The Shame, Guilt And Feelings Of Inadequacy Associated With Hair Loss

[razzmatazz91]

I've been numb for the past week... barely managing to get some work done and not get fired.
Today, I spend 10 hours in bed after I woke up just staring at the ceiling and crying.
I know it's unusual, but I suffer from clinical depression (before finasteride.... hold your horses on the sides)

Now I feel just barely able to type this post....and please do excuse the lack of congruence,,... I cant focus too well.

I think admitting that hair loss bothers you is seen as an admission of weakness.
"Dude... it's just a vanity issue"
"You won't go out with your friends because of a stupid problem like that??"
"You're overly self-conscious"
"It's all in your head"

Why do we have to face this day in and day out? Why can't a man keep his dignity while admitting that his hair loss truly bothers him? Why are hair transplants such a stigma?
Why does everyone hate us all so much?

I can't talk to any f*****g one. I'm totally isolated... i'm a joke during lunch at work, and i often use the toilet to take a few minutes to cry 4-5 times a day... I live alone, and I can't talk to my family about my problem because for them it's silly. This past week I've just been wanting to kill myself again. (I have had suicidal ideation before)

I know I need psychiatric help before hair right now.... but I'll keep relapsing. Being at a disadvantage in the social game leaves you with little to be happy about.

I don't know how much more of taking pills to be able to walk straight rather than into an oncoming car I can take. How many more days of total isolation and lack of self respect I can survive. I'm just a walking corpse now. This is no way to live.

 

[blackg]

I've been numb for the past week... barely managing to get some work done and not get fired.
Today, I spend 10 hours in bed after I woke up just staring at the ceiling and crying.
I know it's unusual, but I suffer from clinical depression (before finasteride.... hold your horses on the sides)

Now I feel just barely able to type this post....and please do excuse the lack of congruence,,... I cant focus too well.

I think admitting that hair loss bothers you is seen as an admission of weakness.
"Dude... it's just a vanity issue"
"You won't go out with your friends because of a stupid problem like that??"
"You're overly self-conscious"
"It's all in your head"

Why do we have to face this day in and day out? Why can't a man keep his dignity while admitting that his hair loss truly bothers him? Why are hair transplants such a stigma?
Why does everyone hate us all so much?

I can't talk to any f*****g one. I'm totally isolated... i'm a joke during lunch at work, and i often use the toilet to take a few minutes to cry 4-5 times a day... I live alone, and I can't talk to my family about my problem because for them it's silly. This past week I've just been wanting to kill myself again. (I have had suicidal ideation before)

I know I need psychiatric help before hair right now.... but I'll keep relapsing. Being at a disadvantage in the social game leaves you with little to be happy about.

I don't know how much more of taking pills to be able to walk straight rather than into an oncoming car I can take. How many more days of total isolation and lack of self respect I can survive. I'm just a walking corpse now. This is no way to live.

sh*t that was a heavy post and I really feel for you mate.
I know what its like to spend days with only your own thoughts for company.
Self loathing can really bring out the worst in us.

 

[razzmatazz91]

Thank you mate.

What I'm really trying to do now is keep myself alive. I use antidepressants and CBT (a therapy for depression) and they get me by sometimes. Most times, they dont.

What I'm pre-occupied with today is what to do now? I can't be a normal guy. I am intelligent, and wish I wasn't, because now I understand what being ugly entails. I can't make myself feel good either by believing the social media fluff, or by lying to myself: something which therapists seem to encourage depressed people to do. No, I am cursed with not only this infliction, but the perception of its effect on others around me and on myself.
So yes, the question in my mind is: Now what? What do I do now? I can't fight reality. I can't be a high-tier man. Based on the biological structure which came around 3.5 billion years ago, I am of low value.
I can already here some people I know saying: "What difference does it make what others think about you? Love yourself..."

Sigh. 3.5 Billion years of evolution! I can't change it by loving my f*****g self.

 

[whatintheworld]

You need to get out of your head man. Hang out with your friends, go hit on some women at the bar, exercise, take up some new hobbies. Get on treatments and save up for a transplant if this is killing you that much, remember there are always options.

 

[BaldyBalderBald]

You seemed to be prone to depression before your hair loss, sure that's not going to make things better.
I agree with other posters, try to focus your mind on other things by any means
What's your current hair situation ? Please don't tell me NW1.5....

 

[razzmatazz91]

I'm NW6 diffuse. And almost slick around NW3.5-4.
Still have vellus growth on my head, but i'm at a point where even shaving to the skin i look like a freak. The middle of my hairline has a thick af clump of hair, so even shaved to the skin, I look like a freak. There's just no way out for me.

@whatintheworld : go and hit on women? Being the ugly f*** I am? dude, I get insulted by women even if I don't approach. And most that are nice to me are either faking or just being nice to me. Besides, it is really terrible for my self esteem to try to talk to a girl if she's distracted by some chad... and most always are the moment i try to talk to them.
But I'm not knocking you man. Nothing personal.... I just can't seem to put one foot in front of the other anymore.

 

[razzmatazz91]

Please don't tell me NW1.5....

Wish I could mate.

 

[Runninghair]

Nothing you can do but try find contentment...

 

[BaldyBalderBald]

I'm NW6 diffuse. And almost slick around NW3.5-4.
Still have vellus growth on my head, but i'm at a point where even shaving to the skin i look like a freak. The middle of my hairline has a thick af clump of hair, so even shaved to the skin, I look like a freak. There's just no way out for me.

@whatintheworld : go and hit on women? Being the ugly f*** I am? dude, I get insulted by women even if I don't approach. And most that are nice to me are either faking or just being nice to me. Besides, it is really terrible for my self esteem to try to talk to a girl if she's distracted by some chad... and most always are the moment i try to talk to them.
But I'm not knocking you man. Nothing personal.... I just can't seem to put one foot in front of the other anymore.

Yep, pretty bad shape, maybe consider going through hair transplant then.
I know you don't want to hear that, but finasteride can make depression worse for those who are prone to it, but i won't say it's 100% drug fault, and you got to deal with it anyway, no other choices
You can't just stay isolated on your own mate, you'll go crazy for sure.
And yeah, as you said, a psychiatric help could be useful.
Isolation is your worst enemy, you have some family to spend time with ? This could be helpful

Wish I could mate.

Don't take it personaly, it's just that i've seen post like yours from NW1.5 people and...this makes me want to punch through my computer screen

 

[kj6723]

I've been numb for the past week... barely managing to get some work done and not get fired.
Today, I spend 10 hours in bed after I woke up just staring at the ceiling and crying.
I know it's unusual, but I suffer from clinical depression (before finasteride.... hold your horses on the sides)

Now I feel just barely able to type this post....and please do excuse the lack of congruence,,... I cant focus too well.

I think admitting that hair loss bothers you is seen as an admission of weakness.
"Dude... it's just a vanity issue"
"You won't go out with your friends because of a stupid problem like that??"
"You're overly self-conscious"
"It's all in your head"

Why do we have to face this day in and day out? Why can't a man keep his dignity while admitting that his hair loss truly bothers him? Why are hair transplants such a stigma?
Why does everyone hate us all so much?

I can't talk to any f*****g one. I'm totally isolated... i'm a joke during lunch at work, and i often use the toilet to take a few minutes to cry 4-5 times a day... I live alone, and I can't talk to my family about my problem because for them it's silly. This past week I've just been wanting to kill myself again. (I have had suicidal ideation before)

I know I need psychiatric help before hair right now.... but I'll keep relapsing. Being at a disadvantage in the social game leaves you with little to be happy about.

I don't know how much more of taking pills to be able to walk straight rather than into an oncoming car I can take. How many more days of total isolation and lack of self respect I can survive. I'm just a walking corpse now. This is no way to live.

Bro having a breakdown at work 4-5x a day is no joke. I really think you should seek out profession counselling/help

 

[Saurabhaj]

You should say bye bye to your hairs and enjoy life.
Shave your dome.

What will you get even if your friends accept that you are having disadvantage.


Try to manage other parts of life.

Forget about hairloss and live breakfree life.

 

[PappinAce]

do you have pets? dogs and cats don’t give a sh*t how much hair we have on our heads i’ve found animals to be the only source of companionship in a world where humans are not that great.

but definitely you want to find a way to get out of bed in the morning as a first priority. what do you do for a living? hobbies?

one day at a time. keep fighting. everything is temporary.

 

[CopeForLife]

OTS

 

[Stanx22]

You should say bye bye to your hairs and enjoy life.
Shave your dome.

What will you get even if your friends accept that you are having disadvantage.


Try to manage other parts of life.

Forget about hairloss and live breakfree life.

Are you actually serious ?

 

[ManinBlack]

I know that feel. I was so depressed this summer about hair loss (among other issues) that I had to be hospitalized in a psychiatric ward for 10 days. I am on antidepressants now and doing much better. But losing your hair is seriously depressing.

 

[razzmatazz91]

Yep, pretty bad shape, maybe consider going through hair transplant then.
I know you don't want to hear that, but finasteride can make depression worse for those who are prone to it, but i won't say it's 100% drug fault, and you got to deal with it anyway, no other choices
You can't just stay isolated on your own mate, you'll go crazy for sure.
And yeah, as you said, a psychiatric help could be useful.
Isolation is your worst enemy, you have some family to spend time with ? This could be helpful


Don't take it personaly, it's just that i've seen post like yours from NW1.5 people and...this makes me want to punch through my computer screen

I know... lots of young guys going nuts with a 1.5 Norwood hairline... Seen a fair share myself.
I don't wan to be isolated... but going out is f*****g painful. Especially when people I knew before hair loss keep kindly reminding me that I looked good a three years ago.

Bro having a breakdown at work 4-5x a day is no joke. I really think you should seek out profession counselling/help

I can't. No help nearby. I do go a a shrink, he's a long way away. He's almost given up on me after a couple of years.... so its medication if I go back.
I think the worst thing is that I UNDERSTAND the problems I face because of it, and I can't just sweet-talk my way into a better life. It's not going to happen.

You should say bye bye to your hairs and enjoy life.
Shave your dome.

What will you get even if your friends accept that you are having disadvantage.

Try to manage other parts of life.

Forget about hairloss and live breakfree life.

Please leave this thread alone buddy.

do you have pets? dogs and cats don’t give a sh*t how much hair we have on our heads i’ve found animals to be the only source of companionship in a world where humans are not that great.

but definitely you want to find a way to get out of bed in the morning as a first priority. what do you do for a living? hobbies?

one day at a time. keep fighting. everything is temporary.

No, I don't have pets. I have a dog at my parents house... but I start crying the moment I see him. I don't want to make my misery a part of his, or any other person's life.

OTS

What?

I know that feel. I was so depressed this summer about hair loss (among other issues) that I had to be hospitalized in a psychiatric ward for 10 days. I am on antidepressants now and doing much better. But losing your hair is seriously depressing.

Sorry to hear about that. I think because I'm suicidal, I should get hospitalized as well. I would by now if I was in the States. But I live in India, so it ain't gonna happen until I try to kill myself. Besides, did you know attempting suicide is a crime in India? Max sentence is 2 years.


One thing I want to hear from members:
If I, a young guy at 26, came up to you and said that I need help.
It's not just the hair loss and the issues because of it........ but the fact that I feel guilty and horrible ABOUT ADMITTING THAT MY HAIRLOSS BOTHERS ME. What would you guys tell me? I really want to know, since that's how I feel.

I'm not only ashamed of my hair loss, but ashamed of the shame it brings. And ashamed that I want to do something about it.

 

[blackg]

Society wants you to feel ashamed about your hair loss.
(not me)
It's a look that has bothered people for millennia.

 

[Silber]

It is just crazy. People have treatment for the smallest issues.
Hair falling off is a big and horrible disease. And we are supposed not to mind.

 

[razzmatazz91]

Today I went to a phychologist. Had been having suicidal thoughts and total apathy for a week, so I thought I should ask for help.

And I was told to take medication..... and that HAIR LOSS IS THE STUPIDEST REASON FOR SOMEONE TO BE ON ANTI-DEPRESSANTS..... IT'S A SMALL ISSUE.
I was also told to TAKE IT AS A CHALLENGE OF LIFE.
I've known this psychologist for a while.....and I got reminded that I'm the smartest man (IQ wise) she's ever seen in her career. I tried to argue that it is precisely that intelligence that allows me to see social dynamics and sexual hierarchies very easily.... but to no avail.

Needless to say, I walked out numb... and feeling even more ashamed of myself.

 

[Runninghair]

Man... hair loss sucks