Going bald? Use it to your advantage

[BenVegas01]

When i started to go bald i hated it. I was terrified of it really. I was a good looking guy in my mid 20's and then when i shaved my head thought that was it for girls - i found myself so unattractive. Im skinny, and white too. I spent a year doing everything i could to change it. Got major sides from propecia, no results from minoxidil, and tried lots of other treatments - nothing worked. I spent a year of my life in despair.

Then a few things happened. I realised that the hairloss thing is about victomness. We blame hairloss, not being attractive, on the hair. But really, i already had low self worth, and was blaming the hairloss to stop me taking responsibility for my Life.

Life doesn't work out how we want it. Most people will go through alot of suffering in their lives as they resist what is happening to them. So what do we really want? Happyness. Do people with hair all have happyness? No. Do some people who are bald have happyness? Yes. Ok - theres something really wrong here.

I saw that its not what happens in life, but your reaction/ attitude towards it. Being a man is about taking responsbility for yourself, and looking after others. Ie: Not being a selfish / immature person. What woman would want a immature man anyway? I was a very immature person, not able to 'float the boat' not able to have real self confidence. I blamed the hair but it had been there since i was young - that feeling of not being good enough.

Valuing yourself for your looks or hair is a losing game guys. Its a surefire way to hell.

So i started to like myself without hair. I accepted it and stoped being a victom. if your a victom of hairloss - chances are you'll be a victom about most things. Its a hopeless situation because your whole life is fucked because of something out of your control. Take the control back, own your life fully - however hard that is. Suffering is in your own reaction to life, that you can change, that you can control. Its just programming, you have to be able to go beyond what your mind is telling you at the moment. Its easy if you want to stop suffering - but impossible if you beleive your own bullshit.

My life now is the best its been and i am going out with an amazing looking girl, probably the most gorgeous girl i've ever been out with. More than that she is open kind and a tells me the truth. Yes she would like it if i could grow back my hair, but there are SO many other things she are interested in that the hair almost a non event for her. In fact, she gets really wild during sex with me and my shaved head. I think i look more masculine.

Seriously guys, if your confident, you like yourself, your fun to be with, and your a real male who can take control - you will have a great life with lots of woman in it.

f*** the hairloss thing, life is short - Live now - don't become a victom. Victoms live terrible lives.

 

[2020]

all right then.... we get it. Let's close this forum down boys!

 

[BenVegas01]

I know most people won't agree - thats ok. Being a man and taking full responsbility for how you feel and your life is actually alot of work.

I also know most people here are suffereing - some badly... and thinking thats the only thing they can do is grow hair back. Im giving a different option going on my own experience.

 

[fodandahalf]

I know most people won't agree - thats ok. Being a man and taking full responsbility for how you feel and your life is actually alot of work.

I also know most people here are suffereing - some badly... and thinking thats the only thing they can do is grow hair back. Im giving a different option going on my own experience.

If you've managed it then great, but for most people, that would just be tolerating something they can't stand, instead of truly accepting it. If it's possible to change, as long as it's not taking over your life, then why live with it?

 

[BenVegas01]

I know most people won't agree - thats ok. Being a man and taking full responsbility for how you feel and your life is actually alot of work.

I also know most people here are suffereing - some badly... and thinking thats the only thing they can do is grow hair back. Im giving a different option going on my own experience.

If you've managed it then great, but for most people, that would just be tolerating something they can't stand, instead of truly accepting it. If it's possible to change, as long as it's not taking over your life, then why live with it?

What i am proposing is the way of the warrier. To go whereever their is fear and show up there. Make the worst that can happen ok, and you can't be defeated. Whereever there is fear, non acceptance, you can be hurt.

So if you put your self worth on you looks, every time somebody makes a comment or a girl rejects you based on it your going to suffer. Its not a smart way to live - not saying making the change is easy though.

 

[antman]

What woman would want a immature man anyway?

plenty of hot chicks

Valuing yourself for your looks or hair is a losing game guys. Its a surefire way to hell.

My life now is the best its been and i am going out with an amazing looking girl, probably the most gorgeous girl i've ever been out with

so don't value yourself for your looks but value others for their looks?

edit - the first thing u mention about the female you are with is her looks because you know that's what people make their first judgement about someone else. It doesn't matter the context which you communicate that information. wether its to your parents, friends or a 'where to buy the best pants forum' its the first thing you'll say/write because you know that's how human's are.

 

[BenVegas01]

Our society values men for their power and confidence, and woman for their looks and beauty.

Its actually a very sad thing - one that is in the way of happyness. Im not immune to this. i was putting forward that example to show that a bald skinny guy can still attract attractive woman. This came as a surprise to me - but shows the other things in play.

Its true too that if you value girls only for their looks, you objectify woman and you'll never be happy either.

 

[slipy]

what id like to know how could baldness be used to one's advantage as implied in the title. :/ to scare folks away?

 

[antman]

what id like to know how could baldness be used to one's advantage as implied in the title. :/ to scare folks away?

people who have life too easy lack resilience and character

not letting hair loss get to you builds both of these which are assoiated with strong masculine traits; making you a supa sexy alpha male unk:

 

[slipy]

what id like to know how could baldness be used to one's advantage as implied in the title. :/ to scare folks away?

people who have life too easy lack resilience and character

not letting hair loss get to you builds both of these which are assoiated with strong masculine traits; making you a supa sexy alpha male unk:

i agree with everything except for that part.

 

[Beingbaldsucks]

It's all insiprational bullshit to make us feel better about our uglyness, truth hurts, you don't like admitting it it's your problem

 

[s.a.f]

Oh yeah its his 'problem' that he's got a hot G/F and is enjoying his life.

 

[Captain Obvious]

I like to give a lot of the guys here more credit than the OP. I think most of us have the balls to carry on with life in most aspects. I mean, hairloss isn't really stopping any of us from working, having a home, traveling, taking care of our things, is it?

It's more in the personal relationship category that things tend to suffer.

 

[uncomfortable man]

What Norwood is OP? And he never elaborated on how to make baldness an advantage... like bald guys have the advantage of not getting their hair pulled in a fight or having that certain edge when applying for a spot on the blu man group.

 

[BenVegas01]

I was lucky to meet somebody who could teach me about how much of a victom i was. I realised that alot of the problem was what i was thinking about myself. We have much more control over our mind and reactions than i realised.

He also taught me to do the things i feared and before going into whatever casued me fear to make the worst that could happen ok. If you let fear rule you don't live - fear does. Im not totally over it - alot of my identity was based on my looks. But im starting to get out of the swamp and theres lots of blue sky when you do.

Funny thing i also heard the same thing from Neil Strauss the bald pick up artist. He said he did whatever he feared to get over the fear. Public speaking, picking up girls etc. Hes not an attractive guy, is short etc.

You can make this about your own personal development, about developing courage, assertivness, confidence, heart and compassion for others etc. For me its about being less selfish, because worrying about how you look and being self obsessed is suffering. Life is great bald or not.

 

[seb]

"Life is great,bald or not".Another poster who doesnt need too be here.

 

[uncomfortable man]

Yes, last summer I was held in a POW camp being relentlessly tourtured every day getting bamboo shoved up my ***. One night while I was crying, the prisoner in the cell next to me (who later turned out to be Morgan Freeman) help me to realize that all of this wasn't really happening and I was just a prisoner of my own mind.

 

[Michael84]

Don't try to change something unchangeable. What works for someone, won't work for somebody else. There will always be people who are on the very bottom and suffer, like Uncomfortable Man or that guy with a couple of hair transplant.
You could forget all this sh*t, others can't and possibly will always be anxious about that for all their life. That's it.

 

[Primo]

Yes, last summer I was held in a POW camp being relentlessly tourtured every day getting bamboo shoved up my ***.

Fantastic analogy with male pattern baldness there, I'm taking that for my signature :woot:

 

[Beingbaldsucks]

"Life is great,bald or not".Another poster who doesnt need too be here.

Hes lying to himself, off course he knows life are sh*t for him, he just can't handle the unfair truth