Life in transition. Marriage is going down the tubes.

[Evian]

You got me wrong. We were friends for over a year. After numerous attempts to correct what is going wrong with my marriage I started to consider other women. I had desires for her from day one but I never acted on them because I was married. The moment you know that you need to move on, things change. You start to consider your friends (girlfriends) as potential marital partners. Who better to marry than a friend?

 

[WorldofWarcraft]

You got me wrong. We were friends for over a year. After numerous attempts to correct what is going wrong with my marriage I started to consider other women. I had desires for her from day one but I never acted on them because I was married. The moment you know that you need to move on, things change. You start to consider your friends (girlfriends) as potential marital partners. Who better to marry than a friend?

If you are having that much trouble in the dating world, I would stay married.

 

[hairwegoagain]

After numerous attempts to correct what is going wrong with my marriage I started to consider other women.

Well, that changes my feelings about your predicament. If you've made the decision to pursue other women then you need to step up, be a man, and end things properly with your wife. Looking for something "on the side" before exiting your existing relationship (a marriage no less) is pretty damn repugnant. F the hair for the time being and fix your personal life.

 

[Guest]

After numerous attempts to correct what is going wrong with my marriage I started to consider other women.

Well, that changes my feelings about your predicament. If you've made the decision to pursue other women then you need to step up, be a man, and end things properly with your wife. Looking for something "on the side" before exiting your existing relationship (a marriage no less) is pretty damn repugnant. F the hair for the time being and fix your personal life.

I don't think he ever mentioned on the side. He mentioned looking for replacements for his wife basically, not complements.

 

[Cassin]

Sounds like your life and hers has become a bit static.

You need to shake things up!

 

[ginald]

You got me wrong. We were friends for over a year. After numerous attempts to correct what is going wrong with my marriage I started to consider other women. I had desires for her from day one but I never acted on them because I was married. The moment you know that you need to move on, things change. You start to consider your friends (girlfriends) as potential marital partners. Who better to marry than a friend?

but when you tried to date your asian lady friend she bombed you out.

no doubt you've also lost one friend there now.

anyway, the honest decent thing to do if you wish to date other women is to leave first... then decide who to date.

it takes guts.....too many people find a new partner first before they tell their old partner that they are leaving.

 

[s.a.f]

too many people find a new partner first before they tell their old partner that they are leaving.

Causing them 10x the pain.

 

[Evian]

I never asked anyone out. I wouldn't do that to my wife. When I find someone that feels for me the way I do I would then make the move to leave. I know this sounds stupid. Who in their right mind would want to date a guy who is still with his wife. Worst yet she might feel like she is responsible for me leaving my wife. You guys are right I need to grow a pair of balls and finally decide one way or the other. It is so hard to do! I have a lot to lose. I still love my wife but we have grown apart. She doesn't like to do anything that I like to do. I like to go on bike rides, and take trips on my motorcycle. She doesn't want to do that. She likes to watch TV when she comes home. Even in Summer it is hard to get her to do anything. I get so frustrated that I start to ask myself why in the hell am I still married. We have a house 200 feet away from the Fox River and across the street we have a hill that I love to climb. She refuses to walk anywhere and forget about climbing anything. Right now it is winter so she isn't getting on my nerves but when spring and summer rolls around I will be frustrated once again. I kind of feel like that bird that has been so long in a cage that when the cage is finally open it doesn't go that far from the cage. I wonder if that is what is happening to me. Prior to Winter I was so sure of what I want now I am not. I'll let you guys know what I finally decide.

 

[hairwegoagain]

There has to be more, because divorcing over someone not liking to climb hills, motorcycle, or ride bikes is rather extreme.

 

[Guest]

it takes guts.....too many people find a new partner first before they tell their old partner that they are leaving.

thats what my b**ch ex did to me. she denies it but the guy she told me she had feelings for before we broke up is the guy she dates 4 weeks afterward. im not an idiot. i agree that it's pathetic

 

[Guest]

There has to be more, because divorcing over someone not liking to climb hills, motorcycle, or ride bikes is rather extreme.

how about riding a bike in the rain with no hands and eating low sodium foods?

 

[hairwegoagain]

...only if you're supplementing with canned mackerel.

 

[IBM]

you should be happy for your wife leaving you. why bother with someone that dont love you. accept it you cause some source of nausea in your wife.

 

[Guest]

you should be happy for your wife leaving you. why bother with someone that dont love you. accept it you cause some source of nausea in your wife.

f*** you IBM. You should be the last one handed out advice b**ch.

 

[ginald]

it takes guts.....too many people find a new partner first before they tell their old partner that they are leaving.

thats what my b**** ex did to me. she denies it but the guy she told me she had feelings for before we broke up is the guy she dates 4 weeks afterward. im not an idiot. i agree that it's pathetic

sorry to hear that, jayman.

in my book, its one of the worst things one person can do to another.

the deceit, the lies, the duplicitous behaviour...ugh

 

[Guest]

it takes guts.....too many people find a new partner first before they tell their old partner that they are leaving.

thats what my b**** ex did to me. she denies it but the guy she told me she had feelings for before we broke up is the guy she dates 4 weeks afterward. im not an idiot. i agree that it's pathetic

sorry to hear that, jayman.

in my book, its one of the worst things one person can do to another.

the deceit, the lies, the duplicitous behaviour...ugh

it would have made it easier had she just admitted it but the last time we talked, she admitted nothing and said that it just happened and that it wasn't planned. b**ch was a compulsive liar.

all i know is this. there are women who want to date me right now. some of them can't understand why i'm not ready for that and i tell them that i don't trust any of them and that it's nothing personal, but that it will take time.

 

[klink]

Ev:

-Got kids?
-Christian?
-How long married?

I went to a marriage seminar held by http://www.garychapman.org/ at Moody last year, it was very interesting. While I'm only a few years into my second marriage, both of us are Christians and are committed to our marriage.

As Doctor Chapman put it, we are always liable to get the 'tingles' around other people. He sees suchs things as testing our relationships and our faith.

My first marriage ended poorly, and I would say based on my personal experience, you need to avoid the tingles and look at what is going on inside you and inside her. Is she going through depression, or other issues? Are you? Is she being served by being with you? What do you do that she likes to do? Do you listen to her? Flirting with coworker is succumbing to the tingles and is the wrong way to go.

You know our relationships will always go through some bumpier points, and it's not easy to get through them. But we should get through them, because you can end up being in the same place 10 years from now with somebody else. In the end, you may never have figured out how to get through tough times and none of your relationships will endure.

Sounds like your marriage needs a tuneup.

 

[ImKaratekid]

he is probably dead by now, like all the other posters in this thread. so who are you talking to??

 

[Diffused_confidence]

Another marriage killed by baldness. It's the never ending curse.

 

[fauxhawk]

Its pretty f*****g scary though because I find MYSELF worrying about losing hair in a simple even short term relationship, imagine what it is like a marriage? I would be lying if I say that thoughts of being dumped cuz of some regression didnt come to my mind...

But well thats why im taking action as much as i can!

That guy made his bed an didn't want to sleep in it, sounds like he cares more over his outer image then his marriage tbh. Already considering other women at that point. Without a doubt it sounds like he neglected his wife romantically(probably) an then wondered why things were not the same anymore.