Can Unattractive Guys Have A Healthy Social Life?

[Baldingat188]

at first glance, having friends should have nothing to do with your appearance but in my opinion your social life is drastically impacted by your appearance espically when you are young. I am not talking about relationships here , just simple platonic friends.

If you look around almost every loner is unattractive themselves. It's like they have a sticker on their face saying "stay away". Even the most introverted people could probly enjoy having a few friends - yet not everyone has that. When unattractive people do have a lot of freinds or are relatively popular it is usually because of 1 of 2 things. 1- they are funny . 2- they are exceptional in some other way. But has anyone else noticed how dry most unattractive guys social lives are?

Can anyone prove me wrong on this? It's been really getting to me latley not having any friends. I hate to blame it on genetics and sound like I'm making excuses but most of the time when I meet people they aren't even interested in being friends with me.

 

[CopeForLife]

inb4 a lot of cope

 

[BaldyBalderBald]

inb4 a lot of cope

Lol dude

True friends are rare IMO, being popular is useless for this cause most of your so-called "friends" will not care if you're in trouble or having a rough time, and will laugh at your face when you will start balding for example.
And with actual true friends, i don't think you're attractiveness matters.

It will definetly impact work relations, global social life, and girls pool date.

Having a lot of friends should not be a major concern.

 

[Baldingat188]

Lol dude

True friends are rare IMO, being popular is useless for this cause most of your so-called "friends" will not care if you're in trouble or having a rough time, and will laugh at your face when you will start balding for example.
And with actual true friends, i don't think you're attractiveness matters.

It will definetly impact work relations, global social life, and girls pool date.

Having a lot of friends should not be a major concern.

Well I know I will never be the popular guy but latley I've been living my life in complete isolation. The only people I talk to are family and I'm starting to go a bit crazy.

 

[BaldyBalderBald]

Well I know I will never be the popular guy but latley I've been living my life in complete isolation. The only people I talk to are family and I'm starting to go a bit crazy.

This has to do with your isolation i think, you need to go out and i agree meeting people can be quite difficult at a certain age
Studies and work still the best place

 

[Baldingat188]

This has to do with your isolation i think, you need to go out and i agree meeting people can be quite difficult at a certain age
Studies and work still the best place

Agree but no one will hire me lol

 

[Stanx22]

You can have true friends, good social life and be popular or famous if you're unattractive. However, i think it'd be over when it comes to relationships and women.

 

[UncleMort]

Oh , HELL yes.

In fact, the overwhelming majority of men are considered "unattractive" by hypergamous females.

You can even make the case that most of our presidents are not "attractive" outside their power base.

Kennedy, trump (when he was younger), and clinton (when he turned silver gray) were attractive but thats about it.

They had the conversational skills to become the most powerful men in the world.

 

[spring15]

I think the majority of people find it hard to make new friends, well ones where they become a genuine part of your life.

We have a lot of acquaintances however. Seldom you might meet someone who you really connect with & form a companionship.

 

[CopeForLife]

you can't have good looking friend though

 

[CaptainForehead]

Agree but no one will hire me lol

Why not? What jobs are you applying to? How old are you?

Being unemployed and lonely is a dangerous place to be.

 

[Exodus2011]

First theory:
Depends on the guy... If a guy is dumb and unaware of the potential downsides to being ugly, he will then in his blissful ignorance be at peace. Getting drunk with the lads chanting football songs like an idiot. Somehow he might even attract women with his un-stressed vibe. not a cope.

however in the intelligent there can be hypersensitivey to any single disturbance to perfection, and he may resultantly 'implode' with stress, and refuse to express any part of themselves. The fear and stress of cosmetically degrading, creates a downward spiral where they hate themselves into total lack of self esteem which repulses people. It's not the ugliness. People want to be around others for selfish reasons like entertainment and fun.

ugly f****r makin jokes and acting the imbecile can be fun to be around. and with time people naturally develop kinsmanship and a sense of being bound to "whole groups" without anybody being left out, (although they may not respect an individual they won't excommunicate them for it.)

i'd go so far as to say people can PREFER to be around ugly fun people, because they won't feel insecure. also it actually does seem like ugly and mediocre looking people are better company as they tend to not be so involved in ego games and the rat race.

 

[Stanx22]

you can't have good looking friend though

I disagree. Chads love to have subhumans as friends so they can mog them everytime they go out. The subhumans add a halo to the chad and give him more attention.

 

[Saurabhaj]

Cute pics <3

 

[Stanx22]

View attachment 69094 View attachment 69095


Cute pics <3

Disgusting.

 

[BaldyBalderBald]

I think OP, you're right overall. It is a sense of reality I have witnessed. I've seen "uncool" guys get just ignored pretty much by attractive guys or girls. There are boundaries and people in certain groups lead a completely different life. As you also mentioned, unattractive people in these circles do exist but are the exception: it could be due to innate charisma, tons of money, powerful contacts. Even then, they won't be viewed like the rest of the group as attraction is a different kind of power. Bullying rarely if ever happens to people with looks. Hierarchy can't truly be changed at all.

I'd say it's not all about giving up though. At the most, a person has a right to demand self respect and not be a "loser." Cover basics (even with a bald head) and get big. Regardless of facial aesthetics, height, body frame it will translate to being viewed as more dominant and manly. Not necessarily more attractive, but not joked about as much directly or behind your back. Who knows, maybe more attractive to certain types of girls and how well you pull it off. Dress cool always, become more tough mentally, body language wise - some stuff can be learnt to an extent. I've noticed guys avoid being bullied just for being "street" looking and behaving in a such a manner - despite their looks. They can still dress smart but have shown that "rough side" in their behaviour. More "doors" will open socially at least to an extent.

Prime bully target
View attachment 69118

 

[Baldingat188]

Why not? What jobs are you applying to? How old are you?

Being unemployed and lonely is a dangerous place to be.

I'm 19 . Been applying anywhere really , preferably somewhere I can wear a hat and don't have to interact much with people. I don't think I could accept a job without a hat.

Yea I think not working in addition to social isolation is contributing to me feeling like this.

 

[Baldingat188]

I think one of the most important things that a job gives you is a routine, a schedule to respect. And of course, it would also automatically solve your social isolation problem.

As for your demands, you're being too demanding, in Europe, unless the hat was part of some uniform, you'd never be allowed to wear it.

You should first get over your fear of going out without a hat before you attempt anything that's harder than that for you.

You need to remain realistic, if you can't even go to the bakery without a hat on, you'll never be able to function properly in any job.

I've had jobs before , but jobs I could wear a hat at. I have only been unemployed for about a month or so but it's just getting to me. Honestly I don't think I could do a job without a hat - I couldn't focus. I have OCD about my hair so I'd be checking it in the mirror every 2 minutes and probly wouldn't be a good worker. Worst part is I don't even want to fix my OCD about hair loss because I know if I am bald my life is literally over. I don't mean to sound like I'm being whiny but I truly believe I am one of the worst people in the world for hairloss to happen to. I will go from a 5 or 6 out 10 to a 1 or 2 and that's not even an exaggeration... just lol. If you don't believe me ask someone else who had seen my picture.

Luckily in America pretty much all blue collar jobs you can wear a hat so I'm looking at that. Also most restaurants allow hats. I just need to stay away from grocery stores and white collar work. I have not left the house without a hat in 6 months and my hair isn't even THAT bad yet. Once I'm fully bald I will have a hard time not putting a gun to my head.

 

[Exodus2011]

Disgusting.

Better pic

 

[Baldingat188]

You do bring up a good point , getting jacked and having a tougher vibe could help. Problem is I am basically the opposite of that. I'm not feminine neccesiarly but I'm not alpha at all. Possibly I could look decent in my 40s if I could pull of the artistic hipster vibe. Muscular , tattoos , big glasses , fancy watches. None the less - a lot of effort to look decent. And that would only work in my 40s . 20 year old doing that looks goofy. My baby face and big head really ruin it for me.