Has Anyone Got A Platonic Female Friend?

[JohnsonDDG]

I'm starting to change my mind on whether men and women can ever just be friends. I know this will sound superbly beta but all the close female friends I've spend time with in the past I found attractive. The only reason I didn't make a move was because they had a partner or because they didn't seem to find me attractive back.

I'm starting to question the whole male and female friendship dynamic. I've noticed a few female friends at work occasionally tease me slightly (in a joking way) but I'm not sure if its a test of whether its flirting. Either way I'm growing tired of it and looking to distance myself from unclear relationships (so basically just have friends or a partner but if there is any tests or flirting with a friend then avoid!).'

Apparently the term for a guy who is 'friends' with a woman he is attracted to is a male orbiter (or beta orbiter). Just thinking about that term makes me cringe. It's pretty tragic that I hung out with these women I was attracted to just because I hoped they'd suddenly fancy me.


I also just read this online and it has really got me thinking:


I think its important for women to understand that the true nature of relations between men and women is basically sex. Sex is pretty much the driving force behind pretty much everything we do, including when a woman uses you for ego. But it's inequitable, the woman uses an orbiter for gratification and this enables her to more confidently reach for the alphas who she hopes will help her carry forth healthy offspring.



So what do you all think? Can men and women ever just be friends?

And also, has anyone had the same experience as me where you find a female friend attractive but you don't make a move?

(And I know this isn't directly hair loss related - but I know a lot of you guys also have low esteem (hair loss never helps) like me and that these male orbiter relationships are likely.)

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Yes I have a few and have had a few before. It depends on context.

One I've known for 11 years and we've spent a lot of time together. We know each other well. She invited me to travel with her in the coming months, I decided to join her in New Orleans. We've previously met up in Chicago, Montreal, Melbourne. We actually have not lived in the same place for ten years.

Another one I've known for ... 2 years. She's letting me crash her couch in Australia for a couple weeks in a few months, which is kind of her. We've been very helpful to each other.

Those are the closest ones. Below that there is a spectrum of other friendships with other women for which we are not at close.

I think its important for women to understand that the true nature of relations between men and women is basically sex. Sex is pretty much the driving force behind pretty much everything we do, including when a woman uses you for ego. But it's inequitable, the woman uses an orbiter for gratification and this enables her to more confidently reach for the alphas who she hopes will help her carry forth healthy offspring.

Everything we do relates to procreation and preservation of our lines, but it need not be directly related. Friendships and pair bonding in general are necessary precursors to any sort of procreation down the line.

 

[JohnsonDDG]

Yes I have a few and have had a few before. It depends on context.

One I've known for 11 years and we've spent a lot of time together. We know each other well. She invited me to travel with her in the coming months, I decided to join her in New Orleans. We've previously met up in Chicago, Montreal, Melbourne. We actually have not lived in the same place for ten years.

Another one I've known for ... 2 years. She's letting me crash her couch in Australia for a couple weeks in a few months, which is kind of her. We've been very helpful to each other.

Those are the closest ones. Below that there is a spectrum of other friendships with other women for which we are not at close.

I think its important for women to understand that the true nature of relations between men and women is basically sex. Sex is pretty much the driving force behind pretty much everything we do, including when a woman uses you for ego. But it's inequitable, the woman uses an orbiter for gratification and this enables her to more confidently reach for the alphas who she hopes will help her carry forth healthy offspring.

Everything we do relates to procreation and preservation of our lines, but it need not be directly related. Friendships and pair bonding in general are necessary precursors to any sort of procreation down the line.

Are you sexually attracted to these friends?

If they offered you sex would you say no?

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Are you sexually attracted to these friends?

If they offered you sex would you say no?

The first one I met 11 years ago and at the time I was in love with somebody else, the opportunity has since passed. There's no spark at this point. A part happens when you first meet someone or it doesn't happen.

The second one did try and kiss me one time and I said no.

 

[davesmith420]

Yes. I had one that I developed feelings for. We made out a couple of times but when I brought up dating she shot me down. Girl was a 5-6 at best so my autism must have gotten in the way.

Female friends can be nice though as they can give you honest opinions on sh*t (clothing choices, etc) and set you up with their friends.

 

[JeanLucBB]

I'm starting to change my mind on whether men and women can ever just be friends. I know this will sound superbly beta but all the close female friends I've spend time with in the past I found attracted. The only reason I didn't make a move was because they had a partner or because they didn't seem to find me attractive back.

I'm starting to question the whole male and female friendship dynamic. I've noticed a few female friends at work occasionally tease me slightly at work (in a joking way) but I'm not sure if its a test of whether its flirting. Either way I'm growing tired of it and looking to distance myself from unclear relationships (so basically just have friends or a partner but if there is any tests or flirting with a friend then avoid!).'

Apparently the term for a guy who is 'friends' with a woman he is attracted to is a male orbiter (or beta orbiter). Just thinking about that term makes me cringe. It's pretty tragic that I hung out with these women I was attracted to just because I hoped they'd suddenly fancy me.


I also just read this online and it has really got me thinking:


I think its important for women to understand that the true nature of relations between men and women is basically sex. Sex is pretty much the driving force behind pretty much everything we do, including when a woman uses you for ego. But it's inequitable, the woman uses an orbiter for gratification and this enables her to more confidently reach for the alphas who she hopes will help her carry forth healthy offspring.



So what do you all think? Can men and women ever just be friends?

And also, has anyone had the same experience as me where you find a female friend attractive but you don't make a move?

(And I know this isn't directly hair loss related - but I know a lot of you guys also have low esteem (hair loss never helps) like me and that these male orbiter relationships are likely.)

Pointless idea unless you enjoy being a doormat or its a working or proximity (girlfriend of friend etc.) relationship in which case it has a functional benefit.

When people stop pretending it's worthwile they suddenly free up a lot of time for more useful pursuits and don't have to question the friendzone issue anymore.

 

[IdealForehead]

Two of my best friends are platonic female friends and I have zero interest in sex with them. We hang out periodically and it's always fun. We give each other sh*t and joke around same as I would with any male friend.

Protip: Be ugly, then only ugly girls will want to be your friend, and you won't want to have sex with them.

It's not hard.

There's nothing wrong with having female friends. I hang out with my sister who I get along with really well all the time. Ditto with one of my female cousins. Just because they have a different chromosome doesn't mean they're aliens I can't spend time with.

They don't set me up with other girls. I'm not secretly trying to get in their pants. They're just regular people who are fun to be around and happen to be women.

I have never understood the controversy over men and women being friends. Like what? If you hang out with your mom or your aunt too often you're going to accidentally f*** them or something? A man and a woman can't exist in a room together without having sex or wanting to?

It's absolutely ridiculous.

 

[Baldingat188]

Humble brag...

Just lol

 

[JeanLucBB]

The first one I met 11 years ago and at the time I was in love with somebody else, the opportunity has since passed. There's no spark at this point. A part happens when you first meet someone or it doesn't happen.

The second one did try and kiss me one time and I said no.

Why did you say no?

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Why did you say no?

I didn't want to deal with the eventual psychodramatic overhead.

 

[Exodus2011]

The first one I met 11 years ago and at the time I was in love with somebody else, the opportunity has since passed. There's no spark at this point. A part happens when you first meet someone or it doesn't happen.

The second one did try and kiss me one time and I said no.

Why did you refuse the second one?

 

[Exodus2011]

Two of my best friends are platonic female friends and I have zero interest in sex with them. We hang out periodically and it's always fun. We give each other sh*t and joke around same as I would with any male friend.

Protip: Be ugly, then only ugly girls will want to be your friend, and you won't want to have sex with them.

It's not hard.

There's nothing wrong with having female friends. I hang out with my sister who I get along with really well all the time. Ditto with one of my female cousins. Just because they have a different chromosome doesn't mean they're aliens I can't spend time with.

They don't set me up with other girls. I'm not secretly trying to get in their pants. They're just regular people who are fun to be around and happen to be women.

I have never understood the controversy over men and women being friends. Like what? If you hang out with your mom or your aunt too often you're going to accidentally f*** them or something? A man and a woman can't exist in a room together without having sex or wanting to?

It's absolutely ridiculous.

Yes it does

 

[IdealForehead]

Why did you refuse the second one?

Because he's gay dude.

Obviously.

 

[IdealForehead]

By the way @Afro_Vacancy , on a serious note, you ever think your problem might be venous leak?

I know what it's like to have to turn down sex with a girl you like because your dick doesn't work, and it's f*****g horrible. My issue was more related to nerve entrapment/compression, but I've read a lot about dicks as a result of having gone through some problems myself. Venous leak is one of the more common causes of guys not being able to maintain an erection for no other good apparent reason.

At least once a week now I think about this tiny pretty little 18 year old university student I had a summer class with back when I was 23 and how she liked me. We went back to her dorm one night after drinking a bit and she was sitting on her bed practically begging me to f*** her. She kept joking about how she's 18 so she's legal. But I went to the couch instead and went to sleep.

Having a malfunctioning dick is awful. Now I can't even get a girl like that to reply to me online or talk to me IRL.

Hope for your sake you can figure yours out.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

By the way @Afro_Vacancy , on a serious note, you ever think your problem might be venous leak?

I know what it's like to have to turn down sex with a girl you like because your dick doesn't work, and it's f*****g horrible. My issue was more related to nerve entrapment/compression, but I've read a lot about dicks as a result of having gone through some problems myself. Venous leak is one of the more common causes of guys not being able to maintain an erection for no other good apparent reason.

At least once a week now I think about this tiny pretty little 18 year old university student I had a summer class with back when I was 23 and how she liked me. We went back to her dorm one night after drinking a bit and she was sitting on her bed practically begging me to f*** her. She kept joking about how she's 18 so she's legal. But I went to the couch instead and went to sleep.

Having a malfunctioning dick is awful. Now I can't even get a girl like that to reply to me online or talk to me IRL.

Hope for your sake you can figure yours out.

I have not thought about it, and thus far virtually all health care professionals have been hostile to the notion that something might be wrong with me, including two urologists and a team of specialized sex therapists.

Just reading about now enrages me as I've encountered such hostility from medical practitioners. The last urologist I saw told me that physical causes of ED cause penis functionality to drop from 100% top 0%. If it's in between (as it is for me), then it has to be psychological. She told me to get therapy.

I have several experiences similar to the one you mentioned.

 

[IdealForehead]

I have not thought about it, and thus far virtually all health care professionals have been hostile to the notion that something might be wrong with me, including two urologists and a team of specialized sex therapists.

Just reading about now enrages me as I've encountered such hostility from medical practitioners. The last urologist I saw told me that physical causes of ED cause penis functionality to drop from 100% top 0%. If it's in between (as it is for me), then it has to be psychological. She told me to get therapy.

I have several experiences similar to the one you mentioned.

In my experience, unfortunately you have to figure a lot of things out for yourself in life. I've had a lot of problems that were brushed off by doctors and I had to work out on my own. I'm not going into details on those because I don't like talking about it.

But a smaller or more trivial example would be when my doctor just said after finasteride and dutasteride failed on me, "well I guess that's all there is then." Just LOL. Nope.

As for venous leak, I just googled it again since I forgot much of the details and it looks like it can be diagnosed with ultrasound and treated surgically. Obviously if you think that's what you might have, be sure of what you're getting into and research who you see plus get multiple opinions before considering anything.

But looks like they've been doing curative surgery for it since 1988:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3280081

 

[Stanx22]

Female friends are worthless.

 

[Exodus2011]

By the way @Afro_Vacancy , on a serious note, you ever think your problem might be venous leak?

I know what it's like to have to turn down sex with a girl you like because your dick doesn't work, and it's f*****g horrible. My issue was more related to nerve entrapment/compression, but I've read a lot about dicks as a result of having gone through some problems myself. Venous leak is one of the more common causes of guys not being able to maintain an erection for no other good apparent reason.

At least once a week now I think about this tiny pretty little 18 year old university student I had a summer class with back when I was 23 and how she liked me. We went back to her dorm one night after drinking a bit and she was sitting on her bed practically begging me to f*** her. She kept joking about how she's 18 so she's legal. But I went to the couch instead and went to sleep.

Having a malfunctioning dick is awful. Now I can't even get a girl like that to reply to me online or talk to me IRL.

Hope for your sake you can figure yours out.

lol so you aren't truly incel then. and how can you be ugly if this sh*t happened? 0_0

everyones frauding here lmao

 

[JohnsonDDG]

lol so you aren't truly incel then. and how can you be ugly if this sh*t happened? 0_0

everyones frauding here lmao

The term incel is almost impossible to live up to.

Take a strange looking man like this:

Even he ended up getting a gf (a decent looking one at that). *famous youtuber who always spoke about looks and inceldom

Literally anyone who isn't disabled can at least get laid if there standards are low and they put in lot of effort.

What most people mean by incel is that they cant get laid with a decent looking woman.

 

[Exodus2011]

The term incel is almost impossible to live up to.

Take a strange looking man like this:

View attachment 74160

Even he ended up getting a gf (a decent looking one at that). *famous youtuber who always spoke about looks and inceldom

Literally anyone who isn't disabled can at least get laid if there standards are low and they put in lot of effort.

What most people mean by incel is that they cant get laid with a decent looking woman.

lolz the infamous eggman. but yea ideal still said this girl was pretty. and i was under the impression that he was one of the biggest incels here, apparently not. someone with all these looks issues would NOT have some girl throwing themselves at him like that