I guess my tone could be friendlier but this is hardly an aggressive argument (if that's what you mean), maybe sarcastic but I'm hardly being outright rude. I'll tone that down if even that is confrontational in your book.
So if I am a bit defensive about your ideals it's because I think it's truly terrible advice that is actually harmful to anyone using it, I understand self-deprecation and like most people it can be a part of my humour eg mocking my own sh*t joke, acting dumb, joking about having a small penis, sarcastically talking about how I pump iron for serious gainz (I go to the gym), I'm a bitcoin Wall Street trader, etc.
These things are all fine because I don't care if anyone jokes about it. My hair? No, that's not acceptable, and barely anyone can say they're truly fine with it (unless kidding themselves).
Being self-deprecating about your baldness is saying to others that this is
okay to joke about it, it's acceptable. So what happens? They do, more and more, because you're telling them that it's OK to make fun of something that people have no control over.
And again, you still haven't clarified you actually do make "come backs" such as your examples given.
Of course having witty comebacks is respected by people, but baldness is just impossible to create anything good that makes the other person feel stupid for getting involved with. At best you can make a cheesy gag about your hairline running away from them, it isn't funny and will just confuse them, and others, it might get you out of the situation once or a few times at best.
But for every 1 poor joke you make, they have a thousand, because baldness is just an infinite gift of potential mocking, like being short, or fat. They can compare you to so many characters and even inanimate objects, it's really so easy, and if you give out that signal that "I've won this round with my sh*t joke" they'll not only feel justified that it's
okay to joke about that with you, they'll soon be doing it again, and again, and again, because you opened the floodgates, and they have an arsenal of insults to get you with later. While you pretty much have nothing, or nothing
good at least.
I think everyone can relate to this situation- some baldite you know that makes constant self-deprecating bald jokes and creates an environment because he's "OK" with joking about it, everyone should be OK with it. It practically throws anyone with hair issues under the bus, because you don't feel it's acceptable to joke about, and don't want anyone else to feel like that. One guy I'm thinking about in particular is sly bald and only about 27, someone revealed to me just recently that he was depressed about his weight and also his hair, which is why he was off for 5 whole months! This is the same guy who insisted throwing us baldites under the bus every single lunch time by saying things like "the shine of my head putting you off your dinner?! HAAAaaa" and welcoming more and more abuse, but covering it up with the facade that he's so strong and secure about his hair loss.
But anyway another reason I'm defensive about your response is because I'm not necessarily saying you just stand there staring at your feet, but behave with a bit of class and change the subject. Likelihood is that people don't appreciate someone making fun of you (and if they do, you need new friends) it's only acceptable if you decide for it to be acceptable.
Any sign of retaliation will be seen as frustrated bald guy. And I guarantee you the delivery of your joke will not be convincing, because if you're in any way human they'll be able to sense the sadness in getting bald shamed.
Go to 30:40
From this thread, and I make a further dissection of this situation in the 2nd post:
https://www.hairlosstalk.com/intera...loss-sufferer-on-live-tv.104540/#post-1460305
I still stand by the idea that it's virtually "impossible" to say anything (and you still haven't said you've actually done so in real life and how that went, but you're happy for
others to try it and advise them it's great) and changing the subject or moving on is the best option, or the least worst option really.
If anyone is taking the awful advice in this thread, and starting a new job or college etc anything with a new group of people, you will greatly regret trying to be self-deprecating about it because you open up a situation where other people can continually make fun of you because they think it's acceptable. It's just unfortunate that we have to have a barrier up about ourselves, but that's reality, and if it's just one flaw that you have, people can still forgive your personality in other ways (they'll always think your bald embarrassment is over the top and dramatic etc. but if you're relatively normal in other ways they'll overlook it).
