Impact

[ClayShaw]

It's impacted me in a very negative way.
I've changed my career path from going back to school for a master's degree to moving back to my hometown and getting a job that allows me to wear a hat and just get by.
I'm 27, never had a girlfriend. Never been in a relationship. Strangely, considered reasonable looking by women (I've had little flings with really hot girls). Now, I'm anticipating trading in my thoughts of a happy relationship with a woman for a solitary life with a couple of dogs.
Let me make clear that this does NOT need to happen for everyone. This has really impacted me negatively because for years, I struggled with really bad skin, and I have some scars to prove it. Now that I'm getting older and starting to grow out of the acne, I've grown into baldness. It's frustrating because when I first realized for sure (2 months of denial) that I was going bald, I went back to my folks house and went through family pictures. In my extended family (probably 20+ guys including my dad and my mom's dad and my dad's brothers and my mom's mom's brothers and my mom's dad's brothers) I'm the third one to go prematurely. My dad started losing in his 50's, his dad in his 60's, his brother has great hair, my mom's dad had great hair into his 90's, his brothers all had good hair, my mom's mom's brothers kept their hair well into their 40's... My maternal great grandfather and my mom's brother lost it early. Now I'm on that list. I guess because all of the male family members I ever saw had hair, I never, ever expected this, at least not before 40. Oh well. $hit happens. Shave it, adjust my life, and move on.

 

[cruz]

Know exactly how you feel mate - right down to the part about acne as well. It just feels like one thing after another for sure.

I've changed my career path from going back to school for a master's degree to moving back to my hometown and getting a job that allows me to wear a hat and just get by.

Why not just do the masters degree now and if afterwards you feel the same way, then fine. I think you'd regret it if after a few years you started to come to terms with it but would then have to get back into studying again.

I've seen a few guys on here say they had wasted their 20's basically living a solitary life and how they had regretted it deeply. This has been a wake-up call for me and should be to everyone really.

 

[DoctorHouse]

I would go back to school and get your master's degree. Who knows, when you go back to school you might meet some good looking intelligent girls who are educated enough to know your hair or your skin is not what defines you. I developed BDD at a very young age and it affected me in way similar to you. I struggle with it everyday and it has affected my social life but never my career. I knew in this life, a high paying job was necessary to survive in any type of economy. I knew I had to take care of myself before anyone else. Now I have a successful career that fortunately I have never let my BDD ruin. The only thing it has ruined is my drive for playing the game of life to hook a descent looking women. I am pretty much a loner and its not a happy life. I did have a dog but he died many years ago and I never got another one because it was a lot of work and responsibility. I can socially interact with anyone on a level you would never think I had any problems. But deep down I have my own problems of low self esteem and insecurities and even sometimes paranoia. I am one of those people that needs verbal reassurance that what I perceive bad about myself is just a distorted image. The more I here the reassurance, the better I feel. Its a tough thing to deal with but I am making progress. I stopped going to gym and just worked out at home when I my hair situation began. However, now I restyled my hair and I am getting in the best shape of my life and I am actually feeling good about myself again. I am going back to the gym too. Now I just need to find someone who will accept me and my flaws, as I am open to accept someon who has theirs as well. But at leas I have what it takes to attract one. A very financially successful and stable career and guy who pretty much has a full head of hair and is considered with above average looks. So all I can say is go back to school and get that degree and take care of the number one person, YOURSELF.

 

[HatPrisoner91]

Hi Clayshaw,

Sorry to hear about your troubles. What degree is your hairloss? (norwood scale)

And during these "flings", did any of the women see it and hw did they react to it?

 

[barcafan]

If i remember correctly, he's not even a NW2 yet, and hes like 30.

 

[ClayShaw]

Hi Clayshaw,

Sorry to hear about your troubles. What degree is your hairloss? (norwood scale)

And during these "flings", did any of the women see it and hw did they react to it?

No...
My hair loss is very low on the scale, certainly compared to what you have dealt with.
When I had the "flings", it was before I started losing hair. That was in college and right afterwards.

 

[ClayShaw]

If i remember correctly, he's not even a NW2 yet, and hes like 30.

Haha... Nah man. I wish. My hairline is going real fast, I'm a Norwood 3, and I'm 27.

 

[ClayShaw]

Thanks to the guys who read and responded to this, including Barcafan.

 

[ClayShaw]

I read in another impact post, this kid talking about hating all the bald guys he sees because they remind of what he's going to be. I don't feel that way at all. The most frustrating part for me is that my odds of going prematurely bald were so low... Now they're 100%, obviously, but genetically, I should have been ok. I read some guys on here, 20 years old, saying "my dad is bald, his dad was bald at 25, my mom's dad is an NW7...". With me it's totally the opposite. No one in my family went bald young. My dad is balding now, but he's 58. His dad went in his 60's. My mom's dad never lost anything, and he lived into his 90's. He had 6 brothers, they all had hair. My mom's mom had 2 brothers, one was an NW3 at 45-50, but the other was an NW2 at 70. my mom's maternal grandfather lost his later in life. All the male family members I saw had good hair. Growing up, my dad had somewhat thin hair, but it wasn't until after I graduated high school that he really lost any of it. So, for me it was completely unexpected. I mean, I guess I figured I might be (didn't know what Norwood was, and never thought about it, I mean this in a more general sense) an Norwood 3 at 60. Prematurely bald? Norwood 3/4 by 30? Total shock.