Girl writes to Dear Abby about boyfriend's hair loss!

[malibujoe]

This will probably cripple some of you guys but here goes....

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ucda/20080521/l ... 9QMhjNbbUC


DEAR ABBY: I am not sure how to handle my boyfriend's hair loss. "Jasper" is 34 and I'm 23. We have been dating for two years and have a wonderful relationship. We are completely open to each other, and because of that, I feel backed into a corner regarding this subject.
Hair loss is such a tricky topic. Women aren't supposed to care, but in reality we do -- unless you're one of those rare women who enjoy bald heads. (I'm not one of them.) Although Jasper's hair loss is barely noticeable now, without some sort of plan it will probably take over in a few years.

Jasper is self-conscious about his thinning hair. I can tell he's worried, but he doesn't want to do anything about it. I care more about Jasper's feelings than his hair, so I haven't let him know how much it bothers me, although he asks me often.

His type of hair loss is treatable. I find him very attractive now, but I don't know how I will feel when he's bald, and I'm sort of cringing inside about it. I feel like a daily ritual would not be too much to ask of someone.

I'm fed up with hearing, "If you love him, let him be" because my attraction to him is an important part of our lives. What should I do? -- TIRED OF SITTING ON MY HANDS

DEAR TIRED: Most women are not so fixated on "what's on top" that they fail to value what's underneath. While some hair loss is treatable with a "daily ritual," some is not. The kind that isn't can be successfully treated with a hair transplant -- if the candidate is eligible, and if it is done by a talented, qualified surgeon.

Whether Jasper is willing to endure the discomfort or the inconvenience is anyone's guess. In fact, he might prefer to find a woman who is less hung up on hair than you. Frankly, I'm betting he wouldn't have to look too "fur."

 

[metalheaddude]

What a shallow cow!

 

[hair_tomorrow]

I don't even want to know

 

[HatPrisoner91]

I find it ironic that she dates a guy 11 years older than her yet complains about this....

I mean she is entitled to but I hope she isn't sagging anywhere on her body because then she is a hypocrite.

 

[Lucky_UK]

Young women can be so shallow

 

[uncomfortable man]

Yeah, she's 23. What do you expect? I liked Abby's response though.

 

[BobbyChalfont]

Abby pretty much hands it to that b**ch.

Karma is restored.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Wow Metalhead came out of the emo closet. Congratulations, I think. I wished all those emo dudes would go bald, then they would really have something to be depressed about. But what that chick said about how women really DO want men with hair is true. I've actually googled, "What do women really think of bald guys" and alot of them will say bald men are sexy and they love the shaved look, but at least half of those women are assuming the guy doesn't have male pattern baldness. They also say that if you do have male pattern baldness to just shave it and that confidence is more important, which imo is a total f*****g lie. They are probably only saying that so they don't look shallow, although some of them tell the truth and say they prefer men with hair. Not many women will admit that they are attracted to money and power either, so...women are hypocrites.

 

[BobbyChalfont]

Wow Metalhead came out of the emo closet. Congratulations, I think. I wished all those emo dudes would go bald, then they would really have something to be depressed about. But what that chick said about how women really DO want men with hair is true. I've actually googled, "What do women really think of bald guys" and alot of them will say bald men are sexy and they love the shaved look, but at least half of those women are assuming the guy doesn't have male pattern baldness. They also say that if you do have male pattern baldness to just shave it and that confidence is more important, which imo is a total f****ing lie. They are probably only saying that so they don't look shallow, although some of them tell the truth and say they prefer men with hair. Not many women will admit that they are attracted to money and power either, so...women are hypocrites.

Holy sh*t, you googled it so it must be true.

Stop being so f*cking bitter. You're talking as if women are mindless robots that are all programmed to find a specific type of man attractive. You're a self-confessed jobless, 28 year old who lives with his parents so stop pretending you know a damn thing about women.

Yeah, I've met women who say they don't like the balding look (most of them were around 18-21 years old, off the record), I've also met women who prefer the bald/balding look because it makes the man look more refined and mature. If women were really as shallow as you seem to think, no one except Brad Pitt would ever get laid in this World.

Let's flip this argument over. Some women are born with small boobs, some with larger boobs. It's genetic and they have no control of it. They can change their size through expensive surgery (just as men can fight baldness with expensive hair transplants). Some men openly prefer large boobs (the bigger and more comically floppy the better,) while other men like slimmer bodies with smaller boobs to match. The main point of this rant about titties is that everyone has different tastes and no two people are the same in their preference. If you're not getting laid, it doesn't mean all women must be shallow, hair-loving hypocrites. What it most likely means is that you're a bitter, women-hating hypocrite who no sensible women would ever go near, due to your f*cked up view of the World.

 

[metalheaddude]

Wow Metalhead came out of the emo closet. Congratulations, I think. I wished all those emo dudes would go bald, then they would really have something to be depressed about. But what that chick said about how women really DO want men with hair is true. I've actually googled, "What do women really think of bald guys" and alot of them will say bald men are sexy and they love the shaved look, but at least half of those women are assuming the guy doesn't have male pattern baldness. They also say that if you do have male pattern baldness to just shave it and that confidence is more important, which imo is a total f****ing lie. They are probably only saying that so they don't look shallow, although some of them tell the truth and say they prefer men with hair. Not many women will admit that they are attracted to money and power either, so...women are hypocrites.

Holy s***, you googled it so it must be true.

Stop being so f*cking bitter. You're talking as if women are mindless robots that are all programmed to find a specific type of man attractive. You're a self-confessed jobless, 28 year old who lives with his parents so stop pretending you know a damn thing about women.

Yeah, I've met women who say they don't like the balding look (most of them were around 18-21 years old, off the record), I've also met women who prefer the bald/balding look because it makes the man look more refined and mature. If women were really as shallow as you seem to think, no one except Brad Pitt would ever get laid in this World.

Let's flip this argument over. Some women are born with small boobs, some with larger boobs. It's genetic and they have no control of it. They can change their size through expensive surgery (just as men can fight baldness with expensive hair transplants). Some men openly prefer large boobs (the bigger and more comically floppy the better,) while other men like slimmer bodies with smaller boobs to match. The main point of this rant about titties is that everyone has different tastes and no two people are the same in their preference. If you're not getting laid, it doesn't mean all women must be shallow, hair-loving hypocrites. What it most likely means is that you're a bitter, women-hating hypocrite who no sensible women would ever go near, due to your f*cked up view of the World.

Harsh but probably true.

I used to be obsessed with huge abnormal sized breasts, but as i've gotten older I have found myself more attracted to smaller and medium sized breasts.

 

[Cassin]

I wouldn't put to much into this gents.

I am sure all of you who have a problem with this have a superficial turn off as well. I know I do. Just one girls opinion.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Holy s***, you googled it so it must be true.

Stop being so f*cking bitter. You're talking as if women are mindless robots that are all programmed to find a specific type of man attractive. You're a self-confessed jobless, 28 year old who lives with his parents so stop pretending you know a damn thing about women.

Yeah, I've met women who say they don't like the balding look (most of them were around 18-21 years old, off the record), I've also met women who prefer the bald/balding look because it makes the man look more refined and mature. If women were really as shallow as you seem to think, no one except Brad Pitt would ever get laid in this World.

Let's flip this argument over. Some women are born with small boobs, some with larger boobs. It's genetic and they have no control of it. They can change their size through expensive surgery (just as men can fight baldness with expensive hair transplants). Some men openly prefer large boobs (the bigger and more comically floppy the better,) while other men like slimmer bodies with smaller boobs to match. The main point of this rant about titties is that everyone has different tastes and no two people are the same in their preference. If you're not getting laid, it doesn't mean all women must be shallow, hair-loving hypocrites. What it most likely means is that you're a bitter, women-hating hypocrite who no sensible women would ever go near, due to your f*cked up view of the World.

Ummm I don't think he is 28. Before you try ripping someone, why don't you get your facts straight?

You bring up men who like big boobs. Yes they exist. So do women who are "size queens". But your whole argument is missing something. Do you see any male pattern baldness men who are models? How many flat chested women are models? Almost all of them? Boobs is something that some men are into (the size of them) most could give a crap about them.

Second point you are missing here. You compared boob jobs to hair transplant's? First of all, boobs jobs are pretty much a common thing and they don't cost even close to what an hair transplant starts. Also boob jobs are successful in almost every case (minus complications). How many hair transplant's are successful? Successful means FULL recovery. I would say not even close to half of them. And if your hair is past NW5, then you are never getting full recovery. So your comparison is flawed.

On the flip side, not all women are hypocrites but many are. Just like men are. Men who are bald complain about women who don't want them because of it. But what kind of women are they hoping for? I bet they wouldn't want to be with one who is bald or ugly themselves. Or even overweight. Men are hypocrites also.

Now your rant was directed at UMan. But it was completely flawed.

 

[BobbyChalfont]

Ummm I don't think he is 28. Before you try ripping someone, why don't you get your facts straight?

You bring up men who like big boobs. Yes they exist. So do women who are "size queens". But your whole argument is missing something. Do you see any male pattern baldness men who are models? How many flat chested women are models? Almost all of them? Boobs is something that some men are into (the size of them) most could give a crap about them.

Second point you are missing here. You compared boob jobs to hair transplant's? First of all, boobs jobs are pretty much a common thing and they don't cost even close to what an hair transplant starts. Also boob jobs are successful in almost every case (minus complications). How many hair transplant's are successful? Successful means FULL recovery. I would say not even close to half of them. And if your hair is past NW5, then you are never getting full recovery. So your comparison is flawed.

On the flip side, not all women are hypocrites but many are. Just like men are. Men who are bald complain about women who don't want them because of it. But what kind of women are they hoping for? I bet they wouldn't want to be with one who is bald or ugly themselves. Or even overweight. Men are hypocrites also.

Now your rant was directed at UMan. But it was completely flawed.

Ok, he may not be 28. I think I got him confused with you, seeing as both your outlooks on life are almost identical. My bad. The point still stands though, he's not an expert on the dating habits of women just 'cos he googled a few articles.

By the way, your whole post...you're missing the point. this isn't a breast enlargement VS hair transplant debate. I used breasts to illustrate that men have different chest size preferences. Just like women have different hair preferences. That's the sole point of my original comparison. A woman doesn't have to look like a carbon copy of Pamela Anderson to be found attractive, just like a man doesn't have to have a full head of hair to be found attractive.

 

[Eureka]

Let's flip this argument over. Some women are born with small boobs, some with larger boobs. It's genetic and they have no control of it. They can change their size through expensive surgery

I mainly agree with your opinions, all women are not shallow, we men can be just as shallow, but when your simply comparing breast enlargement to hair transplants, There is a big big difference, a woman can easily have breast enlargement/reduction surgery, it's generally a one time only surgery, there are risks yes, but it is one of the most common types done nowadays and they have it practically perfected.

Our hair on the other hand, way way way too many guys are not right for hair trasnplants, we nuke our bodys with finasteride, after a hair transplant we have to continue to spend money on finasteride, rogaine nizoral revivogen whatever your preferred treatment is, And theres the chance your loss will proceed past the point of where you can transplant enough to cover it, and you end up having scars if you couldn't afford FUE, or you end up limp if you have a bad result of finasteride, or you end up pennyless due
to the amount of procedures you could end up needing, on top of all the other stresses that come along with it, women in this one area have it much easier.

If all men, where right for transplant surgery, there was no one left out, no one too young, no pills or topicals to take, then it might be even, but it is definitely not.

As for this particular chica, dude should dump her narrow minded ***, I don't care how sexy a girl I may be dating is, if she honestly cannot bear to be attracted to me without hair, she can hit the bloody road.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Ok, he may not be 28. I think I got him confused with you, seeing as both your outlooks on life are almost identical. My bad. The point still stands though, he's not an expert on the dating habits of women just 'cos he googled a few articles.

By the way, your whole post...you're missing the point. this isn't a breast enlargement VS hair transplant debate. I used breasts to illustrate that men have different chest size preferences. Just like women have different hair preferences. That's the sole point of my original comparison. A woman doesn't have to look like a carbon copy of Pamela Anderson to be found attractive, just like a man doesn't have to have a full head of hair to be found attractive.

He is the same age as me and neither are 28.

You brought up implants. The difference is if you have no boobs, 1) they are UNDERNEATH CLOTHING. 2) YOU CAN EASILY FIX THEM. Not even the same.

Some men look great when thinning or bald. Many don't. It's not the same thing. You don't LOSE boobs like you lose hair. Do you know what the equivalent is? If a woman got all wrinked at age 27. Do you think she would go out without using tons of makeup and just be ok with it?

 

[uncomfortable man]

Whoa Bobby, whenever I read any of your venomously over toned responses I have to plug my ears because it feels like your SCREAMING. Personal attacks aside, yes not all women are materialistic and shallow. I should know because I was in a relationship with a great woman for over ten years. So I am not a complete ignoramus when it comes to women as you so violently accused me of. The dating scene on the other hand I am very intimidated by. But this is easy to understand because I just got out of a long term relationship where it is very easy to get comfortable and sort of let things go. And being that I am a bald 33yo, the ultra competitive, hyper critical youth obsessed world of dating seems like a pretty hostile place for a guy like me. I can also acknowledge that many men are hypocritical egomaniacs. But if you were to ask me, I would have to say that women are the more vain of the species. Metrosexual junk aside, the majority of women go through painstaking beautification rituals everyday before presenting themselves to the world. And yes, alot of them are programmed like robots to be aesthetically aware. This conditioning is reflected in their expectations of men. Why is it that so many girls write out these specific lists of features, qualities and attributes that their "dream guy" must possess? Do guys do that, other than being a breast man or an *** man?

 

[Guest]

someone should create a forum for depressing bald losers like uncomfortable man and hatprisoner91. these wackos obviously dont want help with treating their hair loss cuz theyre too bald already. therefore they should go create their own website for men who are COMPLETELY bald since they seem to get so offended by anyone less than a NW6 trying to reason with them. honestly what this forum needs less of is depressing losers like these guys.

 

[BobbyChalfont]

He is the same age as me and neither are 28.

You brought up implants. The difference is if you have no boobs, 1) they are UNDERNEATH CLOTHING. 2) YOU CAN EASILY FIX THEM. Not even the same.

Some men look great when thinning or bald. Many don't. It's not the same thing. You don't LOSE boobs like you lose hair. Do you know what the equivalent is? If a woman got all wrinked at age 27. Do you think she would go out without using tons of makeup and just be ok with it?

For the third time, I am not debating boobs VS hairloss. The two are completely unrelated. The single and ONLY reason I brought up boobs was to illustrate that just like women, men have different body preferences too (some like smaller chests, some like bigger).

Your friend Uncomfortable Man suggested that all women hate bald men. I found this generalisation laughable. My point is and always has been, saying women hate bald men is as ludicrous as stating all men only find women with 36DDs sexually attractive.

 

[lookhowshiny]

And she is older than me-eeeeee. :sobbing:

 

[uncomfortable man]

these wackos obviously dont want help with treating their hair loss cuz theyre too bald already.

Just because we may be beyond hope for most of these treatments doesn't mean we don't want help. HP and myself probably want a cure worse than any of you. From your offensive language it sounds like you are a bald hater on a discussion forum for hair loss, taking advantage of the honesty of HP and me to "kick a man while he is down". It is you that doesn't belong, A55HOLE.