I've always been a shy person, ever since I was a kid. It's always been difficult for me to put my self out there and make friends. I've basically felt alone my whole life. When I turned 19 I decided that I was going to try and be more outgoing, more social, and start living my life more positively. But, that was not to be. A couple months after I turned 19 something started happening, my hair was noticeably thinner. I didn't notice it at first, somebody else informed me of this. It felt like that my hairline was all that people were looking at. Everytime anyone said anything about it I would feel like dying inside. Being embarrassed everytime I look in the mirror, going on 4 years now. I'm almost 23, it's so bad now that I can almost count the hairs on the top of my head. I've become reclusive. I've become ugly on the outside to match my inside. This recession has decayed my life, my personality, my attitude, my perception, all relationships, and my soul. The lack of love and physical touch is getting to me as well. I'm too afraid to even try to talk to a woman. I wear a hat everyday and I hate it but I wouldn't be caught dead without it. I don't let my family look at me, like I'm going to let some stranger look at me like they do? I think of the mean things that people have said to me; "you look like an old man", "you're going bald!? what are you sick!?", "baldy, baldy, baldy!", and all those other demeaning things that people say and think to themselves. I've tried to kill myself twice but I think one was for a woman, they make you crazy you know, and the other was because I hate my life. I'm not better now but I'm not worse. I think everyone I know says bad things about me behind my back. I'm paranoid about it, I think about it so much that sometimes I just want to die. I know that it could be so much worse, I know it can and I'm lucky to be as fortunate as I am. Even knowing that, selfpity is a b**ch and pride only hurts. Why are there so many hair-loss commercials? Everytime I watch one and someone says something it hurts, they all look at me. Do I look at your fatass everytime I see a McDonald's commercial? No, because I still have manners, my life just sucks. I called Bosley and set up an a concultation knowing I'm not even close to being able to afford it. I just wanted to hear it all from the experts but mostly I wanted to know how much the operations are, duh. It would run me about $10,000. The woman was really nice and made me feel good. I know that's part of her job description but you can tell when someone is being genuine. I can't afford it now anyway, I'm currently unemployed. I quit my last job as a worker at a magnesium foundry. Sadly enough, I quit because of my own insecurities. This guy took of my hat and said "what the f*** kind of haircut is that? why are you going bald at 22? I bet the girls all laugh at you". The girls would laugh too but I don't even get close to them. I pray to God, I ask him to regrow my hair, it's all that I want. It's dumb to think that God would help me when there are millions of more important things but not to me. It rules my life. I'm surrounded with people with a full head of beautiful hair, I can't stop staring, I look at everybody and I want what they have. I would settle for a fricken mullet, seriously. Is there anybody out there that is compassionate and generous enough to help me? I believe that people are basically decent and want to help others. It's a good feeling, I know. You would be saving a life by helping me pay for a hair-restoration procedure. I just want to be happy and I honestly believe that some self-confidence wouldn't hurt me any. Thank you for reading my article. I could have made this 10,000 words and I will if enough people were interested. God Bless.
I hope nobody feels offended that I am asking for donations. I realize that all of us would like some financial help. If we all work together we could do this for everybody that needs it. Thank you everybody for everything. Contact me at swizz216@hotmail.com
I hope nobody feels offended that I am asking for donations. I realize that all of us would like some financial help. If we all work together we could do this for everybody that needs it. Thank you everybody for everything. Contact me at swizz216@hotmail.com
