Thank you for all this information
@JaneyElizabeth .
As for the effects of HRT, hair is the most important for me, but I won't lie, most of the other effects beside gyno I think I will like a lot, like the lowered libido, emotional effects, better skin, less body hair etc. I might not be aiming to transition into a woman, but this does not mean I don't want to be a bit more androgynous or even feminine, not only in soul but also in body
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Feeling a bit inspired enough to take this on.
I have noted at times, not often, some of the reactions of others to the display of my "sissy" pride in terms of the progression of my hair but also facial and body changes compared to those into bodybuilding, which I deem to be similar in many ways.
Remember Entourage with Johnny Drama and the calf implants? For many, "building" an MtF body requires similar things in terms of opting for non-strength training versus training in movement, grace, limberness, and using both surgery and steroidal intervention to push our bodies to to look a way that would be impossible otherwise. I think that bodybuilding is seen here as having value in itself while MtF "bodybuilding" is seen as frivolous or shocking.
Somehow leaning over and smiling, yes, a stereotypical female posture in media, is seen as more threatening than flexing all but pornographic pecs/breasts and waterboard abs for all to admire, if not lust over, is just as much of a frank thing sexually but hidden behind the utility of "improving the male form" and health. It shocks me too to see my unclothed breasts in spite of my being fully XY and legal and all because they look feminine. Somehow gyno looks yuck but not feminine. FtM's post shirtless pics which seem to shock no one. Female-looking body parts seem to be sexualized and I know that so I try to weigh that against the aspect that guys/XY need to know what they are potentially going to end up looking like.
The psychological effects are pretty much unavoidable albeit tempered by education, culture, manners and body size. I estimate that it is necessary to hit higher than normal cis-female targets for several years to provide an environment in which hair restoration can occur. Compare this to cis-females who also might exceed average levels for a while but who comprise all but the null set compared to MtF's in terms of consistently being able to hit these higher levels for many years without apparent insult to health. Many transitioning MtF's even aside from beard removal, which can take five to ten years off one's face, look very young and estrogen moves incrementally, males faces back towards the cartoon ideal of big mouths and big eyes dominating perception of facial features and being closer together as opposed to more spread out by bone growth and lack of cheek fat.
Focusing on the psychological aspect, we have very little way to test any of this save anecdotally, empirically and looking back at the history of involuntary castration and eunuchs. None of this conversation is particularly polite dinner conversation but most of the stereotypes are true about T and E2 and account for the differences between XX's and XY's. Now, the various types of intersex people also exhibit certain tendencies here. But it's not discrimination or an accident that with the exception of charges for substance abuse, women are largely not found in the correctional system. To me, the "feminist" argument that nurture entirely or primarily accounts for difference accounts between the sexes is all but bereft of any data in support of it except that yes, education, culture and the notion of being a gentleman, are social tactics used to milk the best from especially young XY's, as opposed to the rage.
Body size probably accounts for the rest of the inclination of females and males towards stereotypical work--yes, small hands were better for short-hand and typing while only men and quite large and strong ones continue to do 99 percent of the stereotypical work done by males historically. Robots and computers are siphoning off some of that work as well. Smaller, "well-behaved", diplomatic males are much more likely in my estimation to achieve success today than very large, aggressive, males, mainly inclined towards substance abuse and rage. I have felt that rage and I know it well. It goes along with less discernment about say driving speeds or how much alcohol is enough.
Estradiol in my opinion will tone down the male "rough" edges in virtually all males as age and T-related decline pursuant thereto does eventually as well. I also note though an increase in "giddiness" that seems stereotypically female, that I encounter at levels above 300 pg/ml. I have always been an irreverent person but this aspect seems to be again, at say, adolescent levels in terms of not understanding the "grown-ups" who run the country and why they are all always so serious.
While HRT at adult cis-female levels will almost entirely remove the incel/cuckold compulsive "loser" psychological aspect that I see on here to a disturbing extent and this same vibe, if you will has taken over a lot of p**rn/transgender p**rn, it might be replaced at higher E2 levels by a different sort of submissive posture both towards "real. i.e., cis-females", especially attractive and "leader" types as well as something in between being agender and not especially resistant to what might be called "sl*t" mentality among certain types of cis-females. Some MtF's are actively shooting to look and be perceived as "bimbos" or bambi's as they are also referred to. The eunuch notion of MtF's without SRS having very high value seems to have made deep inroads into homosexual culture with its former emphasis on tops, bottoms and versatile's. My joke about versatile male homosexual couples is that they never have sex because neither one cares enough to say "bottoms up".
I know people say or want to say, "stick with the hair, Janey", and leave the speeches to Malcom X but all of us know that HRT is fraught with both psychological baggage and psychological peril. Many people think that I am somehow enticing the young of the HairLossTalk.com world into transgenderism but in my mind, I do the opposite. But if my hair grows back, which seems to be, inevitable Goddess be blessed, then I know people in my family will try to say that I left my wife and children to pursue hair or something equally vapid. But because in my own situation, I cannot still distinguish between being transgender and androgynous but male, I struggle to see how others can do this with the very rare exception of people like Bridge, who also has an accepting partner.
I essentially see three categories of XY's now: those born feeling female from birth, who often transition early, those now using it for hair and other things as either straight or non-binary and those like me, who had age non-dependent psychological movement towards feeling/being female "inside" that had an apparent rapid onset after my family was complete, perhaps freeing me psychologically of needing to be male.
Because of its effects on tissue regeneration and extensive skin, fat, ligament, tendon and cartilage effects, E2 therapy has a huge amount to offer older men as well. The younger XY's avoid some of the excesses of T on hair and face while older XY's might essentially have a semi-realistic 2nd Puberty, as well, as we call it, in which protuberances in many ways seem re-matrixed anew. This is, or can be all mind-blowing and the further from first puberty that one is, the more amazing it might seem.
It's likely this aspect that disturbs so many heteronormatives and I get it completely. People were grudgingly okay with "transsexuals" as they essentially went "poof" for the most part as "threats" to conventional society after SRS and SRS until recently was required before one could enter an HRT program. You had to sign a contract and you needed two doctors to post-sign it before surgery would be approved, even on your own dime. Such transsexual females were if anything, to me, it appears more cis-female-like than cis-females after surgery in terms of behavior and goals, and the primary one was fitting in among cis-females since psychologically most such were entirely female. Now we have people on the same medications, with a similar name but many of them/us are instead undermining clothing stereotypes that I personally oppose being compulsive but I find female clothing much more comfortable, expressive and attractive on the body that I currently have. I am not psychologically compelled to dress "female" but I don't want to give it up so that requires changes in my own familial and employment goals, along with target friendships.
So I differ here from some others who post because
ab initio, I see few if any physical risks of using HRT for hair. I see substantial psychological risks however from unleashing something that spirals into something inescapable potentially. People talk about de-transition in media a lot but they still do it from the viewpoint of transsexuals and that's
not how this works. Once a person perceives himself, herself, themself as trans, that's trans for life because the sexual preference aspect tends not to accompany the feminization aspect. A person who likes men can de-transition but then they are gay "again". Bridge appeared to be extraordinary in many ways. He was an interesting and provocative writer, who drew viewers by folks just wanting to see what was possible. He was never anti-transgender nor pro-transgender, he was just Bridge, an extremely intelligent person, living in a very different culture who could seemingly balance all of this. It's a lot harder than Bridge made it because he was so secure in who he was and what he sought.
Finally, if this works for me like it did for Bridge, I have mixed feelings about it becoming widely done except by people facing limited life potential/suicidal ideation. The fact that we still don't know exactly why HRT feminizes hair and face so thoroughly for some and not for others or even most, might make it less of a psychological necessity for guys who do want their hair back but who want nothing to do with any of this transgender "stuff". It isolates their hair loss even further from females who largely lack baldness and non-white/Semitic races which face much less baldness in general and often no pubertal hair distinctions at all compared to white male scalp hair and beard hair. I have seen comments even by XY's with excellent hair results in which they appear to feel compelled to do this for their hair. I might have felt that way at the beginning but I no longer do but that's the aspect of feeling trapped, of Catch-22 and as Bart said, being damned if you do and damned if you don't. But testosterone is a ticking time bomb of sorts and hair loss waits for no man. Treatment delayed is often if not virtually always, something that is compulsive in fact in terms of hair loss because with the uncertain exception of HRT where everything works right, baldness is permanent for males.
Janey
