How has male pattern baldness effected your life? The "best" story wins a priz

mj9

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My Regimen
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ok so just a quick story to sum up how male pattern baldness f*cked up your life!

p.s. there is no prize so dont get too excited!
 

DoctorHouse

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It caused me to become obsessed with logging into hair loss forums everyday. I now have an unhealthy addiction..................................... :innocent:
 

amsch

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DoctorHouse said:
It caused me to become obsessed with logging into hair loss forums everyday. I now have an unhealthy addiction..................................... :innocent:

Same for me. I REALLY wish i wouldn't have to be here.
 

Starseed

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Cost me lotsa money when, after watching it develop to a Norwood 5 over the years, I finally got a transplant. Very expensive. But WORTH EVERY F*CKING PENNY, folks.
Smileythumbsup.gif
 

The Gardener

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I don't know what it is, but I can't get the Norwood scale off of my mind.

From the time that I go to bed, to the time that I wake up, I always think about the Norwood scale.

I would love a Norwood scale.

But I can't have one.

I want a Norwood scale so I can pin it on my wall instead of my Pamela Anderson poster.

The Norwood scale makes me feel complete.

You can do a lot of things with a Norwood scale.

You can look at it.

you can walk up to it, look at it closely or you can look at it from afar.

When your parents visit, you can show them your Norwood scale.

You can look at it. Show them it.

If you have a girlfriend, you can take her to your room and give her a full run down of the Norwood scale.

You can both gaze it open mouthed in astonishment.

You can do lots of things with a Norwood scale.

Sometimes I look at my room, and think to myself â€If I didn’t have these 16 Norwood scales on my wall†my life wouldn’t be complete.

I'm a really keen about the Norwood scale.

I get so excited and I just can’t hide it.

I sometimes cream my pants when I view the Norwood scale.

The other day I was watching a programme with my parents when someone on the tele mentioned the word "Norwood".

I got the wrong idea.

I thought they were talking about the Norwood scale.

So I started jumping up and down pulling a retarded face enthusiastically shouting "Norwood, Norwood, norwood"

I'm really keen to what the Norwood scale has to offer.

Sometimes I like to dress up as the Norwood scale.

I cut up an old cereal box, pull out my crayons and scribble "Norwood scale" on it.

Then I stick it on my head.

I then think to myself - my life’s complete, because I'm the Norwood scale.

I'm not going to let anyone tell me otherwise!

Sometimes I feel really daring, because I open my front door, stand on my door-step, and whilst pulling a dumb face, I proudly shout "I'm the Norwood scale" then run back in doors and laugh to myself like a complete retard.

I'm the coolest person in my street.

I feel really hip.

I'm really the Norwood scale.

wow

Look at me, I'm the Norwood scale.

Without the Norwood scale, I wouldn’t be here today.

No! I'm not a loser at all, I'm the Norwood scale. Look at me.

Sometimes I pull a hunchback, gaze in the mirror and think "Who needs money babes and hair" Why?

because I’m the Norwood scale, wow.

Then I roll around on the floor doing the Norwood groove.

When I go to the nightclubs. I don't dance like everyone else.

I pull out my Ken mask, place it firmly on my head and do the Norwood groove.

I feel really hip, wearing my ken mask. It adds to the way the Norwood groove works.

The Norwood groove has really made me open up.

I now feel I can discuss anything with anyone.

I’m not losing the plot at all.

The Norwood scale keeps me going.

I’ve only creamed my pants twice in the last 3 days over the Norwood scale.

Norwood scale

Norwood scale.

Wow, it’s the Norwood scale

-- Gunner
viewtopic.php?f=11&t=8024
 

The Gardener

Senior Member
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Here's another one, folks:

I work in the horse racing industry and had to assist someone on a presentation on horse racing equipment.

It was a presentation in front of 100+ people, who were dressed in shirt and tie.

I couldn’t afford anything to go wrong.

As I say, it was a big day.

It all started at 11am.

I made my way to the hall with my boss who told me the presentation was about to begin in 5 minutes.

I felt nervous.

I then went to the toilet.

When I got there, I checked the mirror to see if my Couvre induced hairline was still intact.

Everything was fine.

I made my way back to the hall to join my boss of whom I was assisting in the presentation about horse racing equipment.

It had begun.

All I had to do was be quiet and hold up and show the audience a series of items that corresponded with what my boss was talking about.

Nothing could go wrong.

We spoke about everything to do with horse racing.

We had just finished a description on racing stirrups when we had to move onto the final piece.

All of a sudden my boss turned to me and asked

“Ok, can you please show them the horse-shoeâ€

I paused for a moment.

I looked at my boss in a questionable way.

I looked puzzled.

It was still quiet.

So my boss asked again.

“Ok, can you please show them the…… â€

Before he finished the sentence, I grimaced like a troll, thrusted my head forward to the audience, pulled out a torch from my pocket and shined it onto my head revealing the most ugliest horse-shoe pattern ever seen.

Then in a 'slow-guy' voice and with saliva dripping from my mouth, I shouted “I'm quite proud of my Bosley Hair transplant!â€

All of a sudden, everyone started to puke.

This kicked off a barrage of pukes - everyone was puking on one another.

Everything was going wrong.

My boss began to shout at me.

I fell to the floor in shock.

I started to feel the floor with my hands.

As I fell, my travel size toppik fell out of my pocket.

Everything was out of control.

Ambulances could be heard in the background, trains were crashing in the streets, planes were spiralling out of control in the skies above.

My boss just stood there staring at me in utter disbelief at what he had just witnessed.

That’s when I trounced my pants and started to cry my eyes out.

My Norwood 3v had just triggered off world war 3.

-- Gunner
viewtopic.php?f=41&t=8103
 

Sean68

Senior Member
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its the lack of control that annoys me more than the process itself.

...pass the prozaic.
 

ghg

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My Regimen
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It triggered my BDD for sure. It has made my life harder in general. I was one of those "at least I'll never go bald" -types so it hit me like a ton of bricks to hear that I was going bald at 23.
 

Doug Douglas

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Ahhh, Gunner. I wonder whatever happened to him. Last time I remember reading his posts, several years ago, he was still living with his parents, unemployed, refusing to leave the house. I hope hairloss is less debilitating for him than it was. He was kind of the worst-case-scenario of someone who's afflicted with male pattern baldness. I'm surprised he never came back after the last time he was banned, he just... disappeared. Which is too bad. It's always the trolls who come back again, and again, and again.
 

mj9

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well when i had a full head of hair i was successful at uni, got a good job and then male pattern baldness hit me and now i am depressed, not confident, i feel people who have a full head of hair are better than me, i dont like going out, i wear caps, i left my job and made a stupid decision to take up another job but it didnt work out so i quit.... now i am unemployed, i sold my fancy car and drive a banger, i dont like leaving the house, i have fell out with lots of my good friends, i am aggressive, i cant be arsed going to the gym and i have went from having super fit body to an ok body but i cant seem to motivate myself to work out at the gym so i will no doubt end up like a fat slob in a few years....

i was easily an 8 or 9 when i had hair and now i feel like a 4 or a 5...

i also dont know why my girl friend puts up with me!!!

oh and i am always on this damn forum!!!! and i will be back again and again and again and again......

male pattern baldness should be classed as a serious illness and all hairloss drugs and hair transplant's should be free on the NHS!!!
 

ghg

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mj9 said:
well when i had a full head of hair i was successful at uni, got a good job and then male pattern baldness hit me and now i am depressed, not confident, i feel people who have a full head of hair are better than me, i dont like going out, i wear caps, i left my job and made a stupid decision to take up another job but it didnt work out so i quit.... now i am unemployed, i sold my fancy car and drive a banger, i dont like leaving the house, i have fell out with lots of my good friends, i am aggressive, i cant be arsed going to the gym and i have went from having super fit body to an ok body but i cant seem to motivate myself to work out at the gym so i will no doubt end up like a fat slob in a few years....

i was easily an 8 or 9 when i had hair and now i feel like a 4 or a 5...

i also dont know why my girl friend puts up with me!!!

oh and i am always on this damn forum!!!! and i will be back again and again and again and again......

male pattern baldness should be classed as a serious illness and all hairloss drugs and hair transplant's should be free on the NHS!!!

Get a grip.
 

mj9

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oh and i bought a convertible and my male pattern baldness hit me so aggressivly that i didnt even put the roof down even once cause my hair looked so bad.... obviously had to sell it....
 

ali777

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ghg said:
mj9 said:
well when i had a full head of hair i was successful at uni, got a good job and then male pattern baldness hit me and now i am depressed, not confident, i feel people who have a full head of hair are better than me, i dont like going out, i wear caps, i left my job and made a stupid decision to take up another job but it didnt work out so i quit.... now i am unemployed, i sold my fancy car and drive a banger, i dont like leaving the house, i have fell out with lots of my good friends, i am aggressive, i cant be arsed going to the gym and i have went from having super fit body to an ok body but i cant seem to motivate myself to work out at the gym so i will no doubt end up like a fat slob in a few years....

i was easily an 8 or 9 when i had hair and now i feel like a 4 or a 5...

i also dont know why my girl friend puts up with me!!!

oh and i am always on this damn forum!!!! and i will be back again and again and again and again......

male pattern baldness should be classed as a serious illness and all hairloss drugs and hair transplant's should be free on the NHS!!!

Get a grip.

I'll go with that too.. get a grip.

Recently I started realising a few things about myself, and to be honest I should be telling myself the same. I feel like my career is lagging big time right now. I have a masters degree in engineering, I should be making money, and not borrowing money...

I think a girl is more likely to comment on my failing career than my balding head. I should really get a grip of the reality and start doing things differently. My housemates has a visitor this week, she must be 21-22. She was talking about someone and made a career related comment, I can see where she was coming from and it made an impact on me as well.

I'm working hard, but I have to make life changing decisions and stop messing about.

The moral of the story, if there is one, is that some things are more important than hair.
 

barcafan

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I think it's affected me for the better. Gave me perspective on life, got way more health conscious but of course it also had the negative impacts. The first year was definitely the most fucked up (Albeit with the Least loss!) but im dealing with it way better.
 

uncomfortable man

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The emotional/psychological toll is devastating and it never gets better. The looks I get from people feels like I am getting stabbed. I can't heal. I want to hurt them back, to see the realization of fear and regret in their eyes for being such judgemental assholes before I wash away my suffering with their blood.
P.S. I want to invent a special pump that sucks eyeballs right out of the sockets and clips the optic nerve. Maybe without sight, they can learn to be better, less judgemental souls.
 

slowburn

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Well I have not been able to hold down a full time job in about 3-4 years, I'm 29. I am always down, seemingly and I don't really go out much because I'm broke and do not like being mocked by 20 year olds and teens. Aside from that, I should grow up when I'm close to 45 years of age...I might be fucked for life.
 

DoctorHouse

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uncomfortable man said:
The emotional/psychological toll is devastating and it never gets better. The looks I get from people feels like I am getting stabbed. I can't heal. I want to hurt them back, to see the realization of fear and regret in their eyes for being such judgemental assholes before I wash away my suffering with their blood.
I have no idea what kind of people you seem to be around but I have never been around any people who give negative looks to someone who is bald. People who are fat or obese tend to get those looks but I have never seen it with bald people. :dunno:
 

slowburn

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DoctorHouse said:
uncomfortable man said:
The emotional/psychological toll is devastating and it never gets better. The looks I get from people feels like I am getting stabbed. I can't heal. I want to hurt them back, to see the realization of fear and regret in their eyes for being such judgemental assholes before I wash away my suffering with their blood.
I have no idea what kind of people you seem to be around but I have never been around any people who give negative looks to someone who is bald. People who are fat or obese tend to get those looks but I have never seen it with bald people. :dunno:
I can second that, I don't know why they do that. People just can't accept people that are different. They make me feel like I don't belong in society. Funny thing is they look at you like you killed one of their family members yet I'm one of the nicest dudes anyone could ever meet.
 

ali777

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slowburn said:
DoctorHouse said:
uncomfortable man said:
The emotional/psychological toll is devastating and it never gets better. The looks I get from people feels like I am getting stabbed. I can't heal. I want to hurt them back, to see the realization of fear and regret in their eyes for being such judgemental assholes before I wash away my suffering with their blood.
I have no idea what kind of people you seem to be around but I have never been around any people who give negative looks to someone who is bald. People who are fat or obese tend to get those looks but I have never seen it with bald people. :dunno:
I can second that, I don't know why they do that. People just can't accept people that are different. They make me feel like I don't belong in society. Funny thing is they look at you like you killed one of their family members yet I'm one of the nicest dudes anyone could ever meet.

I used to be 20kg, that's about 3 stones for the Americans, heavier than I am now and my weight never really bothered me. I know losing hair is not as bad as being overweight, but I care more about my hair than I ever cared about my weight.

We had a summer football league, and my weight was causing me lots of injuries. That was the only reason why I lost weight, it had nothing to do with my looks. When I look at my old pictures, I can't actually recognise myself.

I guess the reason why I'm saying this is that when you are happy with yourself, the looks don't matter as much.
 

Avery

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I'm on my way to the being in the best shape in my life, I'm awarded an odd sort of wisdom by my collegues, and I have more friends because I've started ignoring the unattractiveness in other people. Hair loss definelty sucks, but I'm a much better person than I was 3 years ago.

Sorry if I went the other way.
 
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