Had an epiphany

[recboi]

WARNING: THis thread contains women hatred.

My hairloss issue has been solved. My girlfriend dumped me, 99% sure it had nothing to do with my hair. But like every other women I have dated, it was them being incredibly selfish and a liar, and usually a cheater. I was told lie after lie after lie. It turns out, like every chick, she didn't know what she wanted, and she was a commitmentphobe. Her own words after prying her. Could still be a lie, but oh well..

So I no longer have to deal with the issue of her finding out about my hair transplant, or my future hairloss. But also, I realized, it will only happen again. The divorce rate is incredibly high, and women regardless of age, don't know what they want. It's like they are perpetual children. They have so many options that they can afford to not know what they want, because they still don't have to be alone.

I realize that I'm better off being alone, so I no longer care about my physical appearance. I won't let myself get fat or anything like that, but since I'm not going to be with women anymore, my hair really is a non issue now.

 

[Pondle]

That's a little bit misogynistic. Not all women are 'the same', just as not all men, black people, Jews, Arabs, [insert group of your choice here] are 'the same'.

In general, though, women and men do seem to have different priorities in the dating game.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/ ... arts.shtml

In your personal case, maybe you're dating the 'wrong kind' of women. Or maybe you've just been unlucky. But you learn from experience - and in some senses, 'failure' is a better learning experience than 'success'.
http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/co ... 992001.htm

Once you've gotten over this period of hurt - and we've all been there - I'm sure you'll get back into it.

 

[Guest]

I am sorry for you, but as you already pointed out, it is better to let it happen now then when you are married. You are right, this time is the golden age for being a woman. One who is staying in shape more or less has all opportunities in this world. I got humilated by women so many times in my life I can not count it anymore. So I have decided to stay alone for the rest of my life as well. Even if there was a woman who was nice to me, I could not forgive her for what other people have done to me. I know it is not fair, but this is how I feel.

@ pondle: Women below 25 want good looks, a bf she can present her girlfriend
Women above 25 want money

 

[recboi]

That's a little bit misogynistic. Not all women are 'the same', just as not all men, black people, Jews, Arabs, [insert group of your choice here] are 'the same'.

In general, though, women and men do seem to have different priorities in the dating game.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/ ... arts.shtml

In your personal case, maybe you're dating the 'wrong kind' of women. Or maybe you've just been unlucky. But you learn from experience - and in some senses, 'failure' is a better learning experience than 'success'.
http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/co ... 992001.htm

Once you've gotten over this period of hurt - and we've all been there - I'm sure you'll get back into it.

I've dated multiple k inds of women. M eeting them from different places, some online, some offline, some through friends. The only commonality was that a majority of them were the "nerdy" type, you know, the ones that every says aren't commitmentphobes.

Oh, they all wore glasses. Is that the wrong "type"?

Nope, no more getting back into it. I'm done. I'm probably older than some of you, and I've learned the same lesson over and over, or maybe I've finally learned it this time.

This one wasn't even materialistic in the slightest.

 

[recboi]

I am sorry for you, but as you already pointed out, it is better to let it happen now then when you are married. You are right, this time is the golden age for being a woman. One who is staying in shape more or less has all opportunities in this world. I got humilated by women so many times in my life I can not count it anymore. So I have decided to stay alone for the rest of my life as well. Even if there was a woman who was nice to me, I could not forgive her for what other people have done to me. I know it is not fair, but this is how I feel.

@ pondle: Women below 25 want good looks, a bf she can present her girlfriend
Women above 25 want money

I wouldn't ever blame someone in the future for what someone in the past did. But I won't ever trust a woman again. EVery single "i love you" "I want a commitment" "i want to be married" all the talk of future plans, have all been lies. They've even admitted it, and basically said "look, I'm a chick. I have no f*****g clue what I want. When I think I know what I want, it then changes". Chicks these days are commitmentphobes, like they say guys are. I'm sure there are some great women out there, but they are very rare, and likely not single.

My latest ex knew about my past. Knew about me having my heart broken multiple times by cruel women. She said she would never do that, that she's only had long relationships, etc, that it will likely be me breaking up with her, etc.. she even would say things like "when we're 50, you better still find me attractive. You have to think about the future you know. I'm not going to be young looking forever". All this stuff that was meant to make me think this was for real, when she knew even then it wasn't true. She said she wanted it to be true, really did, but she knew it wasn't...

I'm not going to stay home for the rest of my life, but I won't be going out for a long time. I'm going to relocate to a more suburban area. My apartment reminds me of her. I've been to all of the bars around here with her. Even my car, reminds me of her. My bed, my sheets, my mattress, my kitchen, my couch, all of that.. She knew, she knew. I have told her that if she has any potentiality for being cruel and heartless and not being able to make a commitment, then don't date me. She said she had no such issues. Turned out by her own admission she has serious commitment issues due to her own past stupid decisionmaking and family life. She completely lied to me, and absolutely doesn't care how much she hurt me.

Your formula isn't accurate. She was over 25 and wasn't concerned at all about money. If anyting she was concerned about drama, excitement, and some guy from her past that she screwed over yet misses incredibly. I made vastly more money than her. Her parents thought I was the real deal, but since it was good, since it was a commitment, she freaked out..

 

[hairwegoagain]

Sorry to hear about your breakup. Like Pondle said, we've all been through it.

Believe me, give it time. You don't have to move away...and you SHOULD NOT move away. You have to muster strength and tell yourself things will get back to normal, because they absolutely will. After a couple weeks things will seem a little better. A couple months and you'll start feeling more like yourself. Don't run away.

And, I also agree with Pondle. It took me a while to figure it out, but in my young and mid-20s I dated a few of the "wrong kind" of girls. Keep looking and you will find your match. I found 2 girls during my dating life that I seriously evisioned marrying. The first one was my girlfriend in college, the second is my wife.

You will know you've found the one when every aspect of her makes you wonder what you've done to deserve her.

 

[recboi]

Sorry to hear about your breakup. Like Pondle said, we've all been through it.

I also know what you mean about your apartment, car, whatever reminding you of the girl. My first really long-term girlfriend helped me pick out my first new car. We ended up breaking up after 4 years and it was tough to drive that car for a while. I also would find things she had left behind in my apartment...little stuff like hair bands, paper with her writing, a rogue sock, etc. It was damn tough, even though I knew the breakup was for the best.

Believe me, give it time. You don't have to move away...and you SHOULD NOT move away. You have to muster strength and tell yourself things will get back to normal, because they absolutely will. After a couple weeks things will seem a little better. A couple months and you'll start feeling more like yourself. Don't run away.

And, I also agree with Pondle. It took me a while to figure it out, but in my young and mid-20s I dated a few of the "wrong kind" of girls. Keep looking and you will find your match. I found 2 girls during my dating life that I seriously evisioned marrying. The first one was my girlfriend in college, the second is my wife.

You will know you've found the one when every aspect of her makes you wonder what you've done to deserve her.

Actually as I've gotten older, the women have been worse. it seems like when I was young and in college, the women actually wanted commitment. Now they don't know what they want except that it's not me. They have the freedom to make all sorts of stupid decisions, without consequence. It's like dating is a form of entertainment for them. They figure it's like a TV show for them, and that there will always be some guy in the future, so it doesn't matter how they treat the current guy...

I have no "type". Some nerdy ones, some party ones, some materialistic ones, some totaly down to earth ones, they've all been the same, non committal and not knowing what they want.

 

[Pondle]

No offence, but I think you're sending out the wrong message. Admitting to actual or potential girlfriends that you "have [had] your heart broken multiple times by cruel women" makes you look self-pitying, weak, a 'victim'. Women usually don't want a guy like that. They want a man who is confident and strong. Now can you see why your ex might have had second thoughts about committing to you?

BTW why shouldn't dating be fun, for either men or women? Just enjoy playing the field and try not to take it (or yourself) too seriously. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your pink princess. Sounds like you might be throwing yourself at people, perhaps expecting every girl you go out with to be 'the one'. As I've learned to my cost, heart-on-the-sleeve stuff is a real turn-off. It scares people off - and besides, no-one wants anything that's too easy to get. The simple economics of dating!

 

[recboi]

No offence, but I think you're sending out the wrong message. Admitting to actual or potential girlfriends that you "have [had] your heart broken multiple times by cruel women" makes you look self-pitying, weak, a 'victim'. Women usually don't want a guy like that. They want a man who is confident and strong. Now can you see why your ex might have had second thoughts about committing to you?

BTW why shouldn't dating be fun, for either men or women? Just enjoy playing the field and try not to take it (or yourself) too seriously. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your pink princess. Sounds like you might be throwing yourself at people, perhaps expecting every girl you go out with to be 'the one'. As I've learned to my cost, heart-on-the-sleeve stuff is a real turn-off. It scares people off - and besides, no-one wants anything that's too easy to get. The simple economics of dating!

It actually wasn't like that. We met from an online discussion board. She knew of my dating past just from reading it. She still said she wanted to meet me knowing that. She willingly got involved knowing, and I still mentioned, you know all that, please don't do that to me, and she said have no fear... She knew everything, yet still chose to get involved with me.

PS: I don't expect everyone to be "the one". But when they bring up marriage, moving in together, future plans, talking about the distant future, I guess I have reason to trust that they were being serious and not totally noncommittal like she actually was, right? It's like this one went out of her way to be cruel to me.

 

[Louie]

No offence, but I think you're sending out the wrong message. Admitting to actual or potential girlfriends that you "have [had] your heart broken multiple times by cruel women" makes you look self-pitying, weak, a 'victim'. Women usually don't want a guy like that. They want a man who is confident and strong. Now can you see why your ex might have had second thoughts about committing to you?

BTW why shouldn't dating be fun, for either men or women? Just enjoy playing the field and try not to take it (or yourself) too seriously. You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your pink princess. Sounds like you might be throwing yourself at people, perhaps expecting every girl you go out with to be 'the one'. As I've learned to my cost, heart-on-the-sleeve stuff is a real turn-off. It scares people off - and besides, no-one wants anything that's too easy to get. The simple economics of dating!

That's some good advice for any guy to hear.

 

[s.a.f]

My hairloss issue has been solved. My girlfriend dumped me, 99% sure it had nothing to do with my hair. But like every other women I have dated, it was them being incredibly selfish and a liar, and usually a cheater. I was told lie after lie after lie. It turns out, like every chick, she didn't know what she wanted, and she was a commitmentphobe. Her own words after prying her. Could still be a lie, but oh well..

So I no longer have to deal with the issue of her finding out about my hair transplant, or my future hairloss. But also, I realized, it will only happen again. The divorce rate is incredibly high, and women regardless of age, don't know what they want. It's like they are perpetual children. They have so many options that they can afford to not know what they want, because they still don't have to be alone.

I realize that I'm better off being alone, so I no longer care about my physical appearance. I won't let myself get fat or anything like that, but since I'm not going to be with women anymore, my hair really is a non issue now.

I am sorry for you, but as you already pointed out, it is better to let it happen now then when you are married. You are right, this time is the golden age for being a woman :shakehead: . One who is staying in shape more or less has all opportunities in this world. I got humilated by women so many times in my life I can not count it anymore. So I have decided to stay alone for the rest of my life as well. Even if there was a woman who was nice to me, I could not forgive her for what other people have done to me. I know it is not fair, but this is how I feel.

@ pondle: Women below 25 want good looks, a bf she can present her girlfriend
Women above 25 want money

Jesus, what a complete load of shite. :roll:

Recboi, yes your g/f left because of your hair but not what it looks like what it has turned you into (a paranoid freak). If that was the case why did she go out with you in the first place?
If this is your theories on women no wonder you are having no luck.
obviously I'd expect this kind of drivel from a bitter guy who's never had any social interaction with a woman and has a profuse fear of sexual inadiquacy (Taug)
but not someone who's actually been out with a girl.

 

[recboi]

My hairloss issue has been solved. My girlfriend dumped me, 99% sure it had nothing to do with my hair. But like every other women I have dated, it was them being incredibly selfish and a liar, and usually a cheater. I was told lie after lie after lie. It turns out, like every chick, she didn't know what she wanted, and she was a commitmentphobe. Her own words after prying her. Could still be a lie, but oh well..

So I no longer have to deal with the issue of her finding out about my hair transplant, or my future hairloss. But also, I realized, it will only happen again. The divorce rate is incredibly high, and women regardless of age, don't know what they want. It's like they are perpetual children. They have so many options that they can afford to not know what they want, because they still don't have to be alone.

I realize that I'm better off being alone, so I no longer care about my physical appearance. I won't let myself get fat or anything like that, but since I'm not going to be with women anymore, my hair really is a non issue now.

I am sorry for you, but as you already pointed out, it is better to let it happen now then when you are married. You are right, this time is the golden age for being a woman :shakehead: . One who is staying in shape more or less has all opportunities in this world. I got humilated by women so many times in my life I can not count it anymore. So I have decided to stay alone for the rest of my life as well. Even if there was a woman who was nice to me, I could not forgive her for what other people have done to me. I know it is not fair, but this is how I feel.

@ pondle: Women below 25 want good looks, a bf she can present her girlfriend
Women above 25 want money

Jesus, what a complete load of shite. :roll:

Recboi, yes your g/f left because of your hair but not what it looks like what it has turned you into (a paranoid freak). If that was the case why did she go out with you in the first place?
If this is your theories on women no wonder you are having no luck.
obviously I'd expect this kind of drivel from a bitter guy who's never had any social interaction with a woman and has a profuse fear of sexual inadiquacy (Taug)
but not someone who's actually been out with a girl.

I never said it had anything to do with my hair. I just said I had enough bad experiences that I no longer care about my hair because i won't be with women anymore. . I don't carea bout my hair now.

 

[s.a.f]

Sorry Recboi misread your opening sentance. :blush: , but my response to Taugs beliefs still applies.

 

[Bald Dave]

I am sorry to hear about your break up dude! Start going out with friends, enjoy your hobbies and take some time out for yourself.

My advice is to not look for women and let them look for you! What I mean by this is that in my experience when I've gone to bars to solely look for a girls I've had no luck because I've been trying too hard! But if you go out with friends and don't go looking I've found that I've had more luck!

 

[recboi]

I am sorry to hear about your break up dude! Start going out with friends, enjoy your hobbies and take some time out for yourself.

My advice is to not look for women and let them look for you! What I mean by this is that in my experience when I've gone to bars to solely look for a girls I've had no luck because I've been trying too hard! But if you go out with friends and don't go looking I've found that I've had more luck!

While I appreciate the sentiment, you should really know that women don't "find you". Men have to do all the work, do the pursuing. Any guy who says he's given up on women and found one is lying, becuase he still had to do the pursuing, the impressing, etc..

 

[DoctorHouse]

As I said in my post to CCS, women love to complain, complain, complain. They seem to be never satisfied about anything. All they want is to be the center of attention and that you tell them they are beautiful and wonderful. They need constant verbal positive re-enforcement that you care for them and that you still find them attractive. They are a lot of work but they will give you want you want( "the sex")only if you give them what they want( " the emotional friend"). When you don't play the emotional friend then sometimes the only way you get "the sex" is if you either get them drunk or get them high or buy them something really expensive or nice or lastly want to give them a baby. Its all a game. However, sometimes when you get an average looking girl with low self-esteem and poor confidence and you appear above average in looks( or even in her perspective look like a real hunk) then she will be at your beck and call and do any thing for you without you having to do anything for her. But the danger is once she gains confidence and her self- esteem is high, she will probably find someone else and get rid of you unless you become her emotional friend. :agree:

 

[s.a.f]

They are a lot of work but they will give you want you want( "the sex")only if you give them what they want( " the emotional friend"). When you don't play the emotional friend then sometimes the only way you get "the sex" is if you either get them drunk or get them high or buy them something really expensive or nice or lastly want to give them a baby. Its all a game. However, sometimes when you get an average looking girl with low self-esteem and poor confidence and you appear above average in looks( or even in her perspective look like a real hunk) then she will be at your beck and call and do any thing for you without you having to do anything for her. But the danger is once she gains confidence and her self- esteem is high, she will probably find someone else and get rid of you unless you become her emotional friend. :agree:

Has CCS hacked into your account Doctor? :shock:

 

[Guest]

As I said in my post to CCS, women love to complain, complain, complain. They seem to be never satisfied about anything. All they want is to be the center of attention and that you tell them they are beautiful and wonderful. They need constant verbal positive re-enforcement that you care for them and that you still find them attractive. They are a lot of work but they will give you want you want( "the sex")only if you give them what they want( " the emotional friend"). When you don't play the emotional friend then sometimes the only way you get "the sex" is if you either get them drunk or get them high or buy them something really expensive or nice or lastly want to give them a baby. Its all a game. However, sometimes when you get an average looking girl with low self-esteem and poor confidence and you appear above average in looks( or even in her perspective look like a real hunk) then she will be at your beck and call and do any thing for you without you having to do anything for her. But the danger is once she gains confidence and her self- esteem is high, she will probably find someone else and get rid of you unless you become her emotional friend. :agree:

Jesus, that is complicated.....

 

[person]

As I said in my post to CCS, women love to complain, complain, complain. They seem to be never satisfied about anything. All they want is to be the center of attention and that you tell them they are beautiful and wonderful. They need constant verbal positive re-enforcement that you care for them and that you still find them attractive. They are a lot of work but they will give you want you want( "the sex")only if you give them what they want( " the emotional friend"). When you don't play the emotional friend then sometimes the only way you get "the sex" is if you either get them drunk or get them high or buy them something really expensive or nice or lastly want to give them a baby. Its all a game. However, sometimes when you get an average looking girl with low self-esteem and poor confidence and you appear above average in looks( or even in her perspective look like a real hunk) then she will be at your beck and call and do any thing for you without you having to do anything for her. But the danger is once she gains confidence and her self- esteem is high, she will probably find someone else and get rid of you unless you become her emotional friend. :agree:

Jesus, that is complicated.....

But nevertheless quite accurate though I would disagree with the emotional friend part. I think that only applies when the girl has grown feelings for you. If you be too emotional towards her or give her too many compliments in the start of a relationship she will consider you 'weak' and find you less attractive. However much you want to say how amazing the girl is after you have slept with her please guys do not do this until at least the third time you have had sex with her! I know this is hard but take my advice and reap the rewards.

 

[DoctorHouse]

S.A.F., I was not even on my computer when that was posted. CCS must have some how hacked into my account. I think my computer was violated. :sobbing: