaxed, I began to enjoy life under my new hair.
The holiday finished and I made my way back to London, hatless but full of anxiety over my friends and family seeing me. The first obstacle would be my former workmates. I had agreed to go for drinks with them as soon as I was back in London. Fortunately, they hadn’t seen me for a few weeks, so this would be an easier transition that some. I circled the bar several times, waiting to pluck up the courage to go inside. When I finally did, I ensured that I looked happy and enthusiastic to be there. There were a couple of double takes, but generally it was a normal greeting. A very good friend of mine seemed slightly more fixated than others, and when we were at the bar, he said “Your hair man! I’ve never seen it like this! It looks really good!”
We chatted for a while, and I played down the new style as the effects of camping and not washing (it was shaggy and unkempt, not in the style that Salvo had managed!). When I got back to the table, another of my friends approached me.
“Your hair looks much better longer!” he said, reaching out to touch. I flinched slightly, but allowed him to run his fingers through it. “Makes you look much younger, we’ve all been saying how good it looks while you were at the bar!”
This made me feel great, and certainly allayed a lot of my fears. That said, the guy whose leaving drinks it was did a double take and said nothing. He’s a fellow hairloss sufferer, and I think he’s used concealers a lot in the past, so I wonder if he knew. I do think that if you’re going to be sniffed out, it’s bound to be on a ‘takes one to know one’ basis. If he did notice, I frankly didn’t mind. That’s a key point of all of this really. The only people who will ever tell it’s a system are people who know what systems are. And to know what a system is, you have to have researched them. Who knows? Maybe he’ll consider getting his own after seeing mine.
So at the end of the evening, I skipped merrily (I’d had a few jars!) home, fortunately before my housemate got in from his night shift. I’d had enough for one day, and preferred to save the big reveal to him until the morning. I went straight to bed so I would be asleep when he got home.
The next morning I was racked with nerves. Revealing my system to a few mates who I hadn’t seen in a while was one thing, but this guy knows me well and sees me every day. He also doesn’t mince his words, so any suspicion he had would surely lead to challenging questions. I ‘slept in’ until almost 1pm as I didn’t want to see him. In the end, I ventured downstairs, and he was there making tea.
And there it was. The strangest thing. He said nothing. He took no second glances. The man I have lived with for three years, through the absolute arse-end of my hairloss struggle, and he didn’t even look twice. We chatted for an hour about my holiday. I told him I’d lost weight with all the walking to attempt to extract some sort of comment about the change in my appearance. Nothing.
And that’s where I am now. Challenges ahead:
My family – they will surely tell, and I don’t really mind, but I’m going to see their reaction first. I’m certain they won’t know it’s a wig, but I’m strangely curious about what sorts of questions they will ask.
My friends – some I’ve known for years, and who will certainly see a change. What will they think? Will they suspect?
Work – I’m back to work in September, and I’m avoiding social meetups with colleagues at all costs (some are getting rather annoyed at my reluctance to meet!). There is the added issue of the children too! I teach in a Primary School, and I am so curious to see what they have to say! They will certainly see a difference in my appearance, but are they clued up enough to notice it’s my hair? Interestingly, working with kids was probably the reason I did this. Adults find a means of not staring at barely concealed baldness, but a kid will just gawp at you! One girl, when standing behind me while I was sitting (with a fantastic view of the back of my head!) told me it was time to shave my hair!
So, how am I feeling? Well all in all I’m pretty happy. The argument over whether the system stays or goes is over and I’m keeping it. I can’t get the hairline right yet, and I’m still at the beginning of the learning curve, but if I feel ok now, then things can surely only get better! I am still sad for the dead animal though, it didn’t have much chance to live before being strapped to my head.
Things I learnt:
- Glue! If you have the wrong one, it will not stick!!!!!! Buy lots of different ones, and don’t fall for the salon’s line that one will fit all.
- Knowledge is power! The thought of going through this process without the body of knowledge that I have behind me is utterly terrifying. I was able to answer my own questions as I went along, and that alleviated almost all of my anxieties.
- If you have an itch and you scratch the system, hair will fall out! And yes, it does itch under the system!!! Perhaps this goes away in time, but be prepared for it!
- If you put glue directly on the system (as the salon told me to do!) it will go through the lace and onto the hair – be warned!!!!!!
- Thin-skin does not feel thin when it’s glued to your head. I’m getting full lace next time. It is also detectable around the edge, which means you have to be very careful before going out to ensure your hair is covering it.
- Getting away from friends and family for the initial part of the process was the best thing I did. That space and time to get to grips with the system was just what I needed.
Things I need to know:
- I have no idea how to get my hairline right. A step-by-step would be greatly appreciated
- Any tips on playing sport and exercise would also be hugely appreciated
- I’m also an avid scuba diver. I have found little advice on this, but would be devastated if I couldn’t dive with the system, and I’m talking week-long live-aboard holidays. Please, if you have done anything like this, let me know how it went and what you did. This is the only major sticking point for me so above all else I would hugely appreciate any input.
Anyways, long post! I will keep you updated on the family and friend meetings. If you’ve read this far, well done!!! P
First time poster here, although it must be said I’m just about the lurkiest lurker that ever lurked! Before I get going, I just wanted to say how amazing it is that particular posters on here give so much of their time to patiently answer all questions and concerns that folks have, and do so with compassion and kind words. So many internet forums make a huge deal over repeated questions, but for hair loss, and the process of dealing with it, so many people need to have their fears and anxieties addressed before they can move forward.
So, my story. I have been mulling over the idea of getting a hair system for three years. I have been to many salons for initial discussions, and recently decided that Mens Hair 2 Go in London was my ideal place. The pictures in their gallery looked good, and not to unrealistic (I’m assuming the guys with walls of hair for hairlines asked for that!). I had my initial measure up done in October, but waited until July (I’m a teacher, so the summer holidays were ideal) to have it fitted.
Before I went in, I was super nervous. I couldn’t get my head around the fact that I was going to go and get a wig stuck to my head. But I swallowed my fears and went for it. The atmosphere was very friendly, and my stylist, Salvo was enthusiastic about getting me the best results, so I came to feel at ease. Even during the process, when my head was shaved down, revealing the horseshoe and dome that I had spent most of my adult life trying to avoid, I felt comfortable and ready for my system. I must say, I put this down to the fact that I had done so much research on what was going to happen. Nothing came as a surprise to me at all, so there were no nasty shocks. I even took a few silly selfies while I was left to my own devices in the salon!
What followed was, despite all the research and knowledge, quite scary. The piece was glued on and Salvo went to work. After a while, I was left with the most enormous dead animal sitting on top of my head, apparently in the style that I had asked for! Salvo noticed the look on my face, and asked if it was too long or too dense. I nodded, so he went to town again, trying to shape the dead animal into something more fashionable.
In the end, he stopped, and although the beast was tamed slightly, I still felt quite sick. It was heavy and bulky, and so dense I felt like I was wearing one of those helmets that the queen’s guard wear. I walked out of the salon with an awful sense that I had messed up big time. I had told myself that today was the day that I would make a big change – I would either become a card-carrying wig-wearer, or I would out myself as balding after so many years of concealers. At that stage, I was certain it would be the latter.
I was quite smart about this process though, and had booked myself a nice holiday all on my own to Scotland, where I knew I could get used to the system before revealing it to the world. At least there I would be able to give the thing a trial run before making a decision. I had even brought my suitcase along to the salon! I had a hotel booked in London for the first night, simply so I did not have to face my housemates. Off I went, and checked in, and spent the next hour or so gazing in the mirror.
It just felt so wrong. The back, especially, felt like I was wearing a cap, and the front was already lifting (I knew I needed the stronger glue! I sweat like a mother-). So on the first night, I had to glue down the hairline. This was incredibly difficult, and the glue they gave me was really stringy, so I got a lot in the front hair. I managed to get it down, just, and continued to analyse. Gradually, I grew more used to how it looked, and even took a couple of selfies that were fairly flattering. Salvo had, in fact, done an excellent job of recreating the style that I had asked for. It’s just that it was perhaps not the style that I should have requested for what was supposed to be my ‘transitional’ piece.
The next day I whacked a hat on (the one I had told Salvo I wouldn’t be needing!) and got on a coach to Edinburgh. It was an overnight coach, and I couldn’t sleep in the hat I had brought, so I had to expose my hair to the world. Everywhere I went, I thought people were laughing at me. I felt for all the world as though I was wearing the most obvious wig, and that I had, overnight, become a laughing stock. I managed to get some sleep on the coach, but at one point fell asleep with my head resting against the seat in front. Big mistake! I woke up in the cold light of day with the system peeled right back and sticking upwards! Major embarrassment!!!!
The next few days were spent camping in the wilderness. It was a tricky way to do it, but I don’t regret it, as I had all the space and time to sort myself out when I needed to, and a hat for emergencies. On the second night, after another dodgy glue session, I ventured out in public again. Once again, I felt like all eyes were on me. The barmaid and barman were laughing all night, no doubt at something else, but I was convinced it was me they were joking about. Still, I stuck it out and had something to eat and a drink. It was uncomfortable, but a necessary step in my life as a hair wearer.
Over the course of the trip, my anxiety died down. I made a point of being in public with no hat on, and I gradually came to realise just how little people were taking note. Part of me wonders if perhaps there were people that noticed on that first night, but that they noticed because I was acting like there was something to notice. As I relaxed, I began to enjoy life under my new hair.
The holiday finished and I made my way back to London, hatless but full of anxiety over my friends and family seeing me. The first obstacle would be my former workmates. I had agreed to go for drinks with them as soon as I was back in London. Fortunately, they hadn’t seen me for a few weeks, so this would be an easier transition that some. I circled the bar several times, waiting to pluck up the courage to go inside. When I finally did, I ensured that I looked happy and enthusiastic to be there. There were a couple of double takes, but generally it was a normal greeting. A very good friend of mine seemed slightly more fixated than others, and when we were at the bar, he said “Your hair man! I’ve never seen it like this! It looks really good!”
We chatted for a while, and I played down the new style as the effects of camping and not washing (it was shaggy and unkempt, not in the style that Salvo had managed!). When I got back to the table, another of my friends approached me.
“Your hair looks much better longer!” he said, reaching out to touch. I flinched slightly, but allowed him to run his fingers through it. “Makes you look much younger, we’ve all been saying how good it looks while you were at the bar!”
This made me feel great, and certainly allayed a lot of my fears. That said, the guy whose leaving drinks it was did a double take and said nothing. He’s a fellow hairloss sufferer, and I think he’s used concealers a lot in the past, so I wonder if he knew. I do think that if you’re going to be sniffed out, it’s bound to be on a ‘takes one to know one’ basis. If he did notice, I frankly didn’t mind. That’s a key point of all of this really. The only people who will ever tell it’s a system are people who know what systems are. And to know what a system is, you have to have researched them. Who knows? Maybe he’ll consider getting his own after seeing mine.
So at the end of the evening, I skipped merrily (I’d had a few jars!) home, fortunately before my housemate got in from his night shift. I’d had enough for one day, and preferred to save the big reveal to him until the morning. I went straight to bed so I would be asleep when he got home.
The next morning I was racked with nerves. Revealing my system to a few mates who I hadn’t seen in a while was one thing, but this guy knows me well and sees me every day. He also doesn’t mince his words, so any suspicion he had would surely lead to challenging questions. I ‘slept in’ until almost 1pm as I didn’t want to see him. In the end, I ventured downstairs, and he was there making tea.
And there it was. The strangest thing. He said nothing. He took no second glances. The man I have lived with for three years, through the absolute arse-end of my hairloss struggle, and he didn’t even look twice. We chatted for an hour about my holiday. I told him I’d lost weight with all the walking to attempt to extract some sort of comment about the change in my appearance. Nothing.
And that’s where I am now. Challenges ahead:
My family – they will surely tell, and I don’t really mind, but I’m going to see their reaction first. I’m certain they won’t know it’s a wig, but I’m strangely curious about what sorts of questions they will ask.
My friends – some I’ve known for years, and who will certainly see a change. What will they think? Will they suspect?
Work – I’m back to work in September, and I’m avoiding social meetups with colleagues at all costs (some are getting rather annoyed at my reluctance to meet!). There is the added issue of the children too! I teach in a Primary School, and I am so curious to see what they have to say! They will certainly see a difference in my appearance, but are they clued up enough to notice it’s my hair? Interestingly, working with kids was probably the reason I did this. Adults find a means of not staring at barely concealed baldness, but a kid will just gawp at you! One girl, when standing behind me while I was sitting (with a fantastic view of the back of my head!) told me it was time to shave my hair!
So, how am I feeling? Well all in all I’m pretty happy. The argument over whether the system stays or goes is over and I’m keeping it. I can’t get the hairline right yet, and I’m still at the beginning of the learning curve, but if I feel ok now, then things can surely only get better! I am still sad for the dead animal though, it didn’t have much chance to live before being strapped to my head.
Things I learnt:
- Glue! If you have the wrong one, it will not stick!!!!!! Buy lots of different ones, and don’t fall for the salon’s line that one will fit all.
- Knowledge is power! The thought of going through this process without the body of knowledge that I have behind me is utterly terrifying. I was able to answer my own questions as I went along, and that alleviated almost all of my anxieties.
- If you have an itch and you scratch the system, hair will fall out! And yes, it does itch under the system!!! Perhaps this goes away in time, but be prepared for it!
- If you put glue directly on the system (as the salon told me to do!) it will go through the lace and onto the hair – be warned!!!!!!
- Thin-skin does not feel thin when it’s glued to your head. I’m getting full lace next time. It is also detectable around the edge, which means you have to be very careful before going out to ensure your hair is covering it.
- Getting away from friends and family for the initial part of the process was the best thing I did. That space and time to get to grips with the system was just what I needed.
Things I need to know:
- I have no idea how to get my hairline right. A step-by-step would be greatly appreciated
- Any tips on playing sport and exercise would also be hugely appreciated
- I’m also an avid scuba diver. I have found little advice on this, but would be devastated if I couldn’t dive with the system, and I’m talking week-long live-aboard holidays. Please, if you have done anything like this, let me know how it went and what you did. This is the only major sticking point for me so above all else I would hugely appreciate any input.
Anyways, long post! I will keep you updated on the family and friend meetings. If you’ve read this far, well done!!! P
