- Reaction score
- 1,199
a little better?
Growing up i was red pilled early. I went to parties as a 16 and 18 year old and couldn't understand how my friends (who were tall and good looking) could get girls so easily despite being awkward and having no "game".
After spending time online i realized that looks were super important for attracting girls. This made me depressed because i knew i wasn't naturally attractive. I'm 5'6.5, pale, naturally dark cirlces under eyes and average facial features + receding hair.
For the last 5-6 years of my life i have going to extreme lengths to compensate for my looks. From exercise, to obsessive eating, to skin routines to fasting etc etc.
I have noticed such a huge difference in the way people and women treat me when i'm looking good (tanned low body fat etc). Despite this, and despite the fact that this had lead me to having some ok success with women i constantly feel like a fraud. Deep down i always feel like that ugly short guy. Moreover, as soon as i stop caring with my routines i go back to looking ugly and get treated differently. This makes me sad and obsessive. Sometimes i just want to end it
I think, if only i was above average height, normal skin, normal looking guy, normal hairline I could just work, eat what i wanted and not cared so much about my appearance. I have friends like this who i envy.
Such is life for the genetically inferior i suppose. I suppose too i'm lucky and fortunate i have no diseases, and wasn't born with disabilities, not poor etc. But this doesn't stop the thoughts and feelings.
Anyone else experienced something like this?
Growing up i was red pilled early. I went to parties as a 16 and 18 year old and couldn't understand how my friends (who were tall and good looking) could get girls so easily despite being awkward and having no "game".
After spending time online i realized that looks were super important for attracting girls. This made me depressed because i knew i wasn't naturally attractive. I'm 5'6.5, pale, naturally dark cirlces under eyes and average facial features + receding hair.
For the last 5-6 years of my life i have going to extreme lengths to compensate for my looks. From exercise, to obsessive eating, to skin routines to fasting etc etc.
I have noticed such a huge difference in the way people and women treat me when i'm looking good (tanned low body fat etc). Despite this, and despite the fact that this had lead me to having some ok success with women i constantly feel like a fraud. Deep down i always feel like that ugly short guy. Moreover, as soon as i stop caring with my routines i go back to looking ugly and get treated differently. This makes me sad and obsessive. Sometimes i just want to end it
I think, if only i was above average height, normal skin, normal looking guy, normal hairline I could just work, eat what i wanted and not cared so much about my appearance. I have friends like this who i envy.
Such is life for the genetically inferior i suppose. I suppose too i'm lucky and fortunate i have no diseases, and wasn't born with disabilities, not poor etc. But this doesn't stop the thoughts and feelings.
Anyone else experienced something like this?