Regardless if you were set up by a friend, met online, or met through a personal ad, blind dates can be exciting and unnerving at the same time.
What if she's ugly? What if she's crazy? What if she doesn't show up?
The best way to make a blind date a positive experience is to treat it like a job interview. You're the potential candidate, and she's making sure your qualifications fit the position. From picking the location to making conversation, here are some tips to get you ready for a blind date.
the preparation
First impressions are everything. This isn't the time for your favorite Metallica T-shirt. A nice button-down shirt, trendy jeans, or casual pants are perfect for a casual get-together. Dressing appropriately for the date will show her you care about yourself and cared enough to look good for her.
the location
Choose a crowded location
Make sure there are a lot of people. She'll feel at ease and you'll be able to exit quickly and easily if you need to.
Pick a neutral location
Choose a place where everyone doesn't know your name, but be somewhat familiar with it so you look like you know what you're talking about when ordering a drink.
Make the date for cocktails
If the date isn't going well, you won't have the obligation of sitting through an entire meal; you can make up an excuse after the first drink and leave.
Use separate vehicles
Meet up at the chosen location. She'll probably feel more comfortable driving in separate cars and you'll have your car handy whenever you want to leave.
the meeting
Give yourself a once-over in the mirror
Before you meet her, find a mirror to glance into to make sure you don't have a piece of spinach stuck in your teeth or a stain on your shirt.
Let her take the lead during introductions
She may shake your hand or move right in to give you a quick peck on the cheek. The ball is in her court.
Have good manners
Greet her in a friendly, open manner. And if you do meet at a restaurant, don't scarf down a plate of appetizers and three cocktails before she arrives.
Let her order first
You can suggest something if she's having a hard time deciding, but let her give the waiter her order first.
Don't order food right away
If the date is going badly, you won't be stuck with the food commitment. If things are going well, order something that you can share, like some nachos or a plate of assorted appetizers.
Pay the bill
Yes, she wants to be treated equally, but she may still have an old-fashioned side that believes the man should pay on the first date. So don't ask her for half; just cough up the cash.
Conversation & body language
Ask open-ended questions
Ask her about her interests, her job, where she's traveled, whatever it takes to keep the conversation flowing. Yes or no questions will only create uncomfortable silences and leave you frustrated.
Pay attention to what she says
Listen closely, be attentive... you're learning about her. Remember; this information will be pertinent if there are more dates.
Avoid touchy topics
Steer clear of subjects like religion or politics, and maintain a positive tone throughout the conversation. Even talking about past relationships can be taboo. Save it for a later date.
Watch what you say
Telling crude and inappropriate stories or jokes may make her uncomfortable and will make you look like a pig.
Be honest
There's nothing worse than finding out that someone was lying to you, even on the first date. She doesn't want to hear fabricated stories that make you seem more interesting. So what if you work in a paper factory rather than at NASA? She's going to find out the truth at some point, so you might as well be upfront.
Don't push yourself on her
Blind dates are touchy and need to be handled carefully. She has no idea what type of person you are. For all she knows, you could be a stalker. Don't touch her if you aren't sure whether it's appropriate. If you touch her too soon, she'll think you're creepy. Let her lead the physical contact.
Start making plans for the next date
If the date went well and you had fun, tell her. If you'd like to see her again, let her know.
Leave on a positive note
You don't need to make this a blind date marathon. Hanging out for a couple of hours is sufficient. That way, you'll both be left wanting more.
Be clear
Make sure there's no confusion, even if you are disinterested. Saying vague things like "I'll call you" or "Let's call each other" makes you sound insincere.
what if...
...She doesn't show up for the blind date?
Wait no more then 20 minutes and leave. Don't call her to find out why she's late; she should be calling you. If she's late for your first date, she's probably not worth sticking around for.
...The date is a flop?
Be upfront and tell her the date isn't working out. Don't tell her you'll call her when you know you won't. Thank her for coming, say goodbye and leave.
...She brings a friend along?
You are either being checked out or given the brush-off. Either way, go along with it and see what happens. If she's making conversation with her friend rather than with you, then she isn't worth the time. If her attention is completely on you, then call a friend to come and join you. He can take care of her girlfriend, while you enjoy your blind date.
have a backup plan
However, there is a warning attached to all this advice. Always have a plan B in place just in case the date is a disaster. For instance, get a friend to call you after the first half-hour. If the date sucks, you can leave, using your friend as an excuse. If it's going well, use some kind of code word to indicate that you won't be needing his services.
That being said, there are are some steps you can follow to help make your blind date a success.
end on a high note
Not every woman will have the same first-date expectations. Some may have more stringent guidelines than others. Sometimes other factors come into play, such as how long ago she had her last relationship and how it ended. For all you know, she may be getting back into the dating scene after a harsh breakup with a boyfriend of 10 years.
The important thing is to have fun. If there is chemistry, great. If there isn't, just let it go. There are more blind dates where this one came from.
