Re: I have no "game" with women. I need help guys
Don't feel alone, I don't have any "game" with the women either. However, I have had relationships all throughout life, even two very serious ones, and would consider myself to have and have had a successful love life.
It is not the courting of a girl that I am bad at, it is the "pickup". I just don't have that salesman-like "closing" instinct.
So, now, when I approach women, instead of trying to close a deal, I simply remind myself to just talk to them. Sometimes I have to change the subject a few times until I find something to talk about that we have in common. Once I find that, then the sailing gets smoother. I do not have a sales quota, instead, I try to keep the mindset that I am just trying to get to know her with absolutely NO intentions. Probably a good context for all of us to have when approaching a woman, anyways.
When for whatever reason the converstation breaks, I say my goodbyes and look to see if the woman shows any sign of hesitation or wanting to talk more. If we had something in common during our conversation upon which we appeared to be 'hitting it off", then I'll try to tie that in somehow with an invitation to lunch. For example, we may talk about outdoor activities we like, then I mention that I enjoy a good rollerblade along the beach. She says "that sounds like fun, I like rollerblading too".. at that point, I know right then and there what my closing line will be, and when the conversation finally comes to conclusion, I can say "I enjoy company when I rollerblade, if you have a free afternoon in the next week, why don't you join me?"
Lunch, and daytime activities are always good "lures" because they are safe and unpretentious, and don't have as much of an awkwardness as does a full evening date.
One other point.. women don't play their cards as early as men do. And, when women hesitate in playing cards, men often times go into psychosis mode over it. For example, there have been times that I went out on a date and thought I performed badly, or that the girl didn't like me. Then, she didn't call. Then, I finally gave in and called her again, and we went out on another date. This date went a little better.. I was enthralled with her, she seemed to tolerate me but didn't seem to click. Again, she calls to say thanks, but doesn't hint at anything more. So, I bring it up, this time I invite her to another date, and this one goes very well. She starts to let her guard down a bit, and at the end gets a little affectionate and kisses me. In my head, I thought that something in her life must have changed since the last date, perhaps she dumped someone else and is now seeing me as a Plan B?
Well, it turns out that my preconceived conclusions were all wrong! In later conversations, she tells me that she liked me the whole time, but she was testing me in a way so as to make sure that I was not just after her for a f***. She says she has to do this with all the guys she goes out with, because too many times she goes out on a first date, plays her cards, and ends up getting fucked and then left because the guy wasn't really into her.
Anyways, she ended up becoming my girlfriend, and we went out for years.
