How to support a partner with hair loss?

[fall3n]

New here, looking for a bit of advice...

Basically, it's not me who's going bald, it's my partner. When I first met him, he had a head full of hair, but that was several years ago. Now that we're actually together, he does have a very obvious patch on the top of his head where he's going bald.

Today is the first time he indicated that it might bother him.

Honestly speaking, the fact that he's losing his hair at a young age doesn't bother me. I still find him attractive. I just don't know how to support him properly and find the right words to let him know that yes, I know the bald spot is there, that it's going to get worse, but that it doesn't affect how I see him. He was going bald when we first started going out. It's not as if it happened half way through our relationship or anything, and I've been 'tricked'.

I can only imagine that hair loss is a very sensitive issue, so I'm not sure how to bring it up in conversation. I've always wondered if it bothered him, and today he made a comment in passing which alerted me to the fact that it really does.

I just want to make it clear that I find the whole package great, and that I don't love him 'in spite of' anything.

I guess what I'm asking is, for all of you men losing your hair (especially those of you in your early 20s), what is it that you'd like your partners to do to support you? Would you like them to talk to you about it, or avoid making it a big deal and just not say anything?

 

[Itsonlyinmyhead]

Just do what your doing. Be supportive. If its really bothering him that much then suggest something like Propecia, minoxidil, Nizoral, Hair Transplants, Wigs. Each person has their own way of dealing with it.
Maybe he wants to go bald naturally

or you could suggest he goes the shaved look, below is a good positive forum, they will give you alot of sound advice.

http://www.slybaldguys.com/smf/index.php


In my opinion try to keep him away from Wigs, toupees and Hair Transplants

 

[roki]

if i was him i would rather if you wont bring it up
on the other hand if i was him i would bring it up myself ,in that case tell him you still find him attractive that's all
you said it bothers him try to makke him aware of this site somehow
but better not tell him about it in away that itll look like you think it needs to be fixed

 

[fall3n]

So you think it's best if I don't say anything unless he brings it up again?

In my opinion, he's long accepted that he's losing his hair and isn't the type to try and fight this with drugs or wigs, but I think he's in low spirits about it all. Out of all his friends that I've met, he's the only one losing his hair already.

 

[Wash n' Gone]

I can only speak for myself, but for me the best thing you can do is not try to pretend it isn't happening, make clear that it doesn't affect how you feel about him or how attractive you find him and then just let it be unless he indicates he wants to talk about it. Knowing my wife is there for me with things like this is a great source of comfort to me and I am sure it is for your guy too

 

[roki]

So you think it's best if I don't say anything unless he brings it up again?

that's what i would personally prefer

In my opinion, he's long accepted that he's losing his hair and isn't the type to try and fight this with drugs or wigs, but I think he's in low spirits about it all. Out of all his friends that I've met, he's the only one losing his hair already.

this site is great for balding guys belive me,he proboably has no one he talks about with about it ,this is the place to vent ,its important and it will make him feel better ,and he just might decide he would prefer not to lose more

by the way ,being 100% honest wouldnt you prefer if he has hair ?
(talking from your point of view about how he looks not about other things)

 

[Itsonlyinmyhead]

Its good that your being honest Roki and your not trying to kid anyone but this guy has accepted his hairloss, he has just got to move on, so mentioning it shouldnt be an issue.

 

[blondeguy]

Yeah, hiding the issue by not talking about it seems like it would be the worst thing to do.

 

[fall3n]

Being 100% honest, the fact that he's losing his hair doesn't matter in the slightest to me. Sound skeptical if you will... I would have, before I fell in love with this guy. But, I mean, I wasn't attracted to him when I first met him, and he had a head full of hair back then. I'm not saying I would prefer him to have all his hair, or I prefer him going bald... I'm just saying that either way, his hair doesn't impact on how attractive I find him.

He's losing it fairly steadily, I imagine he'll eventually lose all of the hair on the top of his head (it's just thinning out at the moment), but if it did all go, hey, he's one of those men who have the sort of head shape that can pull off having a shaven head. It wouldn't look bad.

He's accepted his hairloss, he just doesn't like it. And I worry that although he knows I love him, as Roki suggested, maybe he thinks I'd prefer it if he wasn't going bald? I don't want to make an issue of this, in case it isn't a big issue for him, but I just want to reassure him if it is. That it isn't for me.

See how clumsy this post reads? This is why I'm so reluctant to talk about things in case I accidentally make things worse.

 

[Itsonlyinmyhead]

fall3n-He shouldnt be worried, especially when he has got a lady like you. Every guy on this forum could do with someone like you then maybe there would be alot less angst, depression and anger. Just keep going like you are, he obviously knows he isnt going to lose you as you seem to care about him alot, which will help him loads.

http://headshave.baldlygo.com/

Try that you can get virtual shave, see how he looks with a shaved head. You can either pay for it and keep in private(his pics will not be posted on the site) or you can get it for free and his pics will be posted on the site

 

[Guest]

if he doesnt worry, dont think too much about it.

and why the hell do you come to this forum and ask us this? what will he think if he finds out?

he will feel stupid i think. why not just ask him if it bothers him. plain and simple. its a normal question. he knows that he is going bald, you know it. and if its noticable, he will even know that you know. so just ask him if it bothers him. its a normal question.

and then you can tell him the other stuff like that you still love him and so on and give him support.

 

[roki]

well i dont think it is good not to talk about it ,if it was me id just bring it up myself BUT i wouldnt like my girl to bring it up b/c it could make me feel insecure ,ill admit i have insecureits issue so i can only speak for myself
your man is very fortenate to have someone like you to support him through this ,maybe it would be best to just show him you still find him attracrive without actually bringing it up ,good luck

 

[lock]

who said the girl was a girl?

 

[blondeguy]

Yeah, typically the term "partner" denotes a guy-guy relationship, not that it matters here.

 

[Itsonlyinmyhead]

who said the girl was a girl?

very true.

Anyways your doing all the right things, just ignore the negative posts on this thread. Make sure you talk it through with him though

 

[IBM]

Someday we'll be forced to accept our hairloss.

 

[zackmcqueen]

'Someday we'll be forced to accept our hairloss.'

Im so confused as to what we've been having to do so far....

 

[Cassin]

I wouldn't being it up unless he does. And if he does, don't open the flood gates of thoughts you have been having either.

My girlfriend never brings it up unless I do and I honestly believe her when she says he doesn't care. I am sure she would prefer I had hair, can't blame her, but its not that big of an issue.

 

[Guest]

This is probably a guy partner in a gay relationship, because we all know that girls won't date any guys with hair loss. At least that's what I read on here. :hairy:

 

[MikeO24]

You sound exactly like my girlfriend. when we met I had hair loss and she just discovered it and I absolutly did not want to talk about it. Shes so great though and I know she doesnt care. It made me feel so much better that she brought it up dispite the way I acted. If you do get the chance to talk to him about it ask him if he is doing anything about it. I am using something as of today and I dont think I would tell my girlfriend who i live with unless she asked me. It can be liberating to him because he may be hiding what he is using as I do. You sound like a great girl and he would be a fool to leave you because its hard to find uncondional love like that