BP
- Thread starter Cassin
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Aplunk1
Senior Member
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Massive Flow Of Bullshit Continues To Gush From BP Headquarters
from: http://www.theonion.com/articles/massiv ... -bp,17564/
LONDON—As the crisis in the Gulf of Mexico entered its eighth week Wednesday, fears continued to grow that the massive flow of bullshit still gushing from the headquarters of oil giant BP could prove catastrophic if nothing is done to contain it.
The toxic bullshit, which began to spew from the mouths of BP executives shortly after the explosion of the Deepwater Horizon oil rig in April, has completely devastated the Gulf region, delaying cleanup efforts, affecting thousands of jobs, and endangering the lives of all nearby wildlife.
"Everything we can see at the moment suggests that the overall environmental impact of this will be very, very modest," said BP CEO Tony Hayward, letting loose a colossal stream of undiluted bullshit. "The Gulf of Mexico is a very big ocean, and the volume of oil we are putting into it is tiny in relation to the total volume of water."
According to sources, the sheer quantity of bullshit pouring out of Hayward is unprecedented, and it has thoroughly drenched the coastlines of Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida, with no end in sight.
Though no one knows exactly how much of the dangerous bullshit is currently gushing from BP headquarters, estimates put the number at somewhere between 25,000 and 70,000 words a day.
"We're looking at a truly staggering load of sh*t here," said Rebecca Palmer, an environmental scientist at the University of Georgia, who claimed that only BP has the ability to stem the flow of bullshit and plug it at its source. "And this is just the beginning—we're only seeing the surface-level bullshit. It could be years before we sift through it all and figure out just how deep this bullshit goes."
Congressional hearings aimed at stopping the bullshit have thus far failed to do so, with officials from BP and its contractors Halliburton and Transocean only adding to the powerful torrents of bullshit by blaming one another for the accident.
Along with the region's wildlife and fragile ecosystem, countless livelihoods have been jeopardized by BP's unchecked flow of corporate sh*t. Those who depend on fishing or tourism for their income are already feeling the noxious effects of the bullshit firsthand, as out-of-control platitudes begin to reach land and seep ashore.
"This bullshit, it's everywhere," said Louisiana fisherman Doug LaRoux, who lost his house to a tide of government bullshit following Hurricane Katrina. "It reeks. Big buckets of disgusting sh*t are oozing everywhere you look and I don't know if it's ever going to stop. I feel helpless"
Added LaRoux, "I never thought I'd be the victim of so much bullshit."
Observers have noted that after the Exxon Valdez spill in 1989, corporate bullshit gushed up like a geyser for two decades and didn't wane until the oil company had bullshit its way through an exhaustive process of court appeals that ultimately reduced payouts to victims by 90 percent.
Despite Hayward's denials that BP is at fault for the environmental disaster and his concern that it will result in "illegitimate" American lawsuits, the embattled CEO has still managed to trickle out a few last drips of bullshit sympathy for Gulf Coast residents.
"I'm as devastated as you are by this," Hayward said after a meeting with cleanup crews on Louisiana's Fourchon Beach. "We will clean every last drop up and we will remediate all of the environmental damage."
"There's no one that wants this thing over with more than I do," he added a week later, just absolutely defying belief with the thickest, most dangerous bullshit yet. "I'd like my life back."
Millions of Americans reported feeling ill and disoriented upon contact with that particularly vile plume of bullshit.
Many environmentalists, including Palmer, have called for a boycott of BP until the bullshit stops or is at least under control, but they emphasize that in the long term, Americans will have to change their habits if they wish to avoid future catastrophes.
"We must all work together if we're going to cure our nation of this addiction," Palmer said. "The sad fact is, the United States has been running on bullshit for decades."
from: http://www.theonion.com/articles/massiv ... -bp,17564/
LONDON—As the crisis in the Gulf of Mexico entered its eighth week Wednesday, fears continued to grow that the massive flow of bullshit still gushing from the headquarters of oil giant BP could prove catastrophic if nothing is done to contain it.
The toxic bullshit, which began to spew from the mouths of BP executives shortly after the explosion of the Deepwater Horizon oil rig in April, has completely devastated the Gulf region, delaying cleanup efforts, affecting thousands of jobs, and endangering the lives of all nearby wildlife.
"Everything we can see at the moment suggests that the overall environmental impact of this will be very, very modest," said BP CEO Tony Hayward, letting loose a colossal stream of undiluted bullshit. "The Gulf of Mexico is a very big ocean, and the volume of oil we are putting into it is tiny in relation to the total volume of water."
According to sources, the sheer quantity of bullshit pouring out of Hayward is unprecedented, and it has thoroughly drenched the coastlines of Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida, with no end in sight.
Though no one knows exactly how much of the dangerous bullshit is currently gushing from BP headquarters, estimates put the number at somewhere between 25,000 and 70,000 words a day.
"We're looking at a truly staggering load of sh*t here," said Rebecca Palmer, an environmental scientist at the University of Georgia, who claimed that only BP has the ability to stem the flow of bullshit and plug it at its source. "And this is just the beginning—we're only seeing the surface-level bullshit. It could be years before we sift through it all and figure out just how deep this bullshit goes."
Congressional hearings aimed at stopping the bullshit have thus far failed to do so, with officials from BP and its contractors Halliburton and Transocean only adding to the powerful torrents of bullshit by blaming one another for the accident.
Along with the region's wildlife and fragile ecosystem, countless livelihoods have been jeopardized by BP's unchecked flow of corporate sh*t. Those who depend on fishing or tourism for their income are already feeling the noxious effects of the bullshit firsthand, as out-of-control platitudes begin to reach land and seep ashore.
"This bullshit, it's everywhere," said Louisiana fisherman Doug LaRoux, who lost his house to a tide of government bullshit following Hurricane Katrina. "It reeks. Big buckets of disgusting sh*t are oozing everywhere you look and I don't know if it's ever going to stop. I feel helpless"
Added LaRoux, "I never thought I'd be the victim of so much bullshit."
Observers have noted that after the Exxon Valdez spill in 1989, corporate bullshit gushed up like a geyser for two decades and didn't wane until the oil company had bullshit its way through an exhaustive process of court appeals that ultimately reduced payouts to victims by 90 percent.
Despite Hayward's denials that BP is at fault for the environmental disaster and his concern that it will result in "illegitimate" American lawsuits, the embattled CEO has still managed to trickle out a few last drips of bullshit sympathy for Gulf Coast residents.
"I'm as devastated as you are by this," Hayward said after a meeting with cleanup crews on Louisiana's Fourchon Beach. "We will clean every last drop up and we will remediate all of the environmental damage."
"There's no one that wants this thing over with more than I do," he added a week later, just absolutely defying belief with the thickest, most dangerous bullshit yet. "I'd like my life back."
Millions of Americans reported feeling ill and disoriented upon contact with that particularly vile plume of bullshit.
Many environmentalists, including Palmer, have called for a boycott of BP until the bullshit stops or is at least under control, but they emphasize that in the long term, Americans will have to change their habits if they wish to avoid future catastrophes.
"We must all work together if we're going to cure our nation of this addiction," Palmer said. "The sad fact is, the United States has been running on bullshit for decades."
OverMachoGrande
Senior Member
- Reaction score
- 43
That's just "bullsh#t". 
:laugh:
This video got the morning off to a good start - the Obama kick *** song
http://michellemalkin.com/2010/06/10/for-kicks/
This video got the morning off to a good start - the Obama kick *** song
http://michellemalkin.com/2010/06/10/for-kicks/
captain_que
Established Member
- Reaction score
- 8
Funny thing is, the cost of a backflow-vent that would block this whole blowout cost about $200k. They don´t buy one because the US doesn´t require one, and they´re too expensive.. How much does this spill cost again... :whistle:
captain_que
Established Member
- Reaction score
- 8
Cassin said:
haha afraid so.! that´s what they get for being cheap cowboys..
Eureka
Established Member
- Reaction score
- 9
That's the way those companies operate though. Mining sites are bad as well, with plenty of safety regulations being violated. And nothing happens until disaster strikes and x amount of innocent miners are dead. The media, continually not doing it's job because no one cares about miners until they're dead starts paying attention. Then government does something about it, or quite often just pretends to.
somone uk
Experienced Member
- Reaction score
- 6
i think top hat would work if they used a bigger hat and....did it properly
when they said top hat i thought they meant like a large 30 metre radius hat that would pump up an oil and water mix which before it could make it to the surface
but they used some stupid fiddly....hat made out of folded a4
when they said top hat i thought they meant like a large 30 metre radius hat that would pump up an oil and water mix which before it could make it to the surface
but they used some stupid fiddly....hat made out of folded a4
ShedMaster
Senior Member
- Reaction score
- 5
I don't see too much into this being between the US and UK.
As usual, media on both sides of ‘The Pond’ pick out bits and pieces and try to stir things up and cause ill feeling. Then the ill feeling escalates so sides are drawn for argument, often based on conjecture. Vilification then ensues.
This is how I see it:
Do the British people have empathy for the situation? Yes. We have had tanker disasters and sea birds covered in oil and coasts ruined in the past. Before it is said not to the same degree, they have still been ecological disasters.
Is BP mostly to blame? Most probably. They seem to have done some things on the cheap. But they were allowed to and more safeguards should have been in place. So is BP totally to blame? I don’t think so. There were other companies involved and slack regulation.
Should BP pay for the disaster? Yes. If later there are other culpable bodies, they should also pay toward those areas involved.
Can BP afford it? A reserved yes. No-one knows the final cost as the disaster is not over.
Are those trying to ruin BP correct? No, because bankruptcy would make matters worse.
Should shareholders get a dividend? I think this should be held back until a reliable estimate of the full cost is known. The money can be put aside until then, whether it be 6 months or whenever. It should be remembered that there are also many shareholders in the US.
Do the British think the USA is getting at the British rather than at an independent multinational company? It’s starting to feel like it for reasons given by others and some comments below. Again, I hope the vast majority of Americans can see both sides. Again, minority views (in the media) are given totally disproportionate coverage and hence a minority viewpoint is amplified to seem to be from a majority.
Cassin, comments in italics, below are from a NY Times blog. Fortunately, they were not form the majority.
Had a US company trashed Britain's shores with millions of gallons of toxic sludge, what does anybody think is the likelihood that the British people would give even a moment's thought to looking the other way in order to protect American investors, pensioners or not?
For the British to get angry at the US over what their own incompetence has wrought is the very definition of chutzpah.
...have to admit that as a Brit I'm not sure its extremely wise to comment on this post, but here goes! It seems clear that the level of damage to both the environment and totally innocent people's livelihoods is horrendous, and those responsible should of course be made accountable. We're not sitting here in London, top hats and canes at the ready, sneering down our noses and insisting that BP shouldn't pay a penny….
… in the meantime break off diplomatic relationships with england until BP hands over ALL of its global assets to the USA government.
What British Petroleum (BP) did was disgraceful. BP declared war on the United States of America when it deliberately threw oil into our clean beloved oceans. We are Americans. As Americans we should unite and boycott BP. We should advise all our allies to boycott BP.
The British using America's resources, making a holy mess of things, then demandiing to take our tax dollars to reemburse themselves for the cleanup? Sounds awfully familiar. I thought we settled such issues about 235 years ago.
Obama must do whatever it takes to force BP to pay. The fact that a few Brits will loose money they invested in BP is of absolutely no interest to anyone. Even if it shakes the British Empire to its core no-one should care. BP made the mess on our shores (while seeking profit for the share-holders and the British Empire) and BP must pay the price.
If BP and the Brits don't want to pay what they owe we have a very good collection agency.
By the way, this "special" relationship has always been fraudulent. Permit me to bring up 1776. If a "special" relationship should exist, it should be between the USA and France whose fleet and financial aid helped us achieve our independence
I hope that the US dumps an equivalent amount of crude oil in the beaches of Britain, starting at Torquay and working to fouling the banks of the Avon, and more so, the ponds of St. James's Park in London, at the foot of both Buckingham Palace and #10 slaughtering the ducks, swans and geese who live there, and see who can screech more. And oddly enough, I can't hear poofte British screeching for some reason, anymore. They have signs there, don't feed the birds. Maybe if they were poisoned, like our fowl, there would be some sympathy. Shame, that.
You perhaps mean something like this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piper_Alpha
Don't remember any anti-US rhetoric at the time even though 167 people lost their lives and the eventual report was critical of the American owners Occidental Petroleum. What causes the bad feeling around the world is American exceptionalism rearing it's head and the apparent ignorance of what big, US based corporations get up to in other countries, as one poster highlighted above regards the Bhophal disaster and estimated 10,000 plus dead from that incident.
At this stage we all need to pull together to fix this tragedy. I am old enough to remember the Torrey Canyon 120,000 tons of crude was washed up on beautiful Cornish beaches - I remember the intense sadness and devastion but there was no hysterical ranting or xenophobic inuendo - people got on with cleaning up.
No one intends these things, There is a risk drilling oil - same as buying shares, it was an accident and leadership needs to be provided in a detached, cool, calm and ordered way. "kicking ***" probably is not the way to get the best result.
So let's not be drawn in to a 'tit for tat' situation. Let's hope the disaster can be handled properly and with the least adversity to the ecology and people's jobs etc.
This is how I see it:
Do the British people have empathy for the situation? Yes. We have had tanker disasters and sea birds covered in oil and coasts ruined in the past. Before it is said not to the same degree, they have still been ecological disasters.
Is BP mostly to blame? Most probably. They seem to have done some things on the cheap. But they were allowed to and more safeguards should have been in place. So is BP totally to blame? I don’t think so. There were other companies involved and slack regulation.
Should BP pay for the disaster? Yes. If later there are other culpable bodies, they should also pay toward those areas involved.
Can BP afford it? A reserved yes. No-one knows the final cost as the disaster is not over.
Are those trying to ruin BP correct? No, because bankruptcy would make matters worse.
Should shareholders get a dividend? I think this should be held back until a reliable estimate of the full cost is known. The money can be put aside until then, whether it be 6 months or whenever. It should be remembered that there are also many shareholders in the US.
Do the British think the USA is getting at the British rather than at an independent multinational company? It’s starting to feel like it for reasons given by others and some comments below. Again, I hope the vast majority of Americans can see both sides. Again, minority views (in the media) are given totally disproportionate coverage and hence a minority viewpoint is amplified to seem to be from a majority.
Cassin, comments in italics, below are from a NY Times blog. Fortunately, they were not form the majority.
Had a US company trashed Britain's shores with millions of gallons of toxic sludge, what does anybody think is the likelihood that the British people would give even a moment's thought to looking the other way in order to protect American investors, pensioners or not?
For the British to get angry at the US over what their own incompetence has wrought is the very definition of chutzpah.
...have to admit that as a Brit I'm not sure its extremely wise to comment on this post, but here goes! It seems clear that the level of damage to both the environment and totally innocent people's livelihoods is horrendous, and those responsible should of course be made accountable. We're not sitting here in London, top hats and canes at the ready, sneering down our noses and insisting that BP shouldn't pay a penny….
… in the meantime break off diplomatic relationships with england until BP hands over ALL of its global assets to the USA government.
What British Petroleum (BP) did was disgraceful. BP declared war on the United States of America when it deliberately threw oil into our clean beloved oceans. We are Americans. As Americans we should unite and boycott BP. We should advise all our allies to boycott BP.
The British using America's resources, making a holy mess of things, then demandiing to take our tax dollars to reemburse themselves for the cleanup? Sounds awfully familiar. I thought we settled such issues about 235 years ago.
Obama must do whatever it takes to force BP to pay. The fact that a few Brits will loose money they invested in BP is of absolutely no interest to anyone. Even if it shakes the British Empire to its core no-one should care. BP made the mess on our shores (while seeking profit for the share-holders and the British Empire) and BP must pay the price.
If BP and the Brits don't want to pay what they owe we have a very good collection agency.
By the way, this "special" relationship has always been fraudulent. Permit me to bring up 1776. If a "special" relationship should exist, it should be between the USA and France whose fleet and financial aid helped us achieve our independence
I hope that the US dumps an equivalent amount of crude oil in the beaches of Britain, starting at Torquay and working to fouling the banks of the Avon, and more so, the ponds of St. James's Park in London, at the foot of both Buckingham Palace and #10 slaughtering the ducks, swans and geese who live there, and see who can screech more. And oddly enough, I can't hear poofte British screeching for some reason, anymore. They have signs there, don't feed the birds. Maybe if they were poisoned, like our fowl, there would be some sympathy. Shame, that.
You perhaps mean something like this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Piper_Alpha
Don't remember any anti-US rhetoric at the time even though 167 people lost their lives and the eventual report was critical of the American owners Occidental Petroleum. What causes the bad feeling around the world is American exceptionalism rearing it's head and the apparent ignorance of what big, US based corporations get up to in other countries, as one poster highlighted above regards the Bhophal disaster and estimated 10,000 plus dead from that incident.
At this stage we all need to pull together to fix this tragedy. I am old enough to remember the Torrey Canyon 120,000 tons of crude was washed up on beautiful Cornish beaches - I remember the intense sadness and devastion but there was no hysterical ranting or xenophobic inuendo - people got on with cleaning up.
No one intends these things, There is a risk drilling oil - same as buying shares, it was an accident and leadership needs to be provided in a detached, cool, calm and ordered way. "kicking ***" probably is not the way to get the best result.
So let's not be drawn in to a 'tit for tat' situation. Let's hope the disaster can be handled properly and with the least adversity to the ecology and people's jobs etc.
optimus prime
Experienced Member
- Reaction score
- 11
pratc said:
What the American public don't seem to realise is that BP is one of a few companies that have the technology to get oil from such depths and getting deep sea oil is a risky process.
They are having to take these risk because of oil demand and America is the biggest oil user in the world.
If BP went bust it would have the same negative affect on the US as it would the UK. If not more.
captain_que
Established Member
- Reaction score
- 8
The problem isn´t BP, this could as well have happened to any other company operating in the gulf. If the US had safety demands brought up to a higher level, none of this would have happened..
In one way it´s too bad it didn´t happen to an American company. Then americans wouldn´t have anyone else to blame for what basically is their government´s fault..
In one way it´s too bad it didn´t happen to an American company. Then americans wouldn´t have anyone else to blame for what basically is their government´s fault..
captain_que
Established Member
- Reaction score
- 8
Cassin said:
Sorry if I hit a sore spot.. The safety standards (and equipment standards) in the Gulf are not very good and have quite a reputation for being "cowboy-land". Because of this, people in the business aren´t so surprised that a large scale accident eventually took place.. I´m not talking about "what if", I´m just pointing out what a lot of people have been talking about for years, but what it takes a huge oil spill for the general public to realize.