Hey guys, just need to vent a little bit here.
I am a 23 year old student with NW3 and significant thinning. It's gotten to the point where all the hair on the top of my head is thin and crispy (and lighter than on the sides and back, which makes it even more obvious), so for the last 7 months I have been buzzing it down. I thought that I was slowly moving towards acceptance, but now I've had a setback. A major one. It's funny how things can turn around on you in just a matter of weeks, huh?
In junior high I was a very popular guy. I was good at sports, popular with the girls and guys, and loved life. But as I was getting older I started developing social anxiety, decreasing confidence, depression and, for the last 4-5 years, male pattern baldness, which is just the icing on the cake.
My life hasn't exactly turned out the way I hoped it would. I don't feel like I have any talents anymore (gave up sports a long time ago), I'm studying something that I don't really care about (in lack of a better option), most of my friends don't really call me anymore or want to hang out (which I admit I'm somewhat to blame for), my best friend whom I've known since we were like 5 now wants to move out and in with another friend of mine (which is not only embarrassing for me, but a pretty f*****g a**h** thing to do), and most of the time I don't feel attractive at all. I feel that people are looking at me like I'm a freak, and that they're ridiculing me behind my back. I have very juvenile looks, and a bald head (or the state that I'm in now) definitely doesn't suit me. With hair, I'm fairly attractive. Without it, I look silly. I don't feel respected anymore because of it, I feel pitied. I feel like people are thinking "aww, he used to look good when he was younger, how sad", and it makes me extremely bitter.
My family know that I've been struggling lately, but I don't think they know how serious it has become. This is supposed to be the best years of my life, and somehow it has become the opposite. I mean, I'm 23 and I've never really even had a girlfriend. It's f*****g sad. I look back at my life (already) and I keep thinking that I've blown it. I've blown my chance at doing the things that I want to do in life. It might be a silly thought, but that's how I feel. I don't really want to do anything, I'm nervous every time I walk out the front door fearing that people will judge me and laugh at me, and I just want my life to end. I don't have the looks nor the personality that I once had or wish I had, and I truly despise who I have become, both physically and mentally. I feel that everything I am is the exact opposite of what I want to be, and what I've always thought I would be. The only thing keeping me alive is my family, whom I love very much. I mean, what's the point of living when you're not happy anyway? I certainly can't see it.
The thing that really f*****g tops it off for me is the fact that some people are just so god damn insensitive when it comes to baldness. I've had quite a few extremely offensive comments thrown my way ("have you gotten cancer?" - who says something like that?), and if it's not that it's people poking fun at my hair in a more harmless way, which I try to laugh off as best as I can. But why is it socially acceptable to ridicule balding/bald men but not women with flat chests or a little extra weight? Would these same people say to a woman that she's gotten a few wrinkles lately? Exactly. f*****g pisses me off.
I don't have the economy nor the guts to take Propecia or anything else, and frankly I really don't even see the point. My hair loss has gotten to the point where I feel that it's no use, I'd be stuck with a buzz cut anyway. It's either a cure or complete baldness for me.
I know that my post is really negative and pessimistic, but I just needed to get it off my chest. I'm gonna try to end this on a more positive note. I'm not going to commit suicide or anything, you don't have to worry about that, it's just the way that I feel at the moment. I both hope and believe that things will get better for me, because they certainly can't get much worse.
Thanks for reading. I love you all, my balding brothers, I really do, and I wish you all the best.
I am a 23 year old student with NW3 and significant thinning. It's gotten to the point where all the hair on the top of my head is thin and crispy (and lighter than on the sides and back, which makes it even more obvious), so for the last 7 months I have been buzzing it down. I thought that I was slowly moving towards acceptance, but now I've had a setback. A major one. It's funny how things can turn around on you in just a matter of weeks, huh?
In junior high I was a very popular guy. I was good at sports, popular with the girls and guys, and loved life. But as I was getting older I started developing social anxiety, decreasing confidence, depression and, for the last 4-5 years, male pattern baldness, which is just the icing on the cake.
My life hasn't exactly turned out the way I hoped it would. I don't feel like I have any talents anymore (gave up sports a long time ago), I'm studying something that I don't really care about (in lack of a better option), most of my friends don't really call me anymore or want to hang out (which I admit I'm somewhat to blame for), my best friend whom I've known since we were like 5 now wants to move out and in with another friend of mine (which is not only embarrassing for me, but a pretty f*****g a**h** thing to do), and most of the time I don't feel attractive at all. I feel that people are looking at me like I'm a freak, and that they're ridiculing me behind my back. I have very juvenile looks, and a bald head (or the state that I'm in now) definitely doesn't suit me. With hair, I'm fairly attractive. Without it, I look silly. I don't feel respected anymore because of it, I feel pitied. I feel like people are thinking "aww, he used to look good when he was younger, how sad", and it makes me extremely bitter.
My family know that I've been struggling lately, but I don't think they know how serious it has become. This is supposed to be the best years of my life, and somehow it has become the opposite. I mean, I'm 23 and I've never really even had a girlfriend. It's f*****g sad. I look back at my life (already) and I keep thinking that I've blown it. I've blown my chance at doing the things that I want to do in life. It might be a silly thought, but that's how I feel. I don't really want to do anything, I'm nervous every time I walk out the front door fearing that people will judge me and laugh at me, and I just want my life to end. I don't have the looks nor the personality that I once had or wish I had, and I truly despise who I have become, both physically and mentally. I feel that everything I am is the exact opposite of what I want to be, and what I've always thought I would be. The only thing keeping me alive is my family, whom I love very much. I mean, what's the point of living when you're not happy anyway? I certainly can't see it.
The thing that really f*****g tops it off for me is the fact that some people are just so god damn insensitive when it comes to baldness. I've had quite a few extremely offensive comments thrown my way ("have you gotten cancer?" - who says something like that?), and if it's not that it's people poking fun at my hair in a more harmless way, which I try to laugh off as best as I can. But why is it socially acceptable to ridicule balding/bald men but not women with flat chests or a little extra weight? Would these same people say to a woman that she's gotten a few wrinkles lately? Exactly. f*****g pisses me off.
I don't have the economy nor the guts to take Propecia or anything else, and frankly I really don't even see the point. My hair loss has gotten to the point where I feel that it's no use, I'd be stuck with a buzz cut anyway. It's either a cure or complete baldness for me.
I know that my post is really negative and pessimistic, but I just needed to get it off my chest. I'm gonna try to end this on a more positive note. I'm not going to commit suicide or anything, you don't have to worry about that, it's just the way that I feel at the moment. I both hope and believe that things will get better for me, because they certainly can't get much worse.
Thanks for reading. I love you all, my balding brothers, I really do, and I wish you all the best.
