The Frequent "official" Origin Of My Recent Failures With Women

[CaptainForehead]

I dated a lot when I was considered "attractive". Every woman I went out with wanted to continually date me, have a relationship and eventually talked about marriage and kids. Since I gained weight, aged (due to perpetual injury, drinking and sleeping pills), and, most importantly, lost my hair to the point I look like a sickly chemo patient... women don't even look at me any more. Dead serious. I had a lack of faith in women to begin with. Now, I just seriously think they are selfish and shallow as hell. Point is... drop it dude. You will never find happiness in women. very, very few have. You don't need women to be happy, you need yourself.

Buck, how is your alcohol abstinence going?

 

[CaptainForehead]

This point needs to be elaborated a but more. Relying on others for your own happiness is a dangerous prospect. I was happily married once but then divorce happened and my life turned upside down and it took me a few years to recover. I am not sure if I have recovered 100%. If I meet a women again and settle down with her, what's the guarantee it wouldn't happen again? There is none. I think, every man and women should look within themselves for happiness. Are you happy on your own? If not, find means to happiness. My means to happiness is my family and friends, my physique, tv shows, books, traveling, movies, working out etc. They give me great pleasure.

How did you fare financially in the divorce?

How did you go from happily married to divorce?

 

[CaptainForehead]

It's mostly about looksmaxing, so keep on doing that.

And then you have to accept that modern dating is inherently chaotic.

With experience, you learn to identify real opportunities and the girls that are truly interested in you.

Before I met my current girlfriend, I really was on top of my game, in the sense that I knew how to optimize my dating life.

Of course that didn't mean that I stopped making mistakes, sometimes I still lost my temper with a girl online, sometimes I would get mad that a girl accepted to have a date with me while her attraction for me was non-existent, I would get even madder when they would tell me that they already felt nothing when they saw my pictures (but they thought I could seduce them as I was nice-looking and seemed to have my sh*t together), etc.

But those instances became rare. Also I knew exactly how to handle certain situations. Like the girls who would throw tantrums because I wasn't behaving how they were expecting me to behave. For example "I really liked you but you don't text me often enough! I can't go on like this!". I stood my ground, told her I really liked her, that it would be a shame to stop here, and that I was available if she changed her mind.

And of course, a week later or so (when she realized her other prospects weren't as good), she came back crawling "I want to see you again, I'm not crazy! ". Thanks to my looksmaxing (and I wasn't even gymcelling at the time), my extensive experience, my height probably, my social intuition and my realism (as @pjhair just said above, you have to stay within your league), my dating life became very pleasant.

What I see in @buckthorn 's post is just bitterness due to a failure to accept reality as it is. Yes, looks matter a lot. Yes, the competition is fierce (and that's why you need to optimize your looks), yes, incidentally women can be very demanding and unforgiving. Yes, things like hair (get on meds/get a hair transplant!) and height matter too. And yes, you need to remain realistic about your expectations, you need to know your true worth.

When I see myself a few years back: bald, slightly overweight (I see it now), mostly inexperienced, short-tempered, weak (mentally) and at the same time complaining about my dating life being hell, in the sense that women were treating me like crap, withdrawing sex very early in the relationship and in the end, either dumping me for a better-looking guy or constantly complaining about me not being good enough, "not making an effort", which in turn drove me to leave them...

Was that behavior normal and even expected? With everything I know now, absolutely. After I got better physically (hair transplant, some weight loss) and mentally (dating experience), all the above pretty much disappeared, and never came back, despite me dating like 15 girls in a year. All of a sudden they were all puppies that were walking on eggshells when interacting with me.

That's a long post... I hope you guys can take something away from it. In the end, there's no use complaining about women and ultimately, about real life and how it works.

You just have to put in the work (looksmaxing, getting experience, play the numbers game), discover what you plateau is and accept it no matter what your expectations were beforehand. And that's the hardest part for many people it seems.

I got to have 4 quality (cute, not fat, educated) girlfriends on my level (6-6.5/10) that were treating me very kindly and who all wanted a relationship with me. More than that was clearly unmanageable. That was my plateau and I accept it. You don't see me complaining that I can't get model-looking 9/10 girls to commit to me, let alone acknowledge my existence. It's off-limit for me and always will be.

@That Guy also mentioned this the other day: don't be the MGTOW type who bashes women all day long for wanting a man on her level and is surprised that they don't find his NW4, his gut and his semi-neet lifestyle attractive.

"Women who want the best they can have... and get it! Hypergamous b****s!"

Hang in there @David_MPN . Put in the work and you'll get what you deserve .

Approaching Zircon level writing

 

[SmoothSailing]

Match with a 6 on tinder, meet up for drinks, pay for drinks, dance, kiss, run out of money (no card only enough for hotel), as soon as she realizes I'm not buying more drinks she says "go home" (she had little english) and goes off with another guy.


She seemed genuinely so nice, apparently this is common here. I'm done paying for anything for women. Done, never again, I've never felt like such a loser. I actually cried when I checked into the hotel, alone.

What sort of grown man cries over a failed tinder date? I do. Because average just doesn't cut it. I either go for fatties or give up, I'm sick of being treated like sh*t by women who have nothing to offer but their pussy.

I wish there was a pill that could completely kill my desire for women. Forget my libido, I like wanking, I just hate how much I care about getting chicas.

f*** my pathetic existence. If I go NW3+ I will move to Iceland and become an alcoholic.

 

[hairblues]

Match with a 6 on tinder, meet up for drinks, pay for drinks, dance, kiss, run out of money (no card only enough for hotel), as soon as she realizes I'm not buying more drinks she says "go home" (she had little english) and goes off with another guy.


She seemed genuinely so nice, apparently this is common here. I'm done paying for anything for women. Done, never again, I've never felt like such a loser. I actually cried when I checked into the hotel, alone.

What sort of grown man cries over a failed tinder date? I do. Because average just doesn't cut it. I either go for fatties or give up, I'm sick of being treated like sh*t by women who have nothing to offer but their pussy.

I wish there was a pill that could completely kill my desire for women. Forget my libido, I like wanking, I just hate how much I care about getting chicas.

f*** my pathetic existence. If I go NW3+ I will move to Iceland and become an alcoholic.

I am so sorry this happened to you.

 

[g.i joey]

Match with a 6 on tinder, meet up for drinks, pay for drinks, dance, kiss, run out of money (no card only enough for hotel), as soon as she realizes I'm not buying more drinks she says "go home" (she had little english) and goes off with another guy.


She seemed genuinely so nice, apparently this is common here. I'm done paying for anything for women. Done, never again, I've never felt like such a loser. I actually cried when I checked into the hotel, alone.

What sort of grown man cries over a failed tinder date? I do. Because average just doesn't cut it. I either go for fatties or give up, I'm sick of being treated like sh*t by women who have nothing to offer but their pussy.

I wish there was a pill that could completely kill my desire for women. Forget my libido, I like wanking, I just hate how much I care about getting chicas.

f*** my pathetic existence. If I go NW3+ I will move to Iceland and become an alcoholic.

did she really go off with another random guy? Or is that what you expected?

You shouldnt have payed for every round of drinks imo, i always test girls when i bring them out, you should sometimes throw in, "next rounds on you" jokingly just to gauge their reactions, at least you would have wasted less time and money and probably would have been disgusted by her particular reaction, enough to where you probably wouldnt care if she rejected you. Alot of guys like to play the nice guy with these random blind tinder dates. They have enough nice guys repeatedly messaging them, sometimes its good to be a little bit of a hard *** from my experiences, more jokingly than rather serious.

How did your convo go before meeting? was it clear you were buying her drinks all night?

 

[SmoothSailing]

I am so sorry this happened to you.

It's horrible, never thought I'd miss Irish girls, but despite how much skinnier they are here, no girl would do that in Ireland, she would be shamed by everybody. Here it seems that the blame is on me.

As they say here es típico.

I have had many matches and many replies on tinder here, but now I'm done, f*** it, either I happen to find a nice girl or I continue jerking myself.

From today I will spend no money on a girl. Ever.

 

[Afro_Vacancy]

Match with a 6 on tinder, meet up for drinks, pay for drinks, dance, kiss, run out of money (no card only enough for hotel), as soon as she realizes I'm not buying more drinks she says "go home" (she had little english) and goes off with another guy.


She seemed genuinely so nice, apparently this is common here. I'm done paying for anything for women. Done, never again, I've never felt like such a loser. I actually cried when I checked into the hotel, alone.

What sort of grown man cries over a failed tinder date? I do. Because average just doesn't cut it. I either go for fatties or give up, I'm sick of being treated like sh*t by women who have nothing to offer but their pussy.

I wish there was a pill that could completely kill my desire for women. Forget my libido, I like wanking, I just hate how much I care about getting chicas.

f*** my pathetic existence. If I go NW3+ I will move to Iceland and become an alcoholic.

My condolences man, I know how you feel.

 

[SmoothSailing]

did she really go off with another random guy? Or is that what you expected?

You shouldnt have payed for every round of drinks imo, i always test girls when i bring them out, you should sometimes throw in, "next rounds on you" jokingly just to gauge their reactions, at least you would have wasted less time and money and probably would have been disgusted by her particular reaction, enough to where you probably wouldnt care if she rejected you. Alot of guys like to play the nice guy with these random blind tinder dates. They have enough nice guys repeatedly messaging them, sometimes its good to be a little bit of a hard *** from my experiences, more jokingly than rather serious.

How did your convo go before meeting? was it clear you were buying her drinks all night?

She knew the guy.

Normally I would not pay for drinks all night, but apparently here this is common, and drinks are cheap as f*** compared to Ireland, the euro gets 3,000 pesos.

But yes you are right, there is blame on me, but she really seemed so nice, shy even, taught me some dance moves, I think the language barrier got in the way of me realizing she was a typical sl*t.

 

[resu]

It's horrible, never thought I'd miss Irish girls, but despite how much skinnier they are here, no girl would do that in Ireland, she would be shamed by everybody. Here it seems that the blame is on me.

As they say here es típico.

I have had many matches and many replies on tinder here, but now I'm done, f*** it, either I happen to find a nice girl or I continue jerking myself.

From today I will spend no money on a girl. Ever.

Where are you currently at?

 

[SmoothSailing]

Where are you currently at?

A town an hour away from Bogotá in Colombia. Beautiful country, beautiful women (or should I say w****s ), having a great time until last night.

Although there is amazingly few balding guys. So many perfect NW1's. Temple recession is extremely rare. But average male height is 5'7, finally I get a taste of what it's like to be tall. It gives me such confidence to stand in a bar and be one of the tallest guys. So many guys here with sexy chicas who would be considered manlets in Ireland.

 

[resu]

A town an hour away from Bogotá in Colombia. Beautiful country, beautiful women (or should I say w****s ), having a great time until last night.

Although there is amazingly few balding guys. So many perfect NW1's. Temple recession is extremely rare. But average male height is 5'7, finally I get a taste of what it's like to be tall. It gives me such confidence to stand in a bar and be one of the tallest guys. So many guys here with sexy chicas who would be considered manlets in Ireland.

Colombian women have the phattest butts, hope you're enjoying your stay over there despite all, it would be very hard to give up on women over there! Also the lush straight black hair and Amerindian eyes are very attractive, if you notice their hair isn't very shinny, it's quite thick and matte.

 

[hairblues]

Damn, women have rejected me and disappointed me, to the point that I felt like crying, but something like this...

I remember crying after a girl threw me on the street after sex, I felt so lame, then a female friend reminded me that night: "Jesus, you pick up a girl in a bar and get to have sex, and you're still moaning?!"

I know how you must have felt, you just think you're not good enough, and that you never will be.

I've said it before, if I was average, 5'8 instead of 6'2, I would have just given up on women a long time ago.

You need to have something more than the average guy to get by these days, and that better be looks or height related.

You should go 50/50 with women in beginning at least.

I hate to say it but Latin America--this did not surprise me...i warned Baldhurts a few months back and other posters got pissed at me for saying it.

the only 'good' that can come is you can take the rose colored glasses off Euro and North Americna men who think women are going to be different in these different regions and it is not about $$ they think you guys may have.

oops quoted wrong person meant @SmoothSailing

 

[SmoothSailing]

Damn, women have rejected me and disappointed me, to the point that I felt like crying, but something like this...

I remember crying after a girl threw me on the street after sex, I felt so lame, then a female friend reminded me that night: "Jesus, you pick up a girl in a bar and get to have sex, and you're still moaning?!"

I know how you must have felt, you just think you're not good enough, and that you never will be.

I've said it before, if I was average, 5'8 instead of 6'2, I would have just given up on women a long time ago.

You need to have something more than the average guy to get by these days, and that better be looks or height related.

Amazing the difference a few inches can make. I have a few shorter mates that do well but they are all above average facially.

I think you're right, you need something more on top of being average nowadays. If I get a skinny girl she will always be settling. She will have all the cards, I will be the "lucky" one.

I hate online dating, I really think that it has magnified all these problems. Any skinny girl is a swipe away from an above average guy.

f*** my life.

 

[resu]

Damn, women have rejected me and disappointed me, to the point that I felt like crying, but something like this...

I remember crying after a girl threw me on the street after sex, I felt so lame, then a female friend reminded me that night: "Jesus, you pick up a girl in a bar and get to have sex, and you're still moaning?!"

I know how you must have felt, you just think you're not good enough, and that you never will be.

I've said it before, if I was average, 5'8 instead of 6'2, I would have just given up on women a long time ago.

You need to have something more than the average guy to get by these days, and that better be looks or height related.

Not only that you have to have no shame, you see an opportunity and you go for it, that's why it's very important to be ready for when the opportunity shows up.

 

[g.i joey]

Amazing the difference a few inches can make. I have a few shorter mates that do well but they are all above average facially.

I think you're right, you need something more on top of being average nowadays. If I get a skinny girl she will always be settling. She will have all the cards, I will be the "lucky" one.

I hate online dating, I really think that it has magnified all these problems. Any skinny girl is a swipe away from an above average guy.

f*** my life.

dont let this make you give up man, learn from it and move on. In the end her rejecting you doesnt mean sh*t, especially considering its over a payed drink, like she has any morals or self respect anyways. Hoes will be hoes, that'll never change, and if youre gonna let one skank ruin your future prospects that would be pretty sad man.

 

[resu]

Amazing the difference a few inches can make. I have a few shorter mates that do well but they are all above average facially.

I think you're right, you need something more on top of being average nowadays. If I get a skinny girl she will always be settling. She will have all the cards, I will be the "lucky" one.

I hate online dating, I really think that it has magnified all these problems. Any skinny girl is a swipe away from an above average guy.

f*** my life.

That's exactly it, the guy has to have the upper hand somehow or play your cards right, otherwise you're just someone that can be replaced with a better version of yourself.

 

[SmoothSailing]

dont let this make you give up man, learn from it and move on. In the end her rejecting you doesnt mean sh*t, especially considering its over a payed drink, like she has any morals or self respect anyways. Hoes will be hoes, that'll never change, and if youre gonna let one skank ruin your future prospects that would be pretty sad man.

Yeah probably a bit emotional at the moment, alcohol amplifies these feelings.

Hoes will be hoes, yes. But when nice, shy, girls are hoes it's worse. From now on, no matter how nice and genuine, she is paying or going thirsty.

 

[Xander94]

Match with a 6 on tinder, meet up for drinks, pay for drinks, dance, kiss, run out of money (no card only enough for hotel), as soon as she realizes I'm not buying more drinks she says "go home" (she had little english) and goes off with another guy.


She seemed genuinely so nice, apparently this is common here. I'm done paying for anything for women. Done, never again, I've never felt like such a loser. I actually cried when I checked into the hotel, alone.

What sort of grown man cries over a failed tinder date? I do. Because average just doesn't cut it. I either go for fatties or give up, I'm sick of being treated like sh*t by women who have nothing to offer but their pussy.

I wish there was a pill that could completely kill my desire for women. Forget my libido, I like wanking, I just hate how much I care about getting chicas.

f*** my pathetic existence. If I go NW3+ I will move to Iceland and become an alcoholic.

Im sorry brah thats some legit black pill right there.

 

[Rudiger]

Amazing the difference a few inches can make.

That's what SHE said. After many free drinks, meals, a few holidays, months of dating and a secure future assured for her.

Just a black pilled take on that joke.