Boondock(2)
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It's been a while since I was on here. I'm not sure how many of you remember me, but I accumulated >1,000 posts a while back before requesting for my account to be deleted. I was in a dark place and needed to sort myself out.
Anyway, I've since been doing quite a bit better. After a brief dalliance with the world of hair systems that did not go well, I began to piece my life back together. I now have a great job, am more optimistic about the future, and in general psychologically doing quite well. I still haven't had a proper girlfriend since I hit Norwood 3, but I no longer think it's an impossible challenge.
Anyway, with the benefit of some hindsight, I thought I'd give people my thoughts on hair loss based on the past several years' experience:
1. Spend as much time on your psychological 'regimen' as you do on your physical hair loss regimen. This is at least as much a mental challenge as it is a biological one - there is no point in stabilizing your hair if you feel like sh*t about yourself. You need to be very, very careful to continue nurting your social relationships, keeping yourself active, pursuing hobbies, getting exercise, treating yourself well. If you aren't careful, this disorder can push you into a nasty state of mind - and it is very hard to get out of it once you're there.
2. In line with the above, do not spend much time on the boards. Research, and vent if needs be, then get out asap. It's very easy to keep reading about this stuff, but it's like pouring salt into a wound. Many of the people online are well-intentioned but will not ultimately help you out of this. Even 'venting' is of dubious worth, in my opinion.
3. Be open about hair loss and how it bothers you (with close allies). When hair loss hits you hard, it's very tempting to think that even mentioning it is a sign of weakness. I discovered that sensitivity and weakness are two very different things. It's actually a sign of strength to talk about this stuff occasionally, and you can often get much better insights than you would through posting a question on a hair loss board. Don't go moping around to everyone, but if a close friend asks you about it - try being honest and see what happens.
4. Don't feel bad for compensating. For some reason I used to see trying to make money or put on muscle as a loser's game for hair loss. It isn't really. You have to control what you have, and there is no shame at all in making the most of what you can change.
5. Learn to let the 'old you' go. This was the hardest one for me. With hair loss, for many of us there really is no going back. You may never be the cheeky chappy with girls going after you like you were at 18, but you have to deal with that. Life can be good, it can even be better than before if you make the right changes - but you have to let the past go first.
6. Accept that life is unfair. Yes, you will now have to work harder than NW1s in life - there is no avoiding that. You can either b**ch about how unfair that is, or spend that time and energy actually putting in that effort to get to where you need to be.
7. Enjoy it while you can. It's now obvious to me that life - and particularly youth - is really, really fleeting. Many of you won't look back in 30 years and curse the way your hair was, but curse the fact that you spent so much time and effort slowing down the decline while you missed out on having fun.
It's important to live the life you have, not to mourn the one you don't.
Peace out folks,
Boondock
Anyway, I've since been doing quite a bit better. After a brief dalliance with the world of hair systems that did not go well, I began to piece my life back together. I now have a great job, am more optimistic about the future, and in general psychologically doing quite well. I still haven't had a proper girlfriend since I hit Norwood 3, but I no longer think it's an impossible challenge.
Anyway, with the benefit of some hindsight, I thought I'd give people my thoughts on hair loss based on the past several years' experience:
1. Spend as much time on your psychological 'regimen' as you do on your physical hair loss regimen. This is at least as much a mental challenge as it is a biological one - there is no point in stabilizing your hair if you feel like sh*t about yourself. You need to be very, very careful to continue nurting your social relationships, keeping yourself active, pursuing hobbies, getting exercise, treating yourself well. If you aren't careful, this disorder can push you into a nasty state of mind - and it is very hard to get out of it once you're there.
2. In line with the above, do not spend much time on the boards. Research, and vent if needs be, then get out asap. It's very easy to keep reading about this stuff, but it's like pouring salt into a wound. Many of the people online are well-intentioned but will not ultimately help you out of this. Even 'venting' is of dubious worth, in my opinion.
3. Be open about hair loss and how it bothers you (with close allies). When hair loss hits you hard, it's very tempting to think that even mentioning it is a sign of weakness. I discovered that sensitivity and weakness are two very different things. It's actually a sign of strength to talk about this stuff occasionally, and you can often get much better insights than you would through posting a question on a hair loss board. Don't go moping around to everyone, but if a close friend asks you about it - try being honest and see what happens.
4. Don't feel bad for compensating. For some reason I used to see trying to make money or put on muscle as a loser's game for hair loss. It isn't really. You have to control what you have, and there is no shame at all in making the most of what you can change.
5. Learn to let the 'old you' go. This was the hardest one for me. With hair loss, for many of us there really is no going back. You may never be the cheeky chappy with girls going after you like you were at 18, but you have to deal with that. Life can be good, it can even be better than before if you make the right changes - but you have to let the past go first.
6. Accept that life is unfair. Yes, you will now have to work harder than NW1s in life - there is no avoiding that. You can either b**ch about how unfair that is, or spend that time and energy actually putting in that effort to get to where you need to be.
7. Enjoy it while you can. It's now obvious to me that life - and particularly youth - is really, really fleeting. Many of you won't look back in 30 years and curse the way your hair was, but curse the fact that you spent so much time and effort slowing down the decline while you missed out on having fun.
It's important to live the life you have, not to mourn the one you don't.
Peace out folks,
Boondock