uncomfortable man said:
Seems kinda unfair that just because of this one naturally occurring trait that is written in our genes and beyond our control, we become targets for such prejudice. It's a real shame, but you have to recognize the situation for what it is instead of deflecting and diluting yourself that working on your game and confidence will somehow turn the tide for these women who have already made up their mind that baldness is disgusting. That's not to say that there are some women out there who will either tolerate it or genuinely not mind but they seem to be far and few between these days. It sucks, it really really does and I feel for anyone who is young and going through this.
It is unfair and it's one of those things that is getting worse all the time due to the media and so on. When i watch old tv i realise that the hot guys women lusted over often had receding hairlines, bald spots and some were even completely bald. Yeah big hair might have been 'in' but it wasn't uncommon to see the 'hot guys' on tv as balding or even as older. Now, it is completely different - almost any model you see must have a NW1 (maybe 2 maximum), the guys in film roles and tv roles that women are supposed to lust over are pretty much all the same...straight hairlines etc. 'Meterosexuals' or whatever BS words they use to describe it. Of course, we here know better than to think that it is always real - they where undetectable wigs, concealer have transplants etc...but this only creates huge social pressure on the young guys who is going through a natural sexual development process. Women are easily influenced by what society is supposed to find attractive...they are pretty dumb if you like in that sense - but they are also by their nature ten times as picky as to who or what type of person they will have sex with. This spells bad news for bald men. Real bad news. I recently went through a forum of younger women (18-25 average age) and searched for the word 'bald'...one thread in particular stood out - the poll question being 'is bald ugly'...every single answer said ''yes its a turn off'. No variation, every single f*****g one. Reading the replies alongside it sent me into serious depression and anger for days: "Going bald is a sin...men - keep you hair!", "I could never be turned on by a bald guy, i like hair too much...hair is sex!", "bald men are sooo ugly, would never give one a second glance" In another thread a guy posted a picture of a very good looking and famous athlete who has a shaved head (not even bald) asking if women found him hot. I was sure that some women would find him hot...absolutely shredded body, good looking face, hairline in tact even - but no, the best response was 'mehh he's ok, nice body but needs hair'.
Women see it as being lazy for shaving your head...not well groomed....dirty, unclean or lazy if you're going bald. "Just go buy some rogaine and take care of it...I want a guy who takes care of himself they'll say".
I genuinely believe that this pressure on a young guy is as bad and actually even worse than the issues which most commonly cause eating disorders in women. But balding guys feel helpless. The options are not good, the medications potentially dangerous - we're being asked to risk our ability to ever get an erection again for the ability to feel like we actually have some appeal to women. I know myself that it amongst other pressures in my life has driven me very close to suicide at times. People might say to me 'oh but your hair loss isn't too bad', but the pain is always there...the panic of how receded it will look in the morning, the question of will I be NW6 like my dad was by the time he was 31-32. He never thought about it too much...but the pressures were different in his day and frankly women weren't quite so damn superficial as to see a balding man as a bit of a sacrifice as long as he is a nice guy. I am what friends who know me would describe as 'a nice guy', always have been - but I also know for a fact that I have a significant amount of testosterone running through my veins (not great for the hair i can tell you)- the mere thought of a woman i'm with 'just settling' for my appearance rather than being genuinely more attractive than the next guy who happens to have 'nice' hair sends me into competitive, jealous, almost aggressive turmoil. That is the feeling that makes me hate a woman.
I don't say any of this as some vain wimp...I never gave a sh*t about my appearance previously preferring instead just to be athletic, fit and strong purely because that was how i wanted to feel. I shaved my head for over a year when I realised it was receding a bit - only to eventually become depressed with the constant comments from women close to me about how i should grow it back because 'all men look better with hair' and some comments far more direct blunt and sometimes just plain hurtful about how it looked on me in particular.
It is a curse but the only thing i can hold onto through this is that I know there is nothing physically wrong with me. Balding is the result of my male hormones, it is natural, a masculine trait. It is not a curse in itself - but the society we live in is pathetic, misguided, shallow and ugly, and the vast majority of women who are so easily influenced are just as much so. I'm not ignorant. i won't deflect the obvious. Sometimes I will question you UCman because I recognise depressive assumptions which are often incorrect (particularly because I do it myself), but I will not deny there is a problem with how society views baldness and I wish that guys would get together and make a bit of a stand against it actually very much in the same way that womens rights groups do to stop size zero being the only thing on the catwalk. We here have probably all seen the stories online of guys who have committed suicide but had their problems go unheard for fear of being judged. Unfortunately the difficulty here is I don't think that men will ever get together and take this sort of stand for fear being laughed at for doing so - because society would judge it as just SO unmasculine to do wouldnt it!? "wtf just get on with it you girl" :jackit:
Yeah it cuts me up going bald, yeah I look 'better' with hair - we are all influenced to an extent to what is the 'right' look, not even i can escape that - but if anybody male or female decides to make a point of me going bald I'll tell them straight up that the problem is them and not me. Any man thinks he's better than me because he's not losing hair - I'll tell him straight that he aint. Any woman rejects me for it...that is their issue and in many ways (sexual included without doubt) their loss.
It is f*cking hard. Guess you just gotta roll with the punches and be stronger at the end of it knowing many of these guys haven't got a clue with dealing with genuine adversity over their appearance. Those guys will have body changes, those women will freak out about losing their youth and fertility and their boyfriends and husbands will go bald, gain weight etc. Us younger guys went through that pain...hopefully we can come out of it better people. Until then though, I hope I find a woman that I can have genuine love and respect for who isn't so narrow minded.
Rant over.
ha... just talk with people... be nice, youll get rejected like crazy, but you also get rejected like crazy on a dating sites, only difference is in virtuall sites you pay good money for sh*t girls, while in real life its free and you get the normal ones (and what you see is what you get right off the bat)....
