How does one accept the bad hand? What can you do?

INT

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how does that replace sex and relationship experiences?

It doesn’t, but it can give you other ways of fulfillment and open door to like minded people and yes, also women. Sounds like you need a partner to feel good about yourself. You should work on that.
 

Feelsbadman

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It doesn’t, but it can give you other ways of fulfillment and open door to like minded people and yes, also women. Sounds like you need a partner to feel good about yourself. You should work on that.
i play video games, football, and other thngs makes no differnce
 

INT

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i play video games, football, and other thngs makes no differnce
Yeah video games are not going to bring you any fulfillment. You have an unhealthy attachment to being with another human being. You need to work on that attachment. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone but if that is your sole source of any self-worth, you have a problem.

Be honest: would you at this point prefer to have your ex back or to work on yourself and become a higher value person?
 

Feelsbadman

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Yeah video games are not going to bring you any fulfillment. You have an unhealthy attachment to being with another human being. You need to work on that attachment. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be with someone but if that is your sole source of any self-worth, you have a problem.

Be honest: would you at this point prefer to have your ex back or to work on yourself and become a higher value person?
But that's the entire point no amount of "Working on yourself" works What am i meant to do? just keep doing hobbies and other things till the day i die? and just accept a life without sex or a relationship?
 

INT

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But that's the entire point no amount of "Working on yourself" works What am i meant to do? just keep doing hobbies and other things till the day i die? and just accept a life without sex or a relationship?

You did not aswer my question.

You do not love yourself enough to want to work on yourself unless it is for some external goal (= pussy for you). That tells you exactly what is your problem.
 

Feelsbadman

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You did not aswer my question.

You do not love yourself enough to want to work on yourself unless it is for some external goal (= pussy for you). That tells you exactly what is your problem.
I do not want my ex back, I miss the sex and hanging out with her but she is no good. Ok i'll work on myself just like i've been doing for years gym, study, and being social and although that has made things better on face value it has not lead to sex or relationships.
 

Diffused_confidence

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I do not want my ex back, I miss the sex and hanging out with her but she is no good. Ok i'll work on myself just like i've been doing for years gym, study, and being social and although that has made things better on face value it has not lead to sex or relationships.
How far in the balding are you? Norwood 4? Why not stabilize and get a hair transplant?
 

doubleindemnity

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I really think that you need to get books, video games and TV shows that completely immerse you and get you excited to watch them. Same with hobbies. For example, I think that in 1 year I'll be much better at music. There are also a bunch of books that I want to read and sporting events that I want to see this year (heavyweight boxing!). That gives me a reason to live hopefully for the next year.

Working on yourself is futile. Is 'work on oneself' even meaningful? As a bald guy, you won't go back to what you had before. You must make the best of the life that you have now. We're very lucky to live in rich countries, not in poverty and to have free time and social liberties to do things like that.
 

Ascension

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+ natural social anxiety
there is no such thing as natural social anxiety. If you do have social anxiety it was created by your reference experience in your life and how people treated you previously when you stepped a bit out of your comfort zone either in a positive or negative way. Do you really think victorias secret supermodels have natural social anxiety?
 

Feelsbadman

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I really think that you need to get books, video games and TV shows that completely immerse you and get you excited to watch them. Same with hobbies. For example, I think that in 1 year I'll be much better at music. There are also a bunch of books that I want to read and sporting events that I want to see this year (heavyweight boxing!). That gives me a reason to live hopefully for the next year.

Working on yourself is futile. Is 'work on oneself' even meaningful? As a bald guy, you won't go back to what you had before. You must make the best of the life that you have now. We're very lucky to live in rich countries, not in poverty and to have free time and social liberties to do things like that.

Ok thanks ill try this but how do you not get depressed with 0 intimacy?
 

Feelsbadman

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Have you seen his posts? You saying he isn't depressed?
No i havent seen his posts.

I wish I had never had a girlfriend because once i experienced it it really leaves a hole. i'm so thankful i've somehow - been able to delete/bury the memories from my mind it's better like this
 

doubleindemnity

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Ok thanks ill try this but how do you not get depressed with 0 intimacy?
Let's distinguish between unhappy and depressed. I had a test for depression and I didn't have it. I am unhappy, though. But let me share something with you. When I was your age I had the same problems (but no ex): too bald and unattractive to get married and feeling like life is worthless and unhappy being single forever. I tried a whole bunch of things. Between then and now I am more successful. I got in better shape and dressed well. I learned to approach and went out on a few approach sessions. I even paid for some approach lessons (waste of money and scam). I started some new hobbies. I thought that I had social anxiety but found out that I didn't. I actually made a few friends in this period thanks to warm approach, and I guess that I could have made one or two by cold approach too. I have had two pro photoshoots for photos to use on the dating services and most people say that they look good. But the photos have not given any improvement and overall nothing changed for me.

The lesson to learn is that people like us should give up and do whatever we can to accept the bad hand. Coping is a bad word on here but we must learn to cope as well as we can for as long as we live. We are healthy and can, assuming no other problems, live long lives. Maybe my recommendation about books and video games isn't right for you and maybe something else would stimulate and excite you e.g. languages. But I really believe that, knowing what I know now, if I could go back in time, I would give up and learn to cope well instead of putting so much mental energy into believing that my situation could be overcome.
 

Oknow

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Let's distinguish between unhappy and depressed. I had a test for depression and I didn't have it. I am unhappy, though. But let me share something with you. When I was your age I had the same problems (but no ex): too bald and unattractive to get married and feeling like life is worthless and unhappy being single forever. I tried a whole bunch of things. Between then and now I am more successful. I got in better shape and dressed well. I learned to approach and went out on a few approach sessions. I even paid for some approach lessons (waste of money and scam). I started some new hobbies. I thought that I had social anxiety but found out that I didn't. I actually made a few friends in this period thanks to warm approach, and I guess that I could have made one or two by cold approach too. I have had two pro photoshoots for photos to use on the dating services and most people say that they look good. But the photos have not given any improvement and overall nothing changed for me.

The lesson to learn is that people like us should give up and do whatever we can to accept the bad hand. Coping is a bad word on here but we must learn to cope as well as we can for as long as we live. We are healthy and can, assuming no other problems, live long lives. Maybe my recommendation about books and video games isn't right for you and maybe something else would stimulate and excite you e.g. languages. But I really believe that, knowing what I know now, if I could go back in time, I would give up and learn to cope well instead of putting so much mental energy into believing that my situation could be overcome.

Such a depressing read.
If it was that bad for me, I would get a system and find someone
 

Feelsbadman

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Let's distinguish between unhappy and depressed. I had a test for depression and I didn't have it. I am unhappy, though. But let me share something with you. When I was your age I had the same problems (but no ex): too bald and unattractive to get married and feeling like life is worthless and unhappy being single forever. I tried a whole bunch of things. Between then and now I am more successful. I got in better shape and dressed well. I learned to approach and went out on a few approach sessions. I even paid for some approach lessons (waste of money and scam). I started some new hobbies. I thought that I had social anxiety but found out that I didn't. I actually made a few friends in this period thanks to warm approach, and I guess that I could have made one or two by cold approach too. I have had two pro photoshoots for photos to use on the dating services and most people say that they look good. But the photos have not given any improvement and overall nothing changed for me.

The lesson to learn is that people like us should give up and do whatever we can to accept the bad hand. Coping is a bad word on here but we must learn to cope as well as we can for as long as we live. We are healthy and can, assuming no other problems, live long lives. Maybe my recommendation about books and video games isn't right for you and maybe something else would stimulate and excite you e.g. languages. But I really believe that, knowing what I know now, if I could go back in time, I would give up and learn to cope well instead of putting so much mental energy into believing that my situation could be overcome.

Yea but imagine having a gf and Norwood ive experienced it im farkd for life
 
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