Feeling Down about Hairloss

[Onyx3266]

Hey guys, I'm a new member to this board, but I have been reading posts on the forums for about 2 years now. I read pretty much everything I know about treatment, etc. on this website, so I thank you guys for that. I was just posting because I wanted to explain my situation and ask about treatment possibilities.

To start, I'm a 22 year old 4th year student at college, so another young guy who is losing their hair. Of course, it sucks to be losing hair at this age, because it's just not the usual thing. Somedays I feel fine, but a lot of days recently I've just been feeling down. I was buzzing my hair with no guard for a while, but then I just took to buzzing my hair short, so maybe a number 2 or 3. I've been trying to tell myself that losing my hair doesn't really mean anything in long terms for my life, but it feels harder to do that as the days go on. It's always with women though that I run into problems I guess. I've been trying to talk to girls to get to know them and hopefully ask them out, but it seems no one wants to talk to me more than a few days. I just really feel out of place in college, and I hate taking pictures because I feel like I just look like an old outcast, who shouldn't even be around that age group of people. I've also been trying to go out to where women might be open to meeting people like bars and restaurants, but I just feel like the girls tease me or make fun of me, and that just makes me not want to go out anymore. Sometimes, there will be female waiters, and I'll try to interact non-verbally I suppose? Like, recently I went to a restaurant, and I had a female waiter who was really pretty pass by on multiple occasions. I looked at her and she looked at me and then looked away. The next few times, this happened. Then, she was walking by, she looked out of the corner of her eye and gave a light smile, and she kept her eyes on me (out of the corners) and kept smiling. I can't imagine what she was thinking, she probably thought that I was a weird old guy, laughing in her head that I might think I could talk to a girl like her. I feel like this happens a lot though. Out at bars, women will look across the bar at me on multiple occasions, and when I catch them, they look away. It's probably because I'm in a college bar looking like an old man with hairloss. I really feel down when these things happen. I've never had a girlfriend my whole life either, so I'm awkward with women. I've only had sex twice, and it was with a girl I met from a party I went to. Since then, I haven't really had anything meaningful with women. I will attach a group photo I have of me, I just look at it and feel sick because I look so odd with the other college kids in my class, I just don't fit in anymore. I just wish I knew what to do now, maybe you guys have suggestions? I would really like tips for how to deal with women also, I don't have much dating experience. Have ya'll had experience with women looking at you and maybe smiling, but knowing that they are probably mocking you in some way in their head? I just need advice on how to deal with this right now. Thanks guys. (I forgot to mention who I was in the pic, I'm the bald guy (obviously) in the orange shirt.

Picture:

 

[Dench57]

Straight off the bat, if you want advice on improving your appearance - trim that beard down to a trendy beard/stubble type thing. And get some contacts/more stylish glasses. You have a "good" skin tone for balding, if there is such a thing. Would be a whole lot worse if you were pale white. Could be a good candidate for SMP if you want to go that route.

I'm sure you'll get lots of advice on how to attract women from our resident slayers Zircon and Shookwun.

 

[youngguyhairloss]

Get on the Big 3 not much else you can do. Btw thats a badass beard man i would feel much better about my hairloss if i could grow a nice beard

 

[Onyx3266]

Thanks man, I'm glad you answered. Yeah, I try to count myself somewhat lucky. I have a good skin color (no racist lol) and I can grow great facial hair. That's two things some lighter skinned guys don't have, which can make them feel more self-conscious about balding.

 

[Marky]

Hey guys, I'm a new member to this board, but I have been reading posts on the forums for about 2 years now. I read pretty much everything I know about treatment, etc. on this website, so I thank you guys for that. I was just posting because I wanted to explain my situation and ask about treatment possibilities.

To start, I'm a 22 year old 4th year student at college, so another young guy who is losing their hair. Of course, it sucks to be losing hair at this age, because it's just not the usual thing. Somedays I feel fine, but a lot of days recently I've just been feeling down. I was buzzing my hair with no guard for a while, but then I just took to buzzing my hair short, so maybe a number 2 or 3. I've been trying to tell myself that losing my hair doesn't really mean anything in long terms for my life, but it feels harder to do that as the days go on. It's always with women though that I run into problems I guess. I've been trying to talk to girls to get to know them and hopefully ask them out, but it seems no one wants to talk to me more than a few days. I just really feel out of place in college, and I hate taking pictures because I feel like I just look like an old outcast, who shouldn't even be around that age group of people. I've also been trying to go out to where women might be open to meeting people like bars and restaurants, but I just feel like the girls tease me or make fun of me, and that just makes me not want to go out anymore. Sometimes, there will be female waiters, and I'll try to interact non-verbally I suppose? Like, recently I went to a restaurant, and I had a female waiter who was really pretty pass by on multiple occasions. I looked at her and she looked at me and then looked away. The next few times, this happened. Then, she was walking by, she looked out of the corner of her eye and gave a light smile, and she kept her eyes on me (out of the corners) and kept smiling. I can't imagine what she was thinking, she probably thought that I was a weird old guy, laughing in her head that I might think I could talk to a girl like her. I feel like this happens a lot though. Out at bars, women will look across the bar at me on multiple occasions, and when I catch them, they look away. It's probably because I'm in a college bar looking like an old man with hairloss. I really feel down when these things happen. I've never had a girlfriend my whole life either, so I'm awkward with women. I've only had sex twice, and it was with a girl I met from a party I went to. Since then, I haven't really had anything meaningful with women. I will attach a group photo I have of me, I just look at it and feel sick because I look so odd with the other college kids in my class, I just don't fit in anymore. I just wish I knew what to do now, maybe you guys have suggestions? I would really like tips for how to deal with women also, I don't have much dating experience. Have ya'll had experience with women looking at you and maybe smiling, but knowing that they are probably mocking you in some way in their head? I just need advice on how to deal with this right now. Thanks guys. (I forgot to mention who I was in the pic, I'm the bald guy (obviously) in the orange shirt.

Picture:
View attachment 40571

Ya bro tough situation no matter how you look at it. And I know where you're coming from regarding the mocking in their head. Regardless of who you are woman still like to be checked out, it's flattering to them even if they are not interested. Gives them the warm feeling that "they still got it" and "he's interested in me but I'm not in him".
Best advice is know where you stand on the 1-10 scale. If you're a 6-7/10 I wouldn't waste my time going for 8-9/10 - usually they won't give you the time of day.
Also, aim for someone in your own ethnicity, rather than going to bars see about a local culture center, they have good dances and dinner parties for mingling.

 

[youngguyhairloss]

Thanks man, I'm glad you answered. Yeah, I try to count myself somewhat lucky. I have a good skin color (no racist lol) and I can grow great facial hair. That's two things some lighter skinned guys don't have, which can make them feel more self-conscious about balding.

i think some of the most badass looking guys (no homo) are shredded with a buzzed head and a long beard.

 

[kmm179]

You got to work on your self esteem. Eye contact with woman is usually a good sign. If it happens a few times go up and talk to them for real.

 

[Rudiger]

I will attach a group photo I have of me, I just look at it and feel sick because I look so odd with the other college kids in my class, I just don't fit in anymore. I just wish I knew what to do now, maybe you guys have suggestions? I would really like tips for how to deal with women also, I don't have much dating experience. Have ya'll had experience with women looking at you and maybe smiling, but knowing that they are probably mocking you in some way in their head?

So many guys on here have BDD and don't realise it, sometimes myself included. You don't look odd AT ALL in that picture, I know it's very difficult but take a step back, glance at it as if you've never seen it before, do you stand out at all? Because it still looks like there's stubble at your fringe I assumed "that guy" just shaves it, I actually thought another guy in that pic was you, but neither stand out as being instantly out of place, not at all.

I mean the 2nd point about women mocking you in their head, I'm not saying it's impossible but it is a sign of reading this forum too much! People don't give a ****, not as in "it's just hair I might date you!" but sorry for the truth it's more like " ... just another guy" like the vast majority of guys, not worth thinking about, criticising, or mocking, just complete indifference.

You will inevitably get some people who laugh at baldness, there are still some very immature people out there sure, but do a considerable amount of grown women laugh at every bald guy they see? That's kind of crazy if you think about it, every single time they see a bald guy, they have a little chuckle, and it never gets old. This is just, very very unlikely and would be rare to come across, plus it shows they're probably a bit fricken loopy themselves so try not to let that opinion mean anything.

I agree with shaving down to stubble, facial hair is fine for you but very few people suit the type of beard you have, only guys with like freakishly massive jaws can pull off a beard that actually grows out to the sides like that. You don't look ridiculous or anything but your face looks small with that beard framing it, it minimises facial features. Contact lens or maybe bolder specs would help too.

But yeah back to BDD, every time I see a picture of myself that's just been taken then and there, or that goes up on social media the next day, I often can't even look at it, I don't have this issue as much now because I realised I was being ridiculous, but I thought I looked freakishly bald. To me it was like my forehead went on forever. Then fast forward a few months, year, whatever, I see the same picture and don't know what my problem was. Our perception of ourselves really does get out of hand. I don't know if my hair loss is as bad as yours (I'm guessing it's not as I'm several years older and basically still have hair) but the BDD is still the issue in common, you may be balder or close to bald and that may be reality, but you don't look strange in that picture at all.

 

[Onyx3266]

Thanks for your words. Yeah, I know BDD is a big problem for people, especially when you have something like hairloss to compound it. I guess I'm glad you think I don't stick out, it's just that I've seen people mocking others when they are in a photo with hairloss, and no one else is bald or losing hair around them. I have been reading the forums a bit as well.

 

[FWIW]

Hi,first off to that pic.Im sorry to say,but it looks like group of big nerds.Is this maths class?I cant stop cringing.

To your appareance and life situation.Im in exact same position at uni. I have exactly same thoughts in my head all the time.So its normal to think that.

Unfortunately, there is not much to do about it. Or there is - get hair.Since you say you have read this forum you know there is either hair transplant option or hairpiece. I dont feel you can play the shaved baddass role since you are not too high either.

The beard is too big it looks weird,not sexy.So trim it down. Facially I think you are good loking so you might build on that.

 

[Rudiger]

Oh god I didn't even notice until now but it doesn't help that the guy with the most winningnest smile and great hair/fringe is like, directly beside your face, right behind you.

Sorry but it's almost a bit funny, of course if this was me just looking at a normal picture of a class I'd never think of it, but in the context of posting it on a baldness forum, and he's just like RIGHT beside you, damn.

 

[M.G]

You don't look bad! Honestly, you look pretty decent despite the hairloss. Seem to be fit too.

Trim the beard down to stubble.

Hop on treatments.

And most importantly - just keep on trying with the women.

Seriously, the more you hit on the better. Some women are gonna be assholes, some are not gonna be. We just have to accept that and play the numbers game.

 

[Onyx3266]

Thanks for the kind words! Yeah, I work out a bit and I've seen good progress lol. I just need to tell myself that every guy has troubles balding or not...

 

[Rudiger]

What about treatments onyx?

 

[Onyx3266]

I have minoxidil, I just don't know how to go about getting finasteride.

 

[blackg]

I'm sure you'll get lots of advice on how to attract women from our resident slayers Zircon and Shookwun.

"resident slayers"! LOLz Damn!! You sure know how to make a guy laugh!!

 

[Exodus2011]

beard is way too thick, it looks a bit funny no offense lol. i can understand though, just trying to make up for baldness eh? i've done that myself (i'm full norwood 6) and i only shave it once i see a picture or look in the mirror and just go "wow" lol.

and yea you are pretty receded by like h.l. said you can still see the shadow so at least you have some frame. but if you shave or trim the beard i'd peg u like a 5-6, not that bad really.

as for finasteride, just get on it. you will need a prescription from the doctor and getting generic finasteride will reduce costs 90%

you will regret it if you don't, it treats the actual root cause of baldness, by reducing dht in the scalp. the track record of it is amazing. ignore the 0.1% here that lose their minds over placebo side effects. millions take it and the ones who are successful dont post about it on forums. they go on living life.

 

[blackg]

Your a handsome, in shape, man of color.
Trim the beard to a trendy style and the ladies will be all over your ***!
Seriously, dude!

 

[xetudor]

Waitresses are just doing their job, they are trying to be nice and that's it. Don't think twice about it. In your group photo you look like any other guy. I didn't even noticed your hair loss at first glance. I think your beard would look better if you trimmed it.

For your hair loss problems you should get on treatment. You go to a dermatologist and ask for treatment and they will give you a prescription for Finasteride. Read the label and decide for yourself.

As for your girl problems, nothing out of the ordinary. You're young and even had sex. You've got all the time in the world. And yes some women are so shallow that they may laugh at you (and anyone who doesn't fit their own views) but so what? Why should their stupidity be your problem?

 

[Marky]

onyx - for the sake of my own research did you see any correlation between the time you started having sex and when your hairloss started?