Is 26 too old to date an 18 year old (19 next week)?

[souldoctor]

Well that's my question....just asking if there is much point entertaining the idea of taking things further with this girl I met a few weeks back in a club?? The problem is she's 18 and a fresher/freshman at uni, whereas i'm a 2nd yr doctor (resident i guess u'd call it in USA)! I just happen to look extremely young for my age (I'm 26)..(partly cos propecia seems to be working on the whole..!) and got chatting to her, and she added me on facebook and then I realised she's 18, then gave me her number, and we've just been texting ever since. Thing is we're gonna meet up tomorrow, and my idea is to call the whole thing off on principle, i.e not even give it a chance. Is this wise?? I feel like I should just finish it otherwise if I allow it to continue and I actually end up liking her somehow then it's just gonna be stupid. Also I feel like I've probably led her on a bit by replying to her texts and generally being nice to her as I thought that would be better than just ignoring her and hurting her for no reason, even though I know she's interested cos she is very flirty in her texts.

What would you guys do, should i just be a man and leave her to her own fresher guys you think?? She's only 18 (well 19 next week), she's a kid really, I don't wanna hurt her feelings or use her and I want to go out with someone my own age probably and more mature. But if we do get on and I feel like I want to see her again am I being inappropriate and silly?

 

[Petchsky]

Errrr, i'm literally about to gobto bed, but saw this, and i'd say no....depends, if you enjoy talking to this girl, then age should not be something that holds you back. Sometimes people are older than their actual age implies, there is no definitive answer anyone here can give you, but i think it would be shame to knock something on the head before giving it a chance, what you got to lose?

 

[s.a.f]

Wait a week.

 

[Hammy070]

Well that's my question....just asking if there is much point entertaining the idea of taking things further with this girl I met a few weeks back in a club?? The problem is she's 18 and a fresher/freshman at uni, whereas i'm a 2nd yr doctor (resident i guess u'd call it in USA)! I just happen to look extremely young for my age (I'm 26)..(partly cos propecia seems to be working on the whole..!) and got chatting to her, and she added me on facebook and then I realised she's 18, then gave me her number, and we've just been texting ever since. Thing is we're gonna meet up tomorrow, and my idea is to call the whole thing off on principle, i.e not even give it a chance. Is this wise?? I feel like I should just finish it otherwise if I allow it to continue and I actually end up liking her somehow then it's just gonna be stupid. Also I feel like I've probably led her on a bit by replying to her texts and generally being nice to her as I thought that would be better than just ignoring her and hurting her for no reason, even though I know she's interested cos she is very flirty in her texts.

What would you guys do, should i just be a man and leave her to her own fresher guys you think?? She's only 18 (well 19 next week), she's a kid really, I don't wanna hurt her feelings or use her and I want to go out with someone my own age probably and more mature. But if we do get on and I feel like I want to see her again am I being inappropriate and silly?

:ididit:

But I'm 23.

 

[optimus prime]

Post one of her pictures from facebook. Then let us vote. That is the right way to decide this.

 

[souldoctor]

thanks guys hmm well i will prob still meet up with her tonight (even though it's freezing cold and i'd rather stay in and have a beer in front of tv/computer to be honest)...lol i don't know about posting a pic from facebook

I should add that I actually myself would just have no problem "dating" her if she was an unashamed sl*t just after a good time 'cos that way we would both know it was nothing serious, but the only reason why i'm hesitant is because she seems quite innocent and naive and i'm not really sure what's going on in her head..oh well i'll just see how it goes tonight then as a one off and if and when we wanna see each other again will have to think about the age thing properly i guess...

 

[ali777]

If you like her, then go for it...

 

[CCS]

26 is not too old. The main factors are:

Do you have much in common? Many 18 year olds feel invinsible and binge drink like there is no tomorrow. Many 26 year olds start to notice they've aged a bit, and some slow down to hang onto youth. Others don't. Depends on the two of you. Just look at your interests.

If the two of you just want sex, great. But people fall in love easy. Then you are emotionally attached to someone you are not compatible with. And if you get her pregnant, you are screwed.

Finally, at 26, you may still look young. Depending on your genetics and other factors, this may last. But be warned: if you start again a lot faster than her soon, it could break the two of you up later when she wants someone younger. Though you are in med school, so money should help. If your goal is to have the relationship last as long and happy as possible, try to pick someone more similar to yourself, in age, lifestyle, and other factors.

 

[Sean68]

if you like her and she likes you then...theres your answer. she'll probably want her freedom at some stage though but ..i dunno, if youve got good intentions then go for it. its all part of the masterplan.

 

[s.a.f]

Yeah just get on it, if it does'nt work out in the long run .... :dunno:

 

[CCS]

Yeah just get on it, if it does'nt work out in the long run .... :dunno:

Worse case you know next time and can advise us instead of asking advice.

 

[HughJass]

if she's a mature 19 year old and you are an immature 26 year old, then the age gap should cancel out and make everything OK

 

[hair_tomorrow]

Well that's my question.......

That's totally fine. Just don't fall in love. You're both too young to get serious.

Next question.

 

[casperz]

The rule says no:

age / 2 + 7

26 / 2 + 7 = 20 is the minimum age you can date.

But who cares about rules?

 

[CCS]

It is perfectly legal. The only thing that matters is your interests, what you want out of life right then.

If one of you wants kids now and the other is not ready: problem.
If one of you only likes rap and the other only likes country: problem.
If one of you is starting the drinking phase and the other has happily left it long ago: problem.
If you are not sure about any of this, date her and learn for yourself. Worse case cinario you get emotionally attached to someone who has nothing in common with you. If the two of you are evenly matched looks wise, this could end up in marriage. If not, you break up and one or both of you is hurt but gets much stronger from it.

I'm 28, and my dating bracket goes up to 50 or so as long as they are fit and have common interests. Not for marriage though, just year long interactions. Has not happened yet.

 

[monitoradiation]

I don't know man. Personally, I've committed a crime similar to that about 2 years back when I was 23... She was 18 and even then the age gap was too big. We decided it was best to not take it further, but I think it hurt us both in the long run. We still keep in touch but it's been a rocky friendship.

Up to you, though.

Edit: by crime I meant "crime". Yenno. Not REALLY a crime. I meant that as in the issue in question.

 

[CCS]

I dated two women, both 22, when I was 27. Not a big deal. Both did not want to advertise it to their friends though. Age was not the issue in our dating. One of them liked to hit on total studs even though babe she was not. The other was much more discrete, but got rid of me because I wanted to be physical and she did not.

 

[The Gardener]

Is 26 too old to date an 18 year old (19 next week)?

If there's grass on the field....

If you and her both get on well personally, then GO for it.

I have a personal story about this I'd like to share, perhaps in another post (i'm tired tonight), but in a nutshell, when I was about 28 or so, I turned down an intern at my office who was 20, and she was hot, hot, HOT. Well, there were some other factors involved.... namely her habit of dropping off little folded love notes at my desk in the middle of the work day with little hearts on them.. but in the end I regretted it. This girl was interning at a major corporation at age 20, and she was covering all of her own financial responsibilities, paid her own rent and keep, and was putting HERSELF through college (she came to LA from the midwest). I should have recognized a great girl, and an attractive one at that, and cared a little less about my own preoccupations with maintaining a "perfect snow white" reputation amongst the elders at the office.

I stayed friends with her, and a few years later she was dating someone else, and to honor their one year anniversary she surprised HIM by arranging for them to spend a week on Maui. This girl was just a gem, not because she paid for the vacation, but because she was so thoughtful and caring to want to surprise him with something nice. That, on top of her self-driven discipline to get a college degree while working full time.... and after her graduation, she ended up landing a great white collar human resources position at another high profile corporation here in LA. ugh, what was I thinking dismissing this girl by automatically thinking her to be an overly youthful lightweight!??

Big mistake on my part. I lost out on a really great young woman... self-motivated, caring, ambitious, beautiful. All because I wanted to protect my own image, and thought people would think I'm some sort of "Bill Clinton" like figure who dates the interns. I should have trusted my heart and convictions.

 

[ali777]

I have a personal story about this I'd like to share, perhaps in another post (i'm tired tonight), but in a nutshell, when I was about 28 or so, I turned down an intern at my office who was 20, and she was hot, hot, HOT.

Cute story . Obviously it's wrong to assume a relationship would work or not based on observations only. I have a few buddies in that situation (young, hard working, caring gfs), and from the outside I can see it's not working. The real obstacle is not the age difference but the personalities.

I've never been with someone much younger than me, almost all my girlfriends have been in the +/-2 years bracket. The last time I was with a teenager was when I was 21. If there is a karma, I believe I'm being punished for the way I treated a few of my girlfriends at the time. To my defense, did they really think I was going to commit myself at such a young age? That's what young people do :whistle: .

I have a bias against young people in general. When I was at Grad School (yes, I was at grad school), I used to tutor undergraduates and they were useless bunch of kids. I know I was one of them in the past but there is a huge difference between being 18 and 25. I suppose the bias I have is a bad side effect of tutoring. If I was to go out with a very young girl, I would end up treating her like a kid and it wouldn't work out. For example, one of my buddies was teaching his young gf how to drive, it just looked wrong from the outside. To me it looked like a school girl and a teacher relationship.

 

[follicle84]

Half your age plus seven is the moral social rule to work out what is socially acceptable for relationships. But i say your only as old as you feel and if you are both able to relate to each other on the same maturity level then you are good for each other. You know in your mind what is right. If she acts childish you no its wrong to be with her. If she acts grown up then there's no problem.