It's Not Vanity - Going Bald Can Destroy A Man's Life

N003

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One of the best article I have read so far!!!

It's not vanity - going bald can destroy a man's life

While everyone was poring over the details of Donald Trump’s medical examination, one insight into the President’s life was largely overlooked: Mr Trump is going bald.

Sure, this might be obvious from his unusual coiffure which is clearly intended to cover up a thinning thatch, but the President’s medical report showed that he is taking an anti-hairloss drug, finasteride.

Despite presenting himself as so cocksure and confident, deep down Mr Trump is clearly very unhappy about his appearance.

Finasteride has been around for about 20 years, yet it is far from being a magic pill. It only causes re-growth of hair in a small number of people (in most, it simply slows the rate of loss), with 30 per cent improvement in hair loss over six months.


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Going bald is bound up with a loss of virility and masculinity in a way that the menopause is often linked to a loss of femininity for women

Furthermore, the positive effects on your hair only last as long as you take it, and the potential side-effects can include impotence and breast growth.


It’s wildly popular, though. At least four of my friends are taking it — and that’s just those who have confided in me. I suspect there are many more, but they feel unable to discuss it because hair loss is such a sensitive issue for so many men.

In fact, I think society fails to grasp quite the level of distress hair loss can cause men. Those who try to do something are mocked for being vain, while those who are balding are ridiculed for being old and unattractive.

Going bald is bound up with a loss of virility and masculinity in a way that the menopause is often linked to a loss of femininity for women. For many young men who find they’re thinning on top, the image of the fat, bald man strikes horror.

But there’s more to it than simply being laughed at.

Hair loss can result in a variety of psychological and emotional problems associated with how we perceive ourselves and how we think others view us. There is a sense of powerlessness and impotence, and a feeling of our bodies being out of control.

I have seen many men who have become clinically depressed as a result of starting to lose their hair, and several have tried to kill themselves because it made them so low and desperate. Yet still we struggle to appreciate the impact it can have on a man’s life. For while women will openly talk about the menopause, and support each other, men are notorious for bottling up their feelings — so they remain hidden and unacknowledged.

Just this week I went for a drink with friend who is a builder. He earns a modest amount but was telling me how he had been doing extra shifts to save money.

‘What for?’ I asked, assuming it was something like a deposit for a flat. ‘For a hair transplant,’ he said.

I was amazed. I’ve known him years and I don’t think he’s ever spoken to me about his appearance before. Sure, he’s thinning on top but it never occurred to me that he was worried about it — and certainly not worried enough to be saving £15,000 for surgery.

‘I think about it constantly,’ he told me when I expressed surprise. ‘I hate it — and on bad days when it’s really on my mind, I don’t want to go out in public.’

This admission was clearly a huge step for him, and I suspect he only told me because he knows I work in mental health. When I suggested he talk to his girlfriend about it, he shook his head. ‘I’d die of embarrassment,’ he said.

Of course many men are able to embrace their thinning hair and, as Prince William did this week, opt for a closely shaved look.

Even then, there is a whole emerging market for men who don’t want to appear to be going bald despite shaving their head — and some opt to have the stubble tattooed onto their heads. This can look very good. Another friend had this done a few years ago and his wife, whom he met later, still doesn’t know that his ‘stubble’ is in fact a clever tattoo.

But even this goes to underline how all this is going on in the shadows. Men don’t feel able to talk about it because they think it makes them seem unmanly.

But the distress they experience is real, and I think many would benefit from psychotherapy to help them come to terms with this natural process.

No intervention — surgical or pharmacological — offers a total solution to hair loss, whereas psychotherapy can liberate men to embrace what’s happening rather than trying to fight it.

It’s perhaps easier to change what’s happening inside your head than what’s happening on top of it.


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-5290973/DR-MAX-MIND-DOCTOR-Baldness-destroy-mans-life.html

 

JohnsonDDG

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Posting the comments to the post:

-Men look great with or without hair and to all those men out there who are balding, you'll be loved regardless!

-If you're going bald stop acting like a little bihh and shave it, I do. Jason Statham, the Rock, Vincent Diesel, Bruce Willis, even Prince William etc all look perfectly fine!

-Some men never go bald, they die young. Count your blessings

-3 things doom a man, being short, being fat, being bald. However you can get away with 2 out of the 3 mentioned, but 3 out of 3 and you are doomed!!!!!!!!
 

IdealForehead

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I have told friends and family about the experimental stuff I've done with my hair - men or women. I really don't give a f*** about that. If it goes well, I will quite readily show anyone who compliments my hair up close the incision line from my forehead reduction once it's done (if it's visible under close inspection) and explain to them how I had to wear a balloon in my head for months beforehand.

I don't know why people should be "afraid to talk about it".

What's the big secret?

Really, as was posted in the other thread, this is just about not enjoying being ugly. Most guys are average or okay looking to start, and hair loss makes them ugly. No one enjoys being ugly however or whenever it happens.
 

Saurabhaj

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Compromises have saved lives,made lives of people around the world.

Never let baldness to affect your career and other aspect of life.
Make efforts to make it decent.

Baldness can only destroy persons's attraction..
Do a compromise and adapt to it.


Feeling sad about what you have lost can destroy happiness.
 

Giiizmo

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More awareness is good. The take-away message, however, is sickening.

So male baldness is a real problem that affects a sizable portion of the population. What's the solution to men's woes then? Better cosmetic options? Increasing research to find a treatment? Ending discrimination towards baldness?

Nope.

Go see a shrink, guys. He'll help you to "come to terms with this natural process". BAHAHAHAHA!
 

InBeforeTheCure

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More awareness is good. The take-away message, however, is sickening.

So male baldness is a real problem that affects a sizable portion of the population. What's the solution to men's woes then? Better cosmetic options? Increasing research to find a treatment? Ending discrimination towards baldness?

Nope.

Go see a shrink, guys. He'll help you to "come to terms with this natural process". BAHAHAHAHA!

Tooth decay? Don't go the dentist. Go see a shrink. He'll help you come to terms with this natural process.
 

blackg

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More awareness is good. The take-away message, however, is sickening.

So male baldness is a real problem that affects a sizable portion of the population. What's the solution to men's woes then? Better cosmetic options? Increasing research to find a treatment? Ending discrimination towards baldness?

Nope.

Go see a shrink, guys. He'll help you to "come to terms with this natural process". BAHAHAHAHA!
Yeah, the take-away from this article was rather deflating.
 

N003

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For some of us its more than some vauge representation of a body decaying. For some of us who lack the masculine traits, who have a weak jaw and cant grow a beard its a death scentence. Its a lowering of the odds of finding love and building a family

Maybe the bald head is also a sign of nature, of evolution, so that you don't give birth to children or offspring.

Baldness is a sign of bad genes.

Here too, evolution and nature have done a great job.
 

N003

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Maybe it is also completely different when you are born with a bald head, then you only know it that way and you accept it quite normally.

It becomes brutal when you have hair and see step by step how it becomes less on your head.

Like the gentleman said above: It's your identity that is falling apart piece by piece.

Of course, there is a huge difference whether you are young or losing your hair in the best years of life, or only with 60,70,80 years.

From 60 upwards, I honestly don't care if i'm bald:

I would have had my best time in my youth or the best years.
 

N003

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Sure having hair will matter less than in your youth, but make no mistake, it will still matter a lot.

I spoke with a 50 year old patient at De Reys' clinic, he too thought that it would go away at a point, but it never does.

My father is now 55 years old and he still won't let go of his hair piece.

My grandfather once asked me if whitening his teeth would be an easy process.

You never stop caring about your appearance, you never stop wanting to look your best.

But it's a big difference if you are young with this illness or a older or old man.

With 50,60,70 you can be happy if you don't have any illness..
 

N003

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I do agree with N003, going bald later is much much easier. Sure some of us inside might never stop caring and be in pain, but at that stage no one is truly looking at you since you're old anyway. So objectively the value of hair is simply not there. Unless someone is in a high status position like Trump. As my ex said, even if you have a full head at 60, they'll just be like yes good hair but you've visibly aged.

Absolute true ;) Old is old, with hair or no hair....you are OLD...

A good example:

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