Hair system - what about your girlfriends/wifes?

Kamill

New Member
Reaction score
0
Hi,
My names' Kamil, 26 years old, nearly NW4.

I am going bald drastically fast, since one year I take Propecia 1mg everyday, but my hair is much much worse than before taking it.

I don't know if there is any hope I gave up a few months ago because I believed that hair system would be a great option in my case.

A few months ago I started dating a beautiful, caring girl. I felt in love with her. I don;t know if my hairloss is a problem for hair, she has never mentioned something about it.

I have very bad head shape so I would look shaved like an alien (believe me).

I don't know if I should try hair system, I don't know what would be her reaction. Should I talk to her first and ask her for her opinion?

I don't want lie to her, so I cannot just attach a hair system and hope that she will never finds out (of course she will at the first opportunity).

What about you guys? How your girlfriend/wife reacted to it?
Did she laugh?
Did she accept it?
Did she leave you?
Did she understand?

Did you talk to her before you decided to have a hair system?


I know that wearing a system has a lot of limitations, no swimming for example.
I don't want show her up when some of our friends finds out.

Do hair system really look so good and natural that it could convince her that wearing this is better than me being shaved?
 

2tite2014

Established Member
Reaction score
9
I don't wear so take what I say with a grain of salt, but based the experiences I've read from other wearers who are open to everyone about wearing hair, it's not really a big deal to people. If you're uncomfortable and apologetic about it then people be uncomfortable about it. If it looks good, you're confident about it, and have a sense of humor about it, people will respond positively and not really care. I believe this because I've brought up the idea of wearing to friends and family before, and while they were skeptical at first, once they saw before/after photos they pretty much all thought it was the coolest thing they'd ever seen. If I were you I'd bring up the idea to your girlfriend. Just be casual about it. "Hey, what do you think about this?" and show her some before/after photos of other wearers and gauge her response.
 

grincher

Experienced Member
Reaction score
164
2tite2014's comments are very true. I am a wearer and I am in a long term relationship. My other half was more excited than I was when I initially told her. Now we hardly talk about it and just accept the difference it has made both physically and active wise. I dont make more fuss to anyone else. Those close I say Im wearing a hair system and I often get astonishment and good comments.

If done correctly, a hair system will look natural and great.

In your particular situation, it all depends on the kind of relationship you have and the kind of person your partner is. The fact you are dating and your hairloss isnt an issue is great. I dont see why she wouldnt support you unless she prefers bald men :)

ps I have swam in my system more than once without problems


 

Kamill

New Member
Reaction score
0
Thank you guys for your comments.
This is very helpful.
Actually I don't know if my hairloss is problem for her, maybe it is but she has never mentioned it. I think that this is matter of time, because my hairloss is more visible from week to week.


How do you feel with your hair system?

My friend wore it a few months and he confessed that this time was most stressful in his life. He told me that everybody wanted to touch his head and many people commented it. I didn’t see it, but I think that it didn’t look good. I thiink people wouldn’t care too much if it did look good.
I think that when it looks natural and good people will not care too much. However I think that it requires a lot of courage to wear it.

How did you swim with it? I read a lot of comments saying that hair system looks very bad when you get out of the water and you have to put a baseball cap on. The problem wouldn’t be with my girlfriend, because she would know, what about the others?
What about wind?
 

WhitePolarBear

Banned
My Regimen
Reaction score
9,416
If it looks good, you're confident about it, and have a sense of humor about it, people will respond positively and not really care.

It seems the Slybaldguys are not the only bald men living in complete delusion.

Do you really think people will not care about the fact that you are fooling them with fake hair?

They will resent you for that, and in turn mock you very harshly. People don't like to be tricked.

I know because it's the case for people who know my father is wearing.

"Hahaha, his father, la moumoute! (it's a French slang to mock wig wearers)"

If you seriously believe all this positivity about wearing a wig, then you're delusional.
 

Notcoolanymore

Senior Member
Reaction score
1,443
I have heard many times that wearing hair is one of the top choices for men dealing with hair loss. With that being said, it has to be one of the least accepted solutions when it comes to the general public. As bad as it sounds even other bald men will **** on guys wearing hair pieces. I have thrown around the idea(jokingly) to my GF about getting a wig and she emphatically says "No your not".
 

WhitePolarBear

Banned
My Regimen
Reaction score
9,416
I have thrown around the idea(jokingly) to my GF about getting a wig and she emphatically says "No your not".

It's funny how my current girlfriend of 6 months doesn't even know that I have male pattern baldness, and I was still a NW5 a year ago.

Not only she doesn't know, but if I told her, I'm sure she would laugh at me in disbelief.

How did I pull that off? Simple, a hair transplant, because it's a viable and efficient solution for hair loss.

I don't think she would be so oblivious about my problem if I had chosen the hair piece route.
 

Secretlybatman

Established Member
Reaction score
16
I dunno man, I mean shane warne wears a hairpeice and he's been dating models and many women and it's really publically known that he wears one.
 

WhitePolarBear

Banned
My Regimen
Reaction score
9,416
I dunno man, I mean shane warne wears a hairpeice and he's been dating models and many women and it's really publically known that he wears one.

For god's sake, can we stop with the celebrities? These people can get away with anything.

Are you a celebrity? Is anyone on this forum a celebrity? Of course not.
 

Noah

Senior Member
Reaction score
1,576

My experience has been the same as others. I have had several medium and long-term partners while I have had the hairpiece. In a couple of cases I have not disclosed about my hair. In the others, I have kept the secret for a while and then broken the news. It is always a slightly awkward conversation to have, not because of the hairpiece, but because you worry that the other person will feel they weren't trusted. In all cases the people I have told have been understanding and supportive. One person said - I'm sure you would look good without your piece (which was nice, but isn't actually true LOL). The others have just accepted that it is my personal decision about my appearance, and that was that.

It is a paradox that in the abstract there is a stigma attached to men wearing wigs, whereas (at least in my experience) there is not a problem between real people. The people I have told obviously realise that I don't like being bald and am sensitive about it, and my hairpieces look completely natural and make me look younger and better. The idea that people would mock this situation is just nonsense - in the real world people are not so malicious or so childish. I don't regard myself as trying to "fool" people, and neither do the people I meet. The word "fool" implies an aggressive manipulative element which is absent in real life. People who get a transplant are not trying to "fool" people that they didn't go bald, and neither are people who use a hairpiece.

As others have said, you certainly can swim in a hairpiece, and it looks fine when you emerge from the water if it is a decent piece. I have scuba dived and water skied in mine. I will say that the combination of salt and strong sunlight will nuke the hair very quickly if you don't protect it though.


 

2tite2014

Established Member
Reaction score
9
Yeah just listen to Fred. Pay thousands of dollars for surgery, because hair transplants work for everybody all the time, and never go wrong ever.
 

WhitePolarBear

Banned
My Regimen
Reaction score
9,416
Yeah just listen to Fred. Pay thousands of dollars for surgery, because hair transplants work for everybody all the time, and never go wrong ever.

If you choose a top surgeon like I did, yes it will work and it won't go wrong. It's funny that you're mentioning the price because a hair transplant is cheaper than a hair piece.

Oh and you think a hair piece can't go wrong? Imagine you wear one for a few months, then you realised one person has discovered you were wearing and told all your acquaintances.

You will be the butt of the joke forever now. Even when you take it off, people will joke about the fact that you thought you could get away by putting a carpet on your head.

At that point, you probably should move to another town and start over.
 

zdm632

Established Member
Reaction score
35
It's funny how my current girlfriend of 6 months doesn't even know that I have male pattern baldness, and I was still a NW5 a year ago.

Not only she doesn't know, but if I told her, I'm sure she would laugh at me in disbelief.

How did I pull that off? Simple, a hair transplant, because it's a viable and efficient solution for hair loss.

I don't think she would be so oblivious about my problem if I had chosen the hair piece route.


Come on, Fred...
No offense, i don't want to upset you, but you're the one calling people delusional.
And, unfortunately, here you are a bit deluded, yes, i admit that your current hair situation is way better than slick bald NW5, but, come on, that's very thin hair and very very far from a full head of hair.
Of course you're very happy because you went from NW5 to (thin) coverage, but how can you say that nobody could suspect you have hairloss? Who are you trying to fool here?
For someone who sees you for the first time it's hard to not notice that you have very thin hair on top. I doubt ******** or other top surgeon would be proud with a result like that(even if, realistically talking, that's pretty much what could be done with your available donor), maybe that's why they turned you down.
Anyway, what matters is that you're happy with it, but don't pretend that other people think that you never had hairloss/male pattern baldness, because it's obvious thinness there.
And, by the way, De reys seems a decent sugeon, but i don't think he's on the "top world surgeons" list. If i'm not in mistake, he isn't even a member of any hair surgeon association.

- - - Updated - - -

If you choose a top surgeon like I did, yes it will work and it won't go wrong. It's funny that you're mentioning the price because a hair transplant is cheaper than a hair piece.

Oh and you think a hair piece can't go wrong? Imagine you wear one for a few months, then you realised one person has discovered you were wearing and told all your acquaintances.

You will be the butt of the joke forever now. Even when you take it off, people will joke about the fact that you thought you could get away by putting a carpet on your head.

At that point, you probably should move to another town and start over.

Yes, maybe that would be the case, but at the same time, people can also ridicule you for having hair transplant's.

Having said this, i must stress that i don't support the hairpiece solution at all!
I remember one time in my life when i was using hair concealers extensively, in the first days everything was awesome, that ****ty dust in a box almost gave me a full luxurious head of hair. But in a few months it started to drive me crazy. And i think the main reason was the shock when you washed the fibers off and the hassle to apply them every morning. Very very nasty.
I assume with hairpiece is the same, or even worse. You get used to your look with the hairpiece, but then when you take it out at 2-3 weeks, it's some kind of shock that drives you crazy. Oh, and not speaking about its maintenance, keeping it in sync with the hair on sides, the cost, etc.
So, yes, i agree 100% to you that a hair transplant(or 2 or 3 if you need them and have donor) is a much better solution than a ****ty carpet of fake hair glued to your scalp.
Omg, and i don't even want to think how gross would be the sebum/sweat accumulating under the piece. And i don't get at all how you could go even one full week with that sticked to your head. Wtf? You are supposed to wash your hair daily, or at most at 2-3 days, how in the world can you go 3-4 weeks(omg) with hair not-washed, and on top of that with some carpet glued on it? I can't imagine how someone could do that...

Hairpiece is a horrific solution, yes, you can look good to other people, look perfect if you get a high-end one, but at what cost? To constantly obsess about it, worry about wind, rain, itch, etc, heat in summer and so on.
 

WhitePolarBear

Banned
My Regimen
Reaction score
9,416
I tell you, no one knows or would suspect anything, people outside the world of hair loss just don't know any better.

Don't you think my girlfriend would have mentioned in the 6 months we've been together, or even her family (of NW1's), or her friends?

And don't tell me they don't want to be rude, people wouldn't hesitate to tell you "in your face" that you're balding. They just don't have a clue.

Oh and my result is still improving by the way. When they say you have to wait a year to have the final result, you must wait a year to evaluate your situation.

De Reys is a top surgeon, he's just ostracised because he's independent, he even left the prohairclinic that would be nothing without him.

******** told me that Bart (the representative of the prohairclinic) was wise to deny me a hair transplant.

I respect ********'s work, but come on, telling a 23 year old patient to "wig it up"? I understand he only wants textbook cases like 35 year old NW3's on finasteride.

There is no challenge in that. At least De Reys was up to the challenge, and he managed to give me an acceptable head of hair.
 

Secretlybatman

Established Member
Reaction score
16
Shane warne still counts as a celebrity?
Ask a lot of americans who he is, Less than 2% will know. Furthermore celebrities get away with everything? Bull****. Celebrities are constantly torn apart on their appearance even main stream celebrities today, shane warne was no different when he first got everything done but now no one talks about it because no one gives a crap. It's also interesting that the only people who seemed to give him crap at the time were the types that were like "oh don't be a pussy just shave it"
If anything celebrities are a good example of how society reacts because more people talk about the issue itself than they would a regular person and thus you get a wider variety of opinions.
 

Noah

Senior Member
Reaction score
1,576
A plea for solidarity guys - we need to live and let live a bit more on this board, rather than trying to ram our pet theory down everyone else's throat or rubbishing a solution which works for someone else. We are all in the same boat, and no one has a monopoly on the answer. None of the options is wholly satisfactory; each has its good points and bad points. It is good to give your experiences, and to explain the merits of the solution you have chosen and why you think it is best for you. It is OK to say why the other options haven't worked for you or why you don't think they are a good solution. But to come on here and just rudely try to shout down any other opinion and make people feel small is just bad manners, and frankly just makes you look like an obsessive.

No one here is saying hairpieces are the right answer for everyone - far from it. But they are cheap, reversible, reliable and they provide a very good cosmetic result if done well. Millions of guys wear them and are happy with them, including many rich and famous people whose careers depend on their looks and who could easily afford the best drugs and hair transplants that money can buy - from Humphrey Bogart to Jeremy Piven to Enrique Iglesias. So even if the idea of wearing a hairpiece is abhorrent to you, it undoubtedly won't be to others. Please quit the dogmatic rants and have a bit of respect for others' opinions.
 

WhitePolarBear

Banned
My Regimen
Reaction score
9,416
No one here is saying hairpieces are the right answer for everyone - far from it. But they are cheap, reversible, reliable and they provide a very good cosmetic result if done well. Millions of guys wear them and are happy with them, including many rich and famous people whose careers depend on their looks and who could easily afford the best drugs and hair transplants that money can buy - from Humphrey Bogart to Jeremy Piven to Enrique Iglesias. So even if the idea of wearing a hairpiece is abhorrent to you, it undoubtedly won't be to others. Please quit the dogmatic rants and have a bit of respect for others' opinions.

Everything in red is simply not true. Jeremy Piven had a transplant for example.

Hair pieces are the most expensive solution for hair loss, far above the hair transplants, medication, and concealers.

Reliable? How many times have I seen my father angry because the colour of his new hair piece was not done right, or because the texture was not good etc.

Do you really think that millions of guys in the world are wearing hair pieces? Please. And don't tell me we don't see them because they are done well.

My father told me he can spot hair pieces a mile away, and he sees a guy with a hair piece maybe once a year.

Also, almost all of the guys he knew from his hair piece provider gave up because it was too much of a hassle. So they're happy you say?

I suggest you stop talking about something you clearly don't know anything about.
 

Noah

Senior Member
Reaction score
1,576
ZDM632 - I want to put you right about a few misconceptions in what you have written, at least as seen from my perspective.

In fact hairpieces are a lot less trouble and a lot better looking than scalp make-up like Toppik. Sure there is some hassle involved in weekly maintenance to keep the piece looking good - maybe 90 minutes once a week - but you get into the groove with it and it is not such a big deal. There is also some cost obviously, but if you go DIY as I do the total cost per year is around the US$ 1000 mark. Even over a decade that is a lot lower than all but the very luckiest hair transplant users.

There is no reason with a modern lace hairpiece why you can't wash your hair every day if you want to. Water and soap just wash straight through the lace base and your scalp is completely clean and fresh. Hairpieces you couldn't wash or remove went out of fashion in the 80's - even Hair Club are not selling those any more.


If someone is constantly obsessing about his hairpiece, then a piece is not a sensible solution for that person. The wind and rain don't affect modern lace hairpieces negatively at all. There is a slight increase in heat, but less than wearing a thin ball cap. Itch should not be a problem - if it is that indicates an allergy to the adhesive, which needs to be addressed and cured.
 

WhitePolarBear

Banned
My Regimen
Reaction score
9,416
ZDM632 - I want to put you right about a few misconceptions in what you have written, at least as seen from my perspective.

In fact hairpieces are a lot less trouble and a lot better looking than scalp make-up like Toppik. Sure there is some hassle involved in weekly maintenance to keep the piece looking good - maybe 90 minutes once a week - but you get into the groove with it and it is not such a big deal. There is also some cost obviously, but if you go DIY as I do the total cost per year is around the US$ 1000 mark. Even over a decade that is a lot lower than all but the very luckiest hair transplant users.

There is no reason with a modern lace hairpiece why you can't wash your hair every day if you want to. Water and soap just wash straight through the lace base and your scalp is completely clean and fresh. Hairpieces you couldn't wash or remove went out of fashion in the 80's - even Hair Club are not selling those any more.


If someone is constantly obsessing about his hairpiece, then a piece is not a sensible solution for that person. The wind and rain don't affect modern lace hairpieces negatively at all. There is a slight increase in heat, but less than wearing a thin ball cap. Itch should not be a problem - if it is that indicates an allergy to the adhesive, which needs to be addressed and cured.

OK, the way you're reacting here, there's no doubt about it, you sell hair pieces.
 

Noah

Senior Member
Reaction score
1,576
Jeremy Piven had a failed transplant and now wears a hairpiece. This is pretty well documented. As for the "millions of men", I admit that is just a guess.

I don't sell hairpieces; I am a process engineer in a technology company. Everything I have said is true to my own experience as a youngish balding guy wearing a piece. PM me your email and I will show you my pictures, so you can judge for yourself.

Your father is wearing an outdated product, possibly because that is what is available in Belgium or possibly because he is used to it and cannot be bothered to change. That is very common. But you cannot judge what is currently available solely by your father's experiences. We have discussed this before.
 
Top