Unconventional Dating Anecdote From This Evening

[Afro_Vacancy]

I asked someone I know (smart, nice guy, with a thick NW2) how his date from two Fridays ago went. He responded with (paraphrasing) "they thought I seemed nice, they said they'd be interested in meeting up again, they seemed enthusiastic."

Can you notice anything non-standard?

The use of "they" in describing how his date was received. I told him that I noticed the use of the word "they", and I asked him if he was hooking up with a couple as part of a threesome, I don't remember if I gave him an impressed congratulatory nod when asking that. He said no, he wasn't hooking up with a couple. He just prefers to use gender-neutral language. Later on in our conversation he switched to using "she", he may have perceived that I found this unnatural.

This use of "they" as a gender-neutral pronoun is an emerging thing. Some people (I don't know if there are any outside academia) are against the use of "he" and "she" as it carries gendered connotations, and thus may serve to perpetuate discrimination. Many are arguing that we should instead all shift to using "they" as default, for both men and women.

I can kind of understand this when writing recommendation letters (which is the context in which I heard people advocate for "they"), but not here. Part of me wants to tell him that it may in fact be preferable to use gendered language in an explicitly and naturally gendered context like dating.

However, I worry that this may be antagonizing to him. Further, a lot more people know him since I'm still relatively new here, and it bothers me tht nobody has pointed this out to him.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

David, are you sure this is a worthwhile issue for you to spend your processor cycles on?

I don't know why, but your post made me laugh.

I also don't know the answer to your question. It may or may not be worthwhile. It probably isn't.

It is on my mind though since it was unusual and came up this evening.

 

[CaptainForehead]

Part of me wants to tell him that it may in fact be preferable to use gendered language in an explicitly and naturally gendered context like dating.

Dont. Nothing good will come out of it. You did your part when you asked whether he was dating a couple.

 

[Roberto_72]

Last year the New Yorker discussed the "singular they" problem.
Apparently they think it is bad English despite they are a rather progressive magazine.

http://www.newyorker.com/culture/cu...gular-their-part-two-a-gender-neutral-pronoun

 

[That Guy]

Last year the New Yorker discussed the "singular they" problem.
Apparently they think it is bad English despite they are a rather progressive magazine.

http://www.newyorker.com/culture/cu...gular-their-part-two-a-gender-neutral-pronoun

Yeah, referring to an individual with a plural pronoun makes my eye twitch.

 

[Medina]

Your friend sounds like a major Cuck. You need to punch in the face for his own good.

Who the f*** cares about gender pronouns. Do we really want to live in a world where everything is grey and neutral? It's f*****g boring man. There will always be the masculine and the feminine. There will always be the dominant and the submissive (even in homosexual and lesbian couples) It's not only natural but it's also fun and exciting. "They thought I seemed nice" lmao... yeah right, I bet "they" were soaking wet.

 

[mdmnota]

Haha, they, I would punch him in theirs face immediately for sure

 

[Dante92]

You're fiercely intelligent David, but is it wise to overthink such trivial matters?

If you're not enough attractive to get women, pronouns are the least of your concerns.

 

[Exodus2011]

You're fiercely intelligent David, but is it wise to overthink such trivial matters?

If you're not enough attractive to get women, pronouns are the least of your concerns.

could be worse. i look up feminist articles that make me rage trying to come to terms with how they think lmao. it was on my mind so much i went to the store and made up a whole metaphor about the store's inflated prices being like the inflated value of women nowadays lol (it was a convenient store).

 

[Dante92]

could be worse. i look up feminist articles that make me rage trying to come to terms with how they think lmao. it was on my mind so much i went to the store and made up a whole metaphor about the store's inflated prices being like the inflated value of women nowadays lol (it was a convenient store).

As we already read in the "guy throws himself in a volcano" thread, hypocrisy and double-standards are among the worst things a balding guy has to deal with in this society. And women possess both those features, especially evident when they go bald themselves.

 

[CopeForLife]

One word: americucks

David, are you sure this is a worthwhile issue for you to spend your processor cycles on?

That's one of the best posts ever.

 

[CopeForLife]

I asked someone I know (smart, nice guy, with a thick NW2) how his date from two Fridays ago went. He responded with (paraphrasing) "they thought I seemed nice, they said they'd be interested in meeting up again, they seemed enthusiastic."

Can you notice anything non-standard?

The use of "they" in describing how his date was received. I told him that I noticed the use of the word "they", and I asked him if he was hooking up with a couple as part of a threesome, I don't remember if I gave him an impressed congratulatory nod when asking that. He said no, he wasn't hooking up with a couple. He just prefers to use gender-neutral language. Later on in our conversation he switched to using "she", he may have perceived that I found this unnatural.

This use of "they" as a gender-neutral pronoun is an emerging thing. Some people (I don't know if there are any outside academia) are against the use of "he" and "she" as it carries gendered connotations, and thus may serve to perpetuate discrimination. Many are arguing that we should instead all shift to using "they" as default, for both men and women.

I can kind of understand this when writing recommendation letters (which is the context in which I heard people advocate for "they"), but not here. Part of me wants to tell him that it may in fact be preferable to use gendered language in an explicitly and naturally gendered context like dating.

However, I worry that this may be antagonizing to him. Further, a lot more people know him since I'm still relatively new here, and it bothers me tht nobody has pointed this out to him.

Also, from non-native speaker I think "it" is more appropriate as a "gender-neutral" pronoun. Like a dog or pig.

 

[swingline747]

Many are arguing that we should instead all shift to using "they" as default, for both men and women.
.

And many people are RE TARDS!

 

[hairblues]

Yeah, referring to an individual with a plural pronoun makes my eye twitch.

its retarded...I never heard it used in person because I am not in academia only on tv a bit and it just seems like a 'fad' to me that will fade out eventually.

People pay too much attention to nonsense.

How many people EVEN transitioning people don't KNOW they are male or female? LIKE next to no one teeny tiny fraction of people are literally confused..even a biological male who feels they are a woman inside--'she' KNOWS she wants to be referred to as a female when transitioning...so who is confused?
Maybe a small tiny fraction of people transitioning.
It is just a fad a trend that will go away.
Most of them will grow out of it when they graduate if people don't indulge them.
As for academics--the more they embrace it the less fascinated the younger will be with it.

 

[swingline747]

If you have one hour to spare:

The bill passed by the way. Compelled speech is now legal in Canada.

f*** them, I'm never using their made-up pronouns.

Thank god, this insanity will never come to Western Europe.

I hope. They're trying but all you see in the Facebook comment is: "Nice try, we know they've tried to implement that in the US, but don't bring this madness to Europe!"

I agree with @zircon , it seems like you're too smart for your own sake, like you're trying to find some validity in this insane idea.

Jordan Peterson went through all their literature and concluded that it was incoherent and just flat wrong. Don't give these people the time of the day.

Explain to them why they're wrong, and after they shame you for being insensitive and bigot, move on.

Its funny Fred, when you try to bring this up in the US people act like its science fiction. They dont realize people like Hillary would have brought this style of fascism here. All those people who wanted these kind of laws dont realize how fascist theyre really being. Intolerance is the stylish new tolerance.

 

[hairblues]

Its funny Fred, when you try to bring this up in the US people act like its science fiction. They dont realize people like Hillary would have brought this style of fascism here. All those people who wanted these kind of laws dont realize how fascist theyre really being. Intolerance is the stylish new tolerance.

LOL thats not true I am liberal and I work in arts in most liberal city in world arguably I NEVER heard people talking about this in relation to themselves only in theory and thinking it mostly stupid.

 

[hairblues]

These people are an extreme minority and even though they seem to exist only on the internet, they lurk in the shadows and they sometimes manage to gain power.

Either by themselves or through a few overly tolerant leftist leaders who will take them seriously. And when that happens, it's hell that breaks lose for the rest of society.

The rest of society, who not only doesn't give a f*** about their childish whims but also can see how batshit crazy they are.

I get what you are saying and their are some liberal leaders in USA who 'could' potentially go there (bill deblasio for one) but HRC weather you like her or dont like her she was way too politically savy (calculating) to think if she had been President she could actually do policy such as this and still be reelected.

Only President i have seen really pander to their base so extremely is Trump..ALL presidents move moe center to try and appeal to masses to keep numbers up....its not even a 'morality' thing its just practical to get re elected.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

It just seems like a weird thing to focus on, to the point where you are seriously considering the propriety of using a non-gendered pronoun in a conversation about dating, and whether you should call a person out for it.

You might not realize it but in my opinion this is a symptom of one of your weaknesses (rigid/on-the-spectrum thought process). Just shrug and move on.

I was going to respond to you last night, but I decided to wait a bit.

First, try and read posts properly please before responding. I am clearly *not* considering the propriety of using gender-neutral pronouns in a dating context. You understood the reverse of what I wrote and then you went on a pedestal. My concern was that someone I know is undermining himself, that this is a barrier to his happiness, and that apparently nobody has told him. All of that was clear, and yes it's normal.

Second, stop throwing around mental diagnoses like they're candy. You have none of the requisite education, training, qualifications, or tools to do so. Do you even know what "the spectrum" is? You probably do not. It's not as simple as grief or hunger, so don't use language and vocabulary that you don't understand, and don't make judgments. FWIW I also happen to think that large swaths of this forum need help (including yourself), but I don't think it's appropriate to give out specific diagnoses.

 

[swingline747]

LOL thats not true I am liberal and I work in arts in most liberal city in world arguably I NEVER heard people talking about this in relation to themselves only in theory and thinking it mostly stupid.

so we live in the same area? we conversate with the same people?

 

[swingline747]

I get what you are saying and their are some liberal leaders in USA who 'could' potentially go there (bill deblasio for one) but HRC weather you like her or dont like her she was way too politically savy (calculating) to think if she had been President she could actually do policy such as this and still be reelected.

Only President i have seen really pander to their base so extremely is Trump..ALL presidents move moe center to try and appeal to masses to keep numbers up....its not even a 'morality' thing its just practical to get re elected.

You are looking at HRC as her own person which she is not. She works for people, she works for the DNC and works for SOROS. Check out the emails from him to her basically ordering her to do things. For her to enact policy such as this is NOT to see it happen in her term/terms or even lifetime. Its to initiate the creep there for control. Trump by most means is fairly center, depending on what you think center is. He is pro LGBT, yet anti "ILLEGAL" immigration. So that stance makes him far right? Is it because he is pro life? Well roughly 50% of women are pro life, does that make them far right? He would not outlaw abortions, he would put it back to the states, which basically means it stays the way it is. Believe me Im PRO CHOICE!
Trump isnt president because he is Trump. Remember one thing, Trump is simply an ideology or figure head for the fact that a LARGE population of people are fed up with this country. Thats pretty much it. But hey what does our government do in response.... act like even BIGGER babies in response to him. Me and a couple buddies were discussing that REGARDLESS of polls and "approval ratings" if his 4 years were up right now and he ran again, he would STILL win because people are just fed up.

Also what do you consider "extreme pandering"? I have yet to see him say anything "extreme". Is wanting to build a real border with mexico extreme? I mean you could read all the danger in Mexico and see if you want to see it creeping here. You could also read some of the stories in states like Arizona where it HAS already crept here. Where people in suburbs are having neighborhood homes being bought by cartels to become meth houses. Where middle class people are being kidnapped for easy ransom money now. Aside violence theres just no reason to have open borders. many people come here legally, spending LOTS of time and money to do so, why should their hard work be minimized because a large swath of people just waltz in illegal and get forgiven?