Innermind said:
Hope4hairRedux said:
Firstly, I understand that my degree of loss so far hasnt been too bad.
So I realise that it may become harder to deal with as it gets worse.
But my belief is that hair is not the be all and end all. Its a part of attractiveness. Not all of it.
Having no hair looks better on a boney, skinnier, face as opposed to a fat face. Just work on having a good complexion, having relativly low body fat, having a good style.
There are worse things that can happen. Hairloss is sh*t but its not the end of the world. Girls dont judge as by our hair, they judge our looks overall, so sure hairloss may take some points of our looks but its not an instant turn off. Its just that, yes there are some bald(ing) gross guys but generally speaking its their overall character that makes them 'gross'.
I just hope people dont get consumed by it. Its a natural part of life and its a thousand times easier to just accept it.
When your a Norwood 5/6 in your early mid twenties, what your saying is almost insulting. It not just about attractiveness, its about feeling healthy and feeling good about your own well being. When I look into the mirror and I see a bald 25 year old with marks from a hair transplant my first thoughts are... " That doctor is a dead man" and "Wow. I'm a 40 year old man at 25". Yes these are internal thoughts, my perspective. But living in a society where being young and attractive and athletic and wealthy are admired over all, and all of a sudden you lose most your hair in a matter of a few years of what is suppose to be your "prime", its really hard to not be affected deeply in a negative way. It actually has a huge impact on my daily stress levels.
Yes, all this philosophy you recite about accepting it and letting go and being above it is all nice, and in some other Utopian society would be the common thing to do, but were not all Buddhist monks here.
I understand where your coming from mate. I want to make clear that this is just my personal experience. Im not saying that its easy for everyone else. But Im just putting up some personal experience, some tools that I have found to help me deal with it.
At the end of the day, it doesnt matter what type of suffering you have, it all has to be dealt with in a similar way. If you can do something about it, then you try and change it. But if you cant you have to accept it. Thats just the way it goes.
If you have nw2 or nw5, the only way your going to be able to move through it without it consuming you is for you to wake up and just say this is me, I accept myself.
There are lots of things for each person to do to improve themselves, you know that. Im not claiming some magic bullet that will instantly solve everything. But I know from personal experience so far that lamenting over my hairloss isnt going to get me anywhere.
This isnt buddhist talk or mumbo jumbo talk. This to me is real hard on talk. This is the way you find some happiness.
There are millions of things to complain about in this life and I dont want to spend my life lamenting about hairloss. I visualize myself as a happy, healthy and good looking bald man. I visualise baldness to make me better looking and add to my character.
Everyones in a different position both mentally and in terms of their actual hairloss, and im not saying this is easy. But you can move in either direction. I completely know where your coming from when you say its tough etc but its a lonely, dark and self destructive world, where you dislike who you see in the mirror, where you have a lot of negative thoughts and have low self esteem.
Tomorrow is a new day on this interesting planet. Tomorrow you can choose your mentality. Choose a mentalitly that will give you happy and productive thoughts.
