Another Depressing Thread About Being Depressed | Page 2 | HairLossTalk Forums
Dismiss Notice
Forum Update: Aug 19. Feedback for the Admin? Upgrade coming: Click Here.

Another Depressing Thread About Being Depressed

Discussion in 'The Impact of Hair Loss' started by Georgie, May 27, 2018.

  1. Georgie

    Georgie Senior Member My Regimen

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2017
    Messages:
    3,091
    Likes Received:
    2,690
    Dislikes Received:
    81
    My Regimen:
    My Regimen
    My Regimen
    It’s ok. It’s certainly not a pity grab, but I do appreciate the sympathy. My usual way of coping is my learning and understanding so that I feel like I at least have some control over this. There tends to come a point ever now and then when I realise that my control is nil and I’m fighting a losing battle.
     
    countjulian likes this.
  2. sunchyme1

    sunchyme1 Senior Member My Regimen

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2013
    Messages:
    5,637
    Likes Received:
    7,124
    Dislikes Received:
    275
    My Regimen:
    My Regimen
    My Regimen
    lol dont worry about this guy mate

    he barely has any hair loss himself and bitches non stop about it

    hes a moron
     
  3. Georgie

    Georgie Senior Member My Regimen

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2017
    Messages:
    3,091
    Likes Received:
    2,690
    Dislikes Received:
    81
    My Regimen:
    My Regimen
    My Regimen
    I have thought about just going somewhere where I’m quite alone and I don’t have to encounter anyone I know, but more and more I realise that it’s a combination of things that is what fucks me:
    A: Inability to accept and deal with seeing someone I don’t recognise much less like in the mirror
    B: Cnstantly seeing other young women with the things that I lack. Feeling inadequate and ashamed because of this.
    C: Remebering how I used to be, and longing to go back to when things were easier and I felt beautiful.

    See, even alone I would still have to face these things. It’s like slowly suffocating for me, this disease. Like there’s a small chance that you might gasp some air and you might not die painfully after all, but the more you go without that air, the more you realise that there’s none coming, and it’s probably too late anyway.
     
  4. Georgie

    Georgie Senior Member My Regimen

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2017
    Messages:
    3,091
    Likes Received:
    2,690
    Dislikes Received:
    81
    My Regimen:
    My Regimen
    My Regimen
    Also yesterday I was at the chemist looking for a certain supplement, and I noticed the attendants eyes constantly wander towards the top of my head briefly like she was trying to look at my bizarre hair without making it obvious. That kicked me right in the proverbial dick.
     
    hanginginthewire and blackg like this.
  5. Yakitori

    Yakitori Experienced Member My Regimen

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2018
    Messages:
    554
    Likes Received:
    166
    Dislikes Received:
    8
    My Regimen:
    My Regimen
    My Regimen
    Trick question? You don't go out.:oops:
     
  6. genetically_cursed

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2018
    Messages:
    1,000
    Likes Received:
    397
    Dislikes Received:
    263
    My Regimen:
    My Regimen
    My Regimen
    yeah, why i wouldnt be serious. women are getting more and more stuck up due to their privilege, it adds up some fairness knowing that some girls go through it as well.

    barely any hair loss aka nw2.5 and rapidly progressing? u r indeed a fuck tard forgetting that you were at this point some time ago, besides maybe you arent even nw2?

    arent you that guy, who is nw1 and isnt even balding at all?????????????????

    from few pictures i've seen on your thread it didnt look like you were so badly balding?
     
  7. Cue Bald

    Cue Bald Experienced Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2014
    Messages:
    839
    Likes Received:
    923
    Dislikes Received:
    84
    people around me used to think i was gay because i didn't hit on women that much, but now i think they all know why i don't go sleeping around much (bald). they all keep trying to hook me up with fatties. i'm just not into fat chicks (chubby is fine, i am talking about obese)
     
    countjulian, Exodus2011 and hairhat12 like this.
  8. Cowboys fan

    Cowboys fan Established Member My Regimen

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2017
    Messages:
    300
    Likes Received:
    137
    Dislikes Received:
    4
    My Regimen:
    My Regimen
    My Regimen
    Fasting one day a.week cleans out hour body
     
  9. SteveTabernack

    SteveTabernack Experienced Member My Regimen

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2016
    Messages:
    680
    Likes Received:
    1,108
    Dislikes Received:
    14
    My Regimen:
    My Regimen
    My Regimen
    You're thinking about getting an FUE while having no hair loss?

    Go live your life man.
     
    Exodus2011, Georgie and hairhat12 like this.
  10. Georgie

    Georgie Senior Member My Regimen

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2017
    Messages:
    3,091
    Likes Received:
    2,690
    Dislikes Received:
    81
    My Regimen:
    My Regimen
    My Regimen
    Do you have any diffuse hairloss or is it just slight temple recession? Or do you not have hairloss but simply worry that it will occur?
     
    blackg likes this.
  11. Georgie

    Georgie Senior Member My Regimen

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2017
    Messages:
    3,091
    Likes Received:
    2,690
    Dislikes Received:
    81
    My Regimen:
    My Regimen
    My Regimen
    Do any of you think, “I wonder how different I would be if I woke up tomorrow with all my hair and it would never fall out again”?.
    I think about it almost every day. You know what’s fucked up? I think I would always have a complex, even if it all came back and I looked 100% normal again. I think I have been so emotionally raped by this that I would never be the same again. I would always feel like I am a lesser female, always feel like there’s this foul thing that sits under my skin that I can’t wash, scratch, wish or pray away.
     
  12. Razor of Damocles

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2018
    Messages:
    51
    Likes Received:
    79
    Dislikes Received:
    0
    My Regimen:
    My Regimen
    My Regimen
    I don't think the foul feeling is really the deepest layer to you. I think in people, the layer of shitty self doubt and self blaming waxes and wanes depending on the circumstances, but that it's never at the real core. What you're dealing with now is almost definitely the worst it's been, but the good things are still there and show at times.
    Youre funny and driven, and willing to fight against unfair circumstances. Your cat picture also makes me laugh when I see it, and I think it's a good reminder of what's really you. If you're really having a hard time remembering that youre worth it, maybe working with someone to help you see past the layer of muck is a good idea.
    And to answer your original question, yeah I do a lot sometimes.
     
    M.Piep, Georgie and blackg like this.
  13. Conan4869

    Conan4869 Established Member My Regimen

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2017
    Messages:
    122
    Likes Received:
    222
    Dislikes Received:
    4
    My Regimen:
    My Regimen
    My Regimen
    Here's what would change for me:
    - I'd actually enjoy going to university
    - problems don't bother me as I now know what a real problem is
    - whenever I'm in a bad mood I could just look in the mirror and be happy (currently the exact opposite)
    - have so much more time to think about / work on other things
    - enjoy the things I do for fun way more
    - finally be able to go in water with friends again
    - go outside without having to check if it's windy or if it rains

    I started dutasteride a few days ago and have finally a little bit of hope again, that my hair will improve or that I can at least maintain. If I maintain my life would already become a lot better, but so far no treatment has worked for me so I can't imagine that duta will. But yeah at least I have a few months of hope now
     
    Exodus2011 and Georgie like this.
  14. SteveTabernack

    SteveTabernack Experienced Member My Regimen

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2016
    Messages:
    680
    Likes Received:
    1,108
    Dislikes Received:
    14
    My Regimen:
    My Regimen
    My Regimen
    Oh yes. I often think about myself getting a full head of hair back and what a huge weight would be lifted off my shoulders. I continue to have this mindset that this hair loss thing is a phase and I will eventually solve it. I realise this is a massive coping mechanism.

    But as my situation continues to get worse and I see one potential treatment after the other fall through or be postponed, these pleasant day dream copes more and more become replaced with the thought that I'm utterly fucked and whether it wouldn't be more merciful to myself to just give up.

    Hope is the last thing to go right.
     
    pjhair, Georgie and Conan4869 like this.
  15. EvilLocks

    EvilLocks Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2014
    Messages:
    4,110
    Likes Received:
    6,000
    Dislikes Received:
    26
    First of all, your post is extremely relatable. Everything you feel I've felt, and on some days still feel. I honestly did not think I would make it to age 25, as suicide was always in my thoughts and on one occasion I was home alone, I had written a goodbye-note on my computer and I had a handfull of pills in front of me. I thought this was it, but what stopped me was I didn't really want to die. I just wanted to escape the pain of my hair loss, and what seemed like a dark future in front of me.
    I think those who really want to die, go through with it. But those of us who want to live, but a better life, keep on fighting. I think you are one of those people, you have been dealing with this for a long time yet you are still somehow here. If you were not strong enough to handle this, you would have been gone already.
    Trust me, things can change. The first thing you need to work on is acceptance. Well, I will never fully accept my hair loss but I have accepted that at this time, there is nothing that can be done for my hair loss and all I can do is try to conceal it while I wait for a better treatment to come out.
    You say you are on medications that don't work. Have you thought about what those medications might be doing to your health? For all we know, being on those medications might even contribute to making you more depressed. It would be one thing if they work, but as they clearly don't, I think it is time for you to let go. It was like a huge burden being lifted off my shoulders when I finally let go and quit all those horrible things I was putting into my body to make my hair grow, that wasn't working.
    Finally, I want to recommend some products to you that I have used and some of which I am still using, that really helped me get through my days without crying in the fetal position on the daily -
    1. Mane thickening spray - peeps, ditch your Toppik, this concealer is *far* superior, esp. if you have some length to your hair. I recommend applying it outside though because your bathroom can become a mess (this will happen with Toppik anyway). It has to be sealed with hairspray and then you're good to go.
    2. Extensions - I used clip in extensions for a while and would *not* recommend it to anyone with hair loss, period. Esp. if worn daily, it will ruin what you have left of your hair. After I stopped wearing clip in extensions some of the bald spots on my sides even filled in (though still thin). What I would like to recommend to you is looking into Halo hair extensions. They are pretty expensive but can be worn daily without damaging your own hair, plus is takes like 10 seconds to put on.
    3. Nioxin hair products - though not a miracle hair growth fix, it has really helped my scalp health and my itch is less than before I started using it. Scalp feels clean, fresh and it smells nice too. I use system 2 for progressed thinning, btw. I use the shampoo and conditioner.
    4. Using a natural bristle brush - if you struggle with shedding, using this kind of brush is a lot more gentle to your hair and will not pull hairs out while you brush it. Of course those hair who are prone to fall anyway will fall regardless, but using a natural bristle brush will make the process as gentle as possible.
    5. Taking biotin - this might help with shedding, at least it did for me.
    And of course, I need to mention the good old hair piece. Unless your hair has progressed far since the last time I saw your pics, you don't need one - yet. But just know that when or if you get there, that is an option. As a woman you'll be met with understanding when you tell people you wear one (at least most of the time), and they can look pretty natural if done right. I'm not going to get into the cons because this post is already way too long but I just want you to know that you do *not* have to walk around half bald unless you want to. This is always a possibility if all else fails.
    I wish you the best and good luck on this unwanted journey, I hope you will get to a place of acceptance as soon as possible.

    - Evil :)
     
    rclark, countjulian, Yakitori and 6 others like this.
  16. Georgie

    Georgie Senior Member My Regimen

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2017
    Messages:
    3,091
    Likes Received:
    2,690
    Dislikes Received:
    81
    My Regimen:
    My Regimen
    My Regimen
    I feel the same. Denial. Holding my breath for the day the shedding finally stops and I see an abundance of healthy hair growIng out of my genetically buttfucked scalp. Sometimes i wonder what I’d have to do if it got to fully developed Ludwig pattern loss (that’s the bit that’s going the fastest), and then I have to stop myself and say “No. Surely not. Not happening”, because I can’t accept that I will one day be that freak. Even though my hair has gone from 100% normal looking to obviously female pattern in UNDER A FUCKING YEAR, and I continue to lose hundreds and hundreds of hairs a day, I still believe that this can’t just be my fate. The day I do, it will kill me.
     
    rclark and SteveTabernack like this.
  17. Georgie

    Georgie Senior Member My Regimen

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2017
    Messages:
    3,091
    Likes Received:
    2,690
    Dislikes Received:
    81
    My Regimen:
    My Regimen
    My Regimen
    Thank you, truly. I appreciate all of your advice.

    To be honest I have so badly wanted to ditch everything, but the problem is when I do (especially the minoxidil), my eyelashes, eyebrows and scalp hair all go. All of it. I told myself that I would give avodart at least a year, and I will. The rest, it can probably stand to go. It is exhausting. I use this concealer spray on top of my head now because my hair part has that horrible faded outwards look to it as is typical with fphl, but sadly I can’t to much about my hairline which just has to suffer. Fucking retrograde.

    I have used some of the products you mention - nioxin makea me shed far worse, much like nizoral always did. My hair is so sensitive, anything with peppermint or heavy duty cleansers makes it go insane.
    I do use a natural bristle brush some of the time.
    I’ll definitely look into the concealer spray you mention. I will need it more and more as things progress.

    Can I ask, where do you get your toppers from? A lot of the ones I have see look awfully fake.

    Thanks again x
     
    EvilLocks likes this.
  18. blackg

    blackg Senior Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    6,968
    Likes Received:
    6,045
    Dislikes Received:
    449
    I enjoyed reading your useful advice.
    On a side note: I really miss the old days when you were a regular poster on here, along with all the other characters. Characters we have lost recently.
     
    countjulian, pjhair and EvilLocks like this.
  19. EvilLocks

    EvilLocks Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2014
    Messages:
    4,110
    Likes Received:
    6,000
    Dislikes Received:
    26
    Apollo hair :)
    It helps that I have my hairline intact, the front hairline is everything when it comes to making a system natural. Also you have to be very specific about what you want, make sure your piece matches your bio hair in texture, color etc. Also layers will help it blend in.
    Do you have an oily scalp btw?
     
    Afro_Vacancy likes this.
  20. EvilLocks

    EvilLocks Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2014
    Messages:
    4,110
    Likes Received:
    6,000
    Dislikes Received:
    26
    This forum really is not what it used to be..
     

Share This Page