Why Elliot Rodger Couldn't Get A Girlfriend ?

Stanx22

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I can't explain Elliot Rodger. The guy was quite attractive, not that good looking, but i think he looked quite good. He was rich, and his father was a second unit director on the hunger games, so he had status. Some people assuming that he couldn't get a girlfriend because his personality was weird and he didn't sound quite right because he was a psychopath. But in the last video of him "Elliot Rodger Retribution", he was 22 years old and he said that he was a kissless virgin. He also said that he had been chasing after girl for 8 years since he was 14 and got nothing but rejections. I don't think someone can be a psychopath for 8 years without anyone else noticing. And i don't think that anyone can notice that someone has psychological problems just by looking at them. Is the real reason that Elliot wasn't attractive enough ? Like seriously this dude had full head of hair and his face was average or quite above, but still that wasn't enough ? I'm not sure about that, but if that's the case, then i think we will see more of Elliot Rodger in the future.

(For people who want to prove me wrong for everything, i'm not encouraging this sh*t. It's just a prediction because a lot of people aren't mentally stable or strong enough and can turn insane, psychopaths because of loneliness. So don't get me wrong)
 
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redpilled

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I think you are sadly right that there will be more disenfranchised guys doing crazy things in the future. Strong societies prevent this kind of thing from happening. Strong societies enfranchise every individual. Not blaming society directly (of course, we must ultimately take responsibility for our actions), but a weak society encourages this kind of craziness.
 

hanginginthewire

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He had a creepy vibe that people picked up on. Human beings are animals. I'm sure in nature there's times where your fellow animals sniff you and *something isn't quite right* and the herd will completely shun you and leave you to die, and that's what happened to Elliot Rodgers. Combined with the fact that he felt entitled to a better fate because of his socioeconomic status. But when you are fucked on a genetic/animalistic level, that doesn't matter. Nature doesn't give a f*** about your Prada sunglasses or Masseratti or whatever it was.
 

redpilled

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He had a creepy vibe that people picked up on. Human beings are animals. I'm sure in nature there's times where your fellow animals sniff you and *something isn't quite right* and the herd will completely shun you and leave you to die, and that's what happened to Elliot Rodgers. Combined with the fact that he felt entitled to a better fate because of his socioeconomic status. But when you are fucked on a genetic/animalistic level, that doesn't matter. Nature doesn't give a f*** about your Prada sunglasses or Masseratti or whatever it was.

But he was creepy because he felt shunned by society. If society didn't shun him, he wouldn't be creepy. This is where society fails itself. Society treats its people like meat. If you are not up to standard, society rejects you. Then that person rejects society. Society needs to up its game and truly become civilised.
 

Stanx22

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He had a creepy vibe that people picked up on. Human beings are animals. I'm sure in nature there's times where your fellow animals sniff you and *something isn't quite right* and the herd will completely shun you and leave you to die, and that's what happened to Elliot Rodgers. Combined with the fact that he felt entitled to a better fate because of his socioeconomic status. But when you are fucked on a genetic/animalistic level, that doesn't matter. Nature doesn't give a f*** about your Prada sunglasses or Masseratti or whatever it was.
I don't think his genetics was that bad. He was like 6.5/10 and could have even been 7 if he had tried to improve his looks. If 6.5 or 7/10 is being "Fucked on a genetic level" Then 85% of men will die virgins.
 

hanginginthewire

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I don't think his genetics was that bad. He was like 6.5/10 and can even be 7 if he tried to improve his looks. If 6.5 or 7/10 is being "Fucked on a genetic level" Then 85% of men will die virgins.

Yes but genes effect more than just your appearance. If you are terminally socially awkward, a congenital braggart/delusional, mentally ill narcissist, there can be a genetic component to that. I see plenty of regular or even handsomeish guys who are incel and alone because they are probably on the spectrum and CANNOT understand basic social communication. According to Chomsky, language is a biological system no different than your immune system is a biological system. And if you are biologically compromised in your ability to communicate, socialize, and relate to others, then your genes have played a role in hobbling you.

But yeah, I agree that this can be sometimes ameliorated by a more compassionate society that wasn't constantly shopping for human beings the way we shop for any commodity, ie making snap, superficial judgements and rejecting people for being human (imperfect) basically.

I don't know, I can't feel that sorry for Rodgers. He was just as shallow as the women he was angry at, and coupled with his megalomania and ego it was a bad combination play.
 

Stanx22

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Yes but genes effect more than just your appearance. If you are terminally socially awkward, a congenital braggart/delusional, mentally ill narcissist, there can be a genetic component to that. I see plenty of regular or even handsomeish guys who are incel and alone because they are probably on the spectrum and CANNOT understand basic social communication. According to Chomsky, language is a biological system no different than your immune system is a biological system. And if you are biologically compromised in your ability to communicate, socialize, and relate to others, then your genes have played a role in hobbling you.

But yeah, I agree that this can be sometimes ameliorated by a more compassionate society that wasn't constantly shopping for human beings the way we shop for any commodity, ie making snap, superficial judgements and rejecting people for being human (imperfect) basically.

I don't know, I can't feel that sorry for Rodgers. He was just as shallow as the women he was angry at, and coupled with his megalomania and ego it was a bad combination play.
Elliot was heavily bullied and abused when he was young. He had no friends and was an outcast. His father and mother divorced when he was young and his father left to marry another woman. He was kissless virgin at 22 years old. And after all that you expect him not to be social awkward or mentally ill ?
 

hanginginthewire

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Elliot was heavily bullied and abused when he was young. He had no friends and was an outcast. His father and mother divorced when he was young and his father left to marry another woman. He was kissless virgin at 22 years old. And after all that you expect him not to be social awkward or mentally ill ?

I guess it's somewhat of a chicken-egg situation. Lots of dudes are virgins in their 20s and the children of divorce and got bullied (who didn't?).

They don't all go on homicidal rampages of random girls and then take their own life. I'm sure Rodger's issues were exacerbated by some shitty (but fairly universal) stuff he went through.

He couldn't get a gf because 1) he was too picky and 2) he was mentally ill and people sussed that out when they interacted with him. It's not because he was the child of divorce and because society is straight up evil. Society is pretty shallow but most people seem to find their way.
 

Stanx22

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I guess it's somewhat of a chicken-egg situation. Lots of dudes are virgins in their 20s and the children of divorce and got bullied (who didn't?).

They don't all go on homicidal rampages of random girls and then take their own life. I'm sure Rodger's issues were exacerbated by some shitty (but fairly universal) stuff he went through.

He couldn't get a gf because 1) he was too picky and 2) he was mentally ill and people sussed that out when they interacted with him. It's not because he was the child of divorce and because society is straight up evil. Society is pretty shallow but most people seem to find their way.
I also think his family should be blamed for not looking after him or caring about him. I know what he went through a lot of people go through, but as i stated earlier in my post, some people aren't mentally strong enough to endure much suffering or loneliness. I have all of his problems and another shittier problems above them and i would never do what he done, but every individual is different.
 

davesmith420

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Because he had a creepy as f*** personality and didn't know how to properly interact with other human beings (i.e., he had ASD).

A lot of this Lookism and Sluthate ideologies forgets about the importance of personality. Sure if you're good looking you'll get a lot of ***, but if you have an undesirable personality no one is going to want to be in a serious relationship with you. If you do, it likely won't last long. I get told that I'm "good looking" when I post pictures of myself online and occasionally from the flirty girl in person, but my relationship history has been complete sh*t because of my awkward/sh*t personality. I fall into this trap of going on 1-2 dates with a girl, hooking up, then never hearing from them again (i.e., getting "ghosted"). I learned from a friend of a friend that a girl I went on a date with and hooked up with told him that I was "good looking but weird as f***." Such is life I guess.
 

Dante92

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As much as I find his figure tragic, he was unstable to say the least. Millions of guys live his same sh*t everyday, but they don't snap and kill innocent people. They try to come with terms with their inceldom or legit ugliness, just as I did. But he was unable to, and he snapped.
 

blackg

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But he was creepy because he felt shunned by society. If society didn't shun him, he wouldn't be creepy. This is where society fails itself. Society treats its people like meat. If you are not up to standard, society rejects you. Then that person rejects society. Society needs to up its game and truly become civilised.
It's a chicken and egg type thing.
 

Afro_Vacancy

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After he died, I read his screed, all 140 pages. I was very curious.

1) He had anti-social attitudes which prevented him from making social contact with people. He never put in significant effort to make friends or have a girlfriend, he made micro-efforts here and there that didn't lead to fruition and then he would give up. This was true from an early age, as he writes that his step mom would beg him to leave the house and interact with others rather than play Pokemon all day. He wrote of her like she was a nagging woman, an angry b**ch, but as an outsider I'm seeing a woman who was desperate to help him and fearing the future.

2) He was entitled and wasn't willing to make the effort. For example, he talked to two girls in the streets once, they didn't respond to him well so he threw coffee at them. A criminal act. He went to one party, it didn't go well, so he tried to pick a fight with the women but men intervened and then he got injured. He just didn't try very hard and didn't make the investment necessary. Another one was weightlifting, he figured that with more muscles he would get more women. He quit weightlifting after three weeks because he didn't get enough results. He thought about getting rich by becoming a screenwriter, he wrote that he had ideas for science fiction movies, but he didn't even write 10% of a screenplay as it looked like it would take decades to land him success. He tried to apply for part-time jobs, but he thought the jobs available were not worthy to a man of his intellect. He also dropped out of school.

I don't recall him trying online dating.

3) He had high standards. He wanted "hot blondes".

4) Being rich and good-looking by your standards won't go that far for somebody like Rodger who grows up in a well-monied community in Santa Barbara. The standards there are much higher.

Here's my review of his screed, which I wrote back in the day:

This weekend, 22 year-old Elliot Rodger shot 7 people, and 3 bodies were found in his apartment, in Santa Barbara near the UCSB campus. This shooter was angry at the world and in particular at the fact he couldn't get hot blondes, so he sought to kill women and the men they date.

Rodger had a significant online presence, he posted several youtube videos detailing his plans a few weeks prior to the murder, and he posted on various forums like PUAhate.com. He wrote a 140 page manifesto, which I read this afternoon. He posted on bodybuilding.com, a website about nutrition and fitness I used to frequent in the early 2000s. He was told to f*** off. Some summary of his web presence can be found here:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/kashmir...print-of-santa-barbara-shooter-elliot-rodger/

Out of morbid curiosity, I read his 140 page manifesto this afternoon. I wanted to see if I could extract answers. There's a series of problems and non-problems.

1) I would not blame his family, they did what they could. I can't fault his parents who seemed to have made significant efforts to improve his life. They arranged play-dates when he was small, they arranged for him to change schools when he was over-bullied, they made him go to summer camp, they took him out on vacations, they paid for him to see a psychiatrist (several shrinks actually), they even sent him to Morocco a few times so he'd experience something else. His step-mother forced him to go talk to some skateboarders when he was 8 or 9 or 10, and even though he ended up making friends with them he resented her for years and years afterwards. His childhood seemed mostly decent, he talked about play-dates, nintendo 64, pokemon, etc.

In fact I would not blame the people in his life based on what I read.

His school, he doesn't seem to mention the principals and teachers at all. He was bullied, but not at the extreme end of the scale by any means. A lot of people have been bullied.

There's these two guys, Philip and Addison, who kept meeting him even though he kept getting into fights with them. I was wondering if they kept meeting him out of a sense of obligation because they were afraid he was going to be suicidal / homicidal. This was confirmed later on in the diatribe when Addison says to him not do anything rash. People were trying to help.

Therapists and psychiatrists were also trying to help and meeting him in separate occasions and in separate places. They did call the police on him.

2) I definitely blame the police for what happened, they could have prevented this. First of all he had gotten into a fight at a party ~1 year prior to the shooting where he tried to injure some girls that he was angry at because they were not throwing themselves at him, other guys jumped in to protect the girls and he broke his leg. He should have had a file for that, at the very least. There were tons of witnesses. Subsequently, a few weeks prior to the shooting, police were informed of his problems and creepy youtube videos, and 7 officers showed up at his house. He writes in his manifesto that if they had seen his room they would have found the three guns and the notes on his kill. But they left the scene because "he didn't seem suspicious". If this guy had been black and worn a hoodie, he would have been caught for sure.

Heads should definitely roll over this. The police officers were either too lazy to file the paperwork for a search warrant or too racist to be suspicious of a white male. It's awful.

3) The culture of white male privilege, and the related sociology of rape culture, contributed to this crime. He was angry at the world because he couldn't get hot blondes. He wrote comments like this:

Quote:
"You girls have never been attracted to me. I don't know why you girls aren't attracted to me. But I will punish you all for it. It's an injustice. A crime. Because I don't know what you don't see in me. I'm the perfect guy. And yet you throw yourselves at all these obnoxious men, instead of me: the supreme gentleman. I will punish you all for it. ...

How could an inferior, ugly black boy be able to get a white girl and not me? I am beautiful, and I am half-white myself. I am descended from British aristocracy. He is descended from slaves." - Elliot Rodger

He assumed that he was entitled to hot blondes, and throughout his screed it seems to be the core of his resentment, that they never throw themselves at him. He assumed that he was entitled, and he was angry for being ignored. Note that he never talks about being rejected by a girl anywhere in his screed unless I missed it, I think he never bothered to ask a girl out, he certainly never wrote anything extended about trying to woo a girl. The only things he did as effort to get "hot blondes" were working out for two weeks just one time (two weeks !!!), moving to a party neighbourhood of Santa Barbara, and wearing expensive clothes. It's all passive and meek, as he clearly assumed that he should be given things including women. It wasn't just women -- he was passive and meek about everything else (more further down).

He never talks about his failures to connect to women as people, in fact he acknowledges never talking to them except for a therapist he met at age ~20, he only talks about his inability to get sex.

4) Two other components of that white male entitlement that manifested themselves are his total laziness / lack of ambition and his obsession with status and material goods.

I don't know to what extent his screed describes what he was over the 20 years, but it seems his only continuing interest is "pretty girls". He had no hobbies or interests that he stuck to, except maybe for world of warcraft and science fiction / fantasy, and most of what he took up (hackey sack, skateboarding, writing, etc) he quit in frustration within a year or less of picking it up. At one point he wanted to become a screenwriter, but he quit within a few weeks because he realised it would take decades to become successful, by which point he would be too old to attract hot blondes.

If he lacked "charm" with which to attract "hot blondes", it may have been because he never became interesting, which may have been because he never developed his own personality. He was more interested in fitting in than in being his own person even though he consistently wrote the opposite. There's a disturbing event that encapsulates all of this on page 100. He is attending college in what I think he wrote was a "last try" and his courses are math, sociology, english, film, I think. In his math class, he sees a pretty girl, he then looks her up on Facebook and sees that she is going out with a jock. So he drops his math class, and soon after, he drops all his classes. He writes that he doesn't want to torture himself seeing all those girls he could never have as nothing beneficial could come of it. He then writes that this was the day he crossed the threshold that made the day of retribution inevitable.

Though he actually "tried" a few more strategies afterwards. He thought that if he became a multi-millionaire he would be able to get pretty girls. He became obsessed with buying lottery tickets and spent many thousands of dollars on lottery tickets, he then says he feels the universe is against him because he was not the one who won.

On his obsession with material goods, several times when he wrote about luxury he would go on for pages and pages. At one point he delayed his shootings I think because his mother got first class plane tickets and he wanted to enjoy the rides. He talks a lot about all the buffets he got to eat, eating wine, et cetera. One time when boarding a first class flight he smirked at the economy passengers who had to wait in line.

5) Off-Topic: this guy was somewhat integrated in Hollywood.

Went to the red carpet premieres for the three star wars prequel movies (his mother was friends with george lucas), return of the king, and the first hunger games (his father was second unit director).
Had a crush on Ashton Moio (http://thehungergames.wikia.com/wiki/Ashton_Moio) 's sister when she was 12
He exchanged some emails with Dale Launer, a successful screenwriter and friend of his father's, who was trying to get him to have a different attitude to women. He quit responding to these emails because he figured Launer couldn't help him.
 

WhitePolarBear

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After he died, I read his screed, all 140 pages. I was very curious.

1) He had anti-social attitudes which prevented him from making social contact with people. He never put in significant effort to make friends or have a girlfriend, he made micro-efforts here and there that didn't lead to fruition and then he would give up. This was true from an early age, as he writes that his step mom would beg him to leave the house and interact with others rather than play Pokemon all day. He wrote of her like she was a nagging woman, an angry b**ch, but as an outsider I'm seeing a woman who was desperate to help him and fearing the future.

2) He was entitled and wasn't willing to make the effort. For example, he talked to two girls in the streets once, they didn't respond to him well so he threw coffee at them. A criminal act. He went to one party, it didn't go well, so he tried to pick a fight with the women but men intervened and then he got injured. He just didn't try very hard and didn't make the investment necessary. Another one was weightlifting, he figured that with more muscles he would get more women. He quit weightlifting after three weeks because he didn't get enough results. He thought about getting rich by becoming a screenwriter, he wrote that he had ideas for science fiction movies, but he didn't even write 10% of a screenplay as it looked like it would take decades to land him success. He tried to apply for part-time jobs, but he thought the jobs available were not worthy to a man of his intellect. He also dropped out of school.

I don't recall him trying online dating.

3) He had high standards. He wanted "hot blondes".

4) Being rich and good-looking by your standards won't go that far for somebody like Rodger who grows up in a well-monied community in Santa Barbara. The standards there are much higher.

Here's my review of his screed, which I wrote back in the day:

The quote that you bolded...

My cousin is currently telling me that "he knows everything".

A common pattern for bitter people with delusions of grandeur.

My cousin converted to Islam and incarnates the worst of all toxic ideologies that are currently popular.

He thinks communism is a great idea, that Hitler was right and that we are slaves to the Jews, that the poor Arabs are oppressed by the rich Jews, etc.

Nothing has real value, there is no up, no down, there is only the oppressor and the oppressed.

The mean oppressive and successful slayer and the kind oppressed and unsuccessful incel. @Dante92

One word: envy.

Relevant: http://www.pnas.org/content/114/31/8420.abstract
 
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PappinAce

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Because he had a creepy as f*** personality and didn't know how to properly interact with other human beings (i.e., he had ASD).

A lot of this Lookism and Sluthate ideologies forgets about the importance of personality. Sure if you're good looking you'll get a lot of ***, but if you have an undesirable personality no one is going to want to be in a serious relationship with you. If you do, it likely won't last long. I get told that I'm "good looking" when I post pictures of myself online and occasionally from the flirty girl in person, but my relationship history has been complete sh*t because of my awkward/sh*t personality. I fall into this trap of going on 1-2 dates with a girl, hooking up, then never hearing from them again (i.e., getting "ghosted"). I learned from a friend of a friend that a girl I went on a date with and hooked up with told him that I was "good looking but weird as f***." Such is life I guess.

damn dude. sounds like the typical judgmental basic b****s of america. while you probably are "weird" in your own way, i'm guessing it's not in a BAD way? if you're weird as in self-absorbed and creepy, i can understand. but i don't get that impression from you. can you identify some specific things that would make a girl classify you as weird?

He was entitled and wasn't willing to make the effort. For example, he talked to two girls in the streets once, they didn't respond to him well so he threw coffee at them.

lmao. some of the scenarios he describes in that book are so ludicrous i couldn't help but laugh my butt off. when he sees the college students playing and laughing in the meadow, he buys a super soaker, fills it with orange juice, and sprays it at them while screaming in rage.
 

Dench57

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his step mom would beg him to leave the house and interact with others rather than play Pokemon all day.

pfff, his mom didn't realise how good Pokemon was
 

davesmith420

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damn dude. sounds like the typical judgmental basic b****s of america. while you probably are "weird" in your own way, i'm guessing it's not in a BAD way? if you're weird as in self-absorbed and creepy, i can understand. but i don't get that impression from you. can you identify some specific things that would make a girl classify you as weird?

I would like to think that it isn't in a bad way either; I think a lot of it has to do with me going for the wrong kinds of girls (interests wise). Literally my only interests outside of my graduate studies is music (listening to and playing guitar hours a day) and reading up on politics. A few of the girls I have had this problem with were sorority type girls, a type I would never mesh well with to begin with. I would like to think it is not because I'm creepy or something lol. If anything I'm just really awkward during conversations; I used to have a moderate stutter when I was younger (it is very vey mild now) but I feel like the social anxiety I had associated with it limited some of my social development and now over the last few years I've been trying to play "catch up" (e.g., I never had sex with a girl until I was 20, etc).
 

Guzam

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I can't explain Elliot Rodger. The guy was quite attractive, not that good looking, but i think he looked quite good. He was rich, and his father was a second unit director on the hunger games, so he had status. Some people assuming that he couldn't get a girlfriend because his personality was weird and he didn't sound quite right because he was a psychopath. But in the last video of him "Elliot Rodger Retribution", he was 22 years old and he said that he was a kissless virgin. He also said that he had been chasing after girl for 8 years since he was 14 and got nothing but rejections. I don't think someone can be a psychopath for 8 years without anyone else noticing. And i don't think that anyone can notice that someone has psychological problems just by looking at them. Is the real reason that Elliot wasn't attractive enough ? Like seriously this dude had full head of hair and his face was average or quite above, but still that wasn't enough ? I'm not sure about that, but if that's the case, then i think we will see more of Elliot Rodger in the future.

(For people who want to prove me wrong for everything, i'm not encouraging this sh*t. It's just a prediction because a lot of people aren't mentally stable or strong enough and can turn insane, psychopaths because of loneliness. So don't get me wrong)

I suggest you to read his manifesto. The man was handsome and intelligent, but a bit maniacal and he had some psychopathic disorder.
Also he didn't fit the American Chad type in any way, and he lived in extremely American environments where all girls look for the One Chad and there's no diversity in pussy: only one type of stacy for one type of chad. This usually does not end well for the sanity of young men in college age who can't fit the Chad stereotype in any way.

Even if I'm a balding young man, i.e. a loser with no future, I am thankful that I lived my teenage years when I had hair (i.e. opportunities) in an environment with diverse-minded pussy.
This allowed me to get pussy without fitting the chad stereotype. A heterogeneous pussy environment is good, while a stacy filled environment is sh*t and marginalizes pretty much everyone except the various shades of the One Chad.
 

Stanx22

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The quote that you bolded...

My cousin is currently telling me that "he knows everything".

A common pattern for bitter people with delusions of grandeur.

My cousin converted to Islam and incarnates the worst of all toxic ideologies that are currently popular.

He thinks communism is a great idea, that Hitler was right and that we are slaves to the Jews, that the poor Arabs are oppressed by the rich Jews, etc.

Nothing has real value, there is no up, no down, there is only the oppressor and the oppressed.

The mean oppressive and successful slayer and the kind oppressed and unsuccessful incel. @Dante92

One word: envy.

Relevant: http://www.pnas.org/content/114/31/8420.abstract
I think your cousin is extreme because of Hitler and i don't actually support communism, but you clearly don't know anything about Zionist Jews. I have no problem with the normal Jews tho.
 
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