Getting Involved In A New Relationship

[TEG]

Ok, i met this woman on a dating app. She is beautiful and has a great outlook on life. Here is what she said about my pic:
your cute, and have GREAT hair

I was afraid of that.

I suppose there are some of you that have been in this situation, did you just come out and tell the other you wear? or just wait?

of course, this is only in the beginning stages and could lead to nowhere, but the mutual attraction is strong.

 

[Fanjeera]

Try it out and let me know! I am very afraid of female reaction as well.

 

[Noah]

Personally I wouldn't mention it. When you have never even met, getting a foot in the door is everything, and the photo and the profile are all she has to go on, so keep it simple. Once she has got to know you and likes you, the fact you use a harmless artifice to preserve your looks will be a lot less of an issue.

Test it this way, what would you feel if she suddenly announced that she has veneers or a nose job? Too much information. Women want the handsome prince, at least for a while. The reliable boyfriend/husband with the charming little quirks comes later.

 

[TEG]

Personally I wouldn't mention it. When you have never even met, getting a foot in the door is everything, and the photo and the profile are all she has to go on, so keep it simple. Once she has got to know you and likes you, the fact you use a harmless artifice to preserve your looks will be a lot less of an issue.

Test it this way, what would you feel if she suddenly announced that she has veneers or a nose job? Too much information. Women want the handsome prince, at least for a while. The reliable boyfriend/husband with the charming little quirks comes later.

Thanks Noah. This is great advice. I am not going to say anything now. Also, it is almost impossible for us to meet until at least the middle of september, for she is on a work overseas assignment until then. Perhaps she will grow to like me not just for my looks, which is what it is now, but also my personality, etc..

also, unrelated though, my dating profile pic is a couple years old, but it is really the only pic i like of myself. I thought I better send her a pic of myself as I look today. So I did, just taken this morning and full length. After i sent it i put my phone upside down and away from me, as though it was going to self destruct or something...turns out i think she likes this pic even better than my other one! She thanked me and said I look gorgeous. Sent me a bunch of cute emoji's of hearts and stuff and wanted to know when am i free to chat, why not right now,etc... so i will just see how it goes.

 

[Noah]

Sounds like you're into something good

 

[BaldBearded]

I don't have advice about women, but with men... once you are headed for the bedroom (or whatever room you decide to have sex in) you really need to give them your T.

I had my system ripped off by someone... it was a bit embarrassing at first...

The reactions have all been; "wow, really, cool", and that was the end of it... maybe it's a guy thing.

My belief it's not something you need to be ashamed of.

 

[Noah]

I think that must be a guy thing. It sounds like considerably more violence than most men are looking for in bed, unless they are into S+M LOL.

Aside from the embarrassment, if someone ripped my hairpiece off it would likely tear the piece and/or take some skin off. I wouldn't be up for that. I would have put a stop to it before it got to that point. Even if you are open about wearing (which I am not), you don't really want all the glue and tape and lace exposed to view in the middle of an intimate encounter. That stuff doesn't add anything to the romance.

 

[BaldBearded]

I think that must be a guy thing. It sounds like considerably more violence than most men are looking for in bed, unless they are into S+M LOL.

Aside from the embarrassment, if someone ripped my hairpiece off it would likely tear the piece and/or take some skin off. I wouldn't be up for that. I would have put a stop to it before it got to that point. Even if you are open about wearing (which I am not), you don't really want all the glue and tape and lace exposed to view in the middle of an intimate encounter. That stuff doesn't add anything to the romance.

Not getting into specifics, I wrote about it before...

If someone touches your system, during sex, they will potentially find the seam. It's always better to warn someone first.

 

[new2this]

I've told 3-4 girls ive been romantically involved with about it. None of them cared. Also a few of the girls I've matched with on a dating app I have also told. None have cared. I realized its better to be chill about it and treat it as a simple cosmetic thing, matter-of-factly, than conceal it as this big secret. When its a big deal to you, its a big deal to someone else. Also the girls im talking about are in their early 20s, so probably the least accepting age group. Just my two cents... I say tell, but be cute about it. Be funny about it. Dont make it this big dark secret.

Side note: I was hooking up with a girl last weekend and my system was not fully attached in the back. She felt it (doesn't know about it) and was like "what is in your hair? see, feel this" *touched it*. I told her it was product build up, she was like "oh okay", and then we kept going. Probs could be ripped off in that situation but its also not as hard to hide as you think. Nobody is suspecting it to be a hair system.

 

[Hair2019]

As a guy with a longer haired system, I've realised this has several advantages as 1) the length of my hair covers the edges of my system, making them less detectable than with short hair, and 2) I can also tie my hair back in a ponytail and this locks the hair system in place over the edges at the back and sides so that they can't be felt or seen, and 3) because my hair system is fairly thick/dense and I use a spray in conditioner, it feels quite soft to the touch and you can't really detect the lace by casual touch in my opinion (this might be more of an issue for guys with shorter hair, perhaps).

All this helps gets round any potential problems with women detecting the system when getting intimate - I would simply tell them I'm tying it back so that it doesn't get in the way in the bedroom. Of course there's always the slight chance they might detect the edges at the hairline if they try running their fingers through my hair, but I don't totally expose my hairline (I semi expose it by combing the hair into a central parting). I could just spray it down at the hairline to get round this. But it isn't a major issue I don't think.

I personally wouldn't tell anyone, especially not in the early stages and if you're only hooking up or casually dating, however people will no doubt have differing views on this. But for me, I don't want anyone I know in real life to know I wear a system. That might change if I ever got into a really serious, long-term relationship, who knows, but even then I'd still be wary of making it known. I'd definitely rather someone get to know me and fall in love/deep attraction with ME first.

 

[Stubble]

I've told 3-4 girls ive been romantically involved with about it. None of them cared. Also a few of the girls I've matched with on a dating app I have also told. None have cared. I realized its better to be chill about it and treat it as a simple cosmetic thing, matter-of-factly, than conceal it as this big secret. When its a big deal to you, its a big deal to someone else. Also the girls im talking about are in their early 20s, so probably the least accepting age group. Just my two cents... I say tell, but be cute about it. Be funny about it. Dont make it this big dark secret.

Side note: I was hooking up with a girl last weekend and my system was not fully attached in the back. She felt it (doesn't know about it) and was like "what is in your hair? see, feel this" *touched it*. I told her it was product build up, she was like "oh okay", and then we kept going. Probs could be ripped off in that situation but its also not as hard to hide as you think. Nobody is suspecting it to be a hair system.

I'm 21 and living in a house with 5 friends next year at university, so I'm definitely going to have to 'fess up early on about how I'm wearing one. Don't want to have to think of excuses about why I'm spending long sessions in the bathroom each weekend, just going to be open about it. This sort of gives me hope about how people will react to my situation. Cheers!

 

[George Hen]

Ok, i met this woman on a dating app. She is beautiful and has a great outlook on life. Here is what she said about my pic:
your cute, and have GREAT hair

I was afraid of that.

I suppose there are some of you that have been in this situation, did you just come out and tell the other you wear? or just wait?

of course, this is only in the beginning stages and could lead to nowhere, but the mutual attraction is strong.

Wearing hair systems dramatically changed my romantic life for the better - the attention and promiscuity frankly went beyond anything I could’ve ever imagined.

The bedroom is often the first place I realise a girl knows I’m wearing a system because they will hardly touch my hair if at all. There were even times when a girl would grab it as if it was my real hair and still say nothing. What did surprise me in the beginning was realising they knew when we’d been intimate yet it was never mentioned before or after that.

I had a few instances where a girl touched my system and asked what was going on - one even jokingly asked if I was wearing a wig. I always blame it on product and say I dislike my hair being touched. In all honesty I’m sure they immediately know what’s going on but luckily they were also sensitive to my privacy.

The resounding lessons I’ve learned about this (being intimate and wearing a system) is that the majority of girls don’t care at all. If they like you they like you and it becomes a superficial detail in their eyes or, in my case, something they’ve been able to look past.

Noah’s advice is sound;
I would never announce that I wear a system initially because it would because the main focus in many ways. Once you establish a connection with someone the fact that you wear a system becomes a very minor issue.

Girls are sympathetic in my opinion too, especially given all of the effort they feel they have to go to in order to look beautiful in the eyes of society.
From my experience the reality is that girls care more about the way you look than whether or not you wear a hair system. In many ways I honestly think it’s that black and white.

This subject alone and my experience with it have killed the stigma of wearing a hair system completely for me.

 

[ChromeyFirefox]

You can get around this though.

I get mine off, spray some C22 onto my scalp (which is bad), and then wash it out 20 mins later.


I then get a cap on while I wait for the C22 to break down the residue on the poly, while I roll the adhesive and cotton wool off the lace. I wash it with shampoo eventually and dry it out. Retape it and it takes maybe 10 mins to get it all attached.


I could squash it down to less time but this is fine for me. And I just wear a cap around my wife for a while.

It could be alot less time if I just swapped with a spare, but again this is fine for me for now.

 

[Fanjeera]

Of course there's always the slight chance they might detect the edges at the hairline if they try running their fingers through my hair, but I don't totally expose my hairline (I semi expose it by combing the hair into a central parting). I could just spray it down at the hairline to get round this. But it isn't a major issue I don't think.

I just move my hair forward during sex. Then it's quite impossible to move the hands through the hair and feel the hairline.

 

[deg_dilemma]

Interesting that if you try a UTS system (and especially if it is freshly bonded) then it is almost impossible for someone to feel the edge if they run their fingers through your hair.

Even better is if your fully bond the UTS. Then, no matter how hard someone pulls your hair, it's very unlikely that the system will come off. And it won't pull off your scalp in sections either i.e. no loose feeling when pulled.

Personally I am more concerned about the look of the hairline than if someone was to feel my hair. It feels completely real, but the look of the hairline is the hardest part to get around.

 

[Mystery411]

Lots of great advice here. I’ve hooked up with quite a few women while rocking a unit via tinder/bumble. I never told any of them, except one, because we were getting serious So, I jokingly told her - I think I said “oh I can go months without a full haircut. I have a man-weave.” When I explained it, she didn’t give af. So, it’s all good man. As for casual sex, I just put a bunch of hairspray on. Trust me...it’s a great deterrent from unwanted touching lol. Good luck!

 

[Braf]

These answers above I relate to.

 

[Lurker85]

I don't use a system, but only do use concealers. Most dermmatch with a few fibers to help it blend.

While in my dating phase I've always just told girls that I didn't like my hair to be touched because it frizzles and curles easily so I wear product. When I entered a commited relationship I told her that I had hair issues and used products to hide it.

9 months into the relationship I finally gave the full truth, but by then it didn't matter because we were established. I compared it to a woman wearing makeup to look better.

Now we are at 2 years and 7 months and only put concealers on when we are going out, it is too much of a hassle to wear them 24/7. I compared it to her wearing makeup 24/7. It has never been an issue.

For casual dating it is none of their business. Once committed, I'd suggest revealing it just because it makes life easier and shouldn't matter at that point.

 

[Fanjeera]

Lots of great advice here. I’ve hooked up with quite a few women while rocking a unit via tinder/bumble. I never told any of them, except one, because we were getting serious So, I jokingly told her - I think I said “oh I can go months without a full haircut. I have a man-weave.” When I explained it, she didn’t give af. So, it’s all good man. As for casual sex, I just put a bunch of hairspray on. Trust me...it’s a great deterrent from unwanted touching lol. Good luck!

These contain alcohol and dry, damage the hair, don't they? Also, I've noticed it draws lot of attention to the hair. Maybe not hands, but eyes.

 

[Mystery411]

These contain alcohol and dry, damage the hair, don't they? Also, I've noticed it draws lot of attention to the hair. Maybe not hands, but eyes.

I use alcohol-free Pantene 3 hold. It’s great!