Finding Love Before Hair Loss

[pologuy514]

In the last 8 months while I've been single I've often wondered if my chances for finding a relationship with a good girl will diminish as my hair loss increases. I'm 24. Have any of you ever thought about this for those of you who are single? Have you pursued looking more because of hair loss? Thanks for your replies.

 

[CCS]

In the last 8 months while I've been single I've often wondered if my chances for finding a relationship with a good girl will diminish as my hair loss increases. I'm 24. Have any of you ever thought about this for those of you who are single? Have you pursued looking more because of hair loss? Thanks for your replies.

Um, I think just about every guy worries about that. As for those in relationships, some don't think it matters, and some men gaining weight in the mid section don't think it matters either. Often break ups are a rude awakening, long after one has gone far downhill. They then find it very hard to get a woman as attractive as their recent ex, which makes it hard for them to move on.

I doubt you lost taht much hair in the last 8 months, especially if you were on propecia or at least using Nizoral. You can get in good shape in 8 months too. So any minor loss should not stop you from doing how you were doing before. Just start treating it now so it does not get a lot worse.

 

[Fundi]

Most guys have the same worry.

I think it usually tends to be unfounded. - For example I don't know any more single bald guys in their 40s than I do guys with hair (I actually know a lot more with hair who are single, but I guess more guys have hair than who are bald). Funnily enough every balding guy I know my age (22) has a girlfriend, but there's only about 10 of them. Who you fall in love with may be different depending on if you had hair or not....who knows, fate and all that.

 

[Fundi]

From my experience, a guy shouldn't think he has to find a girlfriend before his hairloss gets bad. Some women, who you think you know well, are so shallow that they will dump a guy that they have been with just because their guy's hairloss becomes more severe.

You would never suspect certain girls to do that, but when it comes down to it, they will do such things. They feel justified because their balding boyfriend "changes." He, at first had decent hair without very noticeable baldness, suddenly becomes noticeably bald.

All the sudden the shallow girl isn't as "attracted" anymore to the same guy. The shallow girl also is ashamed to bring her "balding boyfriend" around her cirlce of friends - especially her girlfriends who she regularly competes with and compares herself to. The bald guy is no longer a "trophy" that can be shown to all of her friends for bragging rights, or whatever.

A true girfriend will want the same guy - bald or not. If a woman bases her male relationships on the guy's looks (a lot of women do this), then she isn't worth it. She's shallow. And a bald(ing) guy would be a fool for falling for such a shallow girl.

I think that's true but depending on the level of the relationship - Once in love/serious....I can very rarely see that changing merely because of hair. (Unless the guy's personality changes too, lack of self esteem/confidence/paranoia/increased vanity etc.

If it's just been on/off stuff for a few months, it's a possibility.

 

[CCS]

If a woman has sex with you when she is not attracted to you, then, at the very least, you are the only one having sexual fun. You can't expect someone to go the rest of their life without sexual pleasure so you can keep yours. It is easy to get bitter though when you know there is nothing you can do about your hair loss, and you feel like your partner is taking the easy way out and does not love you at all.

But if someone does leave because of your looks or your money, 99% of the time they will not tell you that. They will find some other excuse, however dumb it is. And you can't argue them into having sex. You can make it very socially awkward for them leave by pressing them for an excuse. Might even get a few more nights of sex out of them. But that is a sad situation. Better to just let it go and try figuring out how to improve your looks, or just find a less attractive partner who can't be as picky.

I used to be bitter. But after trying a hair piece, I can say hope is not lost. It would be far better to have hair. But a hair piece can make you more attractive. You might not do as well as you want, but you can do a lot better than you were doing before. Just got to be very detail oriented to make it as good as possible. Fake looking stuff won't attract them. If they can't forget for 5 minutes that it is fake, then it won't help you.

 

[uncomfortable man]

I met my ex while my hair was just beginning to diffuse thin around 23. I was lucky in my situation, because she came to me (she says she stalked me) and didn't mind my hairloss and is probably the opposite of the type of woman Dude described. I was with her for ten years and as my hairloss progressed, she didn't mind. Hair had nothing to do with our break up. I honestly think I will never find another woman like her and now that I am 34 nw6 newly single and "behind schedule" in my life, the prospect of finding someone new seems impossible. Looking from the outside, I don't blame alot of women for not wanting to get with me seeing as I don't have much to offer. Fortunately I don't care so much about starting a new relationship. Not lonely in the slightest, which is great because it frees me up to work on other stuff- self improvement stuff. Maybe when I get my stuff together, I might try my hand at dating again. I think it would be better to get into a relationship after the hairloss is noticeable. It will be more difficult to acquire, but at least you have the security of knowing that you have a relationship with substanance, instead of wondering if she will leave at the fist signs of hairloss.

 

[person]

In the last 8 months while I've been single I've often wondered if my chances for finding a relationship with a good girl will diminish as my hair loss increases. I'm 24. Have any of you ever thought about this for those of you who are single? Have you pursued looking more because of hair loss? Thanks for your replies.

I have wondered too. I am 19 years old. My solution is I will wear a wig in the near future, no fu**ing way am I living the rest of my life seeing the 17 year old hotties that eye me up no longer look at me.

 

[cleverusername]

I'm also 24 somewhere between a nw3 and 4 and have been single for 2 years. My problem is now that I'm out of college and I've moved so many times (In the past 2 years I've lived in the UK, Poland, Syracuse NY, Albany NY and NYC) I don't have a circle of friends here anymore since I haven't lived in NYC for 4 years and lost contact. I have no idea how to meet people anymore and I've always met gfs either at school or through other friends. I have no confidence in my physical appearance and the online dating thing was an utter failure.

There are plenty of women who don't care about hair loss just like I'm not looking for an anorexic beauty queen. It's simply a matter of where to meet them. I might take a painting class once I find a job otherwise I have no idea how to meet women or even new friends for that matter anymore. School made things so easy.

 

[Smooth]

I might take a painting class once I find a job otherwise I have no idea how to meet women or even new friends for that matter anymore.

they call it "to Socialise", you already stated two places to meet new friends and women, the workplace and courses (dancing, painting, languages), you can also meet at your local bar, nighclubs, coffee place, laundromat, at the bus.. you can meet people everywere, dont be shy and dont shut yourself.

 

[Fundi]

I honestly think I will never find another woman like her and now that I am 34 nw6 newly single and "behind schedule" in my life, the prospect of finding someone new seems impossible. Looking from the outside, I don't blame alot of women for not wanting to get with me seeing as I don't have much to offer.

Don't give up hope. My brother didn't find his wife until he was 38 and completely bald. He's now 42 and has two kids. She's also better looking than him generally (With or without hair). :jump:

 

[person]

I'm also 24 somewhere between a nw3 and 4 and have been single for 2 years. My problem is now that I'm out of college and I've moved so many times (In the past 2 years I've lived in the UK, Poland, Syracuse NY, Albany NY and NYC) I don't have a circle of friends here anymore since I haven't lived in NYC for 4 years and lost contact. I have no idea how to meet people anymore and I've always met gfs either at school or through other friends. I have no confidence in my physical appearance and the online dating thing was an utter failure.

There are plenty of women who don't care about hair loss just like I'm not looking for an anorexic beauty queen. It's simply a matter of where to meet them. I might take a painting class once I find a job otherwise I have no idea how to meet women or even new friends for that matter anymore. School made things so easy.

I actually agree with this post. My mates and I always joke about it, we say, if there was a party this saturday we would get some hot girls. Our justification is that when there is a party we do get the girls. But when everone is being an emo in our friend circles and there is no party all the girls are hidden away from us. I don't find pulling girls hard, I find it hard to find where the girls are most of the time.

 

[cleverusername]

I might take a painting class once I find a job otherwise I have no idea how to meet women or even new friends for that matter anymore.

they call it "to Socialise", you already stated two places to meet new friends and women, the workplace and courses (dancing, painting, languages), you can also meet at your local bar, nighclubs, coffee place, laundromat, at the bus.. you can meet people everywere, dont be shy and dont shut yourself.

Point well taken and I'm far from anti-social but let's be honest. How many of your friends have you met by randomly talking to them on the bus, laundromat or any other public place. Maybe you have had success with this but for me striking up a conversation with someone randomly on the street would feel incredibly awkward. I need some kind of justification to speak to a stranger like a common interest, ask directions, order food...anything. Of course I could start skateboarding again that was always a super easy way to meet new people in NYC especially if you go to one of the more popular spots.

 

[ali777]

I love the cold winter months(?). My hormones are very relaxed and calm around Christmas time. I have absolutely no desire to go out and start dating any time soon. I started valuing my single life more than I thought I would, and I don't want to throw it all away for some desperate girl.

I think the key in finding someone nice is in not being desperate. It's about having an inner peace that would make you come across as a happy and confident person.

Dudemon: your situation is an extreme case. You are a nice person, but the unfortunate experiences you had made you insecure in yourself. Not many gfs or wives leave their partners to become sex workers. Your misfortune was being in a relationship with a nut case.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Of course I could start skateboarding again that was always a super easy way to meet new people in NYC especially if you go to one of the more popular spots.

I've been skating forever too. It's weird being a bald skater since the skate culture is so youth oriented. So many skaters are wearing their hair long nowadays. Besides Marc Johnson and Danny Montoya, I feel like the only other bald skater on the planet.

 

[casperz]

I think it a mistake for anyone to go looking for a girlfriend. It makes guys
seem desperate and that puts the women in control. I found that if you act like you
could care less about them but are pleasant to be around they want you all the more.

And if I could do it all over I think I would just avoid women altogether. I know a lot
of guys in their forties that are doing just that or have done that their entire lives.
At some point around 40 that hot piece of tail just does not mean that much to you
and you realize you've wasted a large part of your adult life chasing it or married to it.

It's hard to get that message through to guys that have not lived from 20 to 40 though
and been through it. I'm not down on women at all, I just have seen the light and realized that
we spend a lot of time and money chasing something that after we have it we are not
any happier... just sayin.

 

[barcafan]

I think it a mistake for anyone to go looking for a girlfriend. It makes guys
seem desperate and that puts the women in control. I found that if you act like you
could care less about them but are pleasant to be around they want you all the more.

And if I could do it all over I think I would just avoid women altogether. I know a lot
of guys in their forties that are doing just that or have done that their entire lives.
At some point around 40 that hot piece of tail just does not mean that much to you
and you realize you've wasted a large part of your adult life chasing it or married to it.

It's hard to get that message through to guys that have not lived from 20 to 40 though
and been through it. I'm not down on women at all, I just have seen the light and realized that
we spend a lot of time and money chasing something that after we have it we are not
any happier... just sayin.

It could be a hormonal thing, dude. It's well known that older guys decline in male hormones.

 

[Smooth]

I think it a mistake for anyone to go looking for a girlfriend. It makes guys
seem desperate and that puts the women in control. I found that if you act like you
could care less about them but are pleasant to be around they want you all the more.

And if I could do it all over I think I would just avoid women altogether. I know a lot
of guys in their forties that are doing just that or have done that their entire lives.
At some point around 40 that hot piece of tail just does not mean that much to you
and you realize you've wasted a large part of your adult life chasing it or married to it.

It's hard to get that message through to guys that have not lived from 20 to 40 though
and been through it. I'm not down on women at all, I just have seen the light and realized that
we spend a lot of time and money chasing something that after we have it we are not
any happier... just sayin.

That explains that hot piece of tail in your avatar then?...just sayin...;P

 

[uncomfortable man]

Ha, good eyes smooth. This is the last thing I am going to say about this topic. If we are talking about genuine love, then hair loss should be irrelevant. If after a few years of being in "love" with your lady, you start going bald and she leaves you because of it then sorry...that was only superficial, conditional love. Many women think they love their guys, but when they loose their hair they suddenly find themselves in conflict over how to feel about their mans changing appearance. These women feel like they have to reevaluate the situation and take their own vanity into account. The ones that leave were never in love in the first place. I believe the REAL kind of love is rare.

 

[jakeb]

I have wondered too. I am 19 years old. My solution is I will wear a wig in the near future, no fu**ing way am I living the rest of my life seeing the 17 year old hotties that eye me up no longer look at me.

I'm really curious about this. Maybe my image of what a wig is like is not accurate, but I can't even imagine the hilarious reaction to getting a girl interested in you to the point that things get physical and... isn't she going to to figure out you've got a piece? I can't see how that wouldn't be her "hilarious date horror story" for years to come.

The great injustice is that while of course women like attractive men, they don't like vain men. And the bar for male vanity is much lower than it is for women. I find myself giving excuses about skin cancer as to why I wear sunscreen (the skin cancer is part of it, sure, but I wouldn't dare mention that I also don't want to get old and wrinkly looking).

 

[cleverusername]

The great injustice is women judge men on things they can't help such as hair loss or height and compare it to men judging them for being fat which is well within their control. So basically a short bald dude who eats well and exercises. is intelligent and cultured should be thankful that a fat glutinous pig who is dumb and has no class is remotely interested in him. It would be like men refusing to date any woman with a flat chest and flat ***, they would be scorned for being horrible human beings.